Value Through Time

Today’s meditation was the site of an impromptu nap today.  Which is to say that I did intend to meditate but I only  made it in a few minutes before I ended up dozing off into a nap.

What I wanna know?  Is how in the hell I can go from being all the way down to the wall with my legs propped up on the wall, fall asleep, and somehow wake up stretched full length on the bed.  How did I manage to move all the way down the bed in order to stretch out without waking up?

Botan Tarot - Ten of CoinsToday’s draw is bunnies!!  No, just kidding. I mean not kidding because it is bunnies, but that’s… right, okay.  Anyway.   Today’s draw is the Ten of Coins, which is traditionally a representation of satisfactory outcomes, contentment, and sharing the wealth you have worked so hard for with your loved ones to create fulfillment for all. It’s about wealth that goes beyond money and can include one’s health, home, stability, security, as well as their resources and manifestations.

This card is so damned cute, but what really stands out to me in this card today is the moon phases that run up along the left side of the card from the new moon at the bottom left all the way up to the full moon at the upper right corner.

The appearance of this cycle portrayed in this card speaks to me of manifestation over time.  The new moon is the seed of new things, the beginning energy that grows and matures over the length of the moon’s cycle until it is at full power upon the full moon’s appearance, just as when you are building security and comfort, you have to start at the beginning and work over time to accrue what you need to get to where you want to be in life.

The message in this card today is about how the things worth having take time to accomplish.  Nothing easy is as valued as those things you work for, strive for, build over time, and accomplish through hard work and patience.


#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
: What needs to be expressed?

20th Century Tarot

Reading Summary: Passionate pursuit (Page of Wands) of my man (King of Cups) is providing me needed respite (Four of Swords) over new opportunities (Ace of Pentacles).

Take Away:  In other words, enjoy this time with Gideon while you can. When I pulled these cards I thought that it would be an answer on what I need to express… but it turns out it’s something that needed to be expressed to me. These cards were meant to remind me that today is our last day to enjoy any decently large bulk of time together before he goes on vacation.  I missed this message first thing when I drew these cards, although I did catch the part about valuing and enjoying the time I have.

The thing is? I’m extremely good at creating opportunities for myself, especially when it comes to creative pursuits and making money. So it can be hard for me to step back and rest, recover, and truly enjoy that respite instead of struggling against it and my nature to move forward and do more.   What I needed to hear was that I need to step back, take a breath, and enjoy this last day of freedom.


#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
: Your Addiction / How to introduce Moderation

Samiramay TarotMy Addiction – Allowing myself to get so wrapped up in my passions (Queen of Wands) that the rest of the world (and the rest of myself) falls away (King of Cups Rx).

How to Introduce Moderation – Focus on the positive things you’ve done (Six of Wands) and stay vigilant against letting old habits resurface (Seven of Wands).

Take Away – I was actually expecting a different addiction to come up in these cards today. *LOL* This one works, tho. Anyway, it’s absolutely true. When I become involved in a project, I close myself off from the world and even from myself. During this time, I exist in this quiet grey area where the only thing that exists is the endeavor I’m working on, and the passage of time in block like increments.  This allows me to work very quickly for huge chunks of time without feeling much in the way of negative effects physically or emotionally. 

And… it’s not healthy. At all. This year has been all about trying to shift me into a place where I can get through the holiday season without doing that, so it makes sense that it would come up now in this reading.

The cards here indicate that the key to making sure that I don’t fall back into this unhealthy habit is to keep in mind just how good I have done this year at changing my work process and how I deal with not just stress but pressure… and stay vigilant against the appearance of warning signs that this old habit has started to try and sneak back in.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: Do I feel I deserve love, compassion, and empathy?

Telluric Tarot

Do I Feel I Deserve Love?
Queen of Swords – Lepidolite & Gentian

Lepidolite is a stone that contains high levels of lithium… an element that is used as a medication to stabilize moods. Gentian root is used to help in an array of digestion problems. Together, what I see in this combination is the need to take what creates your torment and turmoil and work through it.  Consider what has happened and come to peace with it.

Examine the past to find strength in the present is the theme of this card. When I examine my past, I see that those in my past had made love something that is conditional. In the present, through Gideon, my sister, and Z I have discovered that true and abiding love is anything but.  It’s not something to be earned, but is something that we all deserve, no matter who we are or how worthy we feel of it.

