Stolen Child Tarot

Sometimes Shit Falls Apart

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and focused on how the benefits of a calm mind created by daily meditation assists in a better life.

This was a very apropos topic, considering the card that I pulled today (more on that below), but I do agree with the topic for the guided meditation today.   I have noticed that on the days where I do not manage to fit my meditation in during my morning routine, that the day seems harder, longer… and just overall a bit more stressful.

On a side note, something else I’ve noticed is that if I hit the snooze in the morning… I feel way crappier when I get up (and throughout the day) than I do if I just get my ass out of bed when the alarm goes off the first time.    I think I’m going to have to ban myself from hitting snooze, or rolling back over for more sleep when I wake up early on a day I don’t need to.

Today’s draw is the Tower card of the Major Arcana.  This is a card that is representative of sudden, abrupt, and unavoidable change.  I think that a lot of people look at this card and have an immediate “oh shit” moment, and honestly?  Me too.  Not because I think it is a bad card.  I don’t.   But, like many people, I hate the process of change.  The end result?  Probably great… usually great.  You adapt and you move on.   The process?  That shit sucks.

When I look at this card, I see that ‘oh shit’ moment.   I see the struggle, as the beavers prepare to fell the tree and the bird that called the tree home grabs what he can and makes a run for it.

What I see isn’t something I see.  It’s something I feel when I look at the card, but am unable to pick apart and explain HOW I get there.   And that is that evolution is inevitable and required.   Shit has to fall apart in order to make way for better shit to come forth.  Sometimes?  It feels like the end of the world, but like the depression that sometimes nips at my heels and at other times swallows me whole… there IS an end to the chaos, and things always fall back into balance again in the end.   The key is to ride it out, and strive to stay safe through the process.

Deck Used: Stolen Child Tarot

 

Rest and Recovery

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Today’s meditation…. turned into a nap.  It wasn’t intentional, but that’s how it went.  It was just a really stressful and very long day, and once I managed to stay still and quiet my mind, the sandman cracked me on the head and sent me to sleep.

Today’s draw was the Ten of Zephyrs, which is a representation of endings, restoration, and resurrection (among other more negative connotations) in the areas of intellect, the mind, logic, education, and instinct.  Some of the more negative meanings include resisting closure, painful endings, deep wounds, and betrayal.  The other side of this coin, though, is that it is also a card of recovery, healing from said wounds, and moving on.

What I saw (and see) in this card today is not a predator looking over prey, but rather that the vulture is watching over the birdboy as the boy rests and recovers from whatever has washed him out so egregiously.   It reminds me of you, and of our current situation as you watch over me and care for me while I not just recover from the drop, but work at bolstering myself for the trip coming up at the end of the month.

I know you are there.  I know you are watching.   You make me feel safe enough to let my guard down and work on myself, even with that keen gaze upon me the whole time.  For you?  Vulnerability is okay.

I love you.

Deck Used: Stolen Child Tarot

Bringing Inner Wisdom Into Battle

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and focused on making sure that you do not get swept up into the fray of things to the point that you forget to take a step back now and then and some time for yourself.

I think this is a good reminder, as I know that I am guilty of this.   I had a little mini-rant earlier because the message in my tea this morning was similar (although badly phrased in my opinion) and that will post later this evening, but as a general rule?   I know that I need to have some balance.

I may forget now and then.  I may need constant reminding (as is the reason so many of my card pulls and readings for myself are always pointing in that direction…. but I know it’s important.  I understand its importance.  It’s just something I struggle with regardless of that knowledge.

Today’s draw is a double without a jumper, and one of them is a repeat of yesterday’s card.  (This is after 7 rifle shuffles and then multiple overhand shuffles until the cards fell out.)  That is to say, I drew the Five of Flame along with the second card in the Major Arcana, the High Priestess card.

The fact that the Five of Flame came up again today, and as the topic card instead of as the “details” card, makes it clear that the cards are trying to provide me with some guidance to get to that inner strength that it spoke about in yesterday’s draw.

The “how” of thing is where the High Priestess comes into this equation, and what I see in this card is more than just the High Priestess, but also the Empress.   When I view this card today, what I see is a nurturing directed to what is unseen and beneath the shell.  The High Priestess is the one that has access to what is beneath the shell, the nurturing of the Empress energy is what is needed to be directed there.

I also see this card as a very clear indication that I need to bring one of my decks with me on my trip.   The Five of Flames again speaks to me of a time in which I need to be strong.  The High Priestess card in this case speaks of being in touch with my intuition as a part of that strength.   That by being in touch with my subconscious and intuition during the time when I need that strength, it will only make me stronger.

And so, for the first time (other than that one trip to mom earlier this year) I will, in fact, be traveling with a tarot deck, rather than just a playing card deck.  I have been considering it, but have continued to be uncertain.  I think it is time to commit to that decision and set the indecision and lack of surety aside.

Deck Used: Stolen Child Tarot

 

Messages of Empowerment

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Today’s meditation was fifteen minutes long, and was not a guided meditation.  Instead, I visited my safe space for a time.  It was very relaxing and calming.  Since I woke up with a bit of an anxiety issue this morning that has chosen to ride me for most of the day, I thought the visit to my quiet place was in order.   It helped, but I think I would have been better off going for a hike after the farm instead of coming straight home, and then meditating.

