My Cards Have BRS (Broken Record Syndrome)

Ikigai Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and focused on the Japanese concept of Ikigai, which is is a term that is used to indicate the source of value in one’s life or the things that make one’s life worthwhile.

This was interesting, and more so because just yesterday Becca put up a video about finding one’s legacy in life, which is a similar concept, because I think if you discover and foster your Ikigai, you are building that legacy.

As I said in Becca’s video last night, I don’t really have any family I connect with other than my twin sister and my mother, and I sincerely doubt I will have a very significant legacy in any direct way. I think my legacy will be in a more esoteric way… and delivered through those things that make up my ikigai.

That is to say, the things I do, the interactions I have, the things that I create… they are like little pebbles dropped in a pond, creating ripples that spread outward.  Sometimes these ripples rock boats along the way and influencing other things in some small ways, sometimes the ripples join with other’s ripples and become waves of change beneath the water and upon the shore. That is my legacy.

Halloween Tarot Today’s draw is a double without a jumper, which is to say that they came out together as one.   The cards in today’s draw are the Six of Ghosts (Cups) and the Death card.

My intuitive reaction to these cards a carry over from the messages in yesterday’s Self Care reading.  I need to take some time for myself to seek out the things I enjoy and the small pleasures in life, I need to pay attention to them and really sink into them while I can.  Because, by doing so during this time, I will be nourishing myself and thus preparing myself for the change to come (the busy season starting next month).

(Side note… I think the reason that I ended up with so many jumpers and doubles in yesterday’s Self Care spread is that they were seeking to provide clarity and make sure I couldn’t misinterpret the cards and sway them in a “preferred direction”.   They are essentially saying “you’re not listening, so lets spell it out for you”.)

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.

Question: Where may I benefit from a new perspective?

Halloween Spirit Tarot Reading Summary:  (Noting that I am being stalked by the Six of Cups recently.)  Emotions concerning past experiences (Six of Cups) and habits learned that need to be changed (Page of Swords) concerning working with others (Three of Pentacles).

Take Away:  Sometimes you need other’s abilities, knowledge, and expertise to get things done (and done well).  I’ve had some bad experiences when it comes to working with others, and it pollutes my perceptions of the process and my feelings concerning doing so in the future.  The cards are telling me that I need to consider a new perspective, and work at getting to a place where I would be open to trying again sometime in the future.

Deck Used: Spirit Tarot (by Spencer’s Gifts Halloween Spirit Store)

Loosen Up

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and I had a very difficult time focusing.  I can’t even really remember what she was talking about in this one, because my mind kept flitting off in different directions and needing to be pulled back in again.   I did stay through the entire ten minutes, though, and repeatedly brought my attention back to the now and my breath each time I caught my mind wandering off in one direction or another.

Halloween Tarot Today’s draw is the Six of Ghosts (Cups) which is a representation of harmony, vitality, and nostalgia in the area of the emotions, intuition, and relationships.

When I saw this card today, my intuition did not see nostalgia, which seems to be the most common interpretation of this card.   Instead, what I see is fun and harmony.

Today’s card is a reminder that things don’t have to be so serious all the time. It’s okay to lighten up and have some fun now and then.

This is something that I often forget.  I get so wrapped up in my goals and responsibilities, that I forget to step back and have a laugh and a lark.

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.  I’ve surprisingly managed to keep this challenge going for twelve days now.

Question: Where may I need to release some control?

Deviant Moon Tarot Reading Summary: When you reach a dead end on an idea (Ten of Swords), sometimes you have to start fresh with a new perspective (The Fool), and work at making better choices the second time around (Two of Wands).

Take Away: When I run across an idea that I’ve reached a dead end on, the releasing of control referenced in the question for the reading has to do with letting go of the tight grip I have on that idea, regrouping with a new perspective, and then trying again from a place of discovery.    This is a process that is very difficult for me.  I hate letting go of ideas I get invested in, but like the an untenable position of the fellow in the box of knives on the first card, sometimes its the only way to progress.

Deck Used: Deviant Moon Tarot (Borderless Edition)

 

Trying to Find the Tracks

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and focused on a topic that comes up quite a lot.   That is the topic of meditation being about the practice, not the accomplishment.

Practice is the key word.  We practice.  We do it.  We work at it.  It is a journey.  And meditation is all about that journey, not some imagined finish line or perfection standard that is both unrealistic and unattainable.

