Unpacking the Chest

Today’s meditation was twenty-five minutes long, and was not a guided meditation.  Instead, I did a retreat into my “mental safe place” for a time.   I will do a post about this in the future to fully describe it for you.

Essentially, though, what this meditation entails is immersing yourself into a daydream.  Specifically, a daydream that you use to find peace and calm.  Your personal paradise, to be exact.      You then spend the time exploring this place, including touching in with all of your senses in the process.

Today’s draw was (instead of IS, because it’s now the very end of the day today) the King of Brine (aka the King of Cups).  This card is traditionally a representation of a projective alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of emotions, creativity, relationships, and intuition.  It follows along the themes of authority, as all the kings do, but in the flavor of diplomacy and emotional balance. Among other things, it can also indicate a time of inner work on the self or that emotional manipulations are afoot.

When I looked at this King of Cups card this morning, what stuck out to me was the baby crocodiles and the delicate shells tucked in the upper and lower corner.  When you think of the crocodile, thoughts of tenderness and nurturing are not usually a part of that equation.  And yet what you see here is delicateness that is existing alongside the “brute” of the full grown croc.

Like most King of Cups cards, the representation in this King of Brine card makes me think of you.  Your power  and your dominant nature, and the tenderness underneath that allows for me to learn and grow in the area where my knowledge and experience is at my weakest… my emotions.

I met you when I was just 19 and when most are just starting out at life.  I’d already been on my own for just over three years and was very much getting my ducks in a row.  But I was emotionally stunted, as I spent the majority of my life closing myself off to my deeper emotions.  You held the key that opened that box I had buried so deeply.

I did not understand the depth of this card when I saw it this morning.  But since then, I’ve done a reading that clarified it much better.  I will include a summary of that reading at the bottom of this post, but suffice to say that the appearance of the King of Brine today is a reminder that your support is there for me whenever I need it, no matter the depth of that need.

The Reading:

I did the #TarotForGrowthSeptember prompt from Instagram.

Question: Where may it be beneficial for me to ask for help?

Reading Summary: There was once a very hard working man that thought he knew everything, but he really still has much to learn in the area of his emotions.

Take Away: This is pretty much the story of me when I met you. I worked hard, and I thought I had everything worked out and under control. Then you arrived and showed me that there was an entire aspect of myself that I’d buried and ignored. Eleven and a half years later, and I’m still unpacking that chest I’d once buried so deeply… and I still need your help to work through it all.

With the series of drops that I’ve been going through lately, and the family matters that are coming up at the end of the month, I’m sure I am very much going to need help emotionally in working through what comes up and learning how to deal with it and balance it all into the rest of my life.

Decks Used: Stolen Child Tarot, Morgan Greer Tarot

 

Shelter In the Storm

Today’s meditation was ten minutes and ten seconds long, and focused on finding gratitude for the good times through experiencing the bad ones.

Honestly?  This is one of the main ways in which I connect with gratitude.  There have been so many things that have gone on in my life… that I have lived through, survived, worked around, etc.  My connection with  gratitude is easy when I look back at these times and compare them with what I have (and where I am) now.

I also think that is something that a lot of people forget to consider.  So many wallow in the experiences of their past  and how they wish things had been different, or the effects that those experiences have had on their present or future.   But it is much more rare to find those that look at those past experiences and accept them as lessons learned, and say “thank god that’s over and no longer my situation”.   I think this is an important part of the healing process.

Today’s draw is the Empress card, which is the 3rd card in the Major Arcana.

I love the imagery for the Empress in this card, and it speaks to me really deeply right now.  Delving into the subdrop is a difficult process that makes you feel small and vulnerable.  Today’s card is a reminder that my “Empress” is right within my reach, only a text or message away.  That supportive energy, that protective bulk, and that calming influence is hovering right behind me, ready to step in as soon as I reach out for it.

I love you, man.  Even with the subdrop.

The traditional meaning of the Empress card is one of strong nurturing energy.  She is the mother, fertile and comforting.  She is the queen, strong and supportive.  This card can also mean dependency upon another, and I think that in today’s interpretation, it is all of the above.

