Anxiety Is Not Intuition

Today’s meditation was supposed to be eighteen minutes, but only managed to get through about half of it before the phone rang and I ended up talking to Ms B for about an hour about what dialysis entails and how to talk to Mr R about it.  Hopefully it won’t be necessary, but if his next blood tests come back looking like crap, that might be the direction they’re going.

The Shimmering Veil Tarot and Thera-Pets Emotional Support CardsToday’s draw is the Queen of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s thoughts, intellect, education, logic, and commutation with others.  This can often translate into needing to take an experienced and practical view, the need to either give to another or to receive advice from someone more experienced than yourself, and can be an indication of someone that is very logic driven.

So I’m preparing to do another trip over the border soon, and I’m having a bit of anxiety about it.  Nothing serious and, honestly? I just did it not long ago and everything went fine.  Now that I know the procedure, it should go even more smoothly the next time.

That said?  I’m still feeling those twinges and the Thera-Pets card for today is a good reminder that anxiety is not one of my intuition’s methods of communication and never has been. I need to channel the strength of the Queen of Wands and the experience I have now under my belt, and stop listening to those little twinges that are inappropriate for the situation.

DECK USED:  THE SHIMMERING VEIL TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

The Marching Into Darkness Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question
: Thinking back to a time when I suffered a loss of stability in my life, did I allow myself to grow from it, or did I stagnate?

The Star Tarot

Reading Summary: Growth and betterment (Princess of Pentacles) thru gratitude (Nine of Pentacles) and finding direction (Three of Wands).

Take Away: I seem to suffer a “loss of stability” in one way or another pretty damned regularly.  It’s a part of my life path that has been consistent throughout my life and it is through gratitude for what I still have and the ability to pick a direction and keep moving and adapt that I am the man that I am today.  This is a lesson on personal growth, one that I learn again and again each time events that try to break me down come about.  The key is to keep one’s eye on moving forward and growing, improving and becoming better through the trials that are scattered upon our path.

DECK USED:  THE STAR TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsMar2021 Challenge Prompt
Question
: Where am I at physically at this time?

The Shimmering Veil TarotReading Summary: There is a risk of repercussions afoot (Justice), but you can seize control (Five of Swords) and soar (Ace of Swords) if you step up (Emperor).

Take Away: Yeah so um… Where I am at this time physically is at the cusp between healthy and unhealthy, hovering there on the line and able to fall either way depending upon the choices I make from this point forward. 

This is primarily about my eating habits of late and the (mostly unhealthy) foods I’ve been consuming.  If I battle my urges for these unhealthy snacks and meals and take control to seas a different path, I will recover smoothly from my unwise decisions and be able to turn things around before it goes too far.

DECK USED:  THE SHIMMERING VEIL TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I took a break to eat instead of saying “I’ll just do this one more thing first” and putting it off.  I know this sounds like a pretty minor thing, but considering how tempting it was to play the “just one more thing” game today, I think it’s pretty significant that I managed to resist the urge.

New Moon in Pisces – March 2021

Today is the new moon, and like all new moons and full moons, I did a spread aligned to the moon’s current themes as a part of my recognition of the moon’s cycle and influences upon us. Today’s spread is about the medicine within, and brought to you by Sharron Basanti of Seeds of Shakti.

Pisces New Moon Tarot Reading - Star Tarot

1. What do I need to surrender to the ebb and flow of the waves?

Five of Cups atop Judgement – With my depression came a great deal of self loathing and hatred directed inward. This is not unusual, but it’s time to allow the energy shift of the new moon to fully release these thoughts and feelings and let them flow away.  Sometimes spilled cups are not something to cry over, but a blessing.  Let go of the sickness and look up.

2. In what aspect of my life can I be more fluid?

King of Cups – Gideon is the King of Cups in this reading, as he is from time to time indicated as such for me.  The answer here is that I can be more open with him, more “free flowing” with my feelings.   Sometimes this is easier for me than others, but… I’m trying.

3. How can I trust my intuitive inklings without doubting myself?

Ten of Swords – Don’t fight but allow these ‘inklings’ to wash over me and speak to me. My intuition speaks to me through my body.  Sometimes it is painful and uncomfortable, and it is in that discomfort when my intuition is speaking to me most strongly.  The imagery in this card tells me that I need to make sure I’m paying closer attention to those physical sensations and allowing them to “light a fire under my ass” instead of just acknowledging them.

