tarot for self care

Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

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These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Veleda Woods Tarot, Synchronicity Oracle, Awakened Soul Oracle

Earth – High Priestess, Justice, Home – Use your intuition to find balance at home. This week may come with a hint of imbalance as you work through getting your equilibrium back after the events of Friday and Saturday with your mother. Instead of dwelling, find the route of least resistance through use of your intuition, and allow things to balance themselves out instead of trying to right the scales on your own.

Air – Nine of Wands Rx and Incantation – It’s time to refresh and reinforce your wards and protections. Instead of going by rote, take some time to sit down and work through what needs to be done and what needs to be changed up.

Water – Ace of Cups, Fledgling of Cups, Sister – Repetition of new beginnings is going to be a theme this week.  Make sure that whether you’re dealing with your new emotional growth, or approaching an emotional issue that has arisen again and again over time, that you lean on those closest to you instead of trying to stand strong on your own.  It’s okay to reach out for support when you need it, and they are more than happy to lend an ear or a shoulder.

Fire – Ranger of Wands and Fall – This is a reminder that you need to start working on the preparation for the holiday rush now.  The earlier you begin your preparations, the less rushed and struggling you will feel when the holiday rush starts.

Waning – Treasure – It’s funny that this comes up as what is waning over the week ahead when I just  noticed this morning how sad and tattered some of my “specimens” I use in my card photos are starting to look.  It’s time to toss out those treasures that have become faded and tattered, and seek out new ones to replace them with.

Waxing – Boundaries – This hearkens back up to what was mentioned in the Air portion of this reading.  It has to do with making sure I get those new wards and protections in place, and reinforces the need to make sure they get done this week and are not put off until later on for whatever reasons that might come up to stir up the temptations of procrastination.

Take Away – Focusing on sharing with loved ones and the protection and balance of the energies of the hearth is going to be a theme this week.  Make sure you are following your intuition and not falling into old habits.  New methods are to be encouraged rather than set aside this week, as some refreshing and “sprucing up” of old and repeated processes.

DECKS USED:  VELEDA WOODS TAROT, SYNCHRONICITY ORACLE, AWAKENED SOUL ORACLE

Desires vs Reality

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was another of the harp string meditations with the interval chimes.  It was very relaxing and I dozed off somewhere near the end and had a pretty good sleep.  I’m not calling it a “nap” because it really did feel more like I had gone to bed and had a good sleep, even though it only lasted probably an hour or so.  I didn’t wake up so much “refreshed” as just a bit more energized with muscle strain eased.

Cosmos Tarot and OracleToday’s draw is the Five of Water (Five of Cups) for the second day in a row. As I mentioned (just yesterday), the traditional interpretation of this card is about disappointment, pessimism, feelings of failure, and that “sour grapes” feeling of the glass being half empty.

I love the imagery of this card today.  It is… I find it breathtaking, and so fitting, all at once.  I see the image of an individual looking up at what they can’t have instead of enjoying what they have in this image.  Sea monster or not, that look at what lies beyond their reach is something I can relate to, and it still lingers upon the topic of my mother and her manipulations.

Every time she takes me by surprise, I feel so damned stupid.  And the fact is, that it’s that Five of Cups theme that creates the opportunity for those feelings to surface.  It’s that wanting for what I can’t have… that desire for what’s beyond my reach that causes the disappointment.

I desire the mother that loves me.  I deserve a mother that cherishes me.   Maybe, in her own way, she does both of these ways.  But it’s not in any way that I can personally see.  It’s not in any form that is identifiable to me.   My expectations are not helping this situation and I need to let them go, and accept things as they are.

DECK USED:  COSMOS TAROT AND ORACLE

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic:  I’m so burnt out all the time.
Question:  How can I be proactive, rather than simply reactive, about rest?

Lumina Tarot

Reading Summary: Stay in touch with how you’re feeling (Knight of Cups) and own it (the curl of the Fox’s tail in the Queen of Wands), and understand that it is fully acceptable (Six of Wands) to need rest.

Take Away: Part of the reason I habitually hit burnout again and again is because instead of staying in touch with how I am feeling, I push the warning signs away and shove them into a dark corner instead of listening to them.  By pushing these warning signs and struggles away, I can then plow forward and continue to push myself harder and harder, as I was always taught is the “right” thing to do.

If I want to be more proactive about my rest, I need to connect with those feelings and warning signs instead of ignoring them, and accept that it’s a part of being human to need rest, and not a failing on my part.

DECK USED:  LUMINA TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic:  Hidden Strength / Secret Weakness

Tarot MaddonniHidden Strength – Nine of Pentacles – Creating stability, and the ability to be alone. I don’t need other people to entertain me or keep me company, I’m more than capable of doing that for myself. My independence is one of my greatest strengths, and not one that is obvious to everyone.

