#OwlandBonesJuly

Healing is a Process

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and took place out on the balcony.  I needed some fresh air and distance, so I closed myself out there and laid out along the plants and pots to chill for a bit.  I took a lazy amount of time out there, even after the breathing exercises I rolled over to spend some time chilling with the overflowing of thyme I have out there this year, picking buds and cleaning things up.

Herbcrafter's Tarot - Three of AirToday’s draw is the Three of Air (Three of Wands) which is traditionally interpreted as representing themes of heartbreak, disappointment, emotional pain, and depression. These “emotions” do not live in the heart, but within the mind, and this is why although the card appears to be about the emotions, it resides within the Swords suit which is the suit of the mind.

In this card, my eyes are irresistibly drawn to the Echinacea flowers reaching for the sky today, as well as the hint of a rusted roof in the distance of the background.  Echinacea is an immune system booster, and is used in spellcraft as a plant that lends an energy boost to your intent as well as an herb used to promote inner strength. This makes the presence of the plant represented on the Three of Swords card especially relevant, as it transforms the card from a representation of desolation and despair to one of growth and support during difficult times.

The roof holds its own meaning to me when I see it in the imagery of this card today. It speaks to me of a long stretch of time. It takes time to weather a corrugated roof and create those streaks of rust and weathering you see in that small peek you see in the lower left corner of the card. Blended with the Echinacea, it speaks of the fact that sometimes it takes time to heal from disappointments and heartache.  Not everything can be immediate.

This message today is in reference to my journey of healing from “the letter”. It’s been months and months since the letter first arrived, and over six months now since I started confronting the fear and fog that swallowed me whole in response to that letter. It feels like this climb out of that place of fear and desolating doubt.  Today’s card is a message of encouragement and patience. A reminder that true healing takes time, and that’s okay.

DECK USED:  HERBCRAFTER’S TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling with self-worth.
Question:  What three qualities do I associate with what it means to be “a good person”?

Lumina Tarot

Reading Summary: The ability to stay on the straight and narrow despite the shit that tries to tear you down.

I can’t quite break this one down as neatly as I usually do to display how I came to the bare bones of the reading.   What I see here is that the Three of Swords is the topic.  It is what “happens to you” and the basis of this reading.   The King then represents the strength to “stay the course” and the Eight of Wands reinforces single minded purpose  towards the direction I wish to go in seen in the Two of Wands.

Usually when I break apart my reading to display how I get there, I’m able to break it into pieces that fit together into a succinct sentence.  Something about how the Lumina Tarot communicates makes this process a lot more difficult.  I’m not sure why.

Take Away:  So in breaking this down, three of the qualities I associate with being a good person include the strength of will to “stay the course” of one’s beliefs and standards through through times of struggle and heartache, the ability to perceive the direction you want to go in through these times, and the determination to stay on that course.  This is about one’s moral compass and life goals, and about not allowing negativity to steer you away from those values.

DECK USED:  LUMINA TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic:  Banish This / Attract This

Minchiate Etruria Anima Antiqua TarotBanish This – Taurus –  It’s time to let go of your bullheaded stubbornness and rigidity. There is a great deal of inflexibility in you and in order for the growth you want to happen to flourish and really take off, you need to find a way to let go of some of that rigidity.

Attract This – The Grand Duke – Androgyny and a hint of mastery yet to come. The message here is about adaptability, versatility, and growth.  I need to invite these qualities in and allow them to ease the rigidity that is holding me back.  It is possible to hold on to who you are and your moral compass, even as you move through the changes taking place and grow into a better person.

DECK USED:  MINCHIATE ETRURIA ANIMA ANTIQUA TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic:  let in // let out // let go // let rest

Albano Waite Tarot

King of Cups – Let in Gideon, for he is your support and knows you better than all others (except perhaps L). Sometimes, especially when I’m dealing with subdrop, it can be hard to open up.  Feeling so vulnerable makes being so open especially a struggle, but that is what he is there for, to block out the danger so that he and he alone has access to those tender moments and inner knots, and can help me through.

The Empress – Let out into the world my ability to nurture and encourage others. Remember that the creations you make and send out in to the world have power to influence others in positive, nurturing ways. They foster positivity and spread joy, bringing this warmth and energy into the lives of others, sometimes when they need it most, but always with the ability to then spread out from that person to the next and the next.

