TarotForGrowthOctober

The Mystery Continues

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and I really feel like they’re beating a dead horse lately.  Just saying, but today’s focus was once again upon the journey instead of the destination and how that relates to meditation.

I know it’s a message that lots of people (myself included) need to hear now and then, but it seems like they’re in a little bit of a rut at the moment, because it feels as if all of the meditations recently have been on different ways of phrasing the exact same topic.

Maybe I need to take a break from the guided meditations and try another method for a bit.

Dark Mansion Tarot Today’s draw is the Eight of Cups, which seems to be showing up quite a bit lately.  The Eight of Cups is about walking away, and about taking a new path.  I can’t help but think that this is a continuation on yesterday’s bonus reading, and you hit the nail on the head concerning what was missing from that reading btw.

I don’t know.  The answer to your question about yesterday’s bonus reading is that I don’t know.  But I’m again being prompted to make the choice of releasing myself from something that I’m not just intellectually invested on, but emotionally invested in as well.  The reading yesterday then spoke of returning to it with a new perspective and fresh ideas.

I’m still in the dark, although I think that the cards are definitely -trying- to help me realize what idea I’m hitting a brick wall on.  And the ‘out of sorts’ I’ve been feeling lately indicates that I am indeed hitting a brick wall.   I just need to figure out… on what.

Deck Used: Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.

Question: In what way am I stronger than I realize?

Tarot of the Sweet Twilight Reading Summary: Making positive (The Sun) choices concerning my passions interests (Two of Wands), and mastering the skills necessary to bring those pursuits into reality (Eight of Pentacles).

Take Away:  Sometimes I lose touch with the joy that I feel in the creation of something new.  Something that is uniquely mine. My creation, my passion, my idea… something brought from nothing into reality.  I forget about the joy and the spark sometimes.   The reading today is a reminder of that joy.  My obvious strength is that ability to create, that skill at manifestation…. the hidden talent is in the joy I bring to the process.  It’s sometimes hidden even from me.  And I think it’s time to get back in touch with it again.

Deck Used: Tarot of the Sweet Twilight

Loosen Up

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and I had a very difficult time focusing.  I can’t even really remember what she was talking about in this one, because my mind kept flitting off in different directions and needing to be pulled back in again.   I did stay through the entire ten minutes, though, and repeatedly brought my attention back to the now and my breath each time I caught my mind wandering off in one direction or another.

Halloween Tarot Today’s draw is the Six of Ghosts (Cups) which is a representation of harmony, vitality, and nostalgia in the area of the emotions, intuition, and relationships.

When I saw this card today, my intuition did not see nostalgia, which seems to be the most common interpretation of this card.   Instead, what I see is fun and harmony.

Today’s card is a reminder that things don’t have to be so serious all the time. It’s okay to lighten up and have some fun now and then.

This is something that I often forget.  I get so wrapped up in my goals and responsibilities, that I forget to step back and have a laugh and a lark.

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.  I’ve surprisingly managed to keep this challenge going for twelve days now.

Question: Where may I need to release some control?

Deviant Moon Tarot Reading Summary: When you reach a dead end on an idea (Ten of Swords), sometimes you have to start fresh with a new perspective (The Fool), and work at making better choices the second time around (Two of Wands).

Take Away: When I run across an idea that I’ve reached a dead end on, the releasing of control referenced in the question for the reading has to do with letting go of the tight grip I have on that idea, regrouping with a new perspective, and then trying again from a place of discovery.    This is a process that is very difficult for me.  I hate letting go of ideas I get invested in, but like the an untenable position of the fellow in the box of knives on the first card, sometimes its the only way to progress.

Deck Used: Deviant Moon Tarot (Borderless Edition)

 

Making Choices and New Perspectives

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes, and focused on the difference between love and selfishness.  That is to say, when you make decisions on how you act and the things you say with your loved ones…. are these things spurred by love?  Or are they spurred by selfishness?

One of the examples given is in a situation where your partner has the opportunity to advance their career, but to do so they need to go into a course that takes them away from home for two months.   Do you tell them not to go because you feel the need to cling onto them?   Or do you support the choice that is best for them (which would be to go and do the course)?

If its the first, then you are making a choice based on selfishness, rather than love.

I think that this is a line that a LOT of people need help in discerning.  I don’t think that I’m one of those that has this problem personally, but I have seen a lot of people that cross that line again and again, and never have a clue that their doing it.

Dark Mansion TarotToday’s draw is a double without a jumper, which is to say that they both fell out of the deck together.  The cards in today’s draw are the Lovers card and the Page of Wands.

Sometimes you have to make a choice.

The Page of Wands is all about potential and inspiration.  This is something that I have in spades a good amount of the time.  There’s always new ideas swimming in my head, and on the converse, there are times when self limiting beliefs about myself or others can be struggle for me.

