tarot and psychology

The Need for Softness is Universal

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was about five minutes long before the fire alarm went off for the entire building and sort of… well yeah.  I guess I could meditate through it, but it’s probably not the best idea.  By the time I managed to get back upstairs it was time to spend time with you, so I decided to put off my meditation until tonight at bed time instead.

Herbal Tarot - Queen of Pentacles - MarshmallowToday’s draw is the Queen of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the areas of finance, resources, manifestation, health, or the physical world.   This is often portrayed through themes involving responsibility and practicality rolled up in a nurturing atmosphere or nature.

Probably not entirely surprising, considering the talk we had about this being one of the most racially divers decks I’ve ever seen (and published in 1988, no less), the first thing I noticed in the imagery of this card was that the woman depicted here is Asian.   The second thing that stood out to me in the imagery of today’s card was the ruffled lace-like edge of her pink headdress, and how that headdress matches the flowers of the Althaea officinalis plant.

A lot of times when we think of the Queen of Pentacles, although there is that “mother earth” like energy, there is also a hardness there that comes with the practicality of the pentacle suit.  The pink of her headdress softens this impression that is portrayed in her very rigid posture, and that softness of the lacy edge of the fabric continues that trend of softness, blending the hard and soft aspects together into one.

Marshmallow root is a soothing and cleansing herb that is used to gently cleans and heal the kidneys.  The kidneys filter out dangerous toxins from our body, but sometimes they need a little extra help.

Sometimes?  We all need a little help and a little bit of gentleness.  And that is the message in today’s card.  No matter how tough you pretend to me, or how rigid you hold yourself? There always comes a time when you need a little gentleness and nurturing, and when that time comes?  It’s okay to partake in that and allow it to soothe and heal you inside and out.

DECK USED:  HERBAL TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJune Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I become more accepting of the parts of myself I shy away from?

Tarot of the Animal Lords

Reading Summary: Actively work towards accepting (Knave of Swords) that sometimes re-ordering things (Two of Pentacles) takes some time and isn’t prone to instant gratification (Seven of Pentacles).

Take Away:  The parts of myself I shy away from, in this case, are my impatience and negativity toward myself.  My patience feeds that negativity, giving it something to pick at and gripe about in my internal dialog.   By seeking out ways to be more accepting that sometimes (even for me) things will have to take a bit of time and that that is natural, it helps to quiet those inner voices that are constantly trying to tell me that I’m not doing enough.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE ANIMAL LORDS

#DiscordTarotholicsJun2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What unresolved angst is my inner adolescent still holding onto?

Happy TarotReading Summary: This is about having gone through struggles and imbalance and needing to heal myself instead of being able to depend on others (Temperance Rx). It’s about the uncertainty and poverty (The Moon) that I went through when I struck out on my own, and the need to create my own stability and security on my own (Four of Pentacles).

Take Away:  By the time I turned sixteen, I was already an adult.  I knew I needed to take care of myself, and I knew that I couldn’t heal myself or help myself while under my parents roof.  I emancipated, renouncing my adolescence officially and legally in preference for becoming an adult and taking those steps into adulthood early.  In doing this, I cast myself into a world of uncertainty and instability that I’ve never fully recovered from.  The cards here indicate the reason that I have never fully recovered from the trauma of that time of instability (and thus the reason I am so hyper-focused upon home and financial stability now) is because my inner adolescent has not healed from it and is still angsty and upset about it.

DECK USED:  HAPPY TAROT

#TheJuneTarot Challenge by Lionhart
Question: What part of my life needs more grounding at this time?

Stone Marseille Tarot

Reading Summary: Emotional fuckery (Knight of Cups) caused by too much too fast (Chariot) leading to retreat (Hermit). I stop the conflict (Five of Wands) and pick a direction (Two of Wands).

Take Away:  This deck, I’m finding, has a really harsh voice sometimes.  BUT, it’s not wrong.  I need to pick a direction to go in before my emotions send me tumbling off the edge into chaos and in need of retreating into myself again.   That inner conflict isn’t good for me, and when I sense it starting to rise, I need to not retreat, but find a way to work with it and through it instead.

DECK USED:  STONE MARSEILLE TAROT

 

Finding the Good

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was curtailed by the fact that I was too distracted by how much that I needed to get going. I was behind on orders even before I ever woke up, so it was a bit of a problem even sitting still long enough to get some of my stretches in, let alone a meditation.  I will try to fit it in when I go to bed this evening.