4. As I drift into dream time, what messages are seeping through the veil from the other side?

Seven of Pentacles atop The Chariot – Slow down and smell the roses.  There’s no need to move fast, you can still control your direction and get where you’re going while moving at a slower and more manageable pace.

5. How can I hold space for my creativity to flourish and thrive?

Ace of Pentacles atop The High Priestess – Allow your intuition to play and have some fun with creation and manifestation. Your best ideas and creations come from this deep inner knowledge that bubbles up from within. Sometimes the brain gets in the way of that process.  Try shutting the brain off and connecting to your gut instead and see where it leads you.

6. Message from the Ancestors.

Nine of Wands Rx atop Nine of Cups – Keep your defenses low and foster feelings of gratitude and positivity.  Look at all you have with an appreciative eye without allowing the need to hoard or defend stir up within you and pollute the water with their poison and conflict.

DECK USED:  THE STAR TAROT

Deck Modification – The Star Tarot

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I posted a little while about deck modifications and my plan to start with the Blue Messiah deck.   My plans changed a bit when I got my hands on this one, though and I decided to start with The Star Tarot by Cathy McClealland instead.

The first thing I did was get out my mini guillotine cutter and my corner rounder.  I then resized one of the cards (the King of Swords), working a little at a time to cut the card down until I found a size that was comfortable and yet wasn’t cutting off the titles.  Although this tarot deck would be easy to read without the titles, I really didn’t -want- to lose them.  I might change my mind sometime in the future, but for now I’d rather they stay.

Once I found the size I wanted, began cutting down cards, one at a time.  I did all of the tops and bottoms first, and compared each to the King of Swords to ensure they were uniform size, then went back and did the sides second, repeating the comparison with the King of Swords with each card.   I then rounded the corners using my corner punch.

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Half way through the deck, I took a pause to take a few pictures for a size comparison between the original size of the cards, and the cropped size.

I’m not entirely pleased with my corner punch at this point.   On a card without a clear coat, the punch I’m using cuts nice and clean.   These cards, though, have a sort of clear laminate type of coating on them, and I’ve noticed that my corner cutter appears to have a little trouble with that coating.  Some of the corners ended up a little… not ragged or uneven, but with tiny tags of uncut laminate slivers.   It’s probably not something I’d have noticed if I hadn’t decided to also edge the cards.

I’m not a huge fan of that type of laminate on the cards, either, incidentally.  It makes the cards feel almost “sticky” when shuffling.  It was the reason I chose this deck to start with, actually.  Between the size and the stickiness, I figured I would never used this deck unless I could make it more user friendly.

So the next step is the inking of the edges.

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I used Distressed Ink for the edging, starting with stamping the edges using Seedless Preserves (purple) for an uneven finish around the edge of each card.  This left a bit of white exposed in places.  I then used Salty Ocean (blue) in a rub around the edges and over the purple.

Above, I’ve posted a photo of the deck half done with cards set out to dry between stamping.  I left the cards to dry for thirty minutes between each application of ink, and rubbed the edges with a rag after the wait was over each time to remove any excess.

The application of the darker ink (purple) done unevenly followed by the lighter (blue) ink afterward created a mottled deep blue effect that I think matches the card’s border and back really well.

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I did take about twenty cards out and use the purple in a second sweep on top of the blue, darkening the color as a result, which once shuffled into the finished deck, resulted in a darker blue than the original results.

I then let the deck sit out for 24 hours to ensure that the ink had fully dried on all of the cards.

I’m really happy with the end result of this modification.  I think the deck looks much better, and the size is much easier to handle.  The only thing I’m not a fan of is the laminate coating that I mentioned earlier.  I’m hoping that with a good amount of use, that it’ll lose some of its stickiness.   The one thing I was worried about with resizing the deck is that I’d damage whatever shuffle-ability they had.  But, I managed to get the sizing uniform enough that it isn’t an issue.

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The last pictures in this post are of the finished deck and the “swaddle” that I chose to home the deck in.

This deck came with a huge box (and a book).   I don’t keep boxes when they are oversized, so I have a variety of decks that are wrapped in a “swaddle” of 100% cotton in place of a box.   For this deck, I found a fat quarter that I feel fits the deck perfectly.  Not just in color, but in the design of the print as well because, to me, it looks like the night sky.