Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Tarot Leaves, Supra Oracle, Tea Leaf Fortune Cards, Tree of Life Oracle

A note on the use of the Supra Oracle in this spread.  I do not have the guide book for this oracle, and thus all meanings interpreted from these cards are entirely through intuitive interpretation alone.

EarthFive of Cups, Bridge, Fire – You may feel a bit strapped for cash this week, but keep in mind that this is perception and not reality.  Overcoming this perception will require leaning into your passions and focusing on the things you enjoy instead of on where you feel things are lacking.  Redirect your attention away from where your feelings of scarcity are originating, and everything will fall into place.

AirHanged Man, Hat, Earth – A new role and a different perspective are awaiting you this week.  Make sure you are grounding regularly and meditating daily in order to help give you a solid foundation, so that the newness of it all doesn’t set you off-kilter. Take your time with digesting things and you’ll be fine.

WaterPage of Swords, Ear, Individuation – The message here in the position of emotions is to listen to what others say and take the time to learn from what they say and adopt for yourself what works for you.  It’s essentially saying “take what resonates, and discard the rest”.

Gideon and I have been talking a lot about my emotions lately as I struggle to understand how I can carry my growth forward into the busy season ahead.  The message here is to go over my notes, suss out that stuff that resonates with me, and absorb this wisdom so that I can use it to make a positive difference in how I handle things later this year.

FireJudgement, Eye, Voided Block – Don’t worry so much or judge yourself so harshly concerning what you’re not doing and the procrastination you have going on right now.  That black hole of hesitation won’t last forever.  When the time is right to move forward with preparations and dive in with both feet? You’ll know.

WaningFamily – The family card in this instance indicates that I will be moving away from a feeling of connection and unity with the world around me. This could indicate a need for introspection, or that I need to bear down and focus on my own shit for the week.

WaxingBranches Fallen – Echoing the moving away from connection to others comes a need to start pruning my own “garden”.  It’s time to take stock of my responsibilities and good fortune, and weed out those things that are no longer needed or not working for me at this time.

Don’t be afraid to remove anything not working for you at this time that has the possible potential of working for you later on. Remember that those things you prune away and discard have the potential to grow back better and stronger in the future if given the time to do so.

Take Away – Don’t worry so much about the preparation for the holiday rush and stop beating yourself up for procrastinating on getting shit done. Take this week to work through processing some of the things that Gideon and you have discussed and internalizing them, while letting go of some of the baggage that is tying my hands and holding me back.


The World Won’t End

Today’s meditation was unfortunately interrupted by the call from the technician that came by to fix out internet.   Instead of finishing, I got up to discover that my webhost was also offline, and thus I had to get on the phone with them as well.   I had planned to try again after the technician left, but first  I was on the phone with the webhost for at least an hour (on hold… the fix took like 6 minutes).  Then the technician was here for a couple hours or more.   And then once he left, I discovered that the guy had accidentally ripped the wall shelf out of the wall that holds the modem and had to remount that, then re-configure the security camera… and on the whole it was just a clusterfuck and I didn’t manage to get my meditation in after all.  SO… I will try to do that tonight before bed.

Hush Tarot - Eight of WandsToday’s draw is the Eight of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of movement and fast paced action.  It’s about movement and decisive action that carries you forward.

That traditional meaning for the Eight of Wands makes the imagery of the card in this deck very interesting.  For, in this imagery, you see a woman in repose.  A break taken, rest to be had…. and yet look at all of the surroundings in which she rests.  It is busy.  Bees are busy building their nest, ants explore her skin.  Weeds and plants both sprout up and grow tall and strong, supporting a restless gathering of birds above, and among those weeds and earthen rocks, Fae ponies dance.

She may be resting… but life continues to march on.   And that is the message I see in the imagery of this card today. 

The message is that you don’t have to poke and prod and push 24/7, always on the ball and always pushing and shoving to keep things moving.  Life keeps moving, even when you step aside to take a little break and a bit of a rest.  Stop worrying so much that when you take your self-care time and those little rests you need, that everything is going to fall apart because you are not currently at the helm with both hands on the wheel.


#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
: What’s shaking my confidence?

Tarot Leaves

Reading Summary: I worry that the actions have taken (King of Swords) against my mother (Queen of Swords) are going to come back and bite me in the ass somehow (Justice).

Take Away:  This was actually a really surprising reply to the question.  Not that it’s inaccurate, because it is definitely true.  Just that… it wasn’t where I thought the cards would go.

It is true that I have some confidence issues when it comes to my mother at the moment.  Although the guilt over my stunt in February has faded away, there remains this feeling that things are not finished in that arena, just on hold due to the pandemic.  They won’t be on hold forever, and like I mentioned in one of my readings yesterday?  That pendulum always has to swing back eventually.


