tarot of the hidden realm

The Growth of Appreciation

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IMG_2837Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and was focused upon closure and how important it is to helping each other heal from endings, especially painful endings.

This topic isn’t just about romantic relationships, but all sorts of relationships from friendships to family, and the passing of loved ones.   I had a hard time finding closure where my father was concerned.  I still sometimes have a hard time with it.  Maybe because I have a hard time understanding how I could love someone who could treat me as atrociously as he did.  And yet… I did love him.   I do love him.

In the end, I had to reconcile that as much as I love him… I never liked him, and never will.  It would have been nice to find closure, and it would have made the road easier to tread, I think.  I wish it could be possible more often… for me and for everyone.

Nine of Cups - Tarot of the Hidden RealmToday’s draw is Nine of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of contentment and satisfaction in the area of one’s emotions, relationships, and creativity.

What I see in this card, though, is more than that.  It’s about the journey.  The man in the card’s imagery looks into the cup and appears both contemplative and content.  This brings to mind that sometimes you have to look back at where you come from to see clearly where you are now.

Emotionally speaking, as the Cups so often represent, those looks back can sometimes be difficult for me.  But in doing so, I learn to appreciate the strength gained from the past, the experience earned, and understanding I have developed through the tests and trials that have gotten me to where I now am.

Those moments looking back also give me the opportunity to appreciate just how much better things are now.  No matter how ambitious I am to push forward into something even better?  Compared to where I come from… I have things damn good right here and now.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE HIDDEN REALM

#TarotForGrowthFebruary Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I approach my relationships mindfully moving forward?

Stretch Tarot

Reading Summary: Don’t allow my all encompassing obsession (The Devil) with worm and my business (Three of Pentacles) to push people away (Eight of Cups).

Take Away:  I think that I probably do this a lot without even realizing I’m doing it, or without others even realizing that I’ve done it, possibly, as well.   I’ve been running my business for a long time now.  A decade, I think?  And it does take over a huge part of my attention and focus.  I imagine that this is very difficult to deal with for those in my life that crave my attention.

DECK USED:  STRETCH TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsFeb2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Do Spread #4

Oriens Tarot

Reading Summary: A ladies man (Knight of Cups) who constantly works to adapt and learn in order to further his career (Page of Wands) and has a way of charming all in his path (King of Cups).

Take Away:  George Clooney 

DECK USED:  ORIENS TAROT

Owl and Bones February Two Card Challenge
Question: Intention for the next 4 years / Leap forward

Button Soup TarotIntentions for the Next 4 Years:  I am in pursuit of happiness. I think this is true for pretty much everyone tho.  The card also speaks to me about finding pleasure in community.

Leap Forward: I’m going to need to address unhealthy habits sooner rather than later. I had fast food today for the fourth time in the past six years.  That is not one of my unhealthy habits… but I have plenty of others to take heed of and take more care with.

DECK USED:  BUTTON SOUP TAROT

Stay On Target

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Today’s meditation was just over fifteen minutes long and tacked into the tail end of my yoga and physio exercises.   I used the time to do some extra stretches with my hip as I’ve had a lot of stiffness there lately, but also to focus on breathing exercises.

Briefly, during the meditation, I had a really nice moment where the anxiety that’s been riding me the past week or two eased up a bit.   Like the knot relaxed, if just for a moment.

Eight of Wands - Tarot of the Hidden RealmToday’s draw is the Eight of Wands, which is generally a representation of movement, fast paced change, and alacrity as well as honed focus.

What I see in today’s card is an order to stay focused.   Today is your birthday, and I want to make sure I have time to spend with you so you can open your gifts, and so that we can hopefully get a bit of play in as well.   In order to do that, I need to stay focused and get my work done early so that I have that extra time to give.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE HIDDEN REALM

#TarotForGrowthFebruary Challenge Prompt
Question: What is my relationship with rest?

Hush Tarot

Reading Summary:  Reading based off intuitive hits from the imagery rather than traditional card meanings.  I know what I need to do (Ace of Pentacles), but I’m all tangled up (Five of Spears) because I’m too busy trying to get somewhere (Wheel of Fortune).

