tarot self care

Morning Bonus Read – Boundaries

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“Have a talk with your divination tools about boundaries. Boundaries play a vital role in healthy lives both magical and mundane, but they can be tricky or just plain hard to set and honor.”

Discover the Pacific Northwest Playing Cards

Where have I neglected to set boundaries in my life that are needed?
Four of Clubs

In my home life.  To be fair, living with two women that know me so very well does make boundaries a bit more challenging than normal.  With Z living with my sister and I since March, there’s a lack of space and privacy that is making the boundaries I would normally set and uphold nearly impossible to establish.  There’s just not enough space right now. I’m doing the best I can under the circumstances tho.

Is there anywhere in my life where my boundaries are too strict or are unnecessary?
Queen of Hearts

It’s not necessary to guard myself so stringently against emotional upset.  A part of life is going through the bumps and bruises that allow you to grow, and this includes emotionally.  Putting up stringent boundaries to protect yourself isn’t healthy.

What are my most important boundaries?
Ace of Spades

New ideas are all well and good, but one of my most important boundaries is the pause taken to really think things through before actively pursuing when inspiration strikes. If I pursued every single inspired idea that popped into my head, I would never get anything done.  There’s just not enough time and energy to dive into them all.

What are the most important factors or priorities that inform my boundaries?
Two of Spades

Depth of thought and careful consideration, as well as a need to cover my ass in those times when I’m not being as observant and aware of my surroundings as I should be.  Everything in life boils down to the choices we make and a lot of the boundaries that I erect are based around guiding myself into those good choices.  First you dig the trench… then you pour the water.

How do I regularly honor someone else’s boundaries?
Jack of Spades

By pausing and listening rather than trying to push my own thoughts and ideas on others.  Although I’m happy to teach, how I honor others boundaries on the regular has to do with how I am willing to listen and learn from others through their thoughts and perspectives.

Is there anywhere in my life that I’m neglecting to honor someone’s boundaries?
Three of Spades

When I see someone in pain, I want to help.  Sometimes I overstep other’s boundaries in my desire to help them through their troubles.

DECK USED: DISCOVER THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST PLAYING CARDS

That Whisper is You

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Today’s meditation was… thwarted. I pulled an all-nighter yesterday to bet orders done and shipped out today as planned. When I settled in to meditate, I fell asleep almost immediately.  I then tried again later in the day… and had myself a second sleep when I fell asleep almost immediately a second time.  I’ll try again when I go to bed tonight, but I have a feeling that today’s meditation just was not meant to happen.

Tarot of the SidheToday’s draw is is the Dreamer Nine (Nine of Swords), which is traditionally a representation of nightmares, torturous thoughts, worries, headaches, insomnia, and other anxieties as well as their effects.

What stands out to me the strongest in this card’s imagery today is the hand that hovers in the air above the sleeping Fae.  It comes from her breath, swelling out ethereal and insubstantial from deep within her body only to rise up and out of her into the physical.  Blood and bone and claws that hover over her as she dreams.

The message here today is about where anxiety and worries come from, and feels like a reiteration of yesterday’s message about where heartache comes from.

This card says… That scary ass dream that wells up in the night? It comes from you.

Our worries and anxieties are self created, and not something inflicted upon us. They come from our brain and build as we let them have free reign.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SIDHE

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: How can I focus on healing my traumas rather than trying to erase them?

El Gran Tarot Esoterico

Reading Summary: Don’t depend on your conscious mind alone. Your spiritual path (The High Priestess) is an important part of looking forward into the future (Page of Swords). Allow your friends to lift you up (Three of Cups) when you are feeling overburdened (Ten of Wands).

Take Away:  There is encouragement here about shadow work, and about using shadow work to heal the subconscious.  This is where the spiritual path comes into the equation, because when you work on your inner self, it influences how you see the future and how you confront it and plan for it.  There is a need, though, to have a support system in place when you are doing shadow work, as it can quickly become overwhelming without a strong support system of loved ones there to help keep you from sinking too deeply into the work and doing more harm than good.