The Sun – Let go and allow the sun to shine. Don’t allow pessimism to win out. You’ve made he conscious choice to try and move in a more positive direction, to foster positivity and joy in your life. In order for this to happen, you have to allow it.

Ace of Swords – Let rest my harsher nature. That inner critic and the inner dialog that goes on with myself is not healthy.  Pushing it away is not the only path to easing up on this.  Letting it rest is another method worth exploring.

DECK USED:  ALBANO WAITE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I capture my best ideas?

Wheel of the Year Tarot

Reading Summary: Take time to examine them from all angles (The Hanged Man), pick them apart and judge them harshly (Queen of Swords) in order to challenge their worth (Five of Wands).

Take Away:  This is more about how to sort out the best ideas from the not as great ones. It’s one of those times where that shrewd judgement and harsh sight comes in handy as it allows me to pick apart an idea down to its bare bones and look at all the drawbacks and other pitfalls it might have.   If it can make it through that process and come out the other side, it is truly worthy of exploring further.

DECK USED:  WHEEL OF THE YEAR TAROT

Familiar Comforts

/ Twist the Leaf / 2 Comments

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and I admit that I was a little distracted because I was eager to get out and go hiking. I did a second meditation in the woods lying naked on the forest floor in the mountains before going above the treeline, and that was much more relaxing. Although I didn’t time it, I would estimate the meditation probably lasted about half an hour… maybe a bit longer.

Cosmos Tarot and OracleToday’s draw is the Ten of Air (Ten of Swords) which is traditionally read as “the end of the line” of the tragedies of the Swords suit and is a culmination of the suit’s struggles.  It indicates themes that have to do with defeat, betrayal, and wounds that cut deep.

What stood out strongest to me in the imagery of this card today is the defeated slump of Medusa’s posture, but even more so… the snake that is closest to her face which then brings my attention to the others in the light… and from there the others yet still hidden in the shadows. In noticing this I feel that they must offer some sort of comfort.  They have been with her all this time and are surely, even as they are a part of her, also a comfort to her that they are there in this moment.

The message in today’s card is about not allowing times when you feel defeated by wounds (internal or external) that have cut you down also isolate you. Take comfort in others, seek out those that love you and care about you, find those that will sit and make space for you to just be… you.   Don’t look to them to solve anything, but take comfort in their presence and the fact that they are there.   You are not alone.

With my subdrop sure to be just around the corner, today’s card is a reminder that when I am feeling out of sorts from the drop, you are there for me to help me through.  Just your presence makes things better and eases that ache inside my soul.  I need to not hold myself apart and strive instead to move in closer and let you soothe the drop and untangle those inner knots that the drop creates.

DECK USED:  COSMOS TAROT AND ORACLE

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling with self-worth.
Question:  How can I be more mindful about challenging and correcting negative self-talk?

Way of the Panda Tarot

Reading Summary: Remember to look at things from another angle (Judgement) and pay attention to the fact that you really have done a lot (Ten of Pentacles) and you’re a hard worker with great deal of hard earned skill (Eight of Pentacles).

Take Away: Instead of allowing my inner narrative to have free reign, pay attention to what you hear with your ears and take that to heart. You’ve spent your life refusing to allow people’s perceptions of you matter, but those same perceptions can boost you up and create a positive narrative to help you in counteracting the negative inner dialogue you deal with on a constant basis.

Remember as well that you have created a comfortable life not just for yourself, but for L as well.  You share your stability and comfort with others, and are more than capable of sustaining it going forward.  The skills you have worked so hard to master, and have used to create this stability  in your life, are not going to just disappear.

DECK USED:  WAY OF THE PANDA TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Question:  How can I feel more grounded on my life’s current path?

Evolution TarotReading Summary: Make sure you are getting the alone time that you need (The Hermit) and use that time to forge a new path for your inner dialogue (Knight of Swords). Keep in mind that positivity and optimism (The Star) is not a natural state for you and takes repetition and diligence (Knight of Swords again).

There is a theme of darkness and purple through each of these three cards that does not carry through the entire deck.  This speaks to me of not just solitude, but peaceful solitude.  This is why I indicate that the cards say that I need to use the alone time for distancing from my normal inner critic’s dialogue.

Take Away:  Peaceful alone time and continued work on the optimism perspective will combine to give me an increased feeling of grounding in my life at this time. Neglecting my alone time now that I have the opportunity to get it (even if not in the same ways I could before) is detrimental and I need to make sure I’m fitting that in.

