Ten of Pentacles

Value Through Time

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Today’s meditation was the site of an impromptu nap today.  Which is to say that I did intend to meditate but I only  made it in a few minutes before I ended up dozing off into a nap.

What I wanna know?  Is how in the hell I can go from being all the way down to the wall with my legs propped up on the wall, fall asleep, and somehow wake up stretched full length on the bed.  How did I manage to move all the way down the bed in order to stretch out without waking up?

Botan Tarot - Ten of CoinsToday’s draw is bunnies!!  No, just kidding. I mean not kidding because it is bunnies, but that’s… right, okay.  Anyway.   Today’s draw is the Ten of Coins, which is traditionally a representation of satisfactory outcomes, contentment, and sharing the wealth you have worked so hard for with your loved ones to create fulfillment for all. It’s about wealth that goes beyond money and can include one’s health, home, stability, security, as well as their resources and manifestations.

This card is so damned cute, but what really stands out to me in this card today is the moon phases that run up along the left side of the card from the new moon at the bottom left all the way up to the full moon at the upper right corner.

The appearance of this cycle portrayed in this card speaks to me of manifestation over time.  The new moon is the seed of new things, the beginning energy that grows and matures over the length of the moon’s cycle until it is at full power upon the full moon’s appearance, just as when you are building security and comfort, you have to start at the beginning and work over time to accrue what you need to get to where you want to be in life.

The message in this card today is about how the things worth having take time to accomplish.  Nothing easy is as valued as those things you work for, strive for, build over time, and accomplish through hard work and patience.

DECK USED:  BOTAN TAROT

#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
Question: What needs to be expressed?

20th Century Tarot

Reading Summary: Passionate pursuit (Page of Wands) of my man (King of Cups) is providing me needed respite (Four of Swords) over new opportunities (Ace of Pentacles).

Take Away:  In other words, enjoy this time with Gideon while you can. When I pulled these cards I thought that it would be an answer on what I need to express… but it turns out it’s something that needed to be expressed to me. These cards were meant to remind me that today is our last day to enjoy any decently large bulk of time together before he goes on vacation.  I missed this message first thing when I drew these cards, although I did catch the part about valuing and enjoying the time I have.

The thing is? I’m extremely good at creating opportunities for myself, especially when it comes to creative pursuits and making money. So it can be hard for me to step back and rest, recover, and truly enjoy that respite instead of struggling against it and my nature to move forward and do more.   What I needed to hear was that I need to step back, take a breath, and enjoy this last day of freedom.

DECK USED:  20TH CENTURY TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Your Addiction / How to introduce Moderation

Samiramay TarotMy Addiction – Allowing myself to get so wrapped up in my passions (Queen of Wands) that the rest of the world (and the rest of myself) falls away (King of Cups Rx).

How to Introduce Moderation – Focus on the positive things you’ve done (Six of Wands) and stay vigilant against letting old habits resurface (Seven of Wands).

Take Away – I was actually expecting a different addiction to come up in these cards today. *LOL* This one works, tho. Anyway, it’s absolutely true. When I become involved in a project, I close myself off from the world and even from myself. During this time, I exist in this quiet grey area where the only thing that exists is the endeavor I’m working on, and the passage of time in block like increments.  This allows me to work very quickly for huge chunks of time without feeling much in the way of negative effects physically or emotionally. 

And… it’s not healthy. At all. This year has been all about trying to shift me into a place where I can get through the holiday season without doing that, so it makes sense that it would come up now in this reading.

The cards here indicate that the key to making sure that I don’t fall back into this unhealthy habit is to keep in mind just how good I have done this year at changing my work process and how I deal with not just stress but pressure… and stay vigilant against the appearance of warning signs that this old habit has started to try and sneak back in.

DECK USED:  SAMIRAMAY TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: Do I feel I deserve love, compassion, and empathy?