DECK USED:  EL GRAN TAROT ESOTERICO

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What kindness do I need to gift myself with?

Pride TarotReading Summary: Taking things slow does not mean that you’re not in control (Knight of Pentacles), it just means that you need some time for yourself (The Hermit) and you’ll get there when you get there (The Chariot).

Take Away:  Make the world move at your pace, instead of allowing it to dictate yours.   This is something I’ve sort of lost sight of over the years I’ve been growing my business. This used to be my standard mode of operation.

When I started my business, though, the pressure and stress and added responsibilities sort of welled up and drowned out that slower pace and easy energy.  It seems like it might be time to start exploring this again, though.  Maybe that is what is lacking in my efforts to slow down.

DECK USED:  PRIDE TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question: Water, what should I take to heart about being myself?

Tarot of Why

Reading Summary: Sometimes it can feel really risky (Ace of Pentacles) to put yourself out there (Ace of Cups), but you’re strong and capable and able to connect with others (Three of Pentacles). That connection is very rarely an emotional one, but on other levels (Again, Three of Pentacles combined with Ace of Pentacles being on top). So don’t get disheartened (Four of Cups).

Take Away:  Ok so the question here that’s posed in the answer that these cards give is… do I really want to have a more emotional connection with people?  Or am I happy in connecting with them in the way that I already do?

I think it’s fair to say that I’m pretty damned emotionally fulfilled in my life.  Gideon does a very good job of making sure I’m emotionally happy and healthy and contented.  So I guess the answer is that I need to stop looking at the ways that I do connect with others as less-than just because I connect to them in a different way and on a different level than most.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF WAY

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What memories bring me joy?

Stunning Tarot

Reading Summary: Removing myself from my uncomfortable situation (Five of Cups) so that I can own my life and my destiny (Queen of Wands) and turning that into something of value (Nine of Pentacles).

Side note: This deck really loves to hand me the Nine of Pentacles. It’s like a deck-specific stalker card, which is really interesting because usually stalker cards carry across multiple decks for me when they show up.

Take Away:  Emancipation. I wouldn’t have really considered the emotion I feel when I think on these things as joy, but definitely happiness.  When I emancipated from my parents, there was a sense of elation and hope that came with it. The independence and power of having my future in my own hands was like a breath of fresh air, and what I have done with those gifts is a source of pride for me.

DECK USED:  STUNNING TAROT

Pulling Out the Blade

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Today’s meditation was eight minutes long, and was mostly just my lying there trying to stay still and fidgeting because I had so much to get done and couldn’t manage to ignore the fact long enough to settle and do some pranayama and stretching in peace.

Next World Tarot - Three of SwordsToday’s draw is the Three of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of heartache, hurt, grief, and emotional pain.

The Swords suit is about the mind, and this is especially evident in this particular card, because the Three of Swords is about the head, not the heart…. or rather, it’s about how the head can affect the heart and tear it apart if given the free reign to do so.

What stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is the shark.  The shark is actually the hilt of one of the swords, and as mentioned, the Swords represent the mind.  I see that shark hilted sword as the most vicious of them all, and it makes me think of that inner voice that we all have that likes to rip us up inside.  That inner critic we try to hide from others… even while it whispers incessantly in our ear.

The heart in this imagery is in such very bad condition, and the imagery speaks a truth that is sometimes hard to accept. You can’t heal the damage until you pull out the blade.  This is why it’s important to work at quieting that inner critic and fostering optimism and hope… these are things that help heal those wounds and provide the strength needed to pull out those blades stuck in one’s wounded heart.

DECK USED:  NEXT WORLD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: How does wishing I’d never experienced the trauma hinder me from healing it?

Spark and Pen Tarot

Reading Summary: You cannot learn from (Page of Wands) and fully lay claim your present (King of Wands and King of Pentacles) without accepting your past (Six of Pentacles).