Secret Weakness – Three of Swords – I am my own worst enemy and my depression is my hidden secret weakness. I’m upfront about the fact that I deal with depression and have done so throughout my life… and yet when a depressive episode comes upon me, I work to hide it both from others as well as myself.

DECK USED:  TAROT MADDONNI

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic:  be proud // be humble // be brave // be strong

Student Tarot v4 Godard's Birds

Be Proud – The Lovers – I make good choices. This is something that I can take pride in.  Whether these choices are for my benefit or the benefit of others, whether it is in the person I have partnered with, or the employers I work for, or anything else.  In the end, with the guidance of my intuition and my moral compass, I make good choices.

Be Humble – The Star – I don’t know everything when it comes to spiritual matters. Fortunately, I’m not someone that struggles with saying “I don’t know” when I don’t know the answer to something, but I think sometimes I do come off as more knowledgeable on certain subjects than I am, simply because I am confident of my own personal path.

Be Brave – Ten of Pentacles -Sometimes even when you have stability and security in your life?  It feels like it’s not enough, or like it might be taken away from you on the whims of fate alone.  Obtainment doesn’t necessarily mean anything if you can’t hold onto what you want once you get it. It takes bravery.  Not just to go after what you want, but also to admit you want it and to work at holding onto it even after you have it.

Be Strong – The Moon – It can be hard to be strong in times of uncertainty, but remember that these times are transient.  Their impermanence means that no matter how confusing or uncertain things might seem in the moment?  Eventually it will all come clear again.  It just takes some strength and perseverance to get through to the other side.

DECK USED:  STUDENT TAROT v4 GODARD’S BIRDS

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Topic:  The part of my world that inspires me is…

Karma Tarot

Reading Summary: Guiding others (Grand Master) in sorting out (Justice) their struggles and worries (Nine of Swords) so that they can make gradual progress toward a better future (Knight of Coins).

Side note: For some reason the Grand Master (Hierophant) in this deck always makes me think of the caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland.  I’m not sure why.

Take Away:  I’m not sure if the feeling I get from helping others with their path so much inspires me, as it kindles a feeling of warmth and positivity within my soul.  Perhaps that could actually be considered inspiration of a sort, though.  Not so much creative inspiration, and yet inspiration all the same.

DECK USED:  KARMA TAROT

Struggling With Disappointment

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and one of the harp strings meditations with the interval chimes to walk me through my piriformis stretching.  I had a little bit of difficulty focusing today during the meditation, probably because today was one of my “long ass drive” days and I was really far more interested in getting my ass on the road than taking the time to meditate.  I did do it, though, no matter how much I felt the need to squirm my way through it.

Herbcrafter's TarotToday’s draw is the Five of Water (Five of Cups) which is traditionally interpreted as an indication of pessimism or apathy. It is, essentially, the “glass half empty” card and can often be interpreted not just as pessimism or disappointment, but also themes to do with one’s attitudes around failure.

I’m  not going to go into goldenseal today, as what is really important about this card today, and the message that lies within it, is twofold and already very evident to me.  The first message being that when you have that “meh” feeling, it’s important to pay attention to it instead of just following where it leads. What is it really about? Why has it surfaced? Why are you following it so blindly instead of examining it closely? Don’t just accept it at face value.

The second message in the appearance of this card today has to do with the incident with my mother.  I feel like an idiot for being excited when I opened a surprise package from my mother and found her Hoi Polloi inside.   I should have known better than to think it was just a kindness because she knows it was something I want.  I should have known that it would be an effort to manipulate me in some way.

I was stupid not to realize it, or at least suspect.  I didn’t, and the feeling of disappointment and pessimistic unpleasantness that came when she displayed her true colors yet again and showed me that the ‘gift’ was really a manipulation tactic… was crushing.   Again.  And thus comes in the Five of Cups.

I need to turn remember what I have that is good instead of focusing on the shit.  I guess I’m just… taking a moment to throw my own pity party first.  I won’t let it last, though, I promise.

DECK USED:  HERBCRAFTER’S TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic:  I’m so burnt out all the time.
Question:  What causes me to be resistant toward rest?

Hanson Roberts Tarot

Reading Summary: The fear that if I don’t keep going and juggling everything (Two of Pentacles) that shit will fall apart (The Tower)… It also allows me to avoid owning my own emotions (King of Cups Rx).

Take Away:  If I’m too busy to rest, then I’m too busy to deal with my emotions, and thus I have an excuse to bury them instead of dealing with them.  This, combined with my constant fear of “dropping the ball” and everything crashing down around me as a result are the things that most significantly influence why I’m resistant toward rest.