Today’s draw is the Five of Flames, which is a representation of tests and trials, struggle, strife, and conflict in the area of one’s ambitions, passions, and drive.

When I look at this card, I hear it telling me to stand up and be strong.  The hyena-boy’s fist on that bone is a clear indication to me of it being a time to feel my power.   This really goes along very well with yesterday’s Self Care Saturday spread that will post later today, and with a brief reading done by Dee and R on YouTube this morning.

As with these other readings, today’s card is a message of empowerment.  “Stand Strong and Conquer”, it says.   As I ease  from the drop, this is important to keep in mind.  I need to build myself up now to prepare for what is coming at the end of the month, as well as to prepare myself and the business for the holiday season ahead.  In both cases, I need to be feeling stable, strong, and in my element.

Deck Used: Stolen Child Tarot

Bonus Reading

I did the #TarotForGrowthSeptember prompt today from Instagram.

Question: Where am I not guarding myself enough?

Reading Summary: There was once a large and diverse family that existed with the constant threat of violence always just lingering in the eaves.  They were constantly trying to talk over each other and making lots of noise.  The only one of them that was ever happy was the one that found a way to get a bit of solitary time to rest and relax.

Take Away:  If I want to prepare for the visit out east at the end of the month, I need to work on my inner calm and find that place within where I can weather the storm without the constant bombardment of outside influences.

If I can find my inner peace and get well seated and comfortable within it, whatever abusive behavior and words are tossed my way during the week I’m away won’t make such an impact.

Deck Used: Dixit Pack #6 Memories

 

Project Strength

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and focused on getting in touch with one’s compassion for yourself and for others.

To be entirely honest?  I wasn’t listening.  I was drifting on my breath and very much in my own space throughout the meditation and I missed the message entirely other than a few snippets about projecting compassion first upon yourself, then out into the world.

Today’s draw is the Six of Flame, which is traditionally a representation of vitality, cooperation and harmony as well as “humanity issues and limitations” in relation to one’s ambitions, passions, drive, and willpower.  This card often comes up in relation to success, both private achievements and public recognition, self confidence, and at times, over confidence and ego.

That is not so much what I feel from this card, although there is a hint of it in the above.  I see a lamb in wolf’s clothing, tail tucked between the legs as they move through the night. I see the moon smiling.  I feel that today this card is more about taking time for yourself and watching your back as you show the world a display of strength regardless of how vulnerable the insides may feel.

Sometimes in life you have to put on the wolf’s clothing just to make it through the day, and sometimes you have to do it to get through what’s coming.  That is what I see here.

I am coming up on a trip that is going to be somewhat unpleasant.  I know this.  And I know I need to be in a place of strength when I go.  This card is telling me that even if I feel small, I can still project that powerful outer shell.

There has been a creeping trepidation coming in as the time to go gets closer and closer.  Today’s card is a reassurance that I am strong and I will make it through.  I may need a bit of adaptation, I may need to present a bit of a facade along the way… but the moon smiles in the sky and I will make it through.

Deck Used: Stolen Child Tarot

 

Wear Waders and Keep Climbing

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and twenty two seconds long, and dealt with healing from shame.

I want to say that the only time  ideal with shame is the kind that comes during my ultra vulnerable moments of the drop, but that’s not entirely true I don’t think.  This is because the meditation today made me wonder if that feeling that I describe as “discomfort” that I still experience concerning the scar on my face isn’t, in fact, shame.

Muffled shame.  Partially healed shame.   But still…. shame.

I’m not entirely sure, to be honest.  But this is the second time in as many months that I’ve wondered this, and so I think it’s something to consider.

I do not agree with the quote given in today’s guided meditation, though.  I do not thin that sharing your shame with a sympathetic and empathetic ear will miraculously make it disappear.  Shame, especially that caused by trauma, just doesn’t heal up that quickly or that easily.  At least, not in my experience.

Today’s draw is the Page of Flame, which is a representation of an receptive omega energy in the area of one’s passions, drive, ambitions, willpower, and inner spark.  This is a card of learning and development, and often comes up in relation to the spark of inspiration, the limitlessness of potential in a person or situation, and sometimes the unnecessary limits we put upon those people or situations.

In my mind, I always see the Page of Wands (Page of Flame in this deck) as a boy with a huge and infectious smile standing proud on a hilltop with a bonfire behind him and sparks flying up into the air around him in all directions.  I’m pretty sure this isn’t from any deck I’ve seen but is, instead, simply my own mental image of that card’s energy.

That said?  I think this deck’s card is a spectacular representation as well.   In this card I see the transformative power of life and positivity.  The caterpillar, the chrysalises, the butterflies in his hair.  The new buds of growing rack reaching up from the top of his head.  The lush carpet of new green sprouts.   All of it speaks to me of a time of newness, transformation, and growth.

I’ve been feeling my inner self trying to shut down and shut itself in over the past few days.  That vulnerable space is starting to get to me.  Perhaps too many drops too close together?   This card points out very clearly that shutting down is happening, and encourages me to keep up the good fight and not to let myself sink into the suck of the mud and muck.

Deck Used: Stolen Child Tarot