Take Away:  When you are generous with yourself, giving yourself room and time and a depth of understanding, you are then giving yourself space to learn how to process and move past your trauma.  That then allows you to stand stronger than you were before, and move forward with more confidence than you would manage to obtain by avoiding the healing and just wishing the trauma away.

DECK USED:  SPARK AND PEN TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Does luck (good or bad) actually exist?

Hilda TarotReading Summary: Sometimes enthusiasm can lead you to making reckless choices (Ace of Wands) and putting yourself in danger by doing stupid shit (The Devil), and yet you still come out the other side just fine, a little older and wiser (Queen of Cups) and yet otherwise unscathed.

Take Away:  I’m not entirely sure of my own personal opinion on this question, but the story told here in these cards clearly indicates that yes, luck does exist.

Sometimes?  Anticipated consequences just don’t happen, even when all logic and common sense dictates that they should. I would consider that luck… wouldn’t you?

DECK USED:  HILDA TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question: Something I can take pride in about myself is…

Luminous Void Tarot

Reading Summary: I am very good at balancing my need for stability and structure (Queen of Discs) with my spirituality (The High Priestess) and intuitive gifts (Strength).

Take Away:  I’ve never really thought of this as something to take pride in?  That’s not to say that the quality isn’t a good thing.  I’m very happy with the fact that I’m able to have this balance and be comfortable in my beliefs and abilities (with the exception of occasional growth spurts that take me by surprise).  But… pride?  Then again, I guess maybe I do have a sort of quiet  fissure of pride in this beneath the surface.

DECK USED:  LUMINOUS VOID TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I safely share more of my gifts with the world?

Monstarot

Reading Summary: Don’t (Nine of Wands). The better, if not necessarily easier, choice (Two of Swords) is to develop them at your own pace (Page of Cups).  You can then apply them to your life and your goals (Ten of Pentacles).

Take Away:  Whenever the topic comes up about sharing my creativity, I always end up getting warning cards and roadblock cards.  And, here they are again.  “How can I safely share more?”… answer “NO!”  Right?

Ooph.

The cards indicate that it’s important to keep my creative projects and ideas close to my chest.  Sometimes this can be really difficult.  When you have an idea that’s super awesome and you want to shout it from the rooftops, it can be really difficult not to share.  That is where the Two of Swords comes in, because the struggle involved in keeping things to yourself is really difficult sometimes.

In this reading, it makes it clear, though, that keeping things to myself while I learn and develop my skills is very important.  Then, in that time when I am ready to apply these creative pursuits to my life and my goals… that is the time to share them.

DECK USED:  MONSTAROT

A Whole Person… Not Half

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was a second day of pranayama exercises for pain management.   Is it bad that I don’t wanna go back to work and feel like I need a few more days off?  Not that I’m taking a few more days off, I’ve been easing back into work a little each day for the past few days, so that I won’t be overwhelmed tomorrow.  But still…. it feels like this week went by way too fast.

Tarot of the Sidhe - Dreamer TwoToday’s draw is the Dreamer Two (Two of Swords) card, which is traditionally a representation of making hard choices and weighing your options in an effort to come to a decision, as well as can be an indication of avoidance.

This card is, in fact, the same card that I pulled yesterday, although the imagery is vastly different, and the message I see in this card is different as well. What I see in the imagery of this card is two halves making a whole.  I see clarity through diversity.

A lot of times we divide ourselves into pieces.   Things like “head/heart” or “good/bad” and then we weigh one side against the other and raise one up while the other is pushed away. What I see here in the imagery of this card today is the equality of accepting both halves and allowing them to give you a wider perspective and the “wings” to move forward with knowledge and certainty.

The message in this card today is about allowing both “sides” of you to have a part in your life.  It is not a “bad side” and a “good side”.  They are you… and you are not whole without them both.  This is whether we are looking at the dynamic of good and bad, or head and heart, or any number of divides people use to slice themselves into pieces.

