student tarot v5

Sink Into It

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes and nine seconds, and focused on the mindset of scarcity.   Struggling with a lack mentality is many times what causes people to overextend, overspend, over-commit, etc.    When in this mindset, always wanting more makes it difficult to be  happy and at peace.

This is a mentality that I personally struggle with quite a lot.  This and the fear of loss are the reasons that I work so much and push myself beyond my limits.  I fear losing my home.  I fear losing my security and comfort.   Having been in the situation where I was without so much, including a place to live for a while, it is what pushes me more than anything else.  And perhaps in some ways, these motivations are a good thing.

But, I DO understand that when that mindset of scarcity takes over, it can become problematic both to one’s physical health as well as mental health.

In the guided meditation, it speaks of a method to remove yourself from this mindset by focusing on gratitude rather than needs.   I think this is a really good message, and I have over the past few months really stepped up in my mindfulness concerning gratitude, although I’m not sure that it is helpful in my issues with scarcity, as gratitude can sometimes makes me feel like I want to hold on tighter to what I have.

This is an ongoing struggle for me and there is no resolution today, just a meandering wander through my thoughts on the matter.

Today’s draw is the 12th card in the Major Arcana, the Hanged Man.   This is a card that is near and dear to my heart, and one of my “deal breaker” cards for a deck.  (Meaning that if I don’t like the Hanged Man card in a deck, chances are very good I don’t and/or won’t want it.)   Like all cards in the Major Arcana, this card deals with one’s experiences as a whole and their journey on the path of life rather than just one aspect of that journey.

The Hanged Man is a representation of change in perspective, and taking a pause to look at something from all angles, as well as surrender and letting go.  In the Major Arcana, I view this card as the one that I most often relate to above all others, as it is the goal of looking at things from multiple perspectives that is one of the tenants of my life.  Life is not one dimensional, and although I may not agree with all view points, I very much want to be able to -see- them, understand them, and then decide for myself whether or not they “fit” for me or if I can take some greater understanding away from them.

The Hanged Man teaches, though, that sometimes in order to adjust your perspective, you must relax and sink into a receptive state of surrender.  If your walls are up, your mind and heart closed, then nothing is gained and nothing will change.  And that is very much a part of what the Hanged Man is all about… personal change.

That openness is the message in today’s card.  Early in the year, I was having a real problem with this.  With everything blocked and clogged up by the depression that slipped away with most of my spring, I remember feeling as if I was far more closed minded than I liked, and I very much disliked that in myself.   It’s not a mindset that I’m very familiar with, as although I am quite stubborn, I have a deep seated need to grasp other’s perspectives and it is one of the main ways in which I better relate to other people, as well as learn and grow.

I have found that lack of flexibility opening up in the months since the depression’s retreat, and the appearance of this card brings a conscious awareness to this aspect of the process of “getting back to myself”.

Deck Used: Student Tarot v5

The Bunny Rabbit

/ Twist the Leaf / 3 Comments

Today’s meditation was ten minutes and six seconds, and focused on reflecting upon those that have contributed to your life and assisted you in both the small ways and large ones in getting you to where you are now.

It began with a moment’s reflection on yourself and a mindful moment of gratitude for who you are and what you have, then upon those that have influenced your life and your path.

I am one of those people who feel that there is absolutely nothing in my past that I would change.  I feel that even the bad things that have happened have assisted in my growth and development, creating the man I am today, the moral compass that resides in my head, heart, and gut, as well as the circumstances I find myself in, which could always have turned out much worse.

One different choice, one slight step to the left or the right, and things would have changed… and perhaps not for the better.   I am grateful for what I have and for every day I’ve experienced, and every step along my path.  Without them, I would not be me, and…. not to sound egocentric, but I like who I am.

This mindset made today’s meditation focus very easy for me, and it was both a comforting and relaxing session.

Today’s draw is the Queen of Pentacles, which is a representation of…. loses his train of thought.

Bunny!

