playing card reading

Morning Bonus Read – Harvest and Balance

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“This week, talk to your divination tools about harvest and balance.”

Bicycle Magic Playing Cards

Where in my life am I reaping a harvest from the work I’ve put in?
Queen of Diamonds

I am feeling very secure in my “home and hearth” situation at the moment, and I have the ultimate Queen of Diamonds currently living under my roof. (Which is something I couldn’t have financially managed without all the hard work I’ve put in over the years to get me to this point.)  This has made a lot of changes in my life, some of them uncomfortable.  At the same time? I’ve also managed to experience one of those things I’ve always wanted… someone around to cook for me regularly. As I eat so much food each day to maintain my weight, cooking gets to be such a drag after a while.  Having Z here?  Has been amazing in a lot of ways, but if I’m honest?  Especially in this one.

What should I do at this point to preserve this harvest for the winter ahead?
Three of Spades

Do not allow my depression and low moods to linger and drag me down. This is something I have been feeling creep up over the past few weeks, and really struggling with over the past week or so.  The Three of Spades says that when I need to cry, or rant, or throw a bit of a pity party?  Go for it… but don’t linger there. Allow the release to happen and then move past it.

Where in my life do I see balance coming into focus?
Eight of Hearts

Emotionally speaking, there is a need to push for the balance you need rather than allowing it to just float in on its own. Be proactive and work toward what you want here. Balance can happen, but you’re going to have to use willpower and determination to get there.

Where in my life should that balance begin to tip toward and prepare for rest and recovery this winter?
Ten of Diamonds

Like all winters, the holiday rush creates an influx of finances.  With the way this question is posed, the advice of the Ten of Diamonds is to make sure that I don’t get so wrapped up in that feeling of things being flush that I forget to plan for the future.

Where in my life should that balance begin to tip toward and prepare for diving into the holiday rush this winter?
Jack of Diamonds

An echo of the advice given in the above question.  I added this question on to the end of the original questions, as the winter is not a time of rest and recovery for me, but is actually my busiest and most stressful time of the year.   What the Jack of Diamonds says is to hold back and examine my impulses and decisions where my finances and influx of income is concerned rather than just jumping forward irresponsibly or impulsively.

DECK USED:  BICYCLE MAGIC PLAYING CARDS

Morning Bonus Read – Boundaries Redux

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:

“The best boundaries are the ones you set that don’t *require* adherence from anyone else, but rather set up a simple line for your own actions, or a cause-effect line for someone else’s. For example: I will not check messages from my manipulative relative, I will instead have a trusted friend do that for me. Or, If you break my things, then I will not allow you to use them. Etc.
This isn’t always feasible, but when we can set these kinds of boundaries we can take control of and responsibility for those places in our lives.
So this week, chat with your divination tools about your boundaries.”

Ralph Steadman's Flying Dog Playing CardsWhich of my boundaries require someone else to respect them in order for them to work?

Boundary #1 – Queen of Hearts – Allowing others to come to me for support and not having the proper parameters in place.  So then they come to me about stupid shit or stuff I’m ill equipped to deal with and I find myself feeling all sorts of bitchy about it.

Boundary #2 – Ten of Spades – When I am at the end of my rope, on the ground and bleeding, this is not a time for others to come to me with their own shit.

Boundary #3 – Six of Spades – In a way, this boundary is related to the other two.  This boundary is about me, though, and not other people. It has to do with allowing myself the space I need to find a new path when the old one isn’t working for me.

Can I shift any of those to boundaries that do not require anything, but are simple cause and effect boundaries or boundaries on my own actions?

Boundary #1 – King of Diamonds – Take ownership of what I’m open to helping with and what I’m not. It’s okay to say no and send them on their way when someone comes to me with something that’s not in my wheelhouse. I’m not obligated to coddle anyone.

Boundary #2 – Eight of Clubs – Usually these times of bleeding and vulnerability are a time when I retreat from the world. This retreat sometimes encourages people to chase me rather than backing off. Being proactive and outright expressing “now is not the time” is  a better route to ensure these issues don’t happen.

Boundary #3 – Five of Spades –  The thing is?  I expect myself to be able to just move forward into a new path without conflict, but I need to remember that new things take time and debate and a little bit of struggle to work out where you’re going.  Instead of shutting this shit down, it’s a part of the process that needs to be accepted and allowed.

What boundaries can I not shift this way at this point?