Telluric Tarot

Do I Feel I Deserve Love?
Queen of Swords – Lepidolite & Gentian

Lepidolite is a stone that contains high levels of lithium… an element that is used as a medication to stabilize moods. Gentian root is used to help in an array of digestion problems. Together, what I see in this combination is the need to take what creates your torment and turmoil and work through it.  Consider what has happened and come to peace with it.

Examine the past to find strength in the present is the theme of this card. When I examine my past, I see that those in my past had made love something that is conditional. In the present, through Gideon, my sister, and Z I have discovered that true and abiding love is anything but.  It’s not something to be earned, but is something that we all deserve, no matter who we are or how worthy we feel of it.

Do I Feel I Deserve Empathy?
Nine of Cups – Emerald & Rose

Both emeralds and roses are highly valued for their beauty throughout history, and are both strongly associated with themes to do with romantic love and domestic bliss.

Like love, empathy is something that everyone deserves but very few receive.  The card here and blend of emerald and rose upon it indicate that I am very happy with where I am in the scheme of empathy. I am receiving what I need to in order to work through my trauma, and those that support me do so in the ways I need… including providing empathy when I need it.

Do I Feel I Deserve Compassion?
Eight of Pentacles – Garnet & Cherry

Garnet and cherry wood have something in common that most perhaps do not realize, but actually is the basis of their combination on this card.  They are both excellent foundational building blocks to create something of great quality and beauty.

These “strong bones” (as they would say of a house) are a reflection of the foundation and strength that I have within me that allows me to weather one storm after another.

That said… Do I deserve compassion?  Absolutely.  But I am strong enough to continue on regardless of if others choose to bestow it upon me or not.

Being mute, this is something that you notice often is either present in your interactions with others or is not. In those that give it, there is an underlying strength that runs deep within.  Being able to express compassion without pity is a beautiful thing, and something that is very, very rare.

In this way, this card reflects not just my own strong foundation, but also the strength of others that possess this rare quality.

DECK USED:  TELLURIC TAROT

Paws Off The Mixing Bowl and Whisk

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Today’s meditation was… extended into an impromptu bathtub nap.  I hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but it happened and I woke up in cold water, so I was asleep for at least a half an hour or more.   Fortunately I did not end up snorting water, and I clearly also did not drown. Both very good news.   I also realized part of the reason that I don’t soak in the tub more often.  It’s because I hate getting out.  I absolutely love being in the water and seriously?  My skin is super soft afterward… but I hate getting out.

Tarot of the SidheToday’s draw is the Maker Ten (Ten of Pentacles) which is traditionally a representation of completion, fulfillment, and “spreading the wealth” of your accomplishments among others close to you in the areas of finance, resources, home and health, and manifestations.

The imagery in this card reminds me far more of a King of Pentacles than the Ten of Pentacles, primarily because what stands out to me in this card is that everyone appears to be bringing offerings to the Fae on the throne in the process of being crowned.

When I think of the Ten of Pentacles, I think of a more “share and share alike” atmosphere, although I see the message clearly in having changed the imagery up like this.   At least the message that is there for me today, at any rate.

The message here is that I’ve made it to a good place and it’s okay to feel comfortable and fulfilled.  It’s also okay to be in that place and let people do for me now and then.  I don’t have to have my fingers in every pot.  I’m so uncomfortable with letting other people do things for me that sometimes I forget I don’t need to take it all upon myself.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SIDHE

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling with boundaries in my relationships.
Question: How does devaluing my needs harm those around me?

Odd Hand Tarot

Reading Summary: If I’m spending so much time focusing on the distraction tactics (The Devil), then I’m not moving forward with my goals (Knight of Wands)… not even at a slow pace (Knight of Pentacles).

Take Away:  Yesterday’s reading established that my method of devaluing my needs is by misdirection through use of addictions and bad habits.  By doing this, I don’t just slow down my progress, but halt it entirely.   When this happens it hurts more than just me, but those that depend on me to lead the charge as well as keep things stable and moving.

DECK USED:  ODD HAND TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Do Spread #2
 Why is it so hard for me to not procrastinate on even the simplest of self-care activities?