DECK USED:  HANSON ROBERTS TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Question:  What in my life could benefit from more honesty?

Evolution TarotReading Summary:  You can have all the tools in the world (The Magician) and all the resources you need at your disposal (King of Coins), but any addiction allowed to flourish out of control will knock you on your ass if given the opportunity to do so (The Devil).

Take Away:  This is why even though moderation is not at all my favorite thing, it is so very important.  I’ve admitted this before that I was a bit fast and loose with my money over late-spring and early-summer.  That sort of thing is nice now and then, but it’s not sustainable for long.

What needs could benefit from more honesty in my life is that I need to look close at my spending and do the work to get things back on the moderate side of self-control again.

DECK USED:  EVOLUTION TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic:  share // save

Women of Science TarotShare – Ten of Nano (Water) – Share the love.  This isn’t about money or resources, it’s about support and emotion.  It’s about love, and sharing that love with those that are important to you and closest to you.   With what happened with mom today, my first instinct was to close up and curl in on myself.  A better route is to stay open and share my feelings with others that love and understand me.

Save – Seven of Macro (Earth) – Slow growth takes time, preservation, and conservation.  It isn’t something immediate, but gradual.  This takes patience.  It’s important to make sure you don’t throw patience out the window when you feel frustrated.  Instead, take a deep breath and persevere.

DECK USED:  WOMEN OF SCIENCE TAROT

 

Brush Your Teeth

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

I’m a bit behind in my posts and I didn’t write out the meditation part on Thursday like I should have.  I have no real memory of actually meditating, let alone the method I used… although I do know that I did do it. Sooo yeah.   I should have written out the meditation part when I wrote out the card of the day part and the rest of my notes that I took down on Thursday.

Cosmos Tarot and OracleToday’s draw is the Two of Water (Two of Cups) which is traditionally interpreted as a representation of connections and unity, partnerships, and other relationships where people connect on an emotional or creative level and work well together.

What I see in this card today doesn’t have anything to do with Antlia or about the Two of Water (although it does tie into that theme, which I’ll explain).   When I saw this card today, the immediate thought that came to mind was “BRUSH YOUR TEETH!”

Now, how I see this tying into the Two of Cups theme is that you just can’t connect with people on a meaningful level when your hygiene and grooming is driving them away.  It just doesn’t work.  A miasma of bad breath or body odor will, under damned near any circumstance, drive away anyone you would normally have an opportunity to connect with or work with.

The message in today’s card, then, is one of self care.  It’s about keeping up on physical self care.  Not just the showering and brushing of teeth, but all the multitude of little things that keep you presentable and approachable to others.   You can’t expect to connect with others if you’re unwilling to put in the effort  on your end as well.

DECK USED:  COSMOS TAROT AND ORACLE

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic:  I’m so overwhelmed.
Question:  How can I learn to care more about pleasing myself than pleasing others?

Midcenturian Tarot

Reading Summary: There is a double message here from the Justice card… 1)  do they really deserve it? 2) Balance is needed in order to obtain progress (Knight of Pentacles) and accomplishment (King of Wands)

Take Away: The first message from the Justice card is about being more mindful both about of others pleasure or need, and if those things really outweigh my own. The second message is about examining the motivation behind why you are putting others needs before your own. This hearkens back to yesterday’s read, and self neglect being one of my methods of self-destructive behavior. By putting other’s wants and desires above my own, I tear down my own potential for progress and accomplishment.

DECK USED:  MIDCENTURIAN TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Question:  What I Can Change / What I Can’t Change

Slavic TarotWhat I Can Change – Strength – Myself. I can change myself and how I handle things. By remembering to bring forth inner resources and outer strength, I can better deal with struggle and strife, and better overcome the challenges that confront me along my path.

What I Can’t Change – Justice – On the other hand, what I can’t change is the universal need for balance in the world. This is a part of life. Everything evens out in the end one way or another.  This is a major part of my faith, the belief in this balance and constant adjustments that take place in order to continue to keep things in balance all of the time.  This has to do with everything from Karma to the give and take of nature, and everything else in between and beyond it.  It is truly a universal truth.

DECK USED:  SLAVIC TAROT

Morning Bonus Read – Self Care vs Slacking Off

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“This last week, several people had a conversation in general-chat about how to tell if an action is self care or laziness/avoidance. Time to take that question to our divination tools!”

Colliding Crowns Fantasy Playing Cards

What self care is needed in my life?

Some focus on miserly behavior and building up my foundation (Four of Diamonds) financially when it comes to new money coming in (Ace of Diamonds). This is based in your need for stability, which requires a steady foundation beneath your feet.  Do not allow self destructive urges and bad habits to steer you from this need hat is a basic part of your make up.

What difficult actions am I avoiding or procrastinating on?