Do I Feel I Deserve Empathy?
Nine of Cups – Emerald & Rose

Both emeralds and roses are highly valued for their beauty throughout history, and are both strongly associated with themes to do with romantic love and domestic bliss.

Like love, empathy is something that everyone deserves but very few receive.  The card here and blend of emerald and rose upon it indicate that I am very happy with where I am in the scheme of empathy. I am receiving what I need to in order to work through my trauma, and those that support me do so in the ways I need… including providing empathy when I need it.

Do I Feel I Deserve Compassion?
Eight of Pentacles – Garnet & Cherry

Garnet and cherry wood have something in common that most perhaps do not realize, but actually is the basis of their combination on this card.  They are both excellent foundational building blocks to create something of great quality and beauty.

These “strong bones” (as they would say of a house) are a reflection of the foundation and strength that I have within me that allows me to weather one storm after another.

That said… Do I deserve compassion?  Absolutely.  But I am strong enough to continue on regardless of if others choose to bestow it upon me or not.

Being mute, this is something that you notice often is either present in your interactions with others or is not. In those that give it, there is an underlying strength that runs deep within.  Being able to express compassion without pity is a beautiful thing, and something that is very, very rare.

In this way, this card reflects not just my own strong foundation, but also the strength of others that possess this rare quality.


Piece by Piece

mountainToday’s meditation was just under eleven minutes long.  The topic of today’s meditation was a grounding exercise, although they didn’t call it as much.

It started out with imagining a mountain, then adding in details like the snow top and jagged rocks, trees near the base, etc.   And then guided the listener to take that mountain within the self and feel the solid strength of it there inside.

That’s grounding.   What really stuck with me strongest, though, was the quote that was included with the meditation, which I have put into a graphic and can be seen to the right.  It’s about the constancy of a mountain’s presence, and is the epitome of what grounding meditations are about, finding that calmness and solid footing that allows the whirlwinds of the world to swirl around you while you remain calm and still at the center of it all.

Hush Tarot - Seven of CupsToday’s draw is the Seven of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of being confronted with a plethora of choices.  Sometimes this variety of many options can feel like boundless opportunities, and other times it feels chaotic and overwhelming.  The Seven of Cups encompasses both aspects of this experience.

What strikes me about the imagery of this card today is the chaos.  There’s so much going on in this card, and so little to focus on.  Or rather, there’s so much to focus on that is equally weighted that nothing specific stands out as a focal point.

What I see as the message in today’s card is not to allow the myriad of options open to you to overwhelm you and make a mess out of things.  Sometimes to make a decision? You have to  untangle the mess and examine each element separately, because when they are all together there’s no making heads or tails of any of it which means you sit there spinning your wheels in indecision.


#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
: How to increase harmony around me?

Samiramay Tarot

Reading Summary: Be generous (Six of Coins) with your wisdom (The Hierophant), and both judicious and articulate in the sharing of it (Queen of Swords).

Take Away:  Too often I feel like a pain in the ass when when I share my knowledge with others, or like a know it all.  I try very hard not to come across in such a way, but it is a worry and a vulnerability that I can’t seem to shake.  The advice in these cards is that is not at all the case and as long as I continue to share my knowledge in a way that is open and helpful and judiciously chosen, it will continue to not be the case. 


#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
: What personal growth should I be directing my energy toward at this time?

The Painted TarotReading Summary:  Personal changes (Death Rx) and how I view and think about security and stability (Four of Pentacles). You don’t have to split yourself apart to make it happen (Page of Swords).

Take Away: This is about the crap Gideon and I have been talking about over the past few days. It’s about the changes that have been coming up with autumn now upon me and the holiday rush quickly approaching. The cards here are telling me that I need to focus on finding that balance between the security and centered self that I’ve found through my growth over the year, and the change that’s coming.

The solid blue of the Four of Pentacles splinters into the Page of Swords indicating that by focusing on that stable center, I can save myself from having to pick up the pieces and re-learn everything again later.


Lionharts #AstroTarotChallenge
: What in my life has the potential to be most supportive of my best self when choosing a direction in my soul’s journey?

