tarot self care

Be the Boss…. and The Better Man

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was just over nine minutes long and ended up in me dozing off into a much needed nap.   I know I made it almost to the end, because I remember her talking as I dozed off, and she really only talks at the end in most of the meditations.   But, for the life of me, I couldn’t tell you what the meditation was actually about.   It was obviously quite relaxing, though, as I dropped off to sleep without any difficulty at all.

Dark Mansion Tarot Today’s draw is the Major Arcana’s Empress card, and although this card is not usually read this way, what came to mind when I saw this card this morning was “Be the better man.”   That is to say, taking the high road and moving beyond the behavior of others.

Sometimes, this can be hard, yes?  Although, I have to admit, becoming non-verbal has definitely made it a bit easier.  The fact is that without a voice, it is harder to react, and often feels that it is just not worth my time.  When you have a voice, on the other hand, it’s much easier to “pop off” when provoked.

Traditionally, the Empress is a representation of fertility, nature, and abundance.  She is the “mother nature” card, and represents a regal but nurturing energy that spans the scope of the human experience, rather than referencing any one aspect of it.

Deck Used: Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.

Question: What message does my inner self have for me at this time?

Santa Muerte Tarot Reading Summary: Be the boss (The Emperor), tap into your strengths (Strength card), and do your work (Eight of Pentacles).

Take Away: I think that the cards are pretty self explanatory in this reading.  They definitely jump out at me and are very clear in their message.  With the holiday rush less than a month away now, I’m down to crunch time when it comes to getting ready.   There’s a lot of work involved in the preparation for that time, and the cards are saying that I need to make sure I work hard at being prepared, because the more of the work I can get accomplished now in preparation, the smoother that rush will be once it arrives.

Deck Used: Santa Muerte Tarot

Courage and Encouragement

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was just over twelve minutes long, and focused on how you react to stress.  It was an introductory guided meditation that I’ve started which will run over the next seven days.   The focus of this series of meditations is “Managing Stress”.

Halloween Tarot Today’s draw is the Ace of Bats with the Ten of Ghosts as a jumper.

The Ace of Bats (Swords) is traditionally a card of new inspiration and seeds of beginning in the area of intellect, ideas, thoughts, and communication.  This includes themes concerning breakthroughs, mental clarity, and potential.

The Ten of Ghosts (Cups) is traditionally a card dealing with endings and completion, a cycle reaching its end to begin again, renewals, and regeneration in the area of the emotions, relationships, and intuition.  This card is often known as the “happy family card” and commonly includes themes that have to do with blissful situations, harmony, and alignment with others.

When I saw today’s cards, there was a bit of an easing in my chest, but it wasn’t until I sat down and thought about what  I saw in them that I understand what this is about.   It’s about finding completion… and about that new idea that I’ve been working on lately.  The one that the cards encouraged me to keep silent on and that I have slowly been working on over the past month or two.

I’m very happy with the progress I made over the past couple of days, and what I am finding in these cards is reassurance that I’m on the right path.

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.

Question: What is the root of my courage?

Reading Summary: The past experiences I have gone through (Six of Cups) have been a struggle that may at times steal my tranquility and require adaptation (Seven of Swords with Temperance), but in the end, these experiences are what allow me to grow and become stronger (Queen of Cups).

Take Away: Between the ex… and the ex’s friend.  The aspiring kidnapper of a stalker.  The car crashes and medical issues.   With each of these experiences, something within me breaks.  I am wounded by them.  Not just physically, but emotionally as well.    These experiences steal something from me, a little piece of me removed as if sliced away and spirited into the ether. 

And yet, it’s true what they say.  What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.  I am stronger for all these things.  I am stronger for surviving and choosing not just to survive, but to thrive.  These experience have created deep roots and a solid foundation on which to sit upon my throne.   Is there still more to learn?   Always.   But I am not fumbling in the dark as I may have been without each experience I have come through along the way.

And there you have it.  The root of my courage comes from the experiences I have lived through, and grown from.

Deck Used: Luis Royo’s Labyrinth Tarot

The Mystery Continues

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and I really feel like they’re beating a dead horse lately.  Just saying, but today’s focus was once again upon the journey instead of the destination and how that relates to meditation.

I know it’s a message that lots of people (myself included) need to hear now and then, but it seems like they’re in a little bit of a rut at the moment, because it feels as if all of the meditations recently have been on different ways of phrasing the exact same topic.