The Lovers overlap this card (it is on top) which expresses that on the whole, to make these potential inspirations and aspirations come to life requires making a choice.  I can’t do them all.  I can’t accomplish everything at once, and sometimes bad ideas are just bad ideas.

Together, these cards are about the importance of making choices about where I place my energy.

Deck Used: Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt again today.  I’m definitely going to try to do the bonus readings every day (or near to it) for the rest of this month.

Question: Where may my growth benefit from external assistance?

Zombie Tarot Reading Summary:  The Five of Swords is all about conflict, disagreements, and competition.  The Three of Cups, on the other hand, is about coming together and cooperation.  The Seven of Swords is along the same theme as the Five, in that it deals with deception and betrayal.   All three of these cards are cards that deal with interaction with others.

Take Away:  I have a deep seated need to understand how others think, and to see their perspectives. Sometimes, though, I have a hard time understanding other people’s motives, especially in times when conflict and deception are involved.  And especially in these situations?  I feel that need even more strongly.  I want to understand, sometimes with great desperation when I can’t get there on my own.

At these times, I often need those closest to help me in expanding my own perspectives and perceptions enough to see things from the person’s view and better understand this other person’s motivations and perspectives.

Deck Used: Zombie Tarot

Sense of Self

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Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and focused on separating from the “self” and becoming a witness in order to deal with difficult emotions and grasp that they are temporary and will pass.

This type of detachment is something that I’m intimately familiar with, but what I really liked about today’s guided meditation was the explanation that came before moving on to the topic of separation from self to deal with emotions.

In leading up to the topic, it spoke about how we say we have a body, and we have a mind.  We speak of these things like they are possessions, rather than saying, for example, that we are a body or we are a mind.  This brings to bear the question of what are we?  She speaks on how many advanced meditation practitioners have come to the conclusion that each of us is a “Witness”, and that in the experience of being human, each of us is at our core pure awareness.

I found this a very interesting perspective, and it fits in well with how I view the world, people, life, and my practice as a whole.  I’ve heard similar perspectives in the past, but how it was presented in today’s guided meditation really struck a chord for me.

Today’s draw is a double without a jumper, meaning that they both came out of the deck together. The cards in today’s draw are the Eight of Cups and The Sun card.

When I look at today’s cards, the message that comes through is about moving on from uncertainty and into a more positive outlook.  I think this goes well with what you and I have been experiencing the last couple of days with the drop and my struggles to fill the shoes as  I feel necessary to be on the supportive side of things.   It’s something I really struggle with, and I don’t entirely understand why.  I’m a responsible person, and I see the aftermath as very much an important responsibility, and yet I wobble under that weight time and again.

As the scales slide back into balance, though, I feel lighter and warmer. Less struggle and more gratitude.  I think you are right that the top space swings high, then like a pendulum, comes to swing back the other way and knock me off that perch.  The cards are telling me that I need to accept my shortcomings and move away from the self blame and recriminations.  Be happy with the experience as it is and bask in the balance we have with each other, instead of picking apart my part of it a little at a time to dig out negatives.

Deck Used: Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt again today.  As mentioned before, I might try to do the bonus reading every day (or near to it) for this month.

Question: How can I better honor the divine masculine within me? (Note: The word honor is stressed to make sure I keep in mind the nature of the question through the reading of the cards and answers written here.)

Reading Summary: The Queen of Cups is about receptive alpha emotional energy, and the King of Cups on the other side is projective emotional energy.  Separating the two is the Eight of Wands, which speaks of swift, fast paced action and change, and I also pick up hints of the inverted meaning of misalignment in the image.

Take Away:   Recognition and acceptance of my emotions is needed.  At the moment, I use my busyness and the cacophony of having my fingers in so many pots to put aside and separate myself from my emotions.  If I want to honor the divine masculine within me, I need to seek out a better connection between that receptive energy and the projective energy within my emotions, and seek a wholeness and synergy without wedging “everything else” in between to keep my emotions detached and compartmentalized.

Deck Used: Spirit Tarot (from the Halloween Spirit Store and Spencer’s Gifts)

Uncertainties in Self

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Today’s meditation was just under ten minutes long, and was a quiet and peaceful meditation where she didn’t do a lot of talking.   I enjoy these primarily because I really like the background music playing in the app.  In fact, I think I’ve mentioned before that I would love the opportunity to buy the music.

Essentially, the music is individual notes played lightly (and slowly) on a keyboard to some very subtle, barely audible EMDR-type musical flow in the background.  It’s very relaxing, and my mind seems to visualize it into an open plane of water (the background noise) with occasional drips falling into the smooth expanse to cause ripples (the piano notes).

I might need to contact the app creator and see if they can provide me with some information that might help me track down the artist.  It’s worth a try.

