tarot self care

Don’t Be Such a Bastard

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and focused on our internal dialogue and the language we use.   That is to say, how we talk to ourselves (whether aloud or in our heads).   It went into detail on asking why we would treat ourselves worse than how we treat others.  Are the things you say to yourself something you would ever say to another person?

In my case?  This is a hell no.  I know I’m very hard on myself, extremely judgemental of myself and very confrontational in my language to myself.  This is not how I am with others at all, and yet when it comes to myself… I’m mean as fuck.

The meditation encouraged noticing these times and, when you do, gentling your approach.   It is about being mindful of how you are treating yourself… and it’s something I definitely need to work on.

Today’s draw is (again) a double without a jumper.  In today’s draw we have the 8th card (in some decks this is the 11th card) of the Major Arcana, the Strength card which is represented here by a bee eater bird and a lion.  With the Strength card came the Seven of Pentacles, which in this deck is represented by the peacock.

Like all cards in the Major Arcana, the Strength card deals with the “bigger picture” of one’s life rather than one specific aspect of the human experience.  This card most often represents inner strength rather than outer strength, which includes courage, skills in persuasion and influence, as well as qualities of compassion.   In this deck, the strength card depicts a lion and a bee eater bird, which in the guidebook are described as….

Lion: power, protection, courage, patience, wisdom, and passion Bee Eater Bird: unity, family, tranquility, support, comfort, and balance

The Seven of Pentacles is a representation of progress, sudden leaps ahead, and the unknown in the area of finances, resources and the physical word.  It can also indicate the entrance of spirituality into a situation, and looking beyond the self.    This deck depicts the Seven of Pentacles as a Peacock, which in the guidebook holds the qualities of rebirth, confidence, victory, patience, resilience, and devotion.

Whew… that was a long one for definitions today.

My interpretation of the cards in today’s reading boils down to that I need to spend more time lifting myself up, rather than tearing myself down.  And, in doing so, I will foster more strength within myself and a calmer, more centered outlook concerning not just my family, but the world at large.

It’s a good message, as I have been struggling a bit with being a right bastard to myself lately, and I have a visit coming up with family that will do plenty of that “tearing down” for me.   I don’t need to be so harsh with myself, instead, now is a time to foster my strengths and build myself up for what is coming. (Which, of course, I’m referring to  either visiting those family members out east, or staying here and helping my mother through her surgery, depending on what she decides she wants to happen.)

Deck Used:  The Animism Tarot

 

Pay Attention to Motive

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes in length and focused on the differences between concentration and mindfulness.   Concentration being a laser sharp focus on something, where as mindfulness is more of an awareness of everything in that moment.

I can’t say I really paid that much attention, in fact, I had to re-play the discussion part of it just to remember -what- the focus of the meditation was.  This is because I was having a very good meditation where my focus was turned inward and on the breath.

Sometimes, if I get really into it, the rest of the world melts away and that was the case today.  I find these times to be the most refreshing, actually, so it was really nice to be able to find that headspace for today.

Today’s draw is from the same deck as yesterday (cuz I forgot to switch them out) and came up as the Four of Cups along with a repeat of the Nine of Cups from yesterday.  Neither of these cards were jumpers, as they both came out of the deck together.

The Nine of Cups, as you will remember from yesterday, is a representation of fruition and fulfillment, culmination, and consequences in the area of emotions, relationships, creativity, and intuition.

The Four of Cups is a representation of stability, shelter, ease, taking time to reassess, and stagnancy in the area of emotions, relationships, creativity, and intuition.

I still see the Nine of Cups as a carry over from yesterday.  It clearly is stating to me “don’t get cocky” or overconfident.  The underlying message has changed, though, to the Four of Cups.

Together, these cards are speaking of making sure I’m not reacting (or acting) out of boredom (just as yesterday they were speaking of impulsivity).  Whether bored or feeling impulsive, the cards for both days come with the overlying message that says “don’t get cocky”.  Take my time.  Pay attention.  Put some thought into my decisions and actions before I actually do or say anything.