Take Away:  The dove has the key to what I need to do, she rests and offers that knowledge, but the snakes make it clear that I’m being blocked by an tangle of distraction as I try to move forward like the ant floating on the leaf.  Essentially, my goals and aspirations are constantly pushing me forward and blocking my ability to rest effectively.

DECK USED:  HUSH TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsFeb2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is the best and worst thing about getting older?

Hide TarotBest thing about getting older : Finding security both in yourself and your situation. Although not everyone finds financial security later in life, what they do find is a stability and knowledge in who they are and where they’ve been.  This creates a foundation and sense of inner security that youth haven’t yet discovered as they haven’t yet fully explored themselves and their potential yet.

Worst thing about getting older : Looking back on the past and all those things you wish you’d done.  Getting older has a lot of regrets, and if not regrets?  Lost opportunities.  We all have them, and this card indicates one of the worst things about getting older is looking back on those lost opportunities and letting your mind meander down the “what ifs” of if you had just done this or that.

DECK USED:  HIDE TAROT

Owl and Bones February Two Card Challenge
Question: Brag / Be Humble

Tarot of the Lucid SlumberBrag : The unique shit that I’ve done in life that make it a life worth living.  Maybe because I started off on my own so much earlier than most of my generation, I’ve had a lot of experiences  along the way that are helpful in giving others hope for getting through their own struggles.   These experiences aren’t always pleasant, but they are still adventures of one sort or another… and have made me who I am.  Sharing them, and my triumph over them, helps me in helping others.

Be Humble :  The nefarious shit that I probably shouldn’t have done, but turned out okay regardless.  I have a very honed moral compass, and a very eclectically unique code of ethics… that said?  I was dumb and young once too, no matter how early I matured.  I did the wrong thing from time to time, I fucked up from time to time… I did things that I look back on and am sad about from time to time too.   These lapses in judgement are moments I need to keep to myself, regardless of how much they may have assisted me in my own growth and in becoming the man that I am now.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LUCID SLUMBER

Stability… and Shifting Focus

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, but I had a hard time focusing today because I was dealing with some banking issues that got in the way.   The meditation today was tacked on to the tail end of my yoga/physiotherapy, which was really needed.

I actually sort of feel as if I haven’t meditated today, even though I did, and I will do another session before bed tonight as well.

Four of Pentacles - Tarot of the Hidden RealmToday’s draw is the Four of Pentacles, which combined with the imagery in this card speaks to me of protection and stability.

Older generations always speak about how important it is to put money away and save for the future, and that is what I see here.   I see a preparation and protection of one’s future and the future of what is important to you.

Just recently I upped my contributions to my IRA (individual retirement account), as I am already paying the absolute max payment that I can per month on my mortgage.  I don’t want to blow all of my money, but want to make sure that I have cushions in place for when I need them, including a larger one for when I just can’t keep up with the pace I’ve set for myself over the past fifteen years.

I see the appearance of this card as confirmation that I’m making the right choices in this area for the time being, and encouragement that I’m heading in the right direction.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE HIDDEN REALM

#TarotForGrowthFebruary Challenge Prompt
Question: What is my relationship with productivity?

Regretsy Tarot

Reading Summary:  Even though I’m getting a good deal done (Four of WTF), I’m struggling with acknowledging my ingenuity and progress (3 of Tools) which is blocking me from moving forward and leaving behind the negativity of the last few months in exchange for new adventures (April’s Army).  Because of this, I’m feeling a disconnect with the joy in my creative process (The Owl and the Octopus).

Take Away: This is a topic we’ve touched on a couple of times lately (including today) in an effort to pull me back into finding my sense of balance after the mess from the letter and the fear it manifested in me.   I’ve been especially dismissive of my own skills and abilities lately, especially in relation to my creativity and my business.   I know this, I’m just struggling with moving past it.

DECK USED:  REGRETSY TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsFeb2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Who in my life needs extra attention at this time?

Lion's Gateway Tarot

Reading Summary: I need to keep an eye out for those in my life that are feeling a lack of focus (Knight of Swords) and hesitating to move forward (Hanged man).  When I spot them avoiding connecting with the path forward (Two of Wands) it will be important to step in and offer them a guiding light and a bit of hope (The Star).

Take Away:  These cards indicate that I need to stop focusing so hard on my own problems and pay more attention to those around me that may also be going through their own struggles.  I’ve had my own issues with self worth lately, but the cards suggest that if I want to dig myself out of my own hole?  I will be able to do that by helping those around me that are struggling in finding their own footing on their own paths.

