nine of wands

Balance in Boundaries

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Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and, as with yesterday, I chose to do my meditation without a guide.  For today, I did a quiet breathing exercise and full body scan that started at the top of the head and traveled to the tips of the toes, then back up again.

This is one of my favorite meditations, as it allows for the systematic relaxation of muscles that sometimes I don’t even realize are holding tension.  Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to get rid of headaches, and I have had one since waking up for work this morning.

Nine of Wands - Spacious TarotToday’s draw is the Nine of Wands, and I’ve really noticed that this particular deck seems to really love throwing wand cards at me. And.. I do mean throwing.  This one hit me right in the face between the eyebrows.

The Nine of Wands is traditionally a representation of culminations, fulfillment, and consequences in the area of one’s ambitions, drive, and passions.  This often communicates itself through themes involving resilience, persistence, and setting good boundaries.

What really stands out to me in this card today is the rose, and the fact that the wand it rests upon is in front of the other wands in this card instead of tangled within them or concealed behind them.  It speaks to me of not just boundaries, but the fact that sometimes you need boundaries in order to achieve growth.

Boundaries can sometimes provide a safe place for growth and development to take place without that protection.  The card is a reminder that when setting boundaries you need to do so with balance.  If the boundaries are too tight, then there is no air to breathe and no light to nurture growth.   If the boundaries are too loose, the rose can end up trampled.

DECK USED:  SPACIOUS TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: What does my spirit enjoy that it didn’t get enough of last year?

Ethereal Visions Tarot

Reading Summary:  Taking the reigns (Three of Wands) and allowing my inner strength to rise (Strength) within my relationship (Two of Cups) within a grounded and self possessed manner (Nine of Pentacles).

Take Away:  This is about Dominance.   I had my reasons for not going there over the past year.  One of the strongest being the burn-out that was caused by the time between us when you were dealing with your grief and the imbalance we went through during that time.  That said, there were a few times I felt the urge and pushed it away, mostly out of concern that I wasn’t ready yet to step back into those shoes.

DECK USED:  ETHEREAL VISIONS TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What does your inner child crave that you’ve been ignoring?

Jeremy Miranda Oracle Cards

Reading Summary:  All of the cards here are depicting shades of cold, and the layout is bracketed in ice.  It speaks of cold on so many levels, but with three of the four of the cards also depicting being on the inside and looking out, there is a very clear message to me of the need to get outside and enjoy nature.

Take Away:  Get your ass outside already.  Yes, it’s cold… but do it anyway.

DECK USED:  JEREMY MIRANDA ORACLE CARDS

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: What do I need in order to create a better evening routine?

The Prediction Tarot

Interpretation: Focus, organization, and intuition. Honestly?  This isn’t a read off the cards and their traditional meanings, but rather off of intuition from the imagery before me.   There is a lot of stress placed within these cards about new methods and finding a balance between the emotional, intellectual, and spiritual aspects in my life.  If I want a better evening routine, the cards indicate that I am going to need to focus on finding that balance.

DECK USED:  THE PREDICTION TAROT

Strength and Choice

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and focused on the Winter Solstice (aka Yule), which is today, and the theme of refreshing energies and rebirth that this part of the year is all about.

With the shortest day of the year coming to an end and the longest night soon to follow, now is a time to focus on bringing in positive energy to breathe fresh air through the stagnant and get things moving again that have been left to rest (or rot) through the fall.

After today, the days will start to become longer again, and more light will begin to illuminate each step forward toward spring.  It’s a holiday of hope, like a candle’s shimmering light shining in the darkness, and it was this hope that the meditation focused on.

Nine of Wands - Tarot of the Little Prince Today’s draw is the Nine of Wands, and this is the second time I have seen this card today, as it was also a part of my solstice reading that I did this morning.

The message this card conveys is one of choice.  Do I want to spend my time in a position of defense?  Is cringing away in fear ever really much of an option?  Today’s appearance of the Nine of Wands is a reminder that sometimes you have to take a stand, and sometimes you have to walk away… but there are always choices in every unpleasant situation, and you don’t have to lay down and take it like a beaten whelp.

As a one card draw looking for positivity, this draw doesn’t tell me what that situation is, but is instead a message of strength and independence, and encouragement to stand strong.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthDecember

Question:  What wound did I heal this year?

Tarot of the Hidden Folk

Reading Summary: Neglecting my inner needs (Eight of Swords) in order to chase after my constant ambition and spark of new ideas (Ace of Wands) and putting my own self care on the back burner (The Empress).

Take Away:  For most of my life, first with my education and then with my home business, I have pushed myself beyond what is reasonably okay, essentially sacrificing my needs on the altar of my ambition and drive.  This year I’ve worked to begin changing that and healing the inner neglect that has been systemic in my life for so long.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE HIDDEN FOLK

 

Boundaries

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Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and I started a new series to work through as the regular daily meditation was a repeat from a couple months ago.   The new series is “How to Meditate” with a different narrator than my regular, so we’ll see how it goes.  I did very much like the very basic way that they broke down what meditation is, though, and so I’ll probably stick with it for a while at least, regardless of the voice not being the best.