Today’s draw is another double without a jumper, which means that they both came out of the deck together.  In fact?  They were so together that at first I didn’t realize there were two.   The cards in today’s draw are the Six of Cups with the Tower card as a jumper.

Dark Mansion Tarot Lollygagging –> Tower Moments

That is what I see.   And honestly, I feel like this is a repeating message lately.  I’m gearing up for the holiday season, but I’m not feeling the “oomph” that I need to prepare for what’s coming.   I know you say that I am super focused on responsibility and goals, and you’re right…. but there’s something missing.  Some part that I’m not connecting with this year, and it’s hindering my progress.   I need to get past it or figure out what it is and work it out, because I would very much like to avoid that crashing chaotic change that the Tower presents.

And that is what these cards are.  They are a warning.  They are not a prediction so much as an indication of what is needed to keep things on track.

Deck Used: Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt again today.  I’m definitely going to try to do the bonus readings every day (or near to it) for the rest of this month.

Question: What relationship(s) in my life encourage growth?

Ghosts & Spirits Tarot Reading Summary: Those that add a little spice and a sense of adventure into my life (Knight of Wands), offer a sense of security and safety (Four of Pentacles), and touch my heart (Knight of Cups).

Take Away:  It’s sort of funny that I was anticipating a far more specific response from the cards for this.  Instead, it gave me the information I need to look at my relationships with others (everyone from my bosses to my friends and loved ones) and examine each with that criteria in mind.  The answer in these cards doesn’t point to any one person or certain relationships, but rather encourages the evaluation of each relationship to find the qualities within them that… fit. This allows for an interesting perspective that I’m definitely going to be taking forward with me through the near future (or beyond).

Deck Used: Ghosts & Spirits Tarot

The Happy Squirrel

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was a full body scan that started at the top of the head and finished at the tips of the toes, going through each body part individually before then expanding your awareness to the body as a whole, and then eventually to your surroundings and all you can experience in the now of that moment.

I enjoyed it, although my mind kept wandering today.  Not on any one subject in particular, just wandering to wander.  I, of course, brought my focus back each time, although I have to admit sometimes it can get a bit frustrating when that happens.

Today’s draw is another double without a jumper, as they both came out of the deck together.  The cards in today’s draw are the Six of Cups (the Deer) and the Happy Squirrel card, which is an extra card in this deck that has placement just after The World card in the Major Arcana.

Intuitively reading these cards, I hear a warning that if I am not careful, sinking into memories of the past can lead down a treacherous path.

I know you will think “how is this a positive”, but the fact that it is brought to the forefront and I have been given a heads up IS a positive, as it encourages me to mind myself and my self care, as well as to remember to keep my eye on the present instead of getting lost in reminiscing on the past.   The Happy Squirrel says that taking that primrose path at this time is a bad idea, as it will lead to somewhere I don’t want to go.

Traditionally, the Six of Cups is a card that deals with recollections, harmonious reminiscing, and that pleasurable glow that comes from good memories in relation to emotions, relationships, intuition, and creativity.   In the guidebook for this deck, the Deer has the keywords of innocence, compassion, insight, security, love, and wonder.

The Happy Squirrel card does not have a traditional meaning, as it is not a traditional card.   You can read more about the Happy Squirrel card here and here, though.

In the guidebook for this deck, the Happy Squirrel has no keywords, only question marks.

Deck Used: The Animism Tarot

 

History’s Quicksand

Today’s meditation was ten minutes and ten seconds, and focused on simplicity and the practice of activity seeking simplicity in one’s life over confusion and complexity.

This meditation goes along really well with the theme of yesterdays Self-Care Saturday spread, which was already posted here on the blog earlier this morning.  In the spread it essentially spoke about the same thing.

The meditation focused on how living more simply and embracing simplicity can help us in avoiding feeling overwhelmed.  Sometimes, I really long for simplicity, and as you know I’ve put in place a plan to be able to ease up a bit in… just about six years.

I know that doesn’t help much right now, but I think that this exercise I do each day along with the meditation practice has definitely helped a lot with that constant feeling of juggling too much and feeling consistently overwhelmed by responsibility.

Today’s draw is yet another double without a jumper, as they came out together. This seems to be the week for double drops… or maybe the month for it? The cards in today’s draw are the Five of Cups (as the deer) and the Six of Cups (as the marbled salamander).