El Gran Tarot EsotericoReading Summary: Emotional cracks in the bedrock stemming from childhood experiences create an opening for roots that dig deep (Ace of Cups Rx and Six of Pentacles).  These roots give life to an apathetic lack of enthusiasm (roots in the Six of Pentacles giving life to the flowers in the Five of Cups) and a self destructive desire to turn away from those self care activities (The Hermit Rx).

Take Away:  So essentially… self destructive apathy stemming from daddy issue related self loathing.  I have a bit of an issue with how so much shit seems to fall back to childhood trauma and parental crap.  I get it.  I understand it.  I fully grasp the concept that what happens in your formative years becomes a big part of your personal foundation, therefore affecting everything from personality to reactionary responses, to how we act, etc.

The thing is though?  I want to feel I have more autonomy than that.  I want to feel I have more control than that.   I understand that the control I want in these areas can only be won through self reflection and inner healing… I guess I just wish… I dunno.  I appear to be trundling my way into a round of shadow work that I just do not have the capacity to deal with right now nor in the near future. 

DECK USED:  EL GRAN TAROT ESOTERICO

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot#ElementalChallenge
Question: Where can I unburden myself to support my inner fire?

Pride Tarot

Reading Summary: You’re allowed to have some time to yourself (The Hermit). Don’t worry so much (Nine of Swords) about having to babysit every move everyone makes (The Emperor). You’re fooling yourself (Eight of Swords) if you think that they can’t do it themselves without your supervision.

Take Away:  I have a huge “mother hen” complex when it comes to the business and delegating work to others.  Even when others are doing the work, I worry and stress and feel the need to check on the progress and the quality again and again.  The cards are making it clear that this hyper-diligence is not necessary and I can let it go in preference for giving myself a bit more alone time and self care.

DECK USED:  PRIDE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What makes me happy?

The Stunning Tarot

Reading Summary: When I’m feeling self-assured in my creativity (Queen of Wands). When I take charge of collaborations with others and they run smoothly (The Chariot and Three of Pentacles). When I get new perspectives that allow for an expanded view (The Hanged Man).

There is a connection (via color) between The Hanged Man and The Chariot indicating that although I like to take charge, I find it essential for others to contribute their opinions and ideas to the task at hand.

There is also a color connection between The Chariot and the Queen of Wands indicating that I like a good deal of control and a bit of smooth sailing in my creative endeavors… not to mention success (Queen).

There’s a third color connection present between the roots of the tree in The Hanged Man and the Queen of Wands alongside The Chariot, which indicates that in my driven endeavors, I require a bit of stability.

Take Away:  Success, taking charge, and true collaboration between myself and others.   Both control and stability are extremely important in these matters, which extend beyond my business and into a variety of different endeavors that kindle my inner spark to flare up brightly.

DECK USED:  THE STUNNING TAROT

Taking Stock and Saying “Well Done”

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_5597Today’s meditation was a little over fifteen minutes long and was focused upon the mentality of being “enough”.   This is a mentality that I struggle with a lot, and I chose this topic for my meditation because of the graphic to the right, which I saw on IG.

I really like this graphic, and it speaks a lot to how I view helping others…. and being a teacher and guide as a whole.  No one is perfect.  Everyone has things to work on and different experiences that come together to create the whole that is them.  All these little things we learn along the way can be offered to others to help them, and teach them.

It is like when I take on a mentee I’m always sure to let them know that I don’t know everything, and that I will learn from them just as they learn from me. Growing and learning is about give and take.  It’s about sharing and an exchange.  It’s not a one way street.

Next World TarotToday’s draw is the Ten of Pentacles, which is a traditional representation of completion and fulfillment in the area s of one’s finances, resources, health, the physical realm, and manifestations.

Interestingly enough, I don’t see the Ten of Pentacles in the imagery of this card.  To me, it feels much more like the Nine of Pentacles and all that solitary pleasure one takes in their accomplishments.

