tarot self care

Perfectionism

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Today’s meditation was just over twelve minutes long and the last installment of the Managing Stress series.  The focus on today’s guided meditation was about taking a step back and approaching distressing emotions and thoughts as an observer rather than as a participant.

This distancing is something I’m very familiar with and used to work for me quite well.  Over the past few years, though, as you have helped me become more and more in touch with my emotions, I’ve found that I’m not as successful as I used to be at compartmentalizing my emotions and looking at them in a purely objective way.

Sometimes I think that is a bad thing… other times I think it’s a good thing.  Maybe it’s both.

Today’s draw is the King of Ghosts (Cups), which is a representation of a projective alpha energy in the area of emotions, intuition, relationships, and creativity.  This manifests itself in areas of emotional balance and diplomacy, as well as compassion, yet can also portray a depth of inner emotions and come across as moodiness or emotional manipulation.

When  I saw today’s draw this morning, what really stuck out to me was the curl of the king’s arm around the tail of the ghost. Even when the king is looking away in another direction, the ghost is still happy.

The message in today’s card is that sometimes you have to make peace with not having everything perfect.  It’s okay to be happy and celebrate regardless of the fact that perfection is not the result.  Enjoy the imperfections.  Celebrate them.

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.

Question: What is it time to forgive myself for?

Reading Summary:   Passing up potential opportunities (Ace of Pentacles) that could lead somewhere lucrative (King of Pentacles) in pursuit of new ideas and creativity (Ace of Swords and Knight of Cups).

Take Away: Okay so, I have a LOT of ideas… all the time.  As a part of my business I often spread myself too thin because I have so many creative ideas that I want to do and try, and not enough time to do them all.  I then try to do them all, and things get dropped (or delayed) as a result.  I could be focusing more on the business side of things.  On the advertising and drawing in new customers, etc.  Instead my attention is pulled again and again to those new ideas and creative endeavors. 

At times, I am really hard on myself about this, because IF I could just focus on the business side more, then I could probably draw in a good deal more profit. The truth is, though, it would feel more and more like a chore and less and less like a passion… so maybe I shouldn’t be quite so hard on myself about it.

Deck Used: Ghosts & Spirits Tarot

 

Confidence and Perspective Changes

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and focused on how sometimes gifts come in the form of what you shed or release, rather than what you gain, and how that is one of the things about meditation practice that is of great value.

What they mean by this is that the gift that meditation gives you isn’t always an increase in focus or an advancement of some kind, it’s in the releasing of stress and the decrease of anxiety, etc.

I think that this view is a lot like the view that I have of the negative incidents and people in my past.    It’s a “look for the silver lining” approach.   This is not to negate though, as I think it’s a very good point and good practice to get into.  Life is better and there is better perspective within it when you can accept that even the bad things that happen to you have value.

Queen of Wands - Dark Mansion Tarot Today’s draw is the Queen of Wands, which is a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s passions, drive, and ambitions.  This theme portrays itself with independence, confidence, and determination.  The Queen of Wands is ambitious and knows how to get what she wants and go after what she believes is hers.

What I see in today’s card is encouragement.  It’s appearance today is there to boost my self confidence, which wavered a bit when the less-than whisper came during the recent drop.  The Queen of Wands has arrived to remind me that I am strong and passionate, and if they don’t like me?  Fuck’em.

I’ll try to take her message to heart, although I’m not quite far enough out of the post-drop tenderness for it to really sink in at the current moment.

Deck Used: Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.

Question: Where may I need to shake things up?

Tarot of the Sweet Twilight Reading Summary:  I need to look recently occurring new perspectives (Hanged Man) concerning the drop (Eight of Swords) and the emotions that stem from it (Ace of Cups).

Take Away: Ok, so I had a really hard time with this last drop.  Yes it was massive, but it went beyond that, because for the first time in a long time, I completely shut down rather than allowing myself to deal with it.  And honestly?  My perception and feelings about it were different this time too, leaning far more to the negative.   I focused on those negatives rather than on the vulnerability and inner worries and fears, which didn’t help things.

This new perspective isn’t a healthy one, and isn’t healthy for me at all.  This isn’t the first time I’ve drowned so deep, or had such a massive drop afterward.  But I didn’t handle it well at all this time, and I need to look at approaching the drop and the emotions surrounding it from a different mindset in the future so that I don’t go back there again.

Deck Used: Tarot of the Sweet Twilight

Evaluating Timing

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Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and was centered upon using sound as a focus for meditation.  I’m not sure why I was surprised by the effectiveness of this technique, considering how my synesthesia is focused on auditory input, but I was.  What is also surprising, though, is that I really enjoyed it.

Halloween Tarot Today’s draw is a double without a jumper, meaning that both cards dropped out together.  The cards in today’s draw are the Moon and the Sun cards.   This is surprising, as this deck is VERY thoroughly shuffled, and yet they popped out together regardless of that fact.  (The Moon and The Sun are cards are the 18th and 19th card, respectively, in the Major Arcana.)

The message that comes across in these cards and how they landed is that there is always an end to troubled times.  It’s like that old Charles Strouse/Martin Charnin song for the play Annie, yeah?  Corny, I know… but that’s exactly what popped into my head when I saw these two cards land on the table.