Very important.

 Deck Used: Visions of Life Tarot

 

And now for a moment of levity.

Z sent this to me today in email and it made me laugh….

 

Moderation Is Not Easy

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and focused on change and the discomfort we feel in moments of uncertainty.  This is, in fact, something that I struggle a great deal with personally, as I’m pretty sure the majority of people do.   It’s very rare that I ever run across people that relish the uncertainty of change.

That said, the meditation’s premise was not that we should be okay with uncertainty and change, so much as that as a part of life, there are things we can do to try and come to peace with it so that we are not quite so uncomfortable in the moment and can adapt more readily.

In the meditation, she likens this to “riding the waves” of change and asks, “what would it be like to loosen our grip. What if we let go of our agenda and allowed ourselves to become, bit by bit, more comfortable with uncertainty.”   The guided meditation goes on to encourage practice letting go in moments when you catch yourself resisting uncertainty and allow yourself to become more comfortable with it so that you can experience change and life with more ease.

But, in my opinion, this would be more like when you are caught in a riptide, rather than being likened to waves. You don’t fight a riptide, as that is how you drown. Instead, you are taught to relax and go with it.  Allow it to happen.   In this way, the water will release its grip sooner and you will find the surface (and air to breathe) more quickly.

Separate analogies aside, I like the premise and agree that trying to go with things rather than fight them can lower stress significantly in day to day life as well as in times of change.

Today’s draw is the Two of Wands (Freedom) and the Nine of Cups (Overconfidence). I’m going to outline the “traditional” meanings for these cards as I always do, but I’ve found that I get a LOT of intuitive interpretations from this deck, so my message doesn’t really fit with the standard meanings of the two cards.   Neither of these cards were jumpers, as they both came out of the deck together.

The Two of Wands is a representation of duality, union, partnerships, and division in the area of one’s ambitions, drive, willpower, and passions.

The Nine of Cups is a representation of fruition and fulfillment, culmination, and consequences in the area of emotions, relationships, creativity, and intuition.

That said, my interpretation of today’s cards was not based upon RWS, or even the words on the cards, but rather an intuitive hit off of the images themselves.

The message of today’s draw is that I need to practice a little caution and restraint in the area of my choices.  Specifically my dietary choices.  The cards are pointing out at it is important that I don’t get cocky with the few “unhealthy” things I’ve been allowing myself lately and think it’s okay to indulge all of the time.  Indulgences are okay, but only in moderation.

Moderation is not really my strong suit, so this is a very good reminder. I have a habit of letting small allowances get out of hand, much like that saying “give an inch, take a mile”.   This is true not just in my relationship with food, but with anything I’m passionate about.  If allowed to do so, I have a feeling excess would be the theme of my existence, and I think this is a part of why I am so strict with myself on so many levels and in so many different areas of my life.

 

Not a Waste

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and ten seconds, and focused entirely upon the breath and the reasons why the breath is so often the focus of meditation practices.

It was very relaxing, and a topic that I’ve never really considered before. I’ve always followed the breath because the breath is how I was taught as a child to to ground myself, and from a very young age I’ve been doing this naturally when I cry. (I have a habit of holding my breath for extended periods when I get really worked up). Later in life it has become how I deal with pain an anxiety (also both in the grounding arena).

This is called Pranayama, which means to control the breath.

In yoga, this practice is used to center your focus upon the present moment. The breath is the epitome of one’s present. It does not exist in the past, nor in the future. Only in the now. So by focusing upon the breath, you focus not just upon yourself and your inner energy, but also upon -this- moment.

This makes the breath very useful in mindfulness and meditation practices, as it assists the mind in staying present instead of wandering off into musings, memories, or daydreams.

Today’s card is the Eight of Pentacles, which is a representation of manifestation, hard work, purpose, determination, and accomplishment in the area of finances, resources, and the physical world.