Boundary #1 – Ace of Diamonds – This boundary is absolutely able to be shifted simply by changing the way I look at things and approaching the problem with a clear mind instead of just an open heart all on its own.

Boundary #2 – Ace of Hearts – Make sure when you deliver the “this is not the time” news, that you do so with love and kindness. Don’t turn this into a defense mechanism, but rather a way to define that there is a boundary in place so that you’re not overburdening yourself.

Boundary #3 – Three of Clubs – There is no inability to shift this boundary to a way of better handling things, I just need to keep in mind that the goal at these times is to find the direction that is going to align with my values and goals.

What I can do to move toward being able to take control of those boundaries at some point as well?

No cards were pulled on this question, as the previous question indicated that all three boundaries discussed in this reading are able to be shifted at this point.

DECK USED: RALPH STEADMAN’S FLYING DOG PLAYING CARDS

Morning Bonus Read – WTF

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“I found this on Pinterest this week, and loved it, therefore this is your prompt for this week!! Pick a topic, and apply this spread!”

WTF Tarot Spread - Corvid Romantic Playing Cards

Chosen Topic:  My unfounded feelings of trepidation concerning the upcoming holiday rush.

The Face of My Challenge
Six of Feathers

Change.  The face of my challenge is change and the shift of things from one situation to another.  I’m feeling a good deal of discomfort and a need to fall back on old habits.  These old habits are unhealthy and do not serve me at all, but are simply what is familiar.  Instead, I need to make sure I continue to move forward instead of backsliding.

The Crux of What Hounds Me
Ace of Roses

Concern over undoing all the new progress I’ve made this year.  I’ve grown so much over the year, and I am aware that that new emotional growth I’ve been fostering for the past few months is still tenuous and new. I worry that the new beginnings I’ve been fostering are still too delicate to withstand the savage storm of the holiday rush.

What is real about this?
Three of Crystals

I have people to help me and collaborate with me when I need them.  I am not in this alone.  I have the support I need and I need to include them in the process from the beginning, not pull them in later when things are chaotic and a mess.  Allow these people in my life to help so that everything doesn’t rest solely on my shoulders.

What is wrong about this?
Two of Roses

My discomfort and struggle with leaning into those that love me and want to support me.  As mentioned above.  They want to support me.  They want to help.  This discomfort and guilt is useless and is completely unfounded. I understand that this is one of my shadows, and one I will have to deal with over time, but for now I need to keep in mind that these feelings come from within and are not reality.

Where do I need more info?
Six of Crystals

It would be a good idea to delve into in what ways others are willing to help me and be proactive about getting that help… Rather than waiting until I need it and sticking them with tasks that they would prefer not to deal with.  This is about even distribution of the work load so that the help that they are offering is used to its best advantage, and it is a suggestion that has recently come up in a previous reading as well.

What can I do?
Ace of Crystals

Focus on the task at hand, and accept that it’s going to be different this year… and that’s OK. It can lead to better things.

DECK USED:  CORVID ROMANTIC PLAYING CARDS

Morning Bonus Read – Fulfillment, Gratitude, and Joy

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“This week, let’s look at the flip side: fulfillment, gratitude, and joy. Did you know that one of biggest tools against burnout and stress is gratitude? (You know, apart from needed mental health treatment and care.)”

Alchemy England 1977 Playing Cards

Where in my life am I experiencing fulfillment?
Ten of Spades

I’m actually feeling pretty good about myself lately.  It’s about that whole “survival” thing.  The fact that I have been through so much, dealt with so many devastating hurdles, and not just survived them but thrived in their wake.  Remembering this gives me confidence, and a feeling of fulfillment that comes from a sense of accomplishment.

What is something in my life this year that I’m grateful for?
Nine of Diamonds

See, the thing is?  Even though the pandemic has sucked ass, and even though I lost all but one of my part time jobs for a good part of the spring and summer… and have only really picked back up half the work load (working for others) that I had pre-pandemic?  I have been able to adjust my finances to take the brunt of these changes without damaging anything other than the amount of time it will take to pay off my mortgage.

Yes, I want it paid off… but I’m relieved to have spent so much time busting my ass to pay the highest amount possible per payment because it prepared me for what’s going on now… when I need to pay less. Because of this, my situation is still stable… and I’m so grateful for that.