See above in the self care that is needed. When your foundation is unsteady, your anxiety is given free reign (Nine of Spades) which creates an instability that quickly leads down the road to chaos (Joker).  All those little flutterings of anxiety you’ve felt over the past week or so?  This is the root of that rise within you.  Stop procrastinating and deal with it before it blows up in your face.

What action do I think is self care but is actually avoidance?

Not using your time wisely by spending it in unproductive ways with others (Three of Hearts).  You can’t create a stable home that way, no matter how much you enjoy relaxing in their company (Four of Clubs). Using them to ignore your problems fixes nothing and only allows these issues to grow in the background while you are distracting yourself.

What action do I think is avoidance but is actually self care?

Getting entangled within creative endeavors to the point that your focus and drive glimmer like a flame in the center of the creative process (Queen of Clubs) allows you a healthy way to avoid useless conflict (Five of Clubs) you don’t need to get wrapped up in anyway.  It’s okay to lose yourself in that creative process sometimes.  It’s good for you.

DECK USED: COLLIDING CROWNS FANTASY PLAYING CARDS

Conservation Through Moderation

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Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and ended in a short nap, as many of my meditations seem to do these days.  It was one of the harp string meditations and I must have dozed off during the last position of my piriform stretching as I was shifted over onto my left side with my legs still tangled up when I woke up a bit later.

Herbcrafter's TarotToday’s draw is the Seven of Earth (Seven of Pentacles) which is traditionally a representation of slow growth and gradual progress in the areas of one’s finances, resources, health, manifestations, and the physical world.

What stood out to me in the imagery of this card today is the acorns.  Specifically the fact that half of the acorn caps are empty, and yet you see no nuts anywhere, just acorn caps and full acorns.   To me this speaks of consumption, and specifically about regulating consumption.

When you are looking at long-term sustainable growth, it’s more than about patience.  Yes, patience is a good part of it, but so is moderation and restraint, because long term goals need to take in an element of conservation.  Continuous sustained growth in any area requires this because if you consume more quickly than you can reproduce what’s being used… you end up breaking down the cycle and everything falls apart.

The message in today’s card is about having the strength and wisdom (and this is where the meaning of the Oak comes into play for me today) to give that need for conservation it’s due.  Moderation is not easy… but it is necessary.

DECK USED:  HERBCRAFTER’S TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic:  I’m so overwhelmed.
Question:  Why do I treat others as more entitled to my time than I am?

Tarot of the Journey to the Orient

Reading Summary: It’s a bad habit (The Devil) that I try to ignore instead of dealing with (Eight of Swords)… that is, making choices that I know are not good for me (The Lovers Rx), and that then lead to imbalance and uncertainty (The Moon).

Take Away:  Weighing other’s needs and wishes above my own is a part of a self-destructive pattern of behavior where I use bad choices in how I prioritize my time and energy to create within my life a situation of stress and uncertainty when things start to fall apart as a result.

Ooph… okay so that really hit home, and framed things in a way that I hadn’t really looked at or considered before.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE JOURNEY TO THE ORIENT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question:  Does learning inherently imply improvement?

New Palladini TarotReading Summary: We all come into this world with the capacity to love and thus emotional fulfillment is obtainable on its own (Ten of Cups).  Everything else takes work and the honing of skills (Eight of Pentacles) to achieve (Nine of Cups), and patience and moderation to master (Temperance).

Take Away:  Yes. Everything in these speaks of progression and improvement through experience and knowledge. Only emotional fulfillment can be achieved without this process, as we are all born with the capacity to love from the start.

DECK USED:  NEW PALLADINI TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic:  forgive // forget

Minchiate Etruria (Anima Antiqua)Temperance – Forgive yourself for your shortcomings and have patience with yourself. As long as you are moving forward, it’s okay to move forward slowly.  Take into consideration the physical hurdles and handicaps you have to work with, work around, and contend with in order to reach your goal and cut yourself a little slack.

Ten of Swords – Forget the damage done by others and life’s misfortunes. You have the physical scars you carry with you to remind you of the lessons learned along the way.  It’s okay to forget the pain and allow yourself to move on from it.

DECK USED:  MINCHIATE ETRURIA ANIMA ANTIQUA TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question:  Pick a card for creative inspiration.

The Fifth TarotNow is a time of “percolation and planning”. Allow your creative juices to flow beneath the surface and don’t worry about output or time right now. In yesterday’s read there was a point about not being able to force creativity, and that is the message repeated here today.  You can’t force it… you have to let it rise to the surface, and just prepare to be ready for its arrival so that you can take advantage of its presence when the time comes.

When it’s time to move forward, you will feel that spark of fire within your gut that tells you its time to leap.  Right now is not yet that time.

DECK USED:  THE FIFTH TAROT