DECK USED:  LION’S GATEWAY TAROT

Owl and Bones February Two Card Challenge
Question: Let it go / Care Bear Stare

Dishonored TarotLet It Go : Step away from unkind thoughts…

Care Bear Stare :  …and into the spirit of generosity.

Take Away:  This is a reiteration of the reading today from the Tarotholics prompt.  It speaks about moving away from being a dick to myself and using helping others to bolster my own spirit and inner strength.

DECK USED:  DISHONORED TAROT

 

Take Your Time

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Today’s meditation was supposed to be twenty minutes long, but I ended up dozing off in the middle of it and it turned into a nearly three hour nap instead.   I’ll give it another go before sleep tonight.  I’m pretty sure I got at least ten minutes in, but I can’t be positive.  A second practice before bed won’t hurt anything.

Four of Swords - Tarot of the Hidden RealmToday’s draw is the Four of Swords, which is about rest and recuperation.

What I see in this card is the value of taking time to sit and think.  Not just the value of rest and recuperation, but in allowing your mind to roam and restore.  The allowance to mull things over and let time slide by as you do so, rather than demanding the answers now and pushing forward, always forward.

I’m always pushing forward, but today I took some time for myself.  I relaxed and watched some tv.  I meditated, and napped a bit more than I’d planned.   I loused about and played games on my phone.   Most of these things are not things I allow myself all that often, or at least I don’t openly allow myself to accept them without recriminations.   Today, though, I gave myself these small pleasures and did my best to not put myself down for them or the time spent with them.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE HIDDEN REALM

#TarotForGrowthFebruary Challenge Prompt
Question: What is my current relationship with creativity?

Circle of Life Tarot

Reading Summary:  Stagnant (Hermit) due to a waffling on choices (Two of Swords) has left me feeling a bit apathetic and unable to see the good/joy of creativity (Five of Cups), which is swiftly (Eight of Wands) spiraling me down into feelings of scarcity (Five of Pentacles).

Take Away:  Usually, my creativity is very free flowing and constantly pushing through me like an inner light.   Since my issues with that letter came in, and the self doubt that letter and the fear it created sparked up in me, my creativity has been very much blocked, though.  It feels heavy and I’m struggling with it a bit, to be honest.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE OF LIFE TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsFeb2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do I need to focus on for self-care for this new moon?

Dame Darcy's Queen Alice Tarot

Reading Summary: Now is the time to go for it (Knight of Wands) concerning those new ideas I have (Ace of Swords) about my financial portfolio and establishing more solid financial footing (King of Pentacles).

Take Away: There’s some taxes stuff I’ve been putting off and a few ideas I’ve had for directing money in a different direction, but I’ve been putting it off as it hasn’t felt like the right time.  From these cards, it sounds like now is the time and I should hop to it.

DECK USED:  DAME DARCY’S QUEEN ALICE TAROT

Owl and Bones February Two Card Challenge
Question: Wash Away / Invigorate

Prisma Visions Tarot v5Wash Away :  It’s time to wash away the energies of winter that have been dragging me down and holding me back.  These energies didn’t serve me then and are not serving me now, it’s time to allow a fresh clean breeze to blow through and clear them out.

Invigorate :  Invigorate the industrious energies of spring. It’s time to start moving forward instead of wallowing in stagnation.

DECK USED:  PRISMA VISIONS TAROT V5

 

Ride It Out Instead of Fighting

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IMG_2713Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and was focused upon worrying and how it can so often be a useless endeavor.   I see worry spiral out of control all the time.  Somehow, I seem to attract people that have a worrier’s mind.  They pick up a worry like it’s a tiny little seed, and in their mind it takes root and grows like an invasive species until it fills up every nook and cranny of their minds.

This type of worry isn’t helpful, although some of those “what ifs” can come in helpful in preparing for the unknown.   But what it really does is raise anxiety and work the person up to the point that they can’t sleep and can’t get their mind onto anything else.

I have to admit, though… my own habit of ignoring issues is also not good.  The key is to find a happy medium.