*Clearing his throat.*  Right, then.   The Queen of Pentacles is a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the areas of the physical world, resources, finances, and earthly delights.

Geez.. I’m really stuck on the bunny today.  OK… the bunny.  Lets do this by intuition today, then.

When this card came up today, she looked like she was sleeping on her throne instead of looking down at the pentacle she holds.  And then the bunny popped out of the picture for me and I haven’t been able to get my mind off of it since.

A common theme in the symbolism of rabbits is fertility.  Obviously, we aren’t going to take this literal, as… hello.  Only one nut and absolutely no ovaries to be seen over here, even if I was playing hide the sausage, which I am so not even going there.  Other definitions of fertility, though, include creativity and abundance.  And here is where today’s Queen of Pentacles is leading.

x9ii0fy4

I made a diagram for you, man, cuz I knew you were going to ask.

From the rabbit combined with the napping queen on her throne, the message I get from today’s card is to realize that I have enough and let up a little bit.   I have plenty, and everything is moving along just fine.  There is no need to kill myself with work or worry.  Relax.  Rest.  Restore.  And, once refreshed, head back at it with a new sense of energy and creativity.

I hear you, little bunny.  Loud and clear.

Deck Used: Student Tarot v5

 

Old Habits Die Hard

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes and fifty six seconds, and focused on dealing with failure.  Everyone deals with failure from time to time, and the key to moving past it is to look at failures as a lesson to be learned, rather than internalizing failure into a reflection of you and your worth.

My mindset on doing something… anything, really, is that I will push myself as hard as I can.  Try my best to do the very best that I can.   That way, IF I end up failing, I can’t look back and say “Well, that was a waste of time.  I could have done better.”     Instead, when I fail, I can look back and see where I can improve and either make changes to my approach the next time or accept that perhaps what I was striving for just wasn’t meant for me.    Because I gave it my all, there is no doubt that I “could have done better” somehow.  I know that I did my best.

I think if more people looked at things in this way, there would be far less people out there “half assing” shit.  And far less people putting themselves down when they eventually fail at something.

This isn’t to say that I don’t get bummed sometimes when I stumble across failure.  I do.  But it’s extremely rare that I internalize it as a reflection on me on a personal level.

In the guided meditation, failure was presented as an opportunity for growth, but also as something you separate yourself from (much like rejection was approached in a recent Supportive Tarot topic).   In this approach, you work to view failure not as a reflection on YOU personally (ie: your personality or worth), but rather a failure of the method.

Today’s draw is the Knight of Cups, which is a representation of a projective beta energy, personality, or person in the area of emotions, relationships, intuition, and creativity.

A lot of times in readings I see this card as the charmer in the bar, full of flattery and lacking substance.  Or rather, his aim in the moment lacks substance, right?  He’s not after the long term, he just wants to feel good and in the process, his emotional manipulations and machinations will make -you- feel good too… for the time being, anyway.

This card, of course, represents far more than that, and I don’t think that is the message in the card today.

Today, the Knight of Cups is telling me to get in touch with my emotions.  Emerging from the subdrop, sometimes I find myself backsliding into  my old stand-by habits of closing myself off emotionally.    Today’s card is a reminder to actively keep an eye on this and stay open… to you, to others, and to the world at large.

 

 

An Appreciative Mindset

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes and thirty eight seconds long, and focused on getting the most out of your meditation practice by carrying it beyond just those few minutes in which you are with in meditation.

This involves the practice of taking a moment just to stop and “smell the roses” and be mindful of where you’re at during the day, or perhaps using breathing techniques during times of stress in order to retain some semblance of calm.

The fact is, if you are meditating on a regular basis and not feeling as if you are making any progress… chances are you have not carried your practice beyond just that time spent meditating. In order to get the most out of one’s meditation practice, it is necessary to take what is learned within your daily practice out into the world with you on the day to day.

Today’s draw is the Three of Cups, which is a representation of harmony, collaboration, communication, cooperation, and “good times” in the area of emotions, intuition, creativity, imagination, and relationships.