Herbal Tarot - The Sun - AngelicaToday’s draw is the Sun card, which is traditionally a representation of hope, joy, and fun.  The card is the epitome of positivity and vitality and often appears as a message of success.

I really like the last line of the guidebook’s interpretation of this card, which is “It’s time to regenerate the self and to follow the heart’s path.” What stood out to me (not surprisingly) in the imagery of the card, though, is the plant itself. Angelica archangelica is used spiritually to attract good energy and good fortune into one’s life, as well as to purify one’s energies so that one’s true heart path becomes clear to them.

The message in today’s card is one of enjoyment. It is a reminder to incorporate joy into my work and seek out the pleasure that creativity and creation bring. Today is one of my busy days, where prepping orders is the theme of the whole day. The message here is to bring joy into the process so that the day includes more pleasure and less obligation.

DECK USED:  HERBAL TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJune Challenge Prompt
Question: What is my relationship with sexuality?

Everyday Witch Tarot

Reading Summary: A cycle of greed (Six of Swords), overload (Ten of Wands), and then crash and burn (The Tower).  The interpretation of the first card is not off traditional meanings, but specifically off the imagery, which looks like thieves running away through the night.

Take Away:  What is described here is a cycle that we go through together on a pretty normal basis.  The issue here lies in the Tower card. It lies in the fact that when I have gorged myself to the full extent and am bloated and heavy with the goodness of our mutual pleasure, that then when my libido slips back into its normal lesser amount… I feel like I’m fucking up and the world is coming to an end.

It’s stupid, I know.  But ever since the RPLND, I can’t sustain that heightened libido and… it bugs me.  It feels like a failing.  Logically, I know that it’s not.  But, as we both know…. emotions are rarely logical.

DECK USED:  EVERYDAY WITCH TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJun2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Write something free form inspired by the cards.

Golden Girls TarotThe Sun – Maggie loved her life.  Every day was a dream filled with sunshine and roses.  She spend her time helping others and uplifting the spirits of everyone she knew. Never had she ever understood those that went through “clinical depression” and she always wondered why they couldn’t just “brighten up” and feel better.  All you had to do was turn your thoughts to positive things, after all.

The Tower – Then one day her husband was in an accident, and while he was in the hospital, she discovered that he was having an affair with a neighbor.  Her marriage and her life felt as if it was falling down around her, and for the first time in her life she was unable to find the light at the end of the tunnel.  No amount of positive thinking could make things better, and the discovery changed her life in ways that made seeing the positive impossible.

The Hanged Man – After a time, she took the advice of a friend and called a therapist and began going to regular appointments with a psychologist.   Through therapy, Maggie was able to see her split with her husband in a better light, and view the transition to a new life on her own as an opportunity instead of a disaster.  This new perspective, over time, allowed her to begin bringing positivity back into her life and her world view.

DECK USED:  GOLDEN GIRLS TAROT

#TheJuneTarot Challenge by Lionhart
Question: Why is honoring my own needs so important?

Nicoletta Ceccoli Tarot

Reading Summary:  Depending on others (left card) can lead to either feelings of neglect (middle card) or micro management (right card).

Take Away:  If you don’t take care of you, who will?  More importantly… who will take care of you in the ways that you need?  Lots of people are happy to take care of this or that, but no one can take care of every need that another has, which leads to either a feeling of neglect or a feeling of being micromanaged.  Either way, it just doesn’t work. 

This is why it’s important to take care of yourself.  No one else can do it as well as you can.  Sometimes that means you can ask for help, though.  Just don’t expect that anyone is going to take it all on and do it as well as you can do it for yourself. Nor will others honor your needs if you don’t honor them first.

DECK USED:  NICOLETTA CECCOLI TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What takes me out of my comfort zone?

Trippin' Waite Tarot

Reading Summary:  I’m a big fan of stability (Four of Pentacles) and bounding forward at full charge to take risks (Knight of Swords), or to delve into the world of constantly flowing and shifting emotions (King of Cups), are definitely things that take me out of my comfort zone.