In the guidebook of today’s deck, the Beaver is then described with the key words of dedication, drive, guidance, success, integrity, and community.

The Eight of Pentacles and diligent beaver have appeared in today’s draw to remind me that even on the days I’m not sitting at my work table, I’m still working.   Today was a driving day, as all Tuesdays and Fridays are.  Sometimes, these days feel like a complete waste of time because I’m not physically working with my hands.

Today’s draw is a reminder that that isn’t true.  The driving days are just as important to my business, and I’m not working any less just because I don’t have tools in my hands.  It’s not a waste of time, it’s just a different aspect of running a business and without it?  There would be no business, and no success.

Deck Used: Animism Tarot

 

Just One Step is Still Progress

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Today’s meditation was 10 minutes and 38 seconds, and focused on how small steps are still progress on the path of one’s journey.  This goes really well with my draw for the day, as you will see below.

Essentially, the meditation was a mindfulness exercise where you acknowledge the small steps that you are taking or have taken, rather than discounting them as not enough.  This is an issue that I deal with a lot, as I am my own worst critic and I have a habit of pushing myself past my limits to get things done.

It is a good reminder, though, that sometimes it’s okay to take things slow.  With the new project I’m working on for the business, this is a good reminder.  Especially considering I’m struggling with the chemical imbalance caused by having missed my meds for a few days last week.

Today’s draw is the Page of Pentacles, which in this deck is titled as “Education”. The Page of Pentacles is a representation of a receptive omega energy, personality , or person in the area of resources, finances, manifestations, and the physical plane. It indicates the beginning of a new cycle upon a path that you already tread.

As mentioned above, this is an apt card for today.  I’ve been running my business for nearly ten years now, so it is a path I have very much been on for a while.  And yet, this new project that I’m working on currently is a “new cycle” of a sort.  It is a new manifestation brought from the realm of ideas into the physical world.

The Page of Pentacles is also here to remind me that this is a learning process, and learning takes time.  So, in other words, don’t push myself so hard I run myself ragged, and don’t be too hard on myself during the learning process.  I’ll get there… it’ll just take some effort and a little time.

Deck Used: Visions of Life Tarot

 

Just Wait

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and focused on vulnerability, and how when we share our vulnerabilities it can help us in accepting our situation and working through our emotions.

The guided meditation provided suggestions on how to open yourself more to others, and allow them in.  Although, I found a bit of amusement in the “sharing candidly” with others thing.  For someone like myself that has issues with socializing, it’s already very difficult to tell where the line is between socially acceptable and/or appropriate for certain situations, and what’s not.   That kind of encouragement, to someone like myself, could turn out pretty horribly wrong.

That said, I did understand what the meditation was trying to say.  They were trying to encourage opening up to be more genuine and allow an opening for others to become less “peripheral” in one’s life.   And, I’m thinking that there -is- some sort of balance that most people learn where this is concerned.  For me, it has always been easier to just hold myself apart, I think.

Today’s card is the 18th card in the Major Arcana, which is the Moon card.  Like all Major Arcana cards, this card deals with a spectrum of one’s experience on their path rather than just a single aspect of the human experience.

The Moon card is a representation of the “murky” times in life (among other things), and that is what I feel the representation is to me.   Going through these last few days where I am feeling the effects of having missed my meds, there is a lot of “murky” in my life right now.  A lot of confusion and distortion, self doubts and self consciousness, and just an all around struggle to keep myself on an even keel.

In the guide for today’s deck, there is a description of the white hare that speaks of confusion and how things may not be as they seem.  It speaks of the hare’s contemplation on whether it wants to dive into this world of the unknown, and about choosing one’s reality.

That is the message that the Moon card brings to me today.  It speaks of patience.  Of waiting.  The moon may be up and the world full of shadows at the moment, but the sunrise will come eventually and things will go back to an even keel once again.

Deck Used: Animism Tarot