The Three of Cups is a”live in the moment” card. It is all about finding that “groove” with others and reveling in it.  In fact, it has a bit of a hint of revelry to it all on its own.

The appearance of the Three of Cups in today’s draw is a reminder to be grateful for what I have and relish the present.   It speaks of appreciating not just the situation of the now, but also the people I am surrounded with and share my life with, collaborate with, and spend time with.

 

The ‘Us’ Card

/ Twist the Leaf / 2 Comments

Today’s meditation was 10 minutes long, and focused on making a choice to reside in the present and mindful in the moment, rather than allowing future worries and concerns or past traumas to pollute your mind and emotions with stress and anxiety.

Sometimes, in the face of stress over the future, we forget just how sweet the current moment is.   Today’s meditation was a reminder to stay mindful of the present and don’t get carried away with things that are either already over, or have not even come yet into existence.

Today’s draw is the Three of Pentacles, which is a representation of collaboration, cooperation, and the small gains and growth in the area of the physical world, finances, manifestation, and resources.

The Three of Pentacles reminds me of our relationship.  Not that there are three people in our relationship, but rather that there are three entities… the you, the me, and the us.

This is not the suit of emotions and relationships, mind you.   That would be the suit of Cups.  But, I feel that this suit fits our relationship better.  For me, our relationship isn’t based on emotions.   I’m not saying that love and emotions are not there, as they absolutely are.  I’m saying that our relationship feels like home.  Solid.  Substantial. Supportive. Stable.  All of these are a reflection of the suit of Pentacles, and that, to me, is where our relationship resides.

The Three of Pentacles speaks of how differences come together to create something better, collaborating in a way that each side contributes its own particular brand of expertise to the whole.   The you, the me, and the us.

Each on our own are forces to be reckoned with, and we are both very, very different.  But, what we have built together is also its own thing.  It is “US” and that, too, is powerful and strong in its own right.  It is the blend of two that creates something with a life of its own.  Our life.

Today’s appearance of the Three of Pentacles isn’t a lesson, but simply a reminder to appreciate the us… and the you… and the me.   All three distinctive factors, unique and essential in their own right, that when combined together create something bigger and more beautiful than any one could have done on its own.

I love you.

 

Be a Nice Boy

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and focused on clarity of the senses.

This is the conscious act of taking time to pay attention to both the world around you and your own body, rather than allowing disinterest to muffle the things that you are experiencing.

This is especially important when feeling like the world is a drab and boring, and there is nothing new of interest to capture and hold one’s attention. At these times a lot of people take trips or go on vacations, but that really isn’t necessary in order to refresh one’s view of the world. What is needed is to focus on and appreciate the little things. That is what clarity of the senses is all about.

Bearing down on the little details, sort of like putting on a new pair of glasses after getting a new prescription, allows you to see things from a new perspective and appreciate the complexity and beauty of even something so small as a crack in the pavement.

This is along the same theme as yesterday’s forest bathing, although you are taking this awareness with you back into your regular life rather than leaving it behind in the forest.

Today’s draw is the Five of Wands and the 15th card in the Major Arcana, the Devil card. No the card is a jumper, as they both came out together.

The Five of Wands is a representation of struggle and strife, tests and trials, harshness, discord, and conflict in the area of one’s ambitions, drive, willpower, and passion.

The Devil card is a representation of temptation and the shadow self. This card, like all major arcana cards, does not represent a certain aspect of life but rather the larger picture as a whole.

As part of the subdrop, I found myself with a tendency to feel a bit snippy this morning when interacting with other people. Today’s draw is a reminder that this temptation will only lead to conflict, and seeking out conflict… or inspiring conflict, will only lead to a crappier day and the emergence of more of my shadow self self.

This is a cycle that will continuously feed upon itself. It is a cycle that I need to be aware of today, so that I can avoid it and have a more pleasurable day, as well as to avoid affect other’s days in a negative way.