DECK USED:  EVOLUTION TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Question:  pencil // pen  // permanent marker // tattoo

Slavic Tarot

Recipe For A Good Life

Pencil in the hardships.
Add strength and purpose in pen.
Write in nurturing balance in permanent marker.
And tattoo motivation and drive into your soul.

DECK USED:  SLAVIC TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question:  How can I think more creatively?

Karma Tarot

Reading Summary: Don’t allow (Seven of Wands) your addictions (The Devil) to get in the way of your motivation (Eight of Wands).

Take Away:  Having an addictive personality is a bitch.  Just sayin’.   But it’s really hard sometimes to force yourself away from the stuff that feels good and you want more of.  Whether that’s certain foods, or sleep, or whatever…  So many things seem so innocuous but can become a mess of addiction and patterns that need to be broken so easily… so very easily.

The cards here indicate that it’s by staying on top of that addictive personality trait and making sure it’s kept in hand that allows my creativity free reign to flourish and grow.

DECK USED:  KARMA TAROT

Youthful Exuberance

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and I dozed off somewhere at the end of it, although I don’t think for very long. I was just feeling super relaxed and my allergies made my eyes feel good when closed… that combination sort of snuck up on me a bit with the nap.

Herbcrafter's TarotToday’s draw is the Hija of Fire (Page of Wands) card, which is traditionally interpreted as a receptive omega energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s drive, passions, interests, and inner spark.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the stuffed tiger up in the corner, and the amber sphere. The tiger speaks to me of youthful innocence and comfort. Even now in my 30’s I still can hug a stuffed animal up to my chest under my chin and find comfort in the soft fuzziness and squish in my arms.

Amber, on the other hand, is a healing stone. Not in that it heals, but in that it draws out negative energy, which then stimulates the body, mind, spirit into healing itself. Combined with the stuffed tiger, it reinforces that sense of innocence. The energy of the amber pulling out the negativity in the scene, sponging away pessimism, to leave behind youthful exuberance and innocent creativity.

The message in today’s card is a reminder to enjoy yourself. Exploration and creativity should be a fun process, not a chore. Do the things that interest you and let them carry you away into that place of positive energy and eager excitement.

DECK USED: HERBCRAFTER’S TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling with self-worth.
Question: How can I reframe self-worth as something I possess intrinsically, rather than something I need to earn?

Wild Unknown Tarot

Reading Summary: Make a choice (The Lovers) to move away from uncertainty and self doubt (The Moon Rx) and accept that your sense of fulfillment comes from within (Ten of Pentacles).

The imagery for the Ten of Pentacles in this deck looks like a tree’s rings to me. The pentacles are clustered at the center, speaking of the value being within the core of the trunk from the beginning and remaining as a part of the inner make up rather than from anything external. The motion of the geese in the Lovers card reinforces the “moving away from” aspect of the reversed Moon.

Take Away: What keeps me from framing self worth as something intrinsic within me is my self doubt. If I can make the choices that move me away from that self doubt, I will find it easier and easier to see the worth of those “inner rings of growth” within me and their weight and strength will more easily shine brighter within my eyes.

DECK USED: WILD UNKNOWN TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Do Spread #2
Should I make this few days off break a monthly thing (other than during the holiday rush)?

Star Seeker's TarotReading Summary: Times of stillness create new perspective (The Hanged One) which create a sense of clarity to assist me in the choices I make (The Lovers). Opening up the door to a whole new world (The World).

The color coordination between the water in the first and the sky in the second connects these two cards into a flow of energy, connecting the perspective gained in the first card into the clarity of the sky in the second. The third card is completely different in color scheme and appearance, reinforcing the “whole new world” aspect.

Take Away: Yes. Do it. It will help you view your work and your life through a different lens, and in turn give you a more positive outlook both concerning your work, as well as concerning your free time. As you are stepping forward in trying to restructure your organization of your responsibilities and into your emotional growth, this change could assist in fostering both of these things.

DECK USED: STAR SEEKER TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Question: Mercury goes direct: release // return // retry

Psychopomp Tarot

Release – Ten of Wands – It’s time to release the last remnants of that sense of betrayal that came with the arrival of “the letter” last fall/winter. The dregs of that pain has continued to be a block to my creative flow.

Return – The Magician – In releasing the pain mentioned above, I can then return to the confident creative man I’ve always been without the restraint of fear and pain holding me back. My skills and abilities can then shine bright and I will be able to apply them to my endeavors freely and without restraint.