That said, what really stood out to me in the imagery of this card today is the alignment between the purse that the woman holds and the arc of moon phases in the sky surrounding her.  It is as if she’s swung her purse in a cheerful arc and it left behind a trail of moon phases in its wake.

This aspect of the imagery and what I see within it speaks of allowing yourself to find joy in your accomplishments no matter the time or season. There’s no wrong time to look at how far you’ve come, take stock of your accomplishments, and give yourself a little pat on the back.

DECK USED:  NEXT WORLD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I feel like I’m struggling to see clearly.
Question: What comfort do I get from from the belief that reality exists separately from my perception of it?

Anthro Tarot

Reading Summary: Lost opportunities (Ace of Pentacles Rx) due to an unrealistic singular view (Nine of Pentacles) that comforts only you (The Empress).

Take Away:  OK… First of all I don’t like this question and I disagree with it entirely. I tried to rephrase it to make it more palatable to me… but that didn’t work either, and this is clearly reflected in the response from the cards.

In my opinion if you are unwilling to look outside your own perspective and see the world from the eyes of others and from their perspectives as well as your own, then you are closing yourself off and being close minded. I feel like this question encourages that close mindedness. I do not believe that seeing clearly means cutting out other perspectives and narrowing your view. I feel the seeing clearly requires seeing beyond your own personal perception of reality in order to see the whole picture.

Perhaps I missed the point of the question?

DECK USED:  ANTHRO TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Do Spread #1

Spark and Pen TarotSeeds Sown – Six of Swords – Over the spring and summer, I’ve been working on shedding a lot of bad habits and other negative influences on my physical body like overworking myself and eating less junk every day.

The Chaff – The Chariot – My impatience is a big problem when it comes to most goals, and it’s no different in this case either. In this reading, the Chaff is my impatience. Discarding that impatience and accepting that I’m not going anywhere fast will make room for the type of growth I want to happen. Change takes time.

The Harvest – Nine of Swords – In order to prepare for the harvest to come I need to make sure that I’m staying on top of my mental health. Falling into a depression or creating a situation where anxiety rises into play will only set me back on my physical goals… not to mention my goals in other areas as well.

DECK USED:  SPARK AND PEN TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question: How can I best work with the energy available to me at this time?

Tarot Del Fuego

Reading Summary: Take your time (Knight of Cups Rx) and make good choices (Seven of Cups) that will lead to triumph instead of defeat (Five of Swords).

Take Away:  The energies outlined yesterday weren’t particularly pleasant. If you want to change the trajectory of that energy, you’re going to have to think clearly and really examine every choice available to you. This is a theme of strategization (Google says this is a word, but I’m still not sure), instead of just being reactionary.

DECK USED:  TAROT DEL FUEGO

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I get better at stopping to smell the roses?

Sacred Rose Tarot

Reading Summary: Practice at slowing down (Knight of Wands Rx), and adding a little bit of youthful enthusiasm (Six of Cups) to the effort. It doesn’t have to be solitary (The Hermit Rx), and you need to remember that just because you’re taking time for yourself away from everything doesn’t mean that the world’s gonna fall apart because you’re not there to hold it together (The Tower).

Take Away:  Lots of reminders to slow down and be mindful in the cards today.  In this case, that slowing down is meant to encourage me to find youthful fun in the process of taking a look around and time to smell the roses.  It’s about putting away the guilt and sense of driving obligation and responsibility so that I can be lighthearted in my enjoyment of the moment.

DECK USED:  SACRED ROSE TAROT

Lean In… I Have Two Shoulders

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was just under eleven minutes long and was attached to the end of my yoga / physio practice.   I had a good deal to do today and didn’t want to risk falling asleep, so I did a steady breathing exercise combined with a full body scan while on my yoga mat rather than doing the meditation on the bed while in a piriformis stretch.  It’s just too easy to get comfortable and doze off on the bed sometimes.

