tarot self care

Morning Bonus Read – Self Growth

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Cat-Rot Tarot - Self Growth Tarot Spread

Your Past Self – Nine of Pentacles – Once upon a time?  I thought that I had all my ducks in a row and everything in hand.  Back when I was closing myself off to my emotions and working myself into the ground, I really thought I was in a good place.

Your Current Self – Seven of Pentacles – But I soon came to realize that there’s a lot more growth to come and it’s going to take a long ass time to work through. I began to realize that there was a lot more to life than work. I began to realize that I needed to slow down.

Your Higher Self – Three of Swords – I am my best and highest self when I’m able to look beyond my pain and negativity to see the growth and lessons these experiences are offering me. In the moment, this can be difficult, but I know that those lessons are there and I only need to find them and understand them.  It does not take the pain away, but it gives the pain worth.

What Blocks Your Potential – The Devil – Ego. Over confidence. And allowing myself to indulge too deeply in what would otherwise be harmless pursuits. I have an addictive personality, and even though I’m aware of it?  Sometimes it still manages to get its hooks in and take me for a ride I’m not ready for, causing blockages and detours, backsliding and often… recovery as well.

Family Patterns – Six of Pentacles – Being too generous and forgiving with my family.  My father’s abuse.  My mother’s narcissism. Their hurtful behavior is something that has left some serious scars, and yet I can’t manage to hold it against them.  At least not to the extent that would seem reasonable and healthy.

Personal Issues – Four of Pentacles – Overly focused on security and stability.  This is a need that grew from homelessness and severe scarcity. It comes from taking showers in the school locker rooms and sleeping under abandoned cars.  It comes from the instability of couch surfing, and an apartment furnished with car tires, milk crates, and cardboard boxes. It’s my past… and yet something I still struggle with.

Conscience – Ten of Wands – Feeling guilty about slowing down and taking things slower, not doing as much, and not progressing as fast as I’m used to doing. That hard, nose-to-the-grindstone pace that I’ve been pushing myself on for so long has taken its toll and I know it’s time to slow down, but somehow?  There are a lot of times when I feel so fucking guilty about that.  About not doing more and pushing harder.

Desire – Temperance – Less pushing and more time off. More time to connect with my spirituality and path. More time to connect with the world around me.  I have gotten a taste of the slower path and worked through some of my guilt concerning it, and I’ve come to a point where I actually crave more.  This from the man who, just a couple of years ago couldn’t take a couple hours off without going stir-crazy.

Lesson – Wheel of Fortune – Ups and downs happen. It’s part of life. Adapt, and keep moving.

Advice – Page of Swords – Slow down more. Now is the time to indulge in this behavior. Soon enough the holiday rush will start and you will have so much work on your  hands that you’ll be struggling just to keep up.  While things are slow, it’s okay to take time for yourself.  This is a new path, and there’s going to be struggles, but you’re aware of what’s come before and what needs to change.

DECK USED:  CAT-ROT TAROT

Morning Bonus Read – Monthly Key Spread

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The Prince Lenormand - Monthly Key Spread

Key to Your Heart: What will Guide you to make decisions that are aligned with your heart and your truths this month?

Ship – You know that whole proverb that says “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket“?   Yeah… that.  A lot of times, the Ship card is about travel and business, but in this case? It’s about making sure that you’re not screwing yourself (and your business) over by focusing too much in one area.  Even if you’re not diversifying now?  Make sure you have an escape plan for if you need to. In order to adapt and come out on top, this is important.

Anchor: What will ground you in the face of anxiety, stress, overwhelm, and existential dread in general?

Letter – Write.  Write down your thoughts and your feelings, write down your anxieties and worries.  Share them with Gideon.  Fill your blog with them.  Have a big idea that you can’t explore right now? Write those down too.  List making is a good thing this month, expressing yourself through the written word is very much in your forte.  Use these skills to help ground yourself and find balance when things feel out of control.

Star Wand: What accelerates your magic, creativity, and manifestation powers?

Sun – Optimism and positivity. Sometimes I feel corny when I get this response from the cards. But the thing is? It really does work. Does it entirely take away the depression? No. It doesn’t. But it makes the time spent in them not as severe, and it makes the visits into a depression not as long. It provides more energy, and just… makes the days better. What is “it” that I’m talking about? Optimism and positivity. Making the -effort- to try and see the good side of things, including the Card of the Day activity that I do where I ask each day for the cards to provide me with a positive message to carry with me throughout the day and foster perspective. It helps, no matter how corny my inner pessimist says it sounds.

Blessings from the Stars: The Universe has got your back – how will you be supported this month?