Be whole… seek balance.  These things are what make a person complete.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SIDHE

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m plagued by anxiety.
Question: How can I better listen to anxiety’s messages in the future?

Encore Tarot

Reading Summary: When anxiety pops up and you trip over it (Wheel of Fortune Rx), don’t immediately jump on yourself (Eight of Wands) and make judgements, but take the time to really pay attention to what is going on (King of Swords).

Take Away:  It’s natural to immediately go on the defensive when anxiety spikes.  These reactions are often (not always) mixed signals of fight and flight that tangle up in themselves and make a mess out of things… so when you then immediately go on the defensive you are discounting anything that the anxiety might have been trying to say before getting all tangled up and “tongue tied”.  Instead, you need to own this moment.  Own it and examine it, listen to what the anxiety is saying and work at communicating with this reaction to suss out where it came from and what to do about it.

DECK USED:  ENCORE TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do I need to focus on for self care this new moon?

Hero Analysis for the Future #79 MHA TarotReading Summary:  Your creative juices are flowing (Page of Cups) and you have the energy and enthusiasm to follow where they lead (Page of Wands), but you’ll have make sure to stay in control and be quick on your feet to keep up (The Chariot).

Take Away:  The rest through the waning time of the moon’s cycle seems to have really done me a lot of good.  I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by the time my days off came around this month… really overwhelmed.

My recovery has helped me in feeling more myself, and that includes the kindling warmth of creativity and inspiration that begin to get snuffed out during my phases of overwhelm and burnout.  The cards here indicate I should embrace that kindling flame and direct it where I want it to go.  Now is the time to add a little control and direction to the situation so that that kindled spark of energy doesn’t get wasted.

DECK USED:  HERO ANALYSIS FOR THE FUTURE #79 MHA TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question:  A loving reminder as I allow myself to feel, breathe, and heal.

Pride Tarot

Reading Summary: When it feels like the walls are starting to crumble (The Tower), lean on your friends (Three of Cups) and step back from impulsivity (Knight of Swords) into a more measured approach forward (Page of Swords)

Take Away:  The reminder here is that I have loved ones that care for me and support me.  Sometimes they hop in and help on their own, but they’re just as happy to help when I actually reach out and ask.  The help mentioned here is emotional support, and the cards indicate that if I reach for them for emotional support instead of acting impulsively on my own, I will benefit from their influence in guiding me to a more measured approach to the issues and my recovery from them. 

TL:DR; You’re not alone.  Don’t act like it.  Slow down when needed and accept emotional support when you need it.

DECK USED:  PRIDE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What stops me from sharing my gifts?

Vivid Journey Tarot

Reading Summary: Concern that instead of finding a beneficial unifying experience working with another (Two of Cups) and a different perspective provided through their influence (The Hanged Man), that instead I’ll end up having to defend myself against somebody stealing my shit (Seven of Wands) and fucking up my business (The Tower).

Take Away:  Okay so… Fear.  What stops me from sharing my gifts more openly is the fear that I will have my creative endeavors stolen from me or what is the positive results of my endeavors threatened.  This result would be not just devastating to my endeavors and possibly my future stability, but also to my emotions as when my trust is crushed I have a habit internalizing those emotions and turn them upon myself.  This risk is represented in the fact that the Two of Cups was used for representing collaboration with another.

DECK USED:  VIVID JOURNEY TAROT

Pay Closer Attention

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was focused upon pain reduction through pranayama (breathing exercises). Honestly? I was having a bit of an anxious morning to begin with, as my family doctor’s phone was on the fritz and when I tried to call there was a “this line is no longer in service”.  It gave me a serious “oh fuck” moment as I worried if I was going to be able to get my refills.  (It’s all sorted now. I ran down there and talked to the receptionist in person. Apparently they’re having “phone problems”.)