Retry – The Sun – Finding joy in my work. This is something that has been a progression since the mess that “the letter” created. In stages I have tried and stalled out, then tried again. I will continue to work at instilling more joy into my work and appreciating my craftsmanship as well as the pleasure I take in sending my work out into the world to bring joy to others as well. I will continue to try and try again.

DECK USED: PSYCHOPOMP TAROT

 

Seasoning the Food

/ Twist the Leaf / 3 Comments

Today’s meditation was probably about five minutes long, but I ended up falling asleep in the middle of it so I’m not entirely sure just how long it lasted.  I’ve been really tired today and even after two naps, I’m still feeling a bit groggy and fuzzy.   This is something you have definitely noticed and I just want to say it again… it isn’t anything to do with you. That’s all.   I’ve not missed any dosages of my meds and you haven’t done anything that would cause me to avoid you. I’m spacey and fuzzy brained.

I will give meditation another try before bed tonight, although I will probably fall asleep during that one too.

Cosmos Tarot and OracleToday’s draw is the Ten of Earth (Ten of Pentacles) which is traditionally a representation of completion and fulfillment in the areas of one’s finances, resources, health, and the physical world.

Two things stand out the strongest to me in the imagery of this card today.  The first is the fact that she has one of her eyes bandaged.  This speaks to me of the nature of perfection. In my experience, perfection cannot exist without the existence of a flaw of some sort.  As this card is a representation of completion and fulfillment, it feels only right that there should be a “fly in the ointment” to create that perfect finish.

The second thing that drew my attention in this card today is the glowing cross in the angel’s hands. This cross is stunted in its length, which in turn reminds me more of the circle of the elements and seasons.  The lines of the cross in this incarnation indicates the four directions, and the spaces between each of these lines represent the seasons.  In this way, the cross in this card feels today as if it represents the “everything” concept, bringing in all things and all time together as one.

The message here is in accepting the flaws that make a life perfect.  Perfection exists, but only in the fact that it is the imperfections that make perfection what it is.  When looking at your life, do not focus only on the struggles and strife, but consider them the sprinkling of pepper that seasons the delicious dish that is your life as a whole.

DECK USED:  COSMOS TAROT AND ORACLE

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling with self-worth.
Question:  What is inherently toxic about the way I currently evaluate my worth?

Tarot of the Journey to The Orient

Reading Summary: There’s no patience or understanding (Temperance Rx) and no joy (The Sun Rx), only a clusterfuck of bad choices (imagery in the Seven of Chalices) and the constant push for more (imagery in the Three of Pentacles).

Take Away:  The toxicity in how I evaluate my worth has to do with the fact that instead of being kind and understanding with myself, whenever I make a mistake or a bad choice my inner critic jumps at the chance to rip me a new one and tear me down.   This combined with that constant pushing for more and better combine to create an extremely toxic inner dialogue.   The cards indicate this could be turned around by allowing more kindness and patience into the equation, and more positivity into that inner dialogue.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE JOURNEY TO THE ORIENT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic:  Current Challenge / Potential Resolution

The Animism TarotCurrent Challenge – Nine of Swords – Negative self talk and a destructive inner dialogue are causing a bit of overwhelm.  This is part of the reason I decided to take some time off.  Yes, this creates a different type of criticism to take place as guilt over taking time for myself screws with my head a bit… but at the same time?  I can feel the relief that allow myself some time away from the pressure has already given me.  I don’t have to go back to work until Wednesday, and it’s a wonderful bit of a break.

Potential Resolution – The Empress and Ace of Wands – Take this time to pamper yourself and give yourself some nurturing and comfort while you explore creative ideas and interests.  There’s a lot of fun to be had in that exploration if you let yourself just enjoy it and treat yourself with nurturing understanding instead of that normal slave driver mentality you usually approach yourself with. 

DECK USED:  ANIMISM TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic:  you // me // us

Numinous Tarot

You – The World – The end all, be all of everything. You are the end of the road and culmination of all that has come before, as well as the future that is spread out before me.

Me – Mystic of Candles – I light the fire of passion and am the driving force. I kindle the spark of passion and interest and even obsession between us, and you are the moth to my flame.

Us – The Sun – Pure joy and happiness.

DECK USED:  NUMINOUS TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question:  From where do I get my best ideas?

Albano Waite Tarot

Reading Summary: Times of struggle and strife, defeat and destruction (Ten of Swords and The Tower) drive me forward and kindle my inner spark where my creativity lives, while the need to share with the world (as well as be seen as) more than these things emboldens me to take these ideas forward and share them with others (Six of Wands).