Take Away:  I’m not sure what more to say here.   I struggle with taking risks, and I struggle with that constantly shifting movement that is inherent in emotions.  I love being on solid footing and having a sense of stability and security.  Both taking risks and emotional shifts do not foster those qualities.   And yet, there are times when it’s necessary to delve into both, yeah?  It’s just a matter of choosing when and where.

DECK USED:  TRIPPIN’ WAITE TAROT

 

Slow and Steady Steps

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was not timed, because I kind of lost track of the timer.  That said, I would estimate that it was at least ten minutes.  I took the little bit of focus I had from yesterday, and repeated it… without the harp strings this time.  In other words, as I did my piriformis stretches, I meditated on the growth of a plant from seed to adulthood.  Like last time, this was very enjoyable for me and thus how I ended up losing track of time.  The only reason I know it was at least ten minutes is because my hip flexors were very limber and well stretched at the end.

Herbal Tarot - Ace of Pentacles - Whole GrainsToday’s draw is the Ace of Pentacles, which is traditionally interpreted as the seed of a new beginning or opportunity in relation to finances, resources, health, or the physical world.

What stood out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the stone wall with arched entrance that stretches through the background.   What I see in that wall is not just a new beginning, but a “recasting” of sorts.  A seed comes from a flower that has bloomed and faded, and thus this seed comes from a path that has passed and is now behind you. It is not immaculate conception, but rather reincarnation as you pass through the archway and into a new phase… a new cycle.   A new path created from the tail of the old one.

In the pentacles suit, this speaks to me of my endeavors to find that new balance with how I manage my work, responsibilities, and time.  It is a reminder (of which I am in need of many of them quite often) that this is a new start.  A new method.  A new way of doing things…. and it’s okay to take slow steps to assure your footing is strong and as sure as possible.

DECK USED:  HERBAL TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJune Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I better hear and heed my inner wisdom?

Tarot for Dandelions

Reading Summary:  Don’t allow uncertainty (Moon) to distract you (Two of Swords).  Instead, soldier on (Knight of Swords) and use the tools and skills at your disposal (Magician) to follow your inner wisdom’s call.

Just sayin’?  But the more I use this deck… the more I like this deck.

Take Away:  The cards here are referring to how sometimes my intuition’s voice can sometimes get a little muddled when dealing with upheaval that causes fear and uncertainty. This is very apropos considering the upheaval I had last night with the very out of control customer that lost his shit in my email.

DECK USED:  TAROT FOR DANDELIONS

#DiscordTarotholicsJun2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Do Spread #2
Should I go ahead and post the piece about a controversial topic on the blog with the blogpost I started last night?

Dame Darcy's Mermaid TarotReading Summary: It’s a selfish point of view as stated (Queen of Swords Rx) and needs to be reworked from a different perspective (Hanged Man over the Nine of Swords) in order to be less insensitive and ‘blind’ (Eight of Swords).

Take Away:  Okay yeah… I get that. The post that I wrote last night on this topic was very self centered and not at all “woke” or enlightened.  More just me popping off and being a bit of an ass. The cards here warn that posting it as-is risks hurting myself and others.  I’m not sure if I’ll rewrite it, or just scrap it entirely.  Either way, I’ll take the card’s advice on this and hold off on posting it as-is.

DECK USED:  DAME DARCY’S MERMAID TAROT

#TheJuneTarot Challenge by Lionhart
Question: Something I am suggested to do for myself today.

Linestrider Tarot

Reading Summary:  Slow down (Temperance) and make a conscious choice on what you’re doing today (Two of Wands) , and make sure that choice involves spending time with Gideon (King of Cups).

Take Away:  Just exactly what I’ve done with the majority of my day today.  Yes, I skipped nap time to do some work, but the majority of my day has been spent with you… and I’ve loved every minute of it. I love you man. Thank you for making today such a good day.

DECK USED:  LINESTRIDER TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What do I need to change?

Tarot Sirene

Reading Summary: Passion’s direction (Two of Wands). Because being forceful (Strength) will only cause unpleasant consequences (Justice). Ie: Change your tone.

Take Away:  This goes back to the reading I did for the Tarotholics challenge, and that blog post that I want to post but at the same time was hesitant about.  The advice here is if I want to post about this topic… I need to change the tone of the post.  Because as it stands… it’s just not there.

