Vulnerability and Trust

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and… I did it twice.  I was actually trying to fall asleep, as for some reason I was having a lot of difficulty in that area this morning.  I didn’t manage to fall asleep during either of those meditations, although they were very relaxing.  And I did eventually manage to fall asleep for a few hours some time after that.  I’m still feeling a bit sleep deprived, but much better than earlier before the nap.

Cosmos Tarot and OracleToday’s draw is The Magician card of the major arcana, which is traditionally interpreted as (essentially) “the man with all the tools”.   The card is about confidence and resourcefulness. The Magician is about having the tools necessary to do whatever needs done, and the skill to wield them as needed along the way.

I just have to say… I love this card’s imagery.  I love the Satyr helping the little lamb to get out of the tree’s branches.  It shows both gentleness and kinship, but also strength and surety.

The lamb, specifically, caught my eye today.  And the hands of the ram.  There is kindness and capability in those hands, and an aching vulnerability in the visage of the lamb.

The message in this card is to trust in the one you know can help you.  Trust in the one that has the strength and the gentleness and the loving care to help you.

Today’s message is about trust, and about putting yourself into the caring hands of the one you trust when you are feeling vulnerable.

DECK USED:  COSMOS TAROT AND ORACLE

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic: 
I’m struggling to maintain motivation.
Question
:  What single, small change can I introduce into my routine that would most benefit my goals moving forward?

Star Seeker Tarot

Reading Summary: Despite my fears and anxieties (Nine of Swords) , continue to make a conscious daily choice (Two of Swords) to grow and move forward (Seven of Pentacles).

Take Away: Sometimes it’s not about the things we do, but the thoughts we keep. When feeling vulnerable, it can be hard to stay open and continue to advance on one’s desires and goals. Sometimes the biggest and best thing we can do is make sure we are checking in with ourselves and making sure to stay open… make sure that walls are not coming up and closing you off. The message here is about mindfulness and self awareness.  It is a small change with a huge and important impact on the long term growth you seek.

DECK USED:  STAR SEEKER TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: 
Free Day!  Pick a spread you’ve been curious about and try it out.

The Fifth TarotWhat doubts need confronting?

I was raised to always seek perfectionism from myself.  To demand it.  Directing my energy into this idealism has become not just a habit, but a compulsion that creates self doubt concerning my skills and abilities.

What ideal needs releasing?

Let go of the expectations of what your mother could be or should be.  You want a new start and a relationship filled with love and support, but this is not who she is and it never will be.  Expecting this from her is futile.  Her heart is not open, nor is it the bud preparing to bloom… instead, it is the withered bud folding in on itself.

What do I need in order to accept my present self?

Patience, tranquility… and most of all, alone time. This isn’t about self reflection as it is about finding peace and allowing time for all that you have learned and discovered to sink in and settle into calm waters.

DECK USED:  THE FIFTH TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic: 
invest:  time // money // love // patience

Wheel of the Year Tarot

Invest TimeAce of Wands – In developing new skills and passionate pursuits. I recently ended up putting the wood burning project I’d been practicing for on the back burner. Perhaps it’s time to pull it back out and play with it a bit more. Some more exploration and experimentation is in order and could be fun.

Invest MoneyQueen of Pentacles – Literally… invest money.  Tuck some of that cash that you’re making right now away to replenish what’s been used over the past few months.

Invest LoveThe Hierophant – Sometimes being a guide to others and teacher requires applying a bit of loving understanding. In this case, I need to take time to make sure I’m investing a bit more love and kindness than is my normal into my client readings.  Someone desperately needs to hear it.

Invest PatienceQueen of Cups – In yourself and others. Compassion is important, and a part of compassion is allowing space for people and providing them with room to speak their truth. Being a good listener is an extremely important part of interacting with others.

DECK USED:  WHEEL OF THE YEAR TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question:  How can I maintain my creative flow?

Wild Unknown Tarot

Reading Summary: Give less weight to your mothers influence (Mother of Swords Rx), give more weight to Gideon’s influence (Father of Cups)… and have confidence in your hard won skills (Eight of Pentacles).

Take Away:  The crap blocks my creativity most strongly is the shrinking, constricting pain that happens in my stomach whenever my mother’s claws manage to tear a chunk out of my insides.  Your comfort… your influence… your love is the balm to that pain and those wounds.  You lift me up and remind me that I am good and capable and more than just meagerly talented but innovative and skilled in my craft.

DECK USED:  WILD UNKNOWN TAROT

Garden Goodness

Today’s meditation was non-existent.  I had plans to re-do my meditation before sleep, as my efforts in the morning were an epic fail… but then I fell asleep on the phone while listening to my mother voicing her many complaints concerning myself and life in general… and, it didn’t get done.

The Magician - Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is Japanese Santa…. no sorry, just kidding.  Today’s draw is the Magician card, which is traditionally a representation of resourcefulness and having the tools you need to manifest… whatever needs manifesting.

What really stands out to me in this card is the rose vines  that surround the figure.  They are lush and happy and in full growth.  This card is a reminder that I need to get out into my balcony garden and do some TLC with my plants out there, preparing them for spring and giving them the little encouragements they need at this time of year to start waking up so that they will sprout and flourish.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE OF LIFE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question
: What can I do to encourage kindness toward myself?

New Choice Tarot de Marseilles

Reading Summary:  Walk softly and carry a big stick (The Star atop Queen of Wands)… and a reiteration of sorts because… it’s okay to go after what you want (Knight of Wands) but make sure you’re taking care to keep boundaries and defenses in place when doing so (Nine of Wands).

Take Away:  Now is a great time to focus on my passions, and in doing so I will feel better and thus be better… and nicer… to myself.   The cards are simply reminding me that I need to be careful not to get carried away and end up sliding down another slippery slope into overwhelm, which is not good for me at all.   Get back on that horse… but take your time.

DECK USED:  NEW CHOICE TAROT DE MARSEILLES

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: What makes me unique?

Tarot of the Golden Wheel

Reading Summary:  My ability to connect with others (Knight of Cups) and lift them (Seven of Wands) up as I guide them towards a better place (Four of Wands).

Take Away:  Aw… okay so that was really nice to hear and I hope it’s true. I don’t really usually see myself as particularly adept socially, but I always hope that when I interact with others that it benefits them in some way, and I love helping people in finding their path… whether that be a new perspective or spiritual path, or in a variety of different life situations.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE GOLDEN WHEEL

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question
: How can spirit help me with my intuition?

Les Métamorphoses du Jour Tarot

Reading Summary:  By giving me the strength and sense of authority (Emperor) to needed in order to break through my self-deceptions (Seven of Swords) and thus better go after what I really want (Knight of Wands).

Take Away:  The cards indicate that spirit’s job in assisting my intuition is primarily in fact-checking.  Not facts of the brain, but rather ensuring that my intuition is not being deceived or re-routed and thus steering me off track.

DECK USED:  LES METAMORPHOSES DU JOUR TAROT