Take Away: The cards here indicate that my best creative ideas are sourced by a combination of the kindled spark of “fight” within me created by the struggles I’ve gone through, and the need to share something beautiful with the world so that others do not look at live (or me) through eyes that see only the struggles dealt.  I want others to see and experience beauty and good things… I want to share that with them, and have that beauty I share, in turn, associated with me.

DECK USED:  ALBANO WAITE TAROT

Rolling Stones Standing Still

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_5153Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and a guided meditation that focused upon vulnerability and creativity.  There is vulnerability in creativity… as well as in all those other things mentioned in the Brene Brown quote on the right.   I’m not sure if I would consider vulnerability the birth place of these things…. but I think that it takes a certain level of vulnerability to allow them in and allow them to have influence over you.

All of those emotions leave you vulnerable to being hurt, and creativity does as well.  It takes bravery to create, to put what you have made out there in the world and allow people to see it.  Whether we want them to judge these creations or not?  They will.  And those judgements can hurt when they are not positive.

Herbcrafter's Tarot - The World - PachamamaToday’s draw is The World card, which is traditionally a representation of the fulfillment and achievement that can be obtained by reaching the end of a journey, transitioning through growth into a new journey, as well as the cycles of life and reincarnation.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the monarch butterfly.  A butterfly’s life is full of cycles.  The cycle from caterpillar to butterfly, the cycle of migration they go through each year, etc.   They are in constant flux of one sort or another, and never fully still or stagnant in life.  At the same time, the stones in the floral mandala also really catch my eye.  These stones are positioned to represent the four directions and thus, the four elements.

The combination of these two aspects are a message of encouragement concerning finding balance and direction. At the moment I am feeling a bit stagnant and struggling with direction, and I feel like the stones in the imagery and how they stand out to me today is an encouragement that taking this time off to just relax and de-stress is a good move.

DECK USED:  HERBCRAFTER’S TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling with self-worth.
Question:  When did I first start to lose my sense of worth?

New Palladini Tarot

Reading Summary: There were many times in my youth when uncertainty was an issue for me (The Moon) and yet I was left to deal with it on my own as everyone abandoned me during my times of need (Eight of Cups). I did the best that I could with what I had at the time to work with (Page of Rods), but I was judged harshly for the results regardless (The Last Judgement).

Take Away:  This type of behavior pattern from others during my developmental years created a sense of always needing to do better and the mentality that only perfection was acceptable from me. This is something I’ve carried into adulthood, and I’ve only started to recognize as a problem and work on over the last few years.

DECK USED:  NEW PALLADINI TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Question:  How can I strengthen my relationship with my loved ones?

Tarotbot TarotReading Summary: Be generous (Six of Coins) in sharing your passions with others (King of Wands) and spread your enthusiasm and inspiration around and see what comes back to you in turn (Page of Wands).

Take Away:  By involving them more in those things that I enjoy and find inspiration in.  Most of my creative endeavors and passionate interests are solo activities, but many have the potential to be more by sharing these activities with others.  By doing this, I open myself up to let them in closer, and become closer to them in turn, which then strengthens those relationships.

DECK USED:  TAROTBOT TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic:  embrace // erase // face

The Fifth Tarot

Emperor – Embrace your power and accept the authority that you have over others, whether you really want it or not. Embrace your role in this family and among others, and your role as a leader. You are the stable protector and provider, the foundation, and that’s okay.

Judgement and Ten of Swords – Erase self-doubt. The struggles that you have gone through do not need to be rehashed again and again in your mind, and evaluated over and over looking for flaws and mistakes. You’ve done the best you could so let these worries go and focus on moving forward.

Three of Lotus – Not even stone can withstand the flow of water, forever unchanged by its currents. Face the fact that you cannot stand stagnant and move forward at the same time. You have to be able to except that things are going to change in all aspects of your life as well as within you as you move along this path of growth you are on.

DECK USED:  THE FIFTH TAROT

Choosing Freedom

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was skipped because I chose to oversleep and then had to scramble to get my ass up and moving in order to get everything done that I need to get done today.  I will try to do it before bed tonight, and then get back on track with morning meditations starting tomorrow.

Cosmos Tarot and Oracle - Ten of FireToday’s draw is the Ten of Fire (Ten of Wands) which is traditionally a representation of burden and overwhelm of responsibilities or obligations.   It is a card filled with feelings of hard work that have turned into drudgery.