English Magic Tarot

Reading Summary: You’re fortunate enough to be given all of the tools you need (The Magician) in order to make the good choices (Justice) that will carry you forward instead of holding you back (The Chariot).

Take Away:  This is about self empowerment.  The cards are saying that I am a strong, capable, knowledgeable, and talented individual with all of the tools I need to get where I need to go as long as I use those qualities wisely and well. It’s about depending on yourself, listening to your inner compass and strengths.   Depending on others and having those that support you is all well and good, but self empowerment and trusting your own strengths is even more so.

So often my cards remind me that there are others in my life to help me and support me when needed.  Here is the reminder that above all else, self reliance is of key importance.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How do I choose hope over fear?

Telluric Tarot

Reading Summary: Lean on Gideon (King of Cups)… And take what you have been so passionately exploring over the past few months (Ace of Wands) and choose to carry those lessons forward and incorporate them into your life moving forward (The Lovers atop The Hierophant).

Usually when I read with this deck, I take time to break down all of the nuances in each of the stones and herbs used in the cards. They always completely reinforce the reading, but I’m just not feeling inspired to do that this time. Because of that, I almost skipped including this reading today… but since I did actually translate the cards, even if not fully breaking them down, I figured I’d include it anyway.

Take Away:  This is also about what we’ve been talking about lately.  It’s about carrying those lessons I’ve learned this year forward with me instead of putting them on a shelf and waiting until the holiday rush is over to take them back down.  I admit to feeling a little trepidation about this, but I’m willing to give it a try and see how it goes.


The World Won’t End

Today’s meditation was unfortunately interrupted by the call from the technician that came by to fix out internet.   Instead of finishing, I got up to discover that my webhost was also offline, and thus I had to get on the phone with them as well.   I had planned to try again after the technician left, but first  I was on the phone with the webhost for at least an hour (on hold… the fix took like 6 minutes).  Then the technician was here for a couple hours or more.   And then once he left, I discovered that the guy had accidentally ripped the wall shelf out of the wall that holds the modem and had to remount that, then re-configure the security camera… and on the whole it was just a clusterfuck and I didn’t manage to get my meditation in after all.  SO… I will try to do that tonight before bed.

Hush Tarot - Eight of WandsToday’s draw is the Eight of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of movement and fast paced action.  It’s about movement and decisive action that carries you forward.

That traditional meaning for the Eight of Wands makes the imagery of the card in this deck very interesting.  For, in this imagery, you see a woman in repose.  A break taken, rest to be had…. and yet look at all of the surroundings in which she rests.  It is busy.  Bees are busy building their nest, ants explore her skin.  Weeds and plants both sprout up and grow tall and strong, supporting a restless gathering of birds above, and among those weeds and earthen rocks, Fae ponies dance.

She may be resting… but life continues to march on.   And that is the message I see in the imagery of this card today. 

The message is that you don’t have to poke and prod and push 24/7, always on the ball and always pushing and shoving to keep things moving.  Life keeps moving, even when you step aside to take a little break and a bit of a rest.  Stop worrying so much that when you take your self-care time and those little rests you need, that everything is going to fall apart because you are not currently at the helm with both hands on the wheel.


#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
: What’s shaking my confidence?

Tarot Leaves

Reading Summary: I worry that the actions have taken (King of Swords) against my mother (Queen of Swords) are going to come back and bite me in the ass somehow (Justice).

Take Away:  This was actually a really surprising reply to the question.  Not that it’s inaccurate, because it is definitely true.  Just that… it wasn’t where I thought the cards would go.

It is true that I have some confidence issues when it comes to my mother at the moment.  Although the guilt over my stunt in February has faded away, there remains this feeling that things are not finished in that arena, just on hold due to the pandemic.  They won’t be on hold forever, and like I mentioned in one of my readings yesterday?  That pendulum always has to swing back eventually.


#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
: Do Spread #2

El Goliath Tarot 2nd EditionWolfAce of Swords – In order to encourage strength and bravery for the hurdles yet to come this fall, I need to make sure that I am capable of approaching these hurdles and challenges with a clear head.  This means making sure I get the rest I need and do what needs done to keep my brain from becoming fogged up and clouded.