DECK USED:  TAROT SIRENE

 

 

 

Don’t Forget to Chill

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was another of the harp strings meditations.  It was interesting that I didn’t fall asleep even though I was able to keep my mind open and quiet throughout the ten minute meditation today.  Perhaps this is because I was visualizing the growth of a plant from seed to bloom during that ten minute period.

Herbal TarotFirst off, I’ve decided to forego using the Japaridze Tarot for my daily card for the rest of the month.  I think it is better suited to readings involving more than a single card, so I have put it into rotation with the rest of the decks I am working with for readings this month instead.

Today’s draw is the Star card, which is traditionally interpreted as a card indicating themes of hope and faith, renewal, balance, and spirituality through connection with divinity.

What stands out to me today in the imagery of this card is the flowing design of trees in the background matching up with the flow of water from the pitcher in the foreground, and the blooming  Skullcap plant growing behind the woman.

Scutellaria lateriflora is a mild sedative that assists in creating a feeling of calm and peace for the mind and body. With this card following the Tower, the introduction of Skullcap provides a calming influence to follow the chaos and upheaval.  This is further reinforced by that flow of blue between the woods in the background and the water in the foreground.  With water being connected to emotions, the message that I come away with from this card today is about taking a breath and fostering calm.

There’s been a few distressing things going on of late with the attempted home invasion, the riots, and the very distressing customer experience this week… my anxiety is a little bit higher than normal.  The appearance of this card in my daily pull today is a reminder to step back and take a breath… or three.  Take some time to foster a little bit of extra calm in your life.

DECK USED:  HERBAL TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJune Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I foster more creativity in my life?

Fanuna's Tarot

Reading Summary: Just do it (Knight of Swords). Open your eyes to help that is there for you (Five of Pentacles) and involve others in the process (Three of Cups).

Take Away: Honestly?  Although my creative pursuits are usually solitary, since I’m going to be playing with fire with the whole wood burning thing… involving others might not be such a bad idea.  I do have a bit of a reputation with fire, after all, and I’d hate to accidentally torch my condo.   By having someone there to spot or keep watch, it will give me more freedom not to worry about that aspect of things so much.

DECK USED:  FAUNUNA’S TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJun2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What can I do to help my inner adolescent feel less neglected?

Phantasmagoric Theater TarotReading Summary:   Being negative (Nine of Swords) about admirable stuff (Four of Wands) is leaving my inner adolescent set adrift (imagery in The Star).

Take Away:  Okay, so… I struggled with this one a bit.  And it turns out that it was a bit of a double whammy using this deck for this question because I struggle reading this deck in the tarot manner… and I’m not particularly connected to my inner adolescent.  So it was a bit of a roadblock.    I did find the meaning, but it took a bit.

What would help my inner adolescent feel less neglected is if I stopped negating praise and admiration when it comes my way.   I enjoy praise… I even need praise sometimes. And yet, I feel ashamed whenever I receive praise and feel good from it. By ashamed, I mean that I feel like I shouldn’t need it or enjoy it.  Even if I choose not to connect to my inner adolescent, I can help him feel less neglected by making an effort to not allow that shame such a stronghold.

DECK USED:  PHANTASMAGORIC THEATER TAROT

#TheJuneTarot Challenge by Lionhart
Question: Where/How am I being asked to take better care of myself?

Dream Raven Tarot

Reading Summary:  It’s okay to take some time (Hermit) to work through your money issues, but make sure if you do so, you have a plan in place to lead you through the uncertainty the work will take you through.

Take Away:  This reading has to do with shadow work and my issues with scarcity and overwhelming need for stability and security.   I know that the cards say that this is a way I can better take care of myself, by exploring and working through these issues… but I really don’t feel that I am at a place yet where shadow work is the right path for me.  I do think this issue is a good suggestion on where to start when I’m ready, though.

DECK USED:  DREAM RAVEN TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What do I need to stop?

Japaridze Tarot

Reading Summary: Leaning so hard on myself and my craft (Eight of Gardens). When I do this, it has a habit of burning me out (Ten of Winds) and making me need to retreat (The Hermit).

Take Away:  The card here indicates a cycle.  It is that cycle of leaning into my work so hard that burnout creeps in and fucks me up to the point I have to drop everything and recover… then start again.   This is what I need to stop, and is a pattern of behavior I’m trying to find a way to ease up on in my life.