Both of these cards are representations based in the area of emotions, relationships, creativity, and intuition.  The Five of Cups is an indication of struggles, tests, trials, conflict, and harshness, whereas the Six of cups is an indication of vitality, harmony, innocence, and memories.

These themes are reinforced by the animal representations in this deck, as in the guidebook, the deer’s keywords are innocence, compassion, insight, security, love, and wonder.  The marbled salamander’s keywords are awareness, growth, adaptation, faith, endurance, and change.

Combined as they are in today’s draw, these cards are telling me not to let memories of the past drag me down and close me off from the good I have in the present.

Sometimes when the memories come it’s hard to be kind to myself and it’s hard to let go. Memories of Greg and what happened with him.  Memories of the home invasion that happened at the hands of his friend later on.   Memories of the car accidents and recoveries I’ve been through, and the sometimes resentment and other times longing over the things I’ve lost (such as flexibility, a life without chronic pain, my voice, etc).

All of these things are a part of today’s draw, as today’s cards are a reminder that the past in the past for a reason, and although it’s important to learn lessons from the past, I need to remember to not get bogged down by what has happened and let it drag me down here in the present.

Deck Used: The Animism Tarot

 

Fondness… Not Melancholy

Today’s meditation was ten minutes and eleven seconds, and focused on how sound can enhance one’s meditation practice.  It wasn’t in reference to music or chimes, but instead was concerning the organic sounds around you during a meditation such as traffic noise outside, the sound of rain, or footsteps, or hum of others in another room, etc.

In my case, I do not usually have much as far as intrusive sounds.  Although I live in a busy city, live on the far back corner of a building.  This means that most traffic noises, train noises, and other disturbances are muffled by the time they reach my home.  My home is also very quiet.  Because of my ‘crossed wires’ with the synesthesia, I often prefer my home to be silent in order to assist in avoiding sensory overload.  In fact, I often come home after being out with a huge sense of relief as I walk through the door because I know it will be quiet and I am in a place where I can control my environment and sensory input.

OOps, I digress.  Sorry. Noise in meditation…

For me, with the air conditioner turned off and no one home but myself, the only sound my ears could pick up on was my own breathing and just, very faintly, the muffled sound of traffic in the distance.   That sound is something I would describe as a very quiet “whoosh” type of sound with an emphasis on the ‘os’ and the space between those two letters in its pronunciation.  (Probably didn’t make much sense, but there you have it.)

I did not find this sound distracting or disturbing, so I’m not sure that the practice of “accepting sounds into your practice” really applied much for my meditation today.  It was a very relaxing meditation, though, without a lot of intrusive thoughts bouncing around trying to get my attention.

 It’s a new month starting today, and so the Student Tarot v5 has been tucked away and a new deck has been chosen… or rather, two decks have been chosen. The first deck (today’s deck) that I chose I felt was a little too modern and metro for an every day draw for me, especially since I only switch out decks every month for the daily draws, so I chose a second more earthy deck to alternate with (which you’ll see tomorrow).

Today’s draw is the Six of Cups, or what is known in this deck as the “Nostalgia” card. Nostalgia is a good keyword for this card, as in the RWS system the Six of Cups is a representation of innocence, memories, reminiscing, and a sense of playfulness and joy in the area of emotions, relationships, intuition, imagination, and creativity.

For me, this card had a completely visceral reaction.  I didn’t even notice the key word at first, because…. look at that bakery.  Look at that old lady smooshed up against the glass going “oh those look so good. I remember those.”

That’s me.  I’m the old lady.

I’ve really struggled with the dietary restrictions that have come up over the past couple of years.  I need a certain enthusiasm for food in order to keep on weight, and I’m already a good distance below the weight I -should- be maintaining.  Without all that wonderful “crap food” that I used to savor and enjoy so much (but which now will raise my cholesterol too high), keeping my weight up has become a constant struggle.   I miss PopTarts and cupcakes, cookies and Cheetos, Capt’n Crunch and Cocoa Puffs, and french fries…. god I miss french fries SO much.  I miss being able to eat what I want…. ALL that I want, when I want.

The Six of Cups in today’s reading is a reminder that it’s okay to remember these things and how good they were, but don’t let it drag me down.  See all those hearts around that old lady’s head?   Exactly.    Fondness… not melancholy.

Deck Used: The Visions of Life Tarot