I actually do not see any of that in this card’s imagery, or really in the key words either, for that matter.  In fact, what I see in the imagery of this card has more to do with release and freedom. This is depicted twofold in this card’s imagery.   First, through the releasing of the birds to find their flight and freedom in the sky.  And second, in releasing the birds, the woman in the card is also released from the responsibility of caring for them and thus free of her burden of responsibility.

The message in this card is an encouragement to release some of my own burdens, and this is something that I’ve actually made the decision to do and, in fact, have already put in motion the process of doing.   I’m taking a week off from the business.  I’ll still be working at the farm and the salon, but I will not allow either of them to increase my hours during this week either.     I need to step back and take some breaths of fresh air away from the constant cycle of work that the business creates.

I need a break, and I’m going to allow myself to take it.

DECK USED:  COSMIC TAROT AND ORACLE

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling with self-worth.
Question: Do my issues with self-worth require professional attention? How can I set my shame or guilt aside enough to more easily approach these issues with my therapist?

Midcenturian Tarot

Do my issues with self-worth require professional attention? – Three of Wands beneath The Chariot – You’re already on this path. You have direction and control in this moment over these issues and your therapist has given you the tools needed to prepare you as you move forward along your path.

How can I set my shame or guilt aside enough to more easily approach these issues with my therapist? – Two of Pentacles and Two of Swords – When you have need of your therapist’s help, you need to weigh your options and make a choice to do something about it instead of hanging back and waffling.

Take Away: Yes. Sometimes I need help with my self esteem issues.

Depression, which is my mental health issue predilection, is said to be hatred turned upon the self, and this is true in my personal experience.  Not that self hatred turned on the self creates depression, but that depression creates the cycle that turns hatred inward on yourself. At these times, I do need professional help.

Sometimes?  The depression sneaks up on me at a slow creep, and while I have an inkling of an idea that it’s coming or even has arrived, I waffle on getting help too long and slide into a deep pit of a depressive episode as a result.   A better choice is to not waffle, but call right away as soon as the first hint of what’s coming is noticed.

DECK USED:  MIDCENTURIAN TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic:  Act on This / Let this Rest

Veleda Woods TarotAct On This – Five of Cups – Work at letting go of your apathy and inner dissonance. Do not allow yourself to sink into these feelings, as they are not good for you and will hinder your path forward.  Instead, focus on rising above and finding the “sunlight through the clouds”.  There’s just as much good in the world as there is bad, so turn your attention from the “broken stems” in life and look for the good instead.

Let This Rest – Harvester of Swords Rx and The Devil – It’s time to lay off  a bit on shopping for your addiction. You have lots of preorders and kickstarters coming over the next few months, as well as orders that have not yet come in due to shipping delays. This does not necessarily mean cutting yourself off entirely as that would create a sense of deprivation and resentment, but it’s time to ease back for a bit.

DECK USED:  VELEDA WOODS TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic:  within // without

Student Tarot 4 Godard's BirdsWithin – Wheel of Fortune – You need to focus on being centered and more adaptable.  Don’t allow inner chaos to take hold and run rampant.  Do what you need to in order to keep yourself balanced and centered.

Without – Empress and The Lovers – Take time to appreciate all of the nurturing and love that you receive from others, and most especially from Gideon.  There is a great deal of love in your life, directed at you every single day in so many different ways.  Don’t take this for granted, but instead accept that love and nurturing care, and enjoy it rather than ignoring it or disregarding.

DECK USED:  STUDENT TAROT v4 GODARD’S BIRDS

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What moment from today do I feel is memorable?

Women of Science Tarot

Reading Summary: My decision (Five of Micro) to do something different (The World) and prioritize my inner knowledge and needs above my outer ones (The High Priestess).

Side Note:  The interpretation of these three cards is based off the imagery on the cards rather than their tarot meanings. In some cases, there is some overlap, especially in the third card… I just wanted to point out that in this case I wasn’t paying attention to the suits and traditional meanings.

Take Away:  I mentioned this in my COTD analysis, but I made the decision today that even though I’m not going anywhere, I’m going to put my shops / business on hold for a week and just take some time away from it to get a little distance and perspective. This is an extremely difficult decision for me, but I’ve already put everything in place and my “vacation” will start tomorrow after I’ve dropped off all my packages at the post office.

DECK USED:  WOMEN OF SCIENCE TAROT