DECK USED:  JAPARIDZE TAROT

Moderation… In Good Times too

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was cut short by the appearance of the sandman.  He cracked me over the head with his bat while I was settled in for my meditation and I ended up sleeping for three damn hours!  Which, of course, set me back on getting the rest of my tasks for the day done.   I never really did catch up but instead just carried some of those tasks forward to be done another day. I’ll try to meditate again when I go to bed.

Herbal TarotToday’s draw is the Four of Pentacles, which is traditionally interpreted as themes of stability and structure, shelter and ease, as well as taking time for reassessment concerning the areas of finances, resources, health, and the physical world. It can also indicate greed, although I do not see that in this card’s depiction.

What stood out to me the most strongly in the imagery of today’s card is the sprig of Rhamnus purshiana, and the wimple that the woman is wearing.  I’ve had this deck for… seventeen years now?  Possibly eighteen years.  And I’ve never been able to connect the Cascara bark in this card to the RWS meaning for the Four of Pentacles.  The thing is?  Rhamnus purshiana is a laxative (thus the depiction of an outhouse in the background of the imagery).   And… that just doesn’t “fit” for me with the stability within the Four of Pentacles. Perhaps if you consider greed a form of constipation?

Anyway… I digress. Back to today’s interpretation.

The wimple is a demonstration of modesty, and the crown one of wealth.  Combined with the sprig of the Cascara tree, what I see here is a message concerning moderation.  It is a reminder that even when you are feeling that everything is stable and secure, you need to remain modest in the use of your resources and put a little something away for later.

DECK USED:  HERBAL TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJune Challenge Prompt
Question: What in my life is ending to make way for something new?

Happy Tarot

Reading Summary: Feeling so pessimistic (Four of Cups) about my work (Eight of Pentacles), and all of the fearful/painful/worried and upset (Three of Swords) that rose up over the winter (blue background on the Three of Swords).

Take Away:  These cards are about the letter, and my response to the threat of what those that sent that letter to me could take away from me. The cards here are letting me know that this time of fear and the influences that the letter had upon my thoughts (and emotional reactions to those thoughts) is finally coming to an end. This will then allow my true skills (Eight of Pentacles at the center) to begin to shine through again.

DECK USED:  HAPPY TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJun2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How does my inner adolescent feel right now?

Tarot of a Moon GardenReading Summary: In need of some adulation (Six of Staffs) concerning my ingenuity (Ace of Swords) and responsibility concerning my financial stability (King of Pentacles).

Take Away: Okay so this sounds completely ridiculous to me.  But, then again?  As noted yesterday, I’m not particularly connected to my inner adolescent.  So maybe it does need a bit of praise and recognition for my responsibility and ability to keep life as much on an even keel as possible.

I guess on further consideration that it might actually make sense.  I did not get a lot of positive reinforcement when I was under my parent’s roof, and after I emancipated from them at the age of sixteen, I definitely wasn’t getting that positive reinforcement from anywhere else. So perhaps it’s not that far fetched that my inner adolescent would seek what it had not received when I was growing up.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF A MOON GARDEN

#TheJuneTarot Challenge by Lionhart
Question: Draw one card, and use its theme to celebrate your growth or journey.

Tattoo Tarot Ink and Intuition

Reading Summary: You do you real damn well.

Take Away:  This is about following my inner compass and what feels right for me, regardless of outside influences that try to pull me astray.  This card is a celebration of my journey through life and willingness to discard what feels wrong and, in doing so, stay upon my own path.   I like the person I am, I am proud of who I am and who I have become.  I am a work in progress, yes… but I am happy with where things have come to thus far and where I am headed.  I feel secure and right upon my personal path… the Judgement card pulled here today is about that steadfast direction and strength it takes to follow my moral compass… no matter what.

DECK USED:  TATTOO TAROT INK AND INTUITION

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What do I need to start?

Trippin Waite Tarot

Reading Summary: Take a chill (Four of Swords) while doing something you’re not good at (Eight of Pentacles Rx) and gain emotional strength and stability from the experience (Queen of Cups).

Take Away:  I need to start setting aside some time to work on the wood burning now that the weather is better and I can spend some time outside on my balcony working on it rather than inside (less of a fire hazard outside, and no ventilation concerns). All of the supplies that I need are now here, so it’s time to take a bit of time to just enjoy myself and let my creative juices flow.