#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
: Do Spread #2

El Goliath Tarot 2nd EditionWolfAce of Swords – In order to encourage strength and bravery for the hurdles yet to come this fall, I need to make sure that I am capable of approaching these hurdles and challenges with a clear head.  This means making sure I get the rest I need and do what needs done to keep my brain from becoming fogged up and clouded.

OwlKing of Swords – To better trust my perception of the world and others, I need to learn that seeing with clarity is not enough.  You also have to act upon what you see in a way that is good for all involved.  It’s about lack of hesitation and incorporating those perceptions into my response rather than holding them apart and separate.

StagEight of Swords – In my life, greater dignity can create a stronger sense of integrity by making sure that I am not covering my eyes or looking at things through “colored glasses”.  While being oblivious can sometimes have its benefits, when your eyes are open and you know what’s going on around you, it assists in moving through struggles and obstacles with grace… and allowing others to trust your guidance in doing the same.

Blackbird Three of Swords and Page of Pentacles – In order to increase my motivation, I need to direct my focus toward putting my disappointments to work for me.  Even failures have redeeming qualities to them and provide us from a chance to learn and grow.  Take a look at these moments and seek out what transformative views are available through the lens of what has happened, then use this knowledge as cobblestones within your path forward.

EagleQueen of Pentacles and Five of Wands – Good and successful leadership requires a modicum of grace because it is through tripping over the thorns and feeling their bite that we develop the empathy needed to lead others well.  Without empathy, there is no connection with those you lead.  Without that connection, there is no way to know what they need and come to an understanding of the best path for the greatest good.

SalmonSix of Pentacles – I have been moving by instinct without realizing it in the direction of balance and fairness.  The thing is?  I do realize it… just not all the time.  My moral compass requires balance and fairness.  It demands it from me and from the world around me.  I move in that direction without thought, and am only aware of it occasionally from time to time.

Wild GooseAce of Cups – Emotions are something that I am “stretching into” at the moment.  For a long time they felt like they “didn’t fit” and I struggled with connecting with others on an emotional level, because I wasn’t able to connect to myself on an emotional level.  As I have become older, I’ve grown to realize the value of emotions and how precious the establishment of that emotional connection can be in building long lasting, positive friendships and relationships. This is something I wasn’t conscious of before, but have learned through trial and error along the way.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: When do I trust myself?

Telluric Tarot

The TowerLibyan Desert Glass and Fire Lily – What connects the Fire Lily to Libyan Desert Glass is heat and destruction. One is created in the radioactive heat of a meteorite hitting desert sands… the other thrives in the ashes in the aftermath of fire’s consumption. Both are breathtaking results from catastrophically destructive events.  Many good things can come from chaos and destruction, you just have to wait for the chaos to end and the dust to settle to see what’s there waiting for you in the aftermath.

Five of Swords Cinnabar and Blackthorn – Blackthorn is extremely sour, and is protected by long sharp thorns.  Cinnabar is a dangerous mineral due to it’s high mercury content, and yet the vibrant color has been a draw to humanity for centuries both as an ornamental stone as well as ground into powder as a dye. Sometimes people do stupid things in pursuit of the things that spark their interests and passions… like wearing mercury rich stones or risking the long reach of sharp thorns to pick oh-so-appealing fruit that is then discovered to be oh-so-very sour.

The MagicianPolybasite and Dogwood – Both Polybasite and Dogwood are known for their value in versatility.  One is a wealth of alchemical elements, the other a wealth of potential to create an array of different tools, furniture, decorations, and even instruments. Add to this that the meaning of the dogwood flower is that of rebirth, and what you have depicted in this card is a wealth of resources and skillful adaptability.

Take Away – During times of chaos and conflict, I can find myself frozen.  This holding pattern can be full of uncertainty, but once that chaos has come to an end and the conflict has settled?  It is like the starting shot to get me going.  In the aftermath of these events, I know exactly what I want and where I want to go, and I am ready to forge a path and rebuild, eager to move forward, and trust myself and the direction my instincts and intuition take me in implicitly.


Willpower and Resourcefulness

IMG_6221Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and was a yoga nidra meditation with interval timer. It was a guided meditation, and based on moving one’s consciousness and awareness through the body slowly starting at the head and moving to the toes.  At each part of the body you stop and pause, acknowledge the sensations present and breathe into that area, then exhale and move on to the next. 

I’ve mentioned before that nidra meditations are my absolute favorite.  I love the amount of relaxation I can get from following the process from one part of the body to another in this manner.

The actual focus of the nidra in this particular guided meditation had to do with acknowledgement of sensation.  Sometimes, when we are looking for sensation, we forget about all the sensations we’re experiencing.  It’s easy, when say… focused on your arm.  To focus there and say “no, I don’t feel anything” because the muscle isn’t sore and there’s no pain or discomfort.  But that doesn’t mean that sensation it’s present.  There’s the sensation of cloth touching flesh, of air currents on skin, etc.  These are also just as much sensation as a tickle, pinch, or pain.  