In the tarot, the Moon card is traditionally a representation of illusion, fear of the unknown (and the unknown in general), intuition and the subconscious, and a temptation to retreat from the unknown to a place of safety.    The Sun, on the other hand, is a representation of positivity and lightheartedness, that ‘inner child’ spark, warmth, vitality, and success.

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.

Question: How can I improve my relationship with my shadow self?  (Fitting for what we have been discussing, and I might visit this reading more in depth on next Wednesday’s shadow post.)

Trick-or-Tarot DeckReading Summary:   Walk away (Eight of Cups), reevaluate (Adjustment/Justice), and come back stronger (King of Pentacles).   These cards echo the same pattern as the read on the positivity cards above, and it creates a feeling of reinforcement in what I’m seeing here.

Take Away: What I’m reading here is that starting this right before the holiday rush might not be the best idea.  If I wait, and take this time over the rush to evaluate my plan and look at different paths to my goal, then once the holiday rush is over and I am on the other side of it, I will be in a better and stronger place to do the shadow work safely.  

Deck Used: Trick-or-Tarot Deck

Surrender and Change

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Today’s meditation was just over twelve minutes long and focused on surrendering to change.  That is to say, not fighting against it but allowing it to take you along and flowing with it, and thus reducing stress through an attitude of acceptance and surrender.

World Card - Dark Mansion Tarot Today’s draw is The World card of the Major Arcana, meaning that it deals with an overall picture rather than one specific facet of the human experience.

The World card represents completion and the ending of a cycle as well as the movement of stepping through the end of a cycle into the next.   The World Card also holds within it the representation of one’s ascension from one level of development on to the next.

The message in today’s card is an echo of the meditation I did this morning.  That is to say, to not fight change.   Change is the birthplace of learning and growth.  Without it, the world sits stagnant.   But, when you relax into change instead of fighting it, you move forward and, along the way you “level up” in your growth.

Deck Used: Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.

Question: How can I bring more balance into my life?

Tarot of Haunted House Reading Summary: Surrender is again in the theme for this reading as well, with mention of surrendering (Ten of Swords) to a new way of experiencing my emotions (Ace of Cups), and making wise choices (intuitive hit off the imagery of the Seven of Pentacles) that will foster sustainable growth (also Seven of Pentacles) and stability in the area of my finances and resources (Four of Pentacles).

And can I just say?  I really love the imagery in this deck.

Take Away:  With the shadow work I’m beginning and all of the drowns and closeness lately, I feel more open and tender lately, which is very difficult for me not to fight against.  This openness leaves me a bit more vulnerable to my worries concerning my finances and stability, but if I stay on track in saving the money I need to get saved for the financial obligations I have coming up at the end of the year, my worries will ease up and everything will be fine.

Deck Used: Tarot of Haunted House

You Can Do It

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Today’s meditation was just under four minutes long because I could NOT manage to stay still and allow myself to relax this morning.  I will give it another go before bed for the regular ten minutes or so.

Halloween Tarot Today’s draw was a double without a jumper, which is to say that both cards came out together as one.   The cards in today’s draw are the Five of Pumpkins (Pentacles) and the Magician card.

The message in these cards jumped out at me and has to do with what we spoke about last night.  It has to do with the shadow work that you’ve asked me to begin and I am in the process of creating a plan for.

What the cards are saying is that I have the tools to do this. Starting a project like this holds a lot of self consciousness and self doubt, which is natural. It’s going to be difficult, possibly painful, and I’m going to need help, but the knowledge and the tools to work on it are well in hand.

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.

Question: How can I be more adaptable?

Skele-Tarot Reading Summary: I need to be kinder to myself (The Empress) and allow myself to celebrate (Four of Wands) my accomplishments (Queen of Pentacles) instead of always pushing to go go go (Eight of Wands)

Take Away:  This message is about my motivations and my drive.  In this area, I am very harsh with myself and unrelenting.  I want to do more.. more… more.  This is an area where I could be well served to be more adaptable and allow myself some more space, gentle nurturing, and acceptance of my accomplishments and limitations rather than constantly pushing forward like a runaway horse with blinders on.

Deck Used: Skele-Tarot

 

Aces, Aces Everywhere

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and was not a guided meditation.  Instead, I did a body scan to some quiet music to follow along.  Although not as perfect (for me) for meditation as the background music in the meditation app, it was very soothing and relaxing.

Ace of Pentacles - Dark Mansion Tarot Today’s draw is the Ace of Pentacles, which is a representation of seeds of potential, new beginnings, and opportunity in the area of resources, manifestation, finances, and the physical world.

The message that I get from the appearance of this card today is that its important to pay attention and watch out for the appearance of these things.  If you’re not paying attention, these sparks of new opportunity can pass you by.  Sometimes seedlings break free from the seed and stretch up for the light only to be trampled by a careless boot.

Don’t be the careless boot.

Deck Used: Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.

Question: What is transforming for me at this time?

Twisted Tarot TalesReading Summary: This is all about my passions (Wands).  It’s about finding the places within my passions and ambitions where I am struggling (Nine of Wands), sorting through what they entail and finding what holds value and what doesn’t (Judgement), and then moving forward with renewed passion in a new direction with what’s not been discarded (Ace of Wands).

Take Away:  What is transforming for me at this time is that over the week while I’m supposed to be taking the time to rest and prepare, it is going to give me time to “switch gears” essentially.  It will allow me to return with vigor for the busy time to come.

Deck Used: Twisted Tarot Tales