Nine of Wands - Dark Mansion Tarot Today’s draw is the Nine of Wands, which is a representation of resilience, defense, and good boundaries in the area of one’s passions, drive, and ambitions.   After the day I had yesterday, it’s not surprising that this card would come up.

Today’s draw is a reminder to keep my boundaries strong.  They are there for a reason and even with the awakening of new levels of emotion in my life, they need to hold firm. That new depth of emotion I’ve been feeling lately leaves me feeling a bit disoriented and as if I am fumbling in the dark.  Now more than ever it is important to ground myself in my values, as well as in those boundaries I’ve put in place for my own personal and emotional safety as well as the safety of what (and who) I hold dear.

Deck Used: Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.

Question: How can I encourage continued growth moving forward?

Skele-TarotReading Summary:  When you’re feeling a bit lost in the dark (The Moon) remain calm, thoughtful, and decisive (Queen of Swords) rather than letting choices overwhelm you (Seven of Cups) and create conflict (Five of Wands).

Take Away:  A lot of times when I’m dealing with uncertainty, I let things get overwhelming because I feel powerless in those moments.  The cards are reminding me that to move forward and grow from these experiences, I can’t give in to those feelings of being overwhelmed, but instead strive to stay calm and collected within the storm.

Deck Used: Skele-Tarot

The Triumphant Elephant

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and thirty seconds long, and focused on the intrusion of thoughts into meditation.

A lot of people think meditation is a time for clearing the mind of everything and sitting in the complete silence of a blank slate.   What I find, though, is that isn’t the case at all.   In meditation, the mindfulness approach involves not pushing away or burying  thoughts, but rather developing an awareness of thoughts that visit without letting them carry you away.

That is to say, thoughts come and you acknowledge that they came to visit and then move on, rather than falling down into the rabbit hole trap of focusing upon them and letting them drag you in.   It’s the difference between allowing a thought to flit in and back out again, or grabbing hold of it (or letting it grab hold of you) and allowing it drag you into deeper contemplation.

By letting these flitting thoughts go rather than being pulled in, you return again and again to the mindfulness of the moment at hand, rather than getting wrapped up in the cyclical thoughts of the past and future.

Today’s draw is the Nine of Wands (the Asian Elephant) which is a representation of fulfillment, fruition, culmination, and consequences in the area of one’s passions, drive, willpower, and ambitions.  This card often deals with themes regarding one’s resilience and courage in the face of adversity and challenges.

In the guidebook for this deck, the Asian Elephant’s key words are endurance, strength, dedication, remembrance, and protection.

I see…. triumph.   I see breaking free of the chains that bind you.  In the imagery of this card, I see freedom.  The elephant has torn down the tent and it rests in shambles around and behind him, while he stands proud and free, trampling the remnants at his feet.

That is what I see in today’s Nine of Wands.

I’ve been revisiting the memories of my ex lately, and this card is a reminder that I am the elephant.  I may have feel as if I’ve torn a good deal of my life asunder in the process of healing from everything that’s happened, but in the end, I am on top.  I am strong, and I am triumphant.

Deck Used: The Animism Tarot

 

Scarcity Issues Redux

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and focused on indecision, especially that which is spurred by fear of rejection.

I found the meditation itself very relaxing, but I didn’t really relate well to the topic of the day.  The only time I really feel indecision is when I’m in subdrop or feeling extremely vulnerable.  This means that my indecision is caused by something very specific, and is not due to some sort of fear or worry of rejection or the judgement from others.

I’m not sure how I developed this confidence, but I’ve never had an issue with judgement.  Well, that’s not entirely true.  There was a time when internally my soul bled due do the judgements pushed on me by my father, but even then… there was no indecision.  Not about my sexuality, not about what I felt was right or wrong, not about the things I liked, and the things I didn’t.  What my father contributed was to further teach me is the “what’s the worst that can happen” aspect (with reasonable common sense added in, of course).

You do what you want because…. what’s the worst that can happen?  Someone laughs at you?  So what?  Someone says no?   Well at least you asked and now you know.  Thinking of trying something new?  Yes, you might fail, but if you had fun along the way or learned something during the process (or from the results) then it wasn’t really a loss at all.

Today’s draw was yet again another double drop, with no jumper as they both came out together.  The cards in today’s draw are the Nine of Wands (Anxious) and the Five of Coins (Poverty).  I’m considering ceasing defining the cards for this deck, as I keep getting intuition hits before I reach for my knowledge of the suits in the tarot, or even read the key words on the cards..

This one was a no-brainer, and is pretty much the message that’s been coming through for a while now.  The repeat message is not a surprise, as it is a subject that I struggle with.

That is… scarcity issues.

More specifically, the obsession with ensuring I do not return to a place of poverty and desperation.

The cards today are reminding me that I am not poor.  I am not destitute.  Everything is okay and there is no need to be anxious.  That, in fact, the general anxiety I deal with may be a part of what keeps me in this mindset.

The repeating theme of this topic means it is something I need to look at deeper, and work on more diligently.  I think that this is not just a reminder, but an encouragement to take action and put some focus and work into finding ways to ease my anxiety in this area.

Deck Used: The Visions of Life Tarot