Man – Gideon will be a huge influence in your life this month, in supporting you and helping you in working through what comes up. Don’t forget that he’s there for you and don’t shy away from leaning on him when you need to, sharing with him whatever and whenever you want, and trusting him to always have your best interests at heart.

One Trick Up Your Sleeve: A life saving idea or inspiration for any unexpected challenge or difficult moments?

Lily – Take a pause to think things through, and don’t be shy about asking for advice from those with more experience that have time tested wisdom to offer up to you. Crones are called wise women for good reason.

Emergence Pt 1: What is emerging within you / within your reality right now?

Moon – You’re finally starting to come out of the mind fog that you’ve been struggling with through this season. As you do, your curiosity and creativity are beginning to thrive once more, and you’re starting to experience more enjoyment in your artistic endeavors.

Emergence Pt 2: What are you expanding towards?

Tree – Evolution from past to present. Growth that comes from finding connections to the past that will help you flourish rather than wither your roots. It is time to transform those issues that still drive your inner destructive tendencies, and turn them around into something healthy.

DECK USED:  PRINCE LENORMAND ORACLE

Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

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These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Anecdotes Tarot, Wildlife Wisdom Oracle, and Flower Medicine Oracle

Earth – Queen of Pentacles, Bighorn Sheep atop Bear – You are the the steady rock within your home, and the one that others look to for help, advice, and support.  This may end up being far more apparent than usual this week.  Remember to stay grounded and you’ll be able to handle the rest with grace.

Air – Ten of Wands and Dragonfly – Keep an eye on your tendency to put too much on your plate this week (and your tendency to feel guilty when you don’t). It’s important to keep in mind that you are working at changing things, and that might come with a bit of guilt, but it will also help you in finding a better path if you’re mindful of the changes being made as you make them.  Stay tapped in and observant so that you can catch moments when you might be tempted to backslide into old habits instead of moving forward.

Water – Two of Cups and Fox – Enjoy play with Gideon this week.  Get what you can and have fun with it.  Enjoy your time together and use it to explore each other and the stories that you create together.  You need this emotionally and it will help lift you up and bring you a greater level of happiness.

Fire – The Emperor and Salmon – Don’t spend too much time stressing over and worrying about the slump in sales right now.  Just float along and let your focus turn to other things for the time being.  Things are going to pick up eventually and your responsibilities will multiply exponentially.  For now?  Just float along and let your interests go to those things that they’re drawn to for a while longer.

Waning – Daisy (innocence) – Be careful about looking at others and the world with too much naivety.  It’s all well and good to add some optimism and positivity to your outlook, but don’t let it blind you to reality and the dangers out there.

Waxing – Bee Balm (protection from illness) – Start taking your vitamins and drinking your daily tea again.  It made sense to take a break from the tea for a bit while the temperatures were so high, but you need the collagen peptides, and you need your vitamins.

Take Away – The majority of this reading is about taking things easy for a little longer, enjoying what I can and savoring these slow times instead of being uncomfortable with them and anxious about them.

DECKS USED:  ANECDOTES TAROT, WILDLIFE WISDOM ORACLE, FLOWER MEDICINE ORACLE

Morning Bonus Read – Procrastination

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:

Bosch Puzzle Playing CardsWhat have you been putting off/procrastinating?

Jack of Clubs and Three of Diamonds – This was something that the cards have recently brought up.  It has to do with finding enthusiasm and joy in my work instead of looking at it as a chore.

If I want to keep my business running smoothly and moving forward, I need to make sure that I’m connecting with the enthusiasm and joy that running that business can bring.

How is that procrastination impacting you?

Queen of Hearts – It’s allowing me to concentrate on sorting out my emotions.  This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, as growth in my emotional development and learning how to identify and deal with my emotions is something I’m currently working on.   But, it’s important that I don’t get so wrapped up in this process that I close my eyes to the needs of my business and keeping it running smoothly.

How is that procrastination impacting others?

Ace of Hearts – When the business isn’t as profitable as it can be, it impacts more than just myself but also those around me.  We all need the business to work and thrive.

What good things lie in your future related to this activity?

Nine of Hearts – This card is a reminder that things will pick back up.  Both through the eventual re-invigoration of my enthusiasm, and also because now is the slow season and it won’t last forever.  I’m allowed to focus on my emotions for now… the money aspect will come later.

DECK USED:  BOSCH PUZZLE PLAYING CARDS

Transitioning from July to August

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Homebound Tarot and David Wilson's Animal Oracle

Here and Now, I Am – Death and Strategy – In the middle of change and strategizing the way forward. I am in a place where I am prepared to not just adapt, but find a way to flourish.  Logical thinking is necessary.  You can’t just “feel your way forward” in this.  (Details on this change are further explored in the “Relevant Shadows” portion of this reading.)