Forager's Daughter Tarot - Ten of PentaclesToday’s draw is is the Ten of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of attainment, completion, and fulfilled contentment in the area of one’s finances, resources, health, and the physical world.

What stands out to me the strongest today in this card’s imagery is the mama bear.  This speaks to me of a sense of security and stability when combined with the presence of the little cub that she stands besides. The protective aggression that a mother bear has for her cubs is legendary and well known around the world, and in this imagery, I see the security and stability she offers to the cub just by her presence.

The message in today’s card is a reminder of the security and stability that I provide those that depend upon me, just by being there.  Just by them knowing that I have their backs and am there for them when they have need. As well as a reminder of the fulfillment that I gain from being that security and stability for those I love.

DECK USED:  FORAGER’S DAUGHTER TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I honor or uphold my inner child’s message?

Mermaid Tarot

Reading Summary: Allow others in (Two of Cups) to help keep me on track (The Fool Rx) and in control (The Emperor).

Take Away:  My inner child’s message was about making sure as things settle back into a “new normal” post-pandemic lockdown, that I don’t forget about my self care.  The cards here in this reading indicate that in order to uphold that advice, I need to reach out to others to help keep me from falling back into old habits.  Even kings have advisors.

DECK USED:  MERMAID TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I better utilize my free time?

Tarot MuchaReading Summary: The Ace of Wands and Ace of Cups are conjoined in this reading and represent those things that both inspire my inner spark as well as create a sense of joy and pleasure.   The message here, when combined with the Fool, is that I need to bound after these things with enthusiastic joy.

Take Away:  The cards here speak about the need to balance my work time with more of what makes me feel enthusiastic and inspired.  I currently fill my free time with yet more work, and sleep.  I work while I eat… I work while I spend time with you.  I work all the time.  The cards don’t just tell me what to do with my free time, but indicate the attitude that I need to approach free time with…. not seeing it as an opportunity to “get more done”, but instead as an opportunity to have some fun.

DECK USED:  TAROT MUCHA

#MysticStarChallenge
Question: How can I embrace the new ‘normal’ and re-balance it into my life?

Light Visions Tarot

Reading Summary: This reading carries over from the reading I did today for Tarotholics Challenge.  It speaks of embracing those things that “light my fire” (Knight of Wands) and allowing them to be at the foundation of my restructuring process (Queen of Wands).   The Seven of Swords here is a reminder that taking time to enjoy the things that make you happy is not something to feel guilty about.  You are not “stealing” that time away from other responsibilities and obligations… especially not if you specifically make room in the new life balance to fit these things in.

Take Away:  This again falls into the same message that I have been getting a lot lately.  That is, that I need to make sure I am leaving room on my plate to allow for time to breathe and have a little fun.  A flame cannot spark or dance if it has no oxygen… and my creative spark is the same.  It needs room to stretch and breathe, it needs a sense of openness and fun and a lack of guilt over taking time to enjoy.  It’s important that I create that room as things begin returning to the “new norm” so that I don’t lose the progress and growth that I’ve been experiencing over this time.

DECK USED:  LIGHT VISIONS TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: When do I feel responsible for another person’s feelings?

Fairy Tarot by Doreen Virtue

Reading Summary: When I’m blindly going about my business without paying attention to my surroundings or affect on others (Eight of Winter) and end up hurting other’s feelings (Queen of Winter Rx) as a result either through intention (Princess of Autumn) or inexperience (Princess of Summer).

Take Away:  The truth is? Everyone does this sometimes, including myself.  You get so wrapped up in your own little world and your own personal perspectives, or distracted by a situation, that you forget about everyone and everything else…. and end up hurting someone’s feelings as a result.   This type of situation is when I feel responsible for other’s feelings… because it seems like it is a direct result of my own carelessness (which can also sometimes appear like callousness).  

The advice provided is that when I’m in this type of situation, it’s time to bring in outside eyes to look at what happened and give their perspective and advice.

DECK USED:  FAIRY TAROT BY D VIRTUE