Deck Used: The Stolen Child Tarot

Take It With You

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and focused on the benefits of taking a pause (such as when we meditate) to assist in clearing the clutter from the mind and creating a clearer focus.

This was a benefit that, when I started first meditating on a regular basis, I didn’t really notice all that much.   BUT, over time, I’ve come to notice that on the days that I do not meditate in the morning, I end up feeling more frazzled throughout the day.

It’s not a huge difference, but when you are dealing with anxiety, there’s always that last straw, right?   The meditation offsets that last straw, knocking a few others off my back at the same time, which makes everything just a little easier to deal with and my mind a little clearer as a result.

Today’s draw is a double without a jumper, meaning that they both came out together.

The cards in today’s draw are the Eight of Zephyrs and the Queen of Brine.

I find a common serenity in both of these cards, although the cards themselves speak to me of opposing situations.

In the Queen of Brine card, she is completely in her element where everything is familiar, and all within her element is completely trusting of her. The mollusk she holds is not hiding in its shell, but instead is open and exposed.  The same can be said for the clams in the corners of the card that expose their pearls within her presence. Creatures of the sea swirl around her, embracing her, and she is both confident and serene in her environment.

In the Eight of Zephyrs card, the little moth child is within water, which is not their natural element. And and yet they, too,  look serene in that environment and the environment appears to support their endeavor. The bushel of venus fly traps in the bottom right corner is an indication that there is always some risk that comes with trying something new and stepping out of your element… but as a whole the card speaks of finding serenity even in the unfamiliar of something new.

The Queen of Brine overlapping the Eight of Zephyrs speaks of taking that inner sense of  serenity within the embrace of what is familiar to you, and carrying it with you into times when you step into unfamiliar territory. Be aware of the danger of course, but also be in touch with how the new experience feels and the benefits it may bring.

Traditional Meanings:

Queen of Brine (Water) is a representation of a receptive alpha energy in the area of emotions, creativity, relationships, and intuition. The appearance of the card usually follows along the themes of compassion, caring for the self or others, and listening to one’s heart and intuition.

Numerically speaking, the Eight of Zephyrs (Air) is a representation of manifestation, purpose and determination, as well as accomplishments in the area of the mind, logic, education, thought, instinct, and communication.   Traditional meanings within the RWS system for this card also include self limiting thoughts and beliefs, self doubt, and being open to new perspectives.

Deck Used: The Stolen Child Tarot

 

My Struggle With Balance and Moderation

There was no meditation today, although I will make an effort to do it when I lie down tonight to go to bed.

Today’s draw is from a new deck, as I try to switch the deck out once a month (more if I’m just not getting what I need out of it, such as I did last month).  This month’s deck is starting with a newer deck in my collection, the Stolen Child Tarot by Monica L Knighton.   I do not have the guidebook for this deck (as it hasn’t been finished yet), so all my interpretations of the artwork are just that, completely my own, as I have no input from the artist about their work to share at this time.

I would like to share the “theme” of the deck with you, though.   It is based after a poem by William Butler Yeats called “The Stolen Child“.

Come away, Oh human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world’s more full of
weeping than you can understand.

Ok…. so onward to the draw for today.   Today’s draw is the Ten of Flame, which traditionally is a representation of transitioning cycles, regeneration, endings and renewals in the area of one’s ambitions, drive, willpower, and passions.

In the picture for this card, you see a leopard boy looking very grown up, quite stern, and in control.  The leopard body is in repose while the human is erect and strong, a visage of a smaller cat aflame in the corner.

Intuitively speaking, this card speaks of control and strength of will, and that is the message that I draw from this card.   My inner beast is one that is often preoccupied with wants and needs in the form of pleasure pursuits and expressions of my creativity.  When I let it free, it can forget about practicalities and responsibilities if allowed to do so.   Today’s draw is a reminder to seek balance, but not so much control that you torch that inner spark that finds life so much fun.

It is the message of moderation that we spoke about earlier today, and you know just how much difficulty I have with moderation…. no matter if it is moderating that controlling workaholic self, or the fun and creative side.  Either way, this is something that I struggle with quite a bit, and so it’s not surprising that it is a recurring theme in my self care spreads and daily draws.   It helps that I incorporate a lot of my creative energies into my work, but yet that balance is still a struggle.