Five of Wands and Six of Wands - Tarot of the Hidden RealmToday’s draw is a double without a jumper, which means that both cards came out together as one.  The cards in today’s draw are the Five of Wands and the Six of Wands (and, yes, this deck is very, very thoroughly shuffled).

What I see here in the cards is that sometimes you have to surrender to the chaos.   I don’t really do “chaos” all that well.  Change?  Sure… it’s difficult but I’m okay with riding it out.  Chaos, on the other hand…. I do not ride out very well.  It causes a lot of stress and anxiety and is just all around unpleasant.

BUT… it happens.  It may actually even be necessary for human development and progress.  I just need to remember that when it comes calling, not to fight so hard against it.  It’s natural… it’s temporary… and it’ll be okay.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE HIDDEN REALM

#TarotForGrowthFebruary Challenge Prompt
Question: What is my relationship with my work?

Oriens Tarot

Reading Summary: When I look at this spread, I see an undercurrent of the depths of the sea within the cards on either side, and the lifting up and surfacing of the center cards as being on a layer above.    Lower layer is cold, hard sea…. upper layer (center cards) is the rising to the surface and the light.

In juggling responsibilities (Two of Pentacles) and that inner spark of new inspirations (Ace of Wands),  I am working on rising above and letting go (Eight of Cups) of  what isn’t working and is holding me back from my aspirations (Ten of Pentacles Rx).

DECK USED:  ORIENS TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsFeb2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is one of my least positive qualities?

Britt's Third Eye Tarot

Reading Summary: I’m a bastard about telling myself that I’m not doing well enough and or not contributing enough.  These cards are in reference to my self-judgement (Judgement) of my performance and abilities (Knight of Swords), and my inability to ever accept that I’m doing enough (Four of Pentacles).

Take Away: Accurate.  I’m actively working on being more accepting of myself and the products of my skills and abilities, and yet.. I am very much my own worst critic.  The cards are calling me out on this specifically in relation to my work and the product of my work.

DECK USED:  BRITT’S THIRD EYE TAROT

Owl and Bones February Two Card Challenge
Question: Elevate this / Calm the fuck down here

The Hide TarotElevate This :  This card speaks of playing to my strengths concerning helping others.  This is something that brings me a lot of enjoyment and a great deal of pleasure.  I like helping others find what’s right for them, and helping them find their path.   This card speaks to that ability, and my enjoyment of it.

Calm the fuck down here :  Ease up on myself concerning my accomplishments.  The cards have told me this a lot lately, but I need to accept that I don’t have to do everything at once, and nothing requires being done right this instant.  It’s okay to take my time and take things slow.

DECK USED:  HIDE TAROT

The Long View

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s been kind of a clusterfuck of a day, and I haven’t managed to meditate yet, although I did give it a couple of tries throughout the day.   I will try for it again when I go to bed here in a bit.

Seven of Pentacles - Tarot of the Hidden RealmToday’s draw is the Seven of Pentacles, which I felt was pretty fitting for today considering the drama that went on (and has been going on over the last few days) on the Discord server.

The appearance of the Seven of Pentacles is to remember to take the “long view” of the situation and the community as a whole.   Yes, there’s drama right now… but it’s temporary.   The building and maintaining of a community is more than just a moment or a few days.  It’s built over time and adaptation and it’s a learning process.   Over time, that community grows and evolves, develops and strengthens.  Part of that process is the times of drama and difficulty.

The card is a reminder that the drama is temporary, and the focus needs to lie on what’s ahead and what is being built, instead of getting too wrapped up in the moment.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE HIDDEN REALM

#TarotForGrowthFebruary Challenge Prompt
Question: What is my relationship with the present?

Hush Tarot

Reading Summary: There is a resistance to change going on (Six of Swords), and although I’m longing inner happiness and trying to find the path to seeking it (Nine of Cups, I’m having trouble letting go and it’s making moving on a struggle (Five of Cups). I might need to look at balancing the negatives and positives of the moment, rather than trying to overcome the negatives involved (Two of Pentacles).

Take Away:  The reading is about roadblocks and hurdles.  It’s about struggling to find a way forward and having trouble with moving forward. I’m still feeling quite stuck, even after identifying the fear issue.  That struggle is reflected in the cards, along with the suggestion of a different perspective concerning it (ie: balance as opposed to trying to overcome).

DECK USED:  HUSH TAROT