Next World Tarot - Two of SwordsToday’s draw is the Two of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of struggling with a difficult choice and weighing your options in an effort to come to a decision.  It can also indicate an avoidance of making a choice, as is demonstrated by the blindfold.

Okay so… I didn’t see the significance of this when I pulled the card this morning.  I didn’t even guess that the fact that the rock the woman is sitting on looks like a toilet would be a warning of what was to come today.   Totally missed that message until it was too late.

And then… I look closer and realize that it actually is a toilet.  Jesus christ I really wasn’t paying attention this morning.

Right.  Tummy problems.  Today’s message was to watch out for tummy problems.  I did not listen… and I’m now paying the price.

Okay, really tho.   Today’s message is about making good choices.  I made a really bad choice today and the card gave me a very literal warning that I completely missed until it was too late.   It’s all about the good choices.

DECK USED:  NEXT WORLD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m plagued by anxiety.
Question: Why have I struggled to hear anxiety’s messages in the past?

Tarot of Why

Reading Summary: Because the newness of it (Ace of Swords) has blinded me (Eight of Swords) and causes a need to regroup (Four of Swords).  This then smothers out the light (The Sun) by muffling my motivation (Knave of Wands Rx).

Take Away:  When a spike of anxiety happens, it feels like it’s coming out of the blue.  It’s painful and so “new” feeling that it leaves me stumbling blindly, as if reeling from a blow.  Because I react in this way, I then need recovery afterward, which steals away motivation and muffles out opportunities for more positive experiences.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF WHY

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Use Care / Be Carefree

Stunning TarotUse Care – Warrior of Swords – Use care both in your ambition but also in your comebacks. When you quip, sometimes it can be taken as more cutting than you intend it to be. Make sure that you are not getting so focused on your ambitions that you lose track of everything else around you.

Be Carefree – Three of Swords – You worry too much.  You spend too much time focusing on the negative and viewing the world through a pessimistic lens.  Stop closing your eyes to all of the good that surrounds you and work at being more carefree in enjoying things from a more positive and optimistic viewpoint

DECK USED:  STUNNING TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot#ElementalChallenge
Question: Water, when I am ready to release and flow, what should I know?

Alan Tarot

Reading Summary: There are always going to be others that care about me (Two of Hearts) and have the same vision as I do to help me along the way in my endeavors (Three of Diamonds).  Make sure that you aren’t leaving these people behind in your effort to find something better (Six of Spades).

Take Away:  “Release and Flow” is such a foreign concept to me. But the advice here makes sense.  If “release and flow” means going with the flow to move on from something crappy into a better situation, then it’s important not to leave those behind that are your support system and have a piece of your heart in their hands.  They should be along with you for the ride.

DECK USED:  ALAN TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What are my gifts?

Sacred Rose Tarot

Reading Summary: Diving into creative endeavors and passionate goals (Knight of Wands). Knowing when to cut and run (Six of Swords)… and when to stay and fight (Five of Swords).

Take Away:  Sometimes a gift can also be a curse, and the first part of the answer for this question is definitely one of those.  The gift of being able to hone in on my focus and plow into my intent, to go after what I want with single minded determination is both a gift… and a curse.  Because when you have that kind of focus, and that kind of drive?  Sometimes you forget about all the other important things that need to be tended to as well.

The second gift is the ability to know when it’s time to walk away, and when it’s time to stay and fight.  When I walk away, I do so for good reason.  It’s for my own health and well-being, and I rarely look back on these decisions.  On the other side of this coin, when I dig in my heels and decide to stay and fight for something I believe in, I become relentless in that and the determination and conviction I bring with me into these situations more often than not turns the table to my benefit.

DECK USED:  SACRED ROSE TAROT

It’s Okay to Open Up a Bit

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and was one of those harp strings meditations with the chimes set up to tell me when to shift between piriformis stretches.   The lack of time with the chiropractor is really starting to show in my stiffness and the amount of pain going on in my back and ribs during both my yoga and my meditation.  I’ve tried upping my yoga/physiotherapy to compensate, but it doesn’t seem to be helping.