Leaving Behind – The Fool atop The Lovers, Modest – Hesitation caused by naive concerns about our relationship. Finally letting go of the fear of returning to that place we were in years ago that I struggled with so much.

Focus Forward – The Tower and Ornery – Change. You are stubbornly going to push this change that is shown in the “Here and Now, I Am” position. You know it’s the right thing for you, and anyone that tries to get in your way is going to find themselves confronted with unpleasant backlash.

Negative Influences – Seven of Swords and Unbidden – Pay attention to those that come into your life uninvited and ask shit of you, or try to steal away your time, energy, or resources.

Positive Influences – The Hierophant and Thaw – Work on opening up more to your guides. They are here to help you, teach you, and guide you upon your path.

Relevant Shadows – The Devil atop Two of Cups, Power –  The themes that you explored this month concerning your inner adolescent, and how those scarcity feelings from that area of your life influence your present. This area needs more exploring, for you have the power to deal with it at this time. It is through spending time with this issue and working through it that the changes touched upon in “Here and Now, I Am” will manifest.

Lift From The Past  – The Emperor, Fragile atop Predator – Don’t forget how safe and protected Gideon makes you feel. He is there to support you whenever you are feeling vulnerable and protect you from not just others that might target you, but from your own inner self destructive influences that lurk beneath those times when you are at your most vulnerable.

Future Event to Prevent or Overcome – Six of Cups and Legend – Your mother. Her expectations. Her manipulation through the connection to your childhood.  The visit to see her has been postponed, but it’s coming.  Be ready.

Approaching Opportunity – The Moon Rx and Searching – It’s time to start seeking out those things that make you feel stable and confident. As you build on the change that dominates the lion’s share of this reading, you need to start instilling more of these confidence building things into your life. Look to the “Relevant Shadows” and “Lift From The Past” sections of this reading to find these things. Your opportunity here lies in making peace with your inner adolescent and seeking out Gideon to help you in sorting through this theme.

Message from Spirit World –  Childhood stories are something you need to value as a learning experience.  Don’t lock them up inside and throw away the key.  Seek the lessons they have to teach you in order to defeat the fears and uncertainties that these experiences still spawn.

Message from Mind’s World – When you don’t get enough Gideon goodness in your life, it influences you negatively, allowing your mind to dip too deeply into the harsher side of things and your negative inner dialogue to become stronger.

Message from Known World –  Activities that you enjoy together are fare better for you than time spent alone on your own.  When you’re feeling vulnerable, allow yourself to step under Gideon’s wing.  Don’t retreat into yourself where you are putting yourself more at risk from either outside factors or your own inner demons.

Take Away – Apparently I am in a place to deal with this particular shadow from my inner adolescent, and I need Gideon’s help to sort through my feelings and how to deal with the situation.  When this topic first came up in the monthly challenge, I was surprised at how strongly it resonated.  The reading here indicates that I need to make sure I don’t just “set it aside” now that I’ve touched on it, but actually explore it deeper.

DECKS USED:  HOMEBOUND TAROT AND DAVID WILSON’S ANIMAL ORACLE

Morning Bonus Read – Leo Season

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Leo Season Tarot Reading - Napo Tarot

What is a major theme of Leo Season for me?

The Star – Hope and positivity. Reconnection with your spiritual self and your spiritual practices. It’s time to focus on these things and not worry  so much about what’s coming in the fall.  Enjoy the time you have left this summer and use Leo season to get back in touch with practices that you’ve let slide to the way side (such as your meditation practice and daily devotional).

How will this theme impact me?

Temperance – It will help you in your relationship with moderation, as well as your connection to what lies beyond yourself and your personal sphere.  You can’t expect to sustain that connection without doing the work involved that supports it.  By doing the work, you will reestablish the frayed edges of the connection you’ve been letting deteriorate recently.

How can I play with the world around me?

The Devil – Have some fun, dabble in a bit of mischief, and play devils advocate now and then. Tip people on their ear and make them think about what they’re doing and why they’re doing it.

How can I better express myself?

Ten of Disks Rx – Make sure you’re expressing to others what doesn’t make you happy and what needs to change. You can’t be sunshine and roses all the time.  Sometimes you have to point out the flaws and make sure that shit gets fixed up. Better to air out the dirty laundry than let it molder through inattention.

How can I harmonize my relationship with my ego?

Queen of Disks – Remember to be supportive and nurturing with others. Just like everyone else in the world, you sometimes end up a little too focused on yourself and your won shit and perspectives.  It’s not all about you.

DECK USED:  NAPO TAROT