What is something in my life this year that brings me joy?
Seven of Clubs

I’m kickin’ ass, baby.  Building off the previous question in a way, what has brought me (and brings me) joy this year is that I have been able to support not just my lifestyle and those that I love with my efforts, but also continue to keep my business thriving during this time when so much has swung out of sync and is not the norm.

What is something in my life this year that I am succeeding at?
Six of Spades

I am succeeding at finding a better way.  A new path. It has taken a good part of this year to work through the psychological process of letting go of how I have done things in the past.  It’s a struggle not to push myself beyond my limits, and actually allow myself the healing rest and recuperation I need.  Walking away from that highly abusive dynamic I had going on previously is not an easy task, not a quick one.  But I am succeeding at it, one step at a time.

DECK USED:  ALCHEMY ENGLAND 1977 PLAYING CARDS

Morning Bonus Read – Surge Capacities

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“This week I read an article about how all of our “surge capacities” are depleted right now. So! That’s this week’s prompt: some self-diagnosis of our mental and emotional capacities at the moment.”

Bones Playing Cards Dust Edition by Brain Vessel

Am I in or approaching mental burnout?
Queen of Clubs

Not at the moment.  I’m going strong and confident in my path, no particular burdens holding me down or keeping me from fulfilling my potential concerning my passions or my business.

Am I in or approaching emotional burnout?
Five of Hearts

Absolutely. Don’t allow your pessimistic side to take charge and overpower the efforts you’re making toward optimism.  Over the past week or so, that’s something I’ve definitely done, and it’s time to catch what’s going on and get back on the right track before the pessimism drags me down and tries to bury me.

In what ways will I continue to need to operate on “surge capacity” because I don’t have an option?
Ten of Spades

With the holiday rush right around the corner and preparations underway, you’re going to begin to feel the strain of added pressure and crave  that ending that comes at the end of the holidays.  It’s a long way off yet, and you have a long way to go.  Be prepared to accept that if that craving starts showing up early, you’re going to have to push through regardless of feeling you’ve reached the end of your rope.

In what ways am I expecting too much from myself and I can back down?
Two of Diamonds

You don’t have to juggle as much as you are.  When things feel like too much, it’s time to let some of those extraneous activities and responsibilities falling to the wayside.  This includes these readings and other related activities if needed.  You can only juggle so much, and especially during the holiday season, your paying responsibilities have to take priority over everything else.

What is one thing I can do to build my mental and emotional reserves back up?
Three of Hearts and Jack of Diamonds

Take time to slow down and spend time with your loved ones.   It can be hard to slow down, but in doing so you are taking a bit of the strain off  your shoulders instead of leaving yourself in a constant state of pressure.

Also, remember that those that love you want to help, and they want to support you. Make sure that you’re asking them for help when you feel like you’re moving at a crawl.

DECK USED: BONES PLAYING CARDS DUST EDITION BY BRIAN VESSEL

Morning Bonus Read – Lessons

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“This year has been rough for us all, we’re just past the mid point fast approaching autumn.”

General Admission Playing Cards by Kings Wild Project

What lessons have you learned so far?
Seven of Hearts, Queen of Hearts, Nine of Diamonds

Making choices using the heart isn’t as detrimental to that structure an stability I constantly crave that I thought it would be. I can’t say that it’s something I’d want to practice all the time, but it’s okay to choose to be kind to myself instead of pushing all the time. It’s okay to listen to what my heart says I need to instead of constantly directing all decisions through either the head or intuition…. allowing the heart to have a say will not be the end of the world.

How will it aid you in the coming months?
Ten of Hearts atop Nine of Spades, Ace of Hearts, King of Clubs

I will be able to use the emotional fulfillment that allowing my heart have a say provides to combat the hoard of anxiety waiting for me as the holiday rush approaches and then crests to crash over me. The new growth I’ve managed this year emotionally will help to reinforce my drive and determination during that time of heavy pressure and stress.

Take Away – I’ve been avoiding my emotions for the majority of my life, boxing them up, caging them away, and burying them deep. Not just bad emotions, but the majority of my emotions. This year I’ve learned that allowing emotions out to breathe isn’t going to cause everything I’ve worked for to fall down around me. I may not be able to always identify what I’m feeling, but I was wrong about the catastrophic destruction they would inflict upon my life. The cards in the second half of this reading indicate that the emotional growth I’ve experienced this year will result in making me stronger under pressure when it counts the most.

DECK USED: GENERAL ADMISSION PLAYING CARDS BY KINGS WILD PROJECT