Tarot of SidheToday’s draw is the Dreamer Princess (Page of Swords) which is traditionally a representation of a receptive omega energy in the areas of thoughts, intellect, aspirations, communication, and logic.

What really stands out to me in this card today is both the title at the bottom “Gift of Telling” and the swirling of leaves that spiral around the Fae before traveling off into the distance on the wind. These things remind me of reading to children at the library.  I don’t usually get on with children, which isn’t  surprising as I grew up very fast.   Yet, for a time in high school I volunteered at the library for work credit for one of my classes, and one of my favorite experiences was reading to the children for story time.

During this time, children would gather around and I would read to them from the pre-chosen book for the day, and they would all be so eager… engaged.  Some of them even came to sit closer or lean against me or my chair (depending on if I was sitting on the floor or not).   This was a time of learning for me, and of receptive learning… as well as a time of “Telling”.

This memory was triggered by this card today, and the message here is in the reminder that when you teach… you also learn.  It’s never one sided.  If you’re open to allowing others in you can get as much from teaching and sharing with others as you give.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SIDHE

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m plagued by anxiety.
Question: How can I benefit from regarding anxiety as a messenger instead of an enemy?

Gypsy Palace Tarot

Reading Summary:  By not turning away from my anxiety and regarding it as disposable (Eight of Cups), it can then become empowering to both the heart (Queen of Cups) and mind (Queen of Swords) if I pay attention to what my anxiety is trying to tell me.

Take Away:  Yesterday the cards indicated that my anxiety is a way to keep me from becoming too comfortable and confident in my situation and stability. The cards here indicate that if I choose to listen to these warnings my anxiety brings up instead of ignoring them, it will allow me to find steadier footing by engaging my heart and mind into the equation so that I can weigh out how things are going more clearly.

DECK USED:  GYPSY PALACE TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What joy in my life needs more recognition?

Tarot del FuegoReading Summary: My ability to see different perspectives (The Hanged Man) on the painful crap that happens (Ten of Swords) then opens me up to a wider variety of choices and opens up more opportunities to me than I would otherwise have (Six of Cups).

Take Away:  I’m not entirely sure that I would consider this a joy? But I think that the answer possibly applies anyway, as having the ability to have all these choices before me creates opportunities for me to instill more joy in my life.   So then, the joy in my life that needs recognition is not the joy sitting before me, but rather the potential for joy that I disregard when looking over all those options and opportunities set out before me..

DECK USED:  TAROT DEL FUEGO

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot#ElementalChallenge
Question: What emotions serve me better released instead of held on to?

Tabula Mundi in Minima Tarot

Four of Cups – It’s better to allow my love to wash over others than to hold it in and be restrained. It shouldn’t be saved to be expressed just for special occasions, but spread throughout each and every day.

The Emperor – Release your need to be so rigid in so many aspects of your life.  When you hold on to things too tightly, you run the risk of crushing them to dust.

Six of Wands – Allow others to see the lighter side of your personality.  You don’t need to be withdrawn and serious all the time.  You have a warmth within you that you feel towards others, but are always so scared to display to them.  It’s okay to let that warmth out and express it more freely.

DECK USED:  TABULA MUNDI IN MINIMA TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What holds me back?

El Gran Tarot Esoterico

Reading Summary: It is a form of emotional immaturity (Page of Cups Rx) to fight against catastrophe (The Tower) instead of just rolling with the punches (Seven of Swords) and allowing them to do what they’re here to do and create a new home and stability in the wake (Four of Swords).

Take Away:  Stop fussing over the shit that might come, or the mess it might make when it arrives.  It solves nothing and simply stalls you out.  The advice here is to instead allow the chaos to come, let it wash over you, and ride it out to the other side.  Have faith in the universe and that everything will balance out in the end.

DECK USED:  EL GRAN TAROT ESOTERICO