OwlKing of Swords – To better trust my perception of the world and others, I need to learn that seeing with clarity is not enough.  You also have to act upon what you see in a way that is good for all involved.  It’s about lack of hesitation and incorporating those perceptions into my response rather than holding them apart and separate.

StagEight of Swords – In my life, greater dignity can create a stronger sense of integrity by making sure that I am not covering my eyes or looking at things through “colored glasses”.  While being oblivious can sometimes have its benefits, when your eyes are open and you know what’s going on around you, it assists in moving through struggles and obstacles with grace… and allowing others to trust your guidance in doing the same.

Blackbird Three of Swords and Page of Pentacles – In order to increase my motivation, I need to direct my focus toward putting my disappointments to work for me.  Even failures have redeeming qualities to them and provide us from a chance to learn and grow.  Take a look at these moments and seek out what transformative views are available through the lens of what has happened, then use this knowledge as cobblestones within your path forward.

EagleQueen of Pentacles and Five of Wands – Good and successful leadership requires a modicum of grace because it is through tripping over the thorns and feeling their bite that we develop the empathy needed to lead others well.  Without empathy, there is no connection with those you lead.  Without that connection, there is no way to know what they need and come to an understanding of the best path for the greatest good.

SalmonSix of Pentacles – I have been moving by instinct without realizing it in the direction of balance and fairness.  The thing is?  I do realize it… just not all the time.  My moral compass requires balance and fairness.  It demands it from me and from the world around me.  I move in that direction without thought, and am only aware of it occasionally from time to time.

Wild GooseAce of Cups – Emotions are something that I am “stretching into” at the moment.  For a long time they felt like they “didn’t fit” and I struggled with connecting with others on an emotional level, because I wasn’t able to connect to myself on an emotional level.  As I have become older, I’ve grown to realize the value of emotions and how precious the establishment of that emotional connection can be in building long lasting, positive friendships and relationships. This is something I wasn’t conscious of before, but have learned through trial and error along the way.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: When do I trust myself?

Telluric Tarot

The TowerLibyan Desert Glass and Fire Lily – What connects the Fire Lily to Libyan Desert Glass is heat and destruction. One is created in the radioactive heat of a meteorite hitting desert sands… the other thrives in the ashes in the aftermath of fire’s consumption. Both are breathtaking results from catastrophically destructive events.  Many good things can come from chaos and destruction, you just have to wait for the chaos to end and the dust to settle to see what’s there waiting for you in the aftermath.

Five of Swords Cinnabar and Blackthorn – Blackthorn is extremely sour, and is protected by long sharp thorns.  Cinnabar is a dangerous mineral due to it’s high mercury content, and yet the vibrant color has been a draw to humanity for centuries both as an ornamental stone as well as ground into powder as a dye. Sometimes people do stupid things in pursuit of the things that spark their interests and passions… like wearing mercury rich stones or risking the long reach of sharp thorns to pick oh-so-appealing fruit that is then discovered to be oh-so-very sour.

The MagicianPolybasite and Dogwood – Both Polybasite and Dogwood are known for their value in versatility.  One is a wealth of alchemical elements, the other a wealth of potential to create an array of different tools, furniture, decorations, and even instruments. Add to this that the meaning of the dogwood flower is that of rebirth, and what you have depicted in this card is a wealth of resources and skillful adaptability.

Take Away – During times of chaos and conflict, I can find myself frozen.  This holding pattern can be full of uncertainty, but once that chaos has come to an end and the conflict has settled?  It is like the starting shot to get me going.  In the aftermath of these events, I know exactly what I want and where I want to go, and I am ready to forge a path and rebuild, eager to move forward, and trust myself and the direction my instincts and intuition take me in implicitly.



Today’s meditation was fifteen minutes long, and I nearly fell asleep there at the end.  I was just so comfortable and the temperature was just right… it was hard to drag my ass up to get working.   And on that note, I promise that when I soak in the tub on Saturday (or maybe tomorrow), that I won’t nap in there.   I’ll be careful.

Hush Tarot - Eight of CupsToday’s draw is the Eight of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of emotionally disconnecting and/or walking away.  This type of withdrawal or abandonment is usually created through a sense of disappointment, although other emotions are also able to be at play in bringing this card’s theme to the forefront.