Maybe I need to take a break from the guided meditations and try another method for a bit.

Dark Mansion Tarot Today’s draw is the Eight of Cups, which seems to be showing up quite a bit lately.  The Eight of Cups is about walking away, and about taking a new path.  I can’t help but think that this is a continuation on yesterday’s bonus reading, and you hit the nail on the head concerning what was missing from that reading btw.

I don’t know.  The answer to your question about yesterday’s bonus reading is that I don’t know.  But I’m again being prompted to make the choice of releasing myself from something that I’m not just intellectually invested on, but emotionally invested in as well.  The reading yesterday then spoke of returning to it with a new perspective and fresh ideas.

I’m still in the dark, although I think that the cards are definitely -trying- to help me realize what idea I’m hitting a brick wall on.  And the ‘out of sorts’ I’ve been feeling lately indicates that I am indeed hitting a brick wall.   I just need to figure out… on what.

Deck Used: Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.

Question: In what way am I stronger than I realize?

Tarot of the Sweet Twilight Reading Summary: Making positive (The Sun) choices concerning my passions interests (Two of Wands), and mastering the skills necessary to bring those pursuits into reality (Eight of Pentacles).

Take Away:  Sometimes I lose touch with the joy that I feel in the creation of something new.  Something that is uniquely mine. My creation, my passion, my idea… something brought from nothing into reality.  I forget about the joy and the spark sometimes.   The reading today is a reminder of that joy.  My obvious strength is that ability to create, that skill at manifestation…. the hidden talent is in the joy I bring to the process.  It’s sometimes hidden even from me.  And I think it’s time to get back in touch with it again.

Deck Used: Tarot of the Sweet Twilight

Loosen Up

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and I had a very difficult time focusing.  I can’t even really remember what she was talking about in this one, because my mind kept flitting off in different directions and needing to be pulled back in again.   I did stay through the entire ten minutes, though, and repeatedly brought my attention back to the now and my breath each time I caught my mind wandering off in one direction or another.

Halloween Tarot Today’s draw is the Six of Ghosts (Cups) which is a representation of harmony, vitality, and nostalgia in the area of the emotions, intuition, and relationships.

When I saw this card today, my intuition did not see nostalgia, which seems to be the most common interpretation of this card.   Instead, what I see is fun and harmony.

Today’s card is a reminder that things don’t have to be so serious all the time. It’s okay to lighten up and have some fun now and then.

This is something that I often forget.  I get so wrapped up in my goals and responsibilities, that I forget to step back and have a laugh and a lark.

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.  I’ve surprisingly managed to keep this challenge going for twelve days now.

Question: Where may I need to release some control?

Deviant Moon Tarot Reading Summary: When you reach a dead end on an idea (Ten of Swords), sometimes you have to start fresh with a new perspective (The Fool), and work at making better choices the second time around (Two of Wands).

Take Away: When I run across an idea that I’ve reached a dead end on, the releasing of control referenced in the question for the reading has to do with letting go of the tight grip I have on that idea, regrouping with a new perspective, and then trying again from a place of discovery.    This is a process that is very difficult for me.  I hate letting go of ideas I get invested in, but like the an untenable position of the fellow in the box of knives on the first card, sometimes its the only way to progress.

Deck Used: Deviant Moon Tarot (Borderless Edition)

 

Trying to Find the Tracks

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and focused on a topic that comes up quite a lot.   That is the topic of meditation being about the practice, not the accomplishment.

Practice is the key word.  We practice.  We do it.  We work at it.  It is a journey.  And meditation is all about that journey, not some imagined finish line or perfection standard that is both unrealistic and unattainable.

Today’s draw is another double without a jumper, which means that they both came out of the deck together.  In fact?  They were so together that at first I didn’t realize there were two.   The cards in today’s draw are the Six of Cups with the Tower card as a jumper.

Dark Mansion Tarot Lollygagging –> Tower Moments

That is what I see.   And honestly, I feel like this is a repeating message lately.  I’m gearing up for the holiday season, but I’m not feeling the “oomph” that I need to prepare for what’s coming.   I know you say that I am super focused on responsibility and goals, and you’re right…. but there’s something missing.  Some part that I’m not connecting with this year, and it’s hindering my progress.   I need to get past it or figure out what it is and work it out, because I would very much like to avoid that crashing chaotic change that the Tower presents.

And that is what these cards are.  They are a warning.  They are not a prediction so much as an indication of what is needed to keep things on track.