The key being that when we let go of the expectation of what we should be looking for or are supposed to feel, it frees us up to experiencing what’s actually there in the moment.

Botan Tarot - The MagicianToday’s draw is the Magician, which is traditionally a representation of having all the “tools”, skills, abilities, and knowledge to do what needs doing.  The Magician is knowledgeable, resourceful, and capable, and it is these energies and qualities that are brought into play when this card makes an appearance.

What really stands out to me this card is that keen gaze.  You would think that it would be the tattoos that draw my eyes, and yet that is not where my gaze is drawn when I see this card today.  It’s all about the eyes. They feel clever and cunning and knowledgeable, grounded.  Prepared.  He is the Eagle Scout of the tattoo’d hotties, looking out at me as if to say “you know the answer”.

And that’s the message in today’s card.  I know the answer.  **I** am capable, knowledgeable, grounded, resourceful, and clever.  **I** am more than able to take on the world and bend it to my will, or adapt as needed when bending things my way is not an option.  Today’s card is a reminder that I am a strong and fully capable man more than able to handle what may come.


#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
: How do I accept life more fully?

Lonely Dreamer Tarot

Reading Summary: Worries and anxieties (Nine of Swords) are blocking your path and holding you back (Nine of Wands). Make the choice (Two of Swords) to overcome (Yellow in Two of Swords) pessimism instead of giving into it (Five of Cups).

Take Away: The cards here make it clear that the worries and anxieties that are blocking my path and stirring up my pessimistic side are something I have a choice about.  This is not an uncontrollable situation and I need to (as readings prior to this have also indicated over the past week) make sure I am making the conscious decision to lean into optimism and positive thought rather than sinking into the habitual pessimism that is my regular tendency.


#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
: Do Spread #1
 How can I create a greater feeling of contentment in my life?

Tarot LeavesReading Summary: Make sure you’re paying attention (Two of Swords) to your inner dialogue (Ace of Swords) and choose a nurturing approach (Empress) rather than a sharp one (Sword imagery in the Ace).

Although leaf shape between the Ace and Two of Swords is very similar and connects these two cards, it is the blues that blend through the three cards, purifying and darkening as they go from the Ace of Swords through the Empress that really catches my eye.

The purity of the blue in the Empress card indicates to me that it is the key player in this spread, ranked in importance above the muffled colors in the Two of Swords and the impure greenish tinge of the blue in the Ace of Swords. Just as that color dynamic speaks to me of a leaning toward the Empress, putting weight upon her importance in these cards, the impression is further reinforced by the purity of the green in the Empress which (like the blues) holds weight in the spread over the more muddled greens in the Ace of Swords.

The red ribbon in the Two of Swords is a splash of color that catches the eye and holds its own weight as it corresponds to the woman’s blindfold, indicating that this card is not about choice in this instance, but about being blinded and not paying attention.

Take Away: I am notoriously hard on myself and that is what the cards are calling me out on in this reading.  In order to create a greater feeling of contentment in my life, I need to be paying close attention to my inner dialog and course correcting any negativity and unpleasant pessimism into a more nurturing vein of encouragement.


Lionharts #AstroTarotChallenge
: How/What am I currently contributing to my culture, social space, or direct environment?

The Painted Tarot

Reading Summary: I’m generous with my time (Seven of Pentacles), my ear, and my support (Queen of Cups) when others are feeling uncertain or lost (Moon).

Take Away: I contribute to my social space and direct environment by giving of myself.  This includes not just my time but also my support.  I make space for others who are feeling confused or uncertain, providing them with an ear to listen to what they need to get out and try to cast a healing light to help keep that darkness they are experiencing in check.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What makes me bulletproof?

Brady Tarot 2nd Edition

Ace of Arrows (Truth) – I demand truth, and I “speak” it in turn. It’s not worth it to waste my time on lies and half truths, and  I do not expect to be coddled or pandered to by others. Instead, I would rather know the whole truth up front so that if it is unpleasant I can deal with the fall out and quickly move on from that to other important matters.

High Priestess – My intuition and moral compass.  I am lead by them and I follow them without question, depending upon what they say as absolute truth. I trustingly move to the beat of their drum because I understand that they are whispering secrets in my ear and telling me things I need to know, providing guidance to my benefit, and providing information that would otherwise be beyond my ken.

Mother of Feathers – I like to help others when I can and I give good advice, and have absolutely no trouble admitting I’m wrong when it happens, especially if it is going to give me the opportunity to learn from my mistake. Sometimes I can have a “sharp tongue”, but there is a reason for this when it happens, as it creates a succinct punctuation to my words that catch one’s attention in the way a gentler approach can’t always do.