What stands out to me in this card is the Fae girl in the lower left corner and the fact that she is pulling on (or off) a hood/headdress that had her concealed as a blackbird.  This brought to mind the phrase “a wolf in sheep’s clothing”, which then had me wondering… who is she hiding from?  What is it she hides from?   What has she need to retreat from or distance herself from that she has to conceal herself under the cloak of feathers?

And there is the message in today’s card.   It’s time to look at what I am avoiding.  What am I trying to distance myself from in life, and why haven’t I cut the ties entirely instead of trying to hide and avoid? I don’t have the answers to this right now, but it’s something that needs to be mulled over.


#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
: Where do I need to bring light in?

Archeon Tarot

Reading Summary: Your mental dialogue (skull imagery in the Ace of Swords) and inner process is to conflicted (Five of Wands). Your bad habits are blinding you (Eight of Swords) to the good.

Take Away:  You need to be nicer to yourself and open your eyes to the positive instead of always settling on the negative and pessimistic views that are your habit.  This applies to both your inner dialogue with yourself, as well as your outlook on the world at large.  The pessimism and negativity is creeping in.  Be aware of it and deal with it… don’t just turn a blind eye and let it grow.

Oh…. shit.   And there’s the answer to what I’m avoiding from my COTD today.


#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
: What projects and energies am I taking with me into Autumn?

Telluric TarotReading Summary: New emotional growth (Ace of Cups)… growth by keeping the past in its place (Six of Cups under Death) instead of allowing it free reign.  Fostering my relationships through connecting with those important to me (Two of Cups).

The Wisteria and Peridot card is an indication of hope and positive inspiration on an emotional level.  It speaks of my emotional growth not being over, but still being in the budding stages.  I love the combination peridot and wisteria in this card because it feels so hopeful and positive.

In the Adder Stone and Clover, we see the energies of childhood experience, enchantment, and curiosity.  With the card that sits atop this card being what it is (will cover that in a moment) what I see in this card is a reference to my childhood.

The Aragonite and Ghost Pipe card pins the childhood reference in place on the table.  It holds it down and keeps it in its place. Both aragonite and ghost pipe are highly unusual in how they appear in the world.  They speak of life rising from what one would think as inhospitable environments, and beauty formed through organic growth.

Lastly we come to the Amazonite and Forget-Me-Nots (Myotosis).  There is a harmony to the Amazonite, which in this card is features in a cluster combined with Smoky Quartz.  The Myotosis then lends a gentle warmth to the representation of coexistence and mutual growth.

Take Away: My emotional growth will continue through the Autumn months and, unlike last year, I need to make sure to keep my past in the past.  That means not allowing father issues to rise up as the veil gets thinner late next month.  Depending on Gideon and others that I have a close emotional connection with can help me in keeping things in balance.


Lionharts #AstroTarotChallenge
: In what direction am I being asked to personally grow starting this month?

Tyldwick Tarot

Reading Summary:  There’s going to be a sudden collapse and shift in direction over this month concerning my personal growth (Three of Staves under the Tower).  Remember that new beginnings (Ace of Coins) sometimes take a good deal of time to grow into anything of value, but the wait is worth it (Seven of Coins).

Take Away: This is about my emotional growth, and having to change gears abruptly into the whole business aspect of things. There will be a moment of frustration involved in the kicking off of this new perspective where income is concerned.  This is to be expected and happens every year.  Patience is important.  Just keep plugging away at it and soon you’ll be reaping the rewards. 

(Then later on after the holiday rush is over, you can return to the emotional growth that has been your focus for so much of this year to date.)


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question:What do I need in order to create success?

Tarot of Reincarnation

Reading Summary: Nurturing strength and dignity (Empress/Eagle) combined with a passionate pursuit of dreams (Queen of Clubs/Longhorn Beetle) and an unrelenting foundational strength (Queen of Diamonds/Lion).

Take Away:  In order to create success, I need to feel that I have a good foundation and nurturing energy to encourage me into following my dreams.  And of course, I need those dreams themselves as well, and the strength to accept and go after them regardless of how silly or impractical that they may seem.  Manifesting success is about making the impossible possible through intention, vision, and determination.