Deck Used: Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt again today.  I’m definitely going to try to do the bonus readings every day (or near to it) for the rest of this month.

Question: What relationship(s) in my life encourage growth?

Ghosts & Spirits Tarot Reading Summary: Those that add a little spice and a sense of adventure into my life (Knight of Wands), offer a sense of security and safety (Four of Pentacles), and touch my heart (Knight of Cups).

Take Away:  It’s sort of funny that I was anticipating a far more specific response from the cards for this.  Instead, it gave me the information I need to look at my relationships with others (everyone from my bosses to my friends and loved ones) and examine each with that criteria in mind.  The answer in these cards doesn’t point to any one person or certain relationships, but rather encourages the evaluation of each relationship to find the qualities within them that… fit. This allows for an interesting perspective that I’m definitely going to be taking forward with me through the near future (or beyond).

Deck Used: Ghosts & Spirits Tarot

Get Motivated

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes, and focused on World Mental Health Day (which is today) and how to be kinder to ourselves, especially when you have mental health problems.

It discussed why people try to hide their mental health illness because of the concern for being rejected by others and be shamed for this weakness.  It addressed seeking acceptance in ourselves for the issues that we have to deal with, in the same way you find acceptance for when you have a cold, or diabetes, or any other medical issue.

The guided meditation encouraged the listener to challenge their self judgements and find a path to a better acceptance of the self and your own personal struggles.

This is something that I had to struggle with early in life.  In fact, I had undiagnosed depression as far back as my early teens or perhaps even earlier than that.  When Z realized what was going on, she advocated with me to my parents, pushing them to allow me to seek treatment, but it wasn’t until I was emancipated at the age of sixteen that I had the freedom to do so for myself.   In my family, mental illness was treated as something to be ashamed of.  A fatal flaw even worse than being gay (which was my father’s main issue with me from childhood on in life).

By accepting that I needed help and going to GET that help, it was clearly understood that I was not just casting shame upon myself, but upon my family as a whole.  Obviously, this is NOT something that bothered me as much as it might have, because I was so far down that rabbit hole with my sexual preferences and independence by that point that what was one more log on the fire, right?   Still, the shame -did- ride me for quite a long time.  Especially the shame of needing medication.

It wasn’t until I found a medication that took away my suicidal thoughts and urges that this shame began to lift.  Because… how can you argue with that benefit, right?  Now, when I see judgement, I advocate.  And I hope that others will learn, as I did, that it’s okay to need a little help.

Halloween Tarot Today’s draw is another double without a jumper, which means that they both came out of the deck together.  The cards in today’s draw are the Emperor card of the Major Arcana, and the King of Bats (Swords).

I know what it’s saying, and I’m just SO resistant to it today.   Silly, I know.  But there you have it.

The message in today’s cards is to “Be the Boss”.   In other words, do your work, do the responsible thing, take charge and get your shit done.   I know it’s supposed to be an energizing and empowering message, but all I really feel like doing today is loafing off.

Unfortunately, that is a luxury for another day if i want to ship out orders tomorrow (which I very much do need and want to do that).

Traditional meanings for the Emperor include dominance and authority, structure, and a projective alpha energy that is instilled into the “big picture”, rather than into one specific aspect of the human experience.

Traditional representation for the King of Bats (Swords) are on the theme of a projective alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of the mind, thought, intellect, communication, and instinct.  This includes themes surrounding mental clarity and intellectual power, as well as (you guessed it) dominance and authority.

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt again today.  I’m definitely going to try to do the bonus readings every day (or near to it) for the rest of this month.

Question: How can I more fully love and accept myself?

Tarot of Haunted House Reading Summary: Set the spark (Ace of Wands) and carry that spark forward (Knight of Wands) into the things that interest and challenge you (King of Swords).  Sometimes it’s okay to need to be alone (intuitive hit off the imagery in the Three of Cups).

Take Away: If I want to more fully love and accept myself, I need to not just respect and take note of those inner sparks of ambition and inspiration, but go after them.  And not just the easy ones, but the ones that really make me work for that sense of accomplishment. Most of the time, these types of projects, aspirations, and ideas require buckling down and focus, which is not something I can do in the company of others.  Alone time is valuable in these pursuits, IF I use it productively.

TL:DR?  Stop using alone time to loaf off, and instead use that time to get to work on the things that spark my ambition and challenge my intellect.

Deck Used: Tarot of Haunted House