Today’s card is a reminder of the need for that, though, and an encouragement to keep at it.

Deck Used: The Stolen Child Tarot

Self Care Saturday (on Sunday)

SCS

As I mentioned before, these readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and are not meant as a predictive reading.

The question is… What do I need to focus on in the week ahead?

Earth – Four of Candles & The Chariot – If I want to meet my physical and monetary goals, it will require seizing the reigns and a higher level of control in the week ahead.

Air – The Magician – I have what I need, including the tools and knowledge necessary to succeed in this week’s goals if I make a point of applying these tools and knowledge with focus.

Water – Four of Vials – Its time for some down time.  Don’t wait until you are feeling overwhelmed to take a break.

Fire – Two of Bells – This card ties into the one previous.  If I’m not caring for my  needs and making good choices for my self care, I will end up feeling scattered and “flaky”.

Moving Away From – Creativity and manifestation of new ideas into reality. Projective nurturing.

Heading Toward – Demands to perform under unpleasant conditions.

Moral of the Story – I am being warned of potential burnout.  Take heed and begin preventative measures.

Decks Used: Numinous Tarot, Dixit Quest Expansion Pack #2

 

Decks that Intimidate Me – (non) VR to BoyDiviner

The BoyDiviner on YouTube did a video that, although it is not a hashtag, I really enjoyed a lot and decided to do a (non)VR to anyway.

This is about tarot decks that intimidate me in some way or another.  I don’t have many, but there are a few in my collection that fit the bill.  Here is an outline of what these decks are, and how I feel about them.

ST

Secret Tarot by Dominic Murphy

I absolutely love the artwork in this deck.  I love the concept, the originality, the expressiveness in the cards.  I love it.

But, at the same time?  I find it very intimidating.  I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that after the major arcana, the deck is an entirely different structure.  I’ve had more luck with the Lost Tarot by the same artist, as there seems to be a bit more structure in that one than this one.

Still, I keep it because I love the artwork.  And, at some point, I plan on doing a depth study of this deck to help me (hopefully) become more familiar and comfortable with it and its unusual system.

TH

Thoth Tarot by Aleister Crowley

I used to think that it was just the Thoth system that intimidated me, but after working with the Gill Tarot and a few others, I think in this case it’s the artwork, not the system.

Something in the artwork for the original Thoth deck just makes me want to ‘shield and retreat’ in much the same way that I feel when I come across someone radiating abusive vibes.   I bought this deck to delve deeper into the Thoth system, but every time I pick it up, it turns me off.   Not just emotionally or aesthetically, but even my intuition turns away from this deck and will refuse to speak.

WW

Wild Wood Tarot by Mark Ryan, John Matthews, and Will Worthington

I genuinely adore this deck and its earthiness, although I find the energy of this deck just a but too heavy.   I love the artwork especially.  But, for some reason I have a hard time reading this deck intuitively, and many of the cards do not follow the RWS system, so I then struggle with reading it logically as well.

I did a depth study on this deck for an entire year, but I still find myself unable to read with it confidently, even after a year of serious study.

DG

Dreams of Gaia Tarot by Ravynne Phelan

It’s the faces.   I mean, yes, it’s an entirely different system from any other deck out there, but I think I would be more inclined to learn that system IF it wasn’t for the FACES.  They just bug me for some reason.  I don’t like them.

That said, I do use this deck, but I use it as an intuitive oracle instead. Usually when harsh truths are required.

SPK

Spirit Keeper’s Tarot by Benebell Wen

This one is purely all about information overload.  I’m kind of wondering if this deck isn’t more suited to the logic-style of readers rather than the intuitive style?  I’m not entirely sure.   I just find there is SO MUCH information in each card that I feel overwhelmed by them when I try to read with them.

I think they’re amazing, and I think Benebell Wen (who drew each of these cards by hand) is brilliant.  I have the study books that go along with this deck and intend on doing a depth study with it at some point.  But, at the moment, I find it a bit too much and the cards make me feel like the crossed wires between my logic and intuition are about to blow a fuse.