DECK USED:  TRIPPIN’ WAITE TAROT

 

Patience Can Be Progress

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was fifteen minutes long and was tagged on to the end of my yoga session.  I needed a little extra time stretching today, so instead of taking time aside from my yoga, I extended my yoga practice and incorporated the meditation into it with the addition of some breathing and focusing exercises.

Japaridze TarotToday’s draw is the King of Gardens (King of Pentacles) which is traditionally interpreted as a representation of measured authority, abundance earned through self discipline, business acumen, and financial/resource security.

What stood out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card this morning is the blue/black hue of the figure’s face and that the folds on the back of the head looked like a different face to me… and I am left confused. Honestly, the imagery in this card is much like the imagery in the Hermit card in this deck.  Confusing and a bit too random and abstract.  Even in the aspect that I picked out of this card, I really am at a loss.

So, going by the traditional meaning of the card rather than off of the imagery, what I see as the  message in today’s card is a reassurance of sorts.   It is a reassurance that I am doing all I can at this time to provide stability and security in my home to those that depend on me, as well as for myself.

No, my mortgage is definitely not getting paid off at the rate I would prefer it to be, but at the same time?  I am still managing to keep up on it.  I’m still managing to keep everyone safe, and put food on the table, and keep us all in the resources we need to be healthy and happy.  Today’s card is a reminder to acknowledge for myself that I’m doing a good job.

DECK USED:  JAPARIDZE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJune Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I better cope with ambiguity?

Tarot of the Animal Lords

Reading Summary: By not getting frustrated (the cage in the Three of Swords), but instead treating it with understanding (Queen of Chalices) and patience (Knight of Pentacles).

Take Away:  Usually, ambiguity frustrates me, and that creates a divide between me and the source of that ambiguity.  Instead, if I confront this behavior with understanding, it will create a deeper connection with the source of that ambiguity which will facilitate the potential for progress, while patience will help in getting where I want to go regardless of the wishy-washy bullshit. 

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE ANIMAL LORDS

#DiscordTarotholicsJun2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I better connect with my inner adolescent?

Bleu Cat TarotReading Summary: I am not really all that connected at all with my inner adolescent, which is where the Death card comes into this spread, as it is an indication that I will have to enact change in order to find that connection.

The Queen of Fishes with the Magician indicates that I need to take the emotional growth and lessons I’ve learned lately and use them as tools to apply to the cause (Eight of Balls).

Stalker note… the Queen of Cups seems to be getting very friendly with me this week.

Take Away:  I never really had much of an adolescence.  I was too busy being an adult.  Because of the suppression of this part of my development, I’ve never had much of a connection to this highly underdeveloped side of myself.  The cards here indicate that if I want to have a connection there, it will require long term commitment to the changes needed and using my emotional skills to build that bridge.  

Honestly?  I don’t think that I am yet at the stability phase of my current emotional growth to where I’m prepared to try and make that connection.  Not yet anyway.

DECK USED:  BLEU CAT TAROT

#TheJuneTarot Challenge by Lionhart
Question: Draw a card for someone who taught you a lesson.

Tarot SireneReading Summary:  I didn’t specify the person, but rather used the cards to tell me who the person is.   The person in these cards is my meth-head ex. His very selfish Knight of Cups pursuit of me landed him in the Justice system (thank the fuck).

Take Away:  So anyway, yeah.  This is him.  And the lesson here?  Listen to your inner compass when it tells you to step back.  I stuck around far too long and paid for it deeply. If I had listened to my instincts and inner compass?  I’d have dumped his ass a lot sooner and probably been able to circumvent the whole obsessive bullshit that followed.  Moral of the story?  Listen to your gut… don’t hesitate or procrastinate.  Just do it.

DECK USED:  SIRENE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What have I let go of?

Tarot Mood

Reading Summary: Using going to bars (Three of Cups) and alcohol (vodka reference in Temperance) to avoid crash-and-burn emotions (The Tower)

Take Away:  It used to be that when I was super upset, instead of grounding and spend time with my plants… I would drink. At those times vodka was my friend, and yet never really solved anything and the feel better was only temporary. After making the promise to you not to do anymore drinking (because I clearly only drink for the wrong reasons), I began using my balcony and the plants there as a refuge and for grounding during times of high distress.

DECK USED:  TAROT MOOD