Anyway, the talk at the end of the guided meditation focused primarily on using meditation to better condition ourselves to be present in the moment, rather than spending too much time reflecting on the past or focused on the “what ifs” of the future.

Today’s draw is the Strength card, which I seem to be seeing a lot lately in my readings.  The Strength card’s traditional representations involve inner strength, outer strength, courage, persuasion and coercion.  It can also indicate raw emotion, self doubt, and a lack of energy.

I feel that it is in those alternate meanings that I find the message of today’s card.   The Strength card is telling me that it’s okay to be tired and take a rest now and then.  It doesn’t make you weak to take care of yourself and, sometimes, that means allowing for that time of rest and time to deal with the hint of rawness that is going on with me right now.

I think that it also correlates to the drop and helping you through it.  I love you so much, and I don’t want to let you down.  I really hope that I’m not letting you down. (Points to the self doubt aspect.)

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

I did the #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt again today.  As mentioned before, I might try to do the bonus reading every day (or near to it) for this month.

Question: How can I better honor the divine feminine within me? (Note: The word honor is stressed to make sure I keep in mind the nature of the question through the reading of the cards and answers written here.)

Reading Summary: The Hermit card speaks of time alone and working on things on my own.  The Ace of Pentacles is a touch on manifestation and ‘new money’ and the Queen of Pentacles, juggling home life and work as well as giving myself time to self-nurture (which again ties around into the Hermit card).

Take Away:   Focus on my home business. My business is all about manifestation and creativity.  It involves a LOT of working on my own and I do a good deal of reflection during that time.  I find the creative process of manifesting ideas into a beautiful creation in reality to be soothing and invigorating, all at the same time.   The cards indicate if I want to honor my divine feminine side, this is the path to doing that.

Deck Used: Ludy Lescot Tarot

Choices and Hindsight

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Today’s meditation was just over eleven minutes long, and the majority of the guided meditation was a full body scan from head to toes.

I’ve mentioned this before, but this is one of my favorite types of meditation, as it allows me to do a check-in with myself and my body while I meditate.

That check-in helps me better figure out what needs tending as far as scarring, flexibility, and residual issues from injuries are concerned.

Today’s draw is a double without a jumper, meaning that they both came out together without a jumper.  I switched decks for the alternate to combine with the Halloween Tarot, as I feel that the one I was using has a bit more of a November feel, so it will make a reappearance next month.

The cards in today’s draw are the Strength card, and the Two of Swords.

When I look at these cards, what I see is the message that sometimes you have to make the hard choices, but that you are strong enough to do so, and have the inner strength to adapt to the results and consequences that come after these choices are made.

It is a message about standing by your choices once they are made, more than which choices to make along the way.  It is about standing by your decisions once these decisions have been made, and not just riding out the aftermath of what comes from those decisions but making the aftermath work for you.

I think that this is a really important message to take to heart.   Sometimes when we make decisions in life, we look back later and say “oh geez, I should have done this instead.”   But the fact is, that is in the past and the past isn’t what you have to deal with.   It’s the present that’s now at your feet and needs your time.

Traditional representations for the Strength card are inner strength, persuasion and/or coercion, compassionate influence over others, and courage.  As a Major Arcana card, this card deals with the “big picture” rather than any one aspect of the human condition.

The Two of Swords is traditionally a representation of duality, unions, division, and partnerships in the area of thought, intellect, logic, communication, and instinct.  This means that it deals with topics such as decision making and choices, as well as indecision and confusion.

Deck Used: The Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

I did the #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt again today.  I like them this month, and I have so many decks that are perfect for the month of October that I might try to do the bonus reading every day (or near to it) for this month.

Question: What can I do to better improve my relationship with my body?

Reading Summary: The Five of Wands speaks to me of needing more physical activity.  The Three of Cups means that I will do better along that path if I do it with a friend.  The Knight of Pentacles indicates I may need to spend a bit of money along the way, which to me reads as a gym membership component.

Take Away:   I need to start going to the gym with J again. Ok so… Although this is an answer that I knew already in the back of my mind, I didn’t expect it to be the answer that came up for some reason.   The truth is, though.   I do need to start going to the gym again.  Between the cancer, and other stresses that have come through my life since then, I never managed to gain back the weight I lost during my cancer treatments.  From experience, I know that I don’t do gym time well if I have to go it alone.  I need the distraction and motivation of having someone else there.   I also know through experience that if I don’t work out, I’ll never gain the weight back.  If I want it back, it has to be through muscle weight, because I don’t retain fat in a way that is conducive to weight gain.

Will I get a gym membership again and start going with J?  Very probably.  Although, probably not until after the holidays are over.  The busy time is creeping up fast, and I’m just not going to have the extra time once the bomb drops.

Deck Used: Trick-or-Tarot Deck