Choice… is a Choice

Today’s meditation is super relaxing. It was a full body scan meditation that started at the crown of the head and went in a very detailed scan all the way down to the tips of the toes.

These yoga nidras are my very favorite types of guided meditation, as the laser focus needed in going through each part of the body assists me in being able to have a completely centered focus without a lot of distractions.

Today’s draw was another combination of doubles, with both again coming out together without a jumper.  The cards in today’s draw are the Chimpanzees (the Justice card, which is the 11th card in the Major Arcana), and the Horse (the Chariot card, which is the 7th card in the Major Arcana.

The Justice card deals with cause and reaction, action and consequence.  It is a card that deals with cause and effect, justice, truth, and “fairness” in the way of balance.   In the guide for this deck, the chimpanzees are associated with the keywords of adaptation, objectiveness, awareness, compassion, and honor.

The Chariot card deals with willpower and determination. Like the Knight card from yesterday, this card deals with the strength to act with precision and control, to direct one’s trajectory, and to move forward in the direction of one’s ambitions.  In the guide for this deck, the horse is associated with the keywords of strength, control, resilience, intuition, determination, and victory.

With the Justice card on the bottom and the Chariot overlapping it, the cards today are telling me that sometimes when you want life to be fair?  You have to make it fair.  That is to say, sometimes when balance is needed, it’s your own strength, courage, and resilience that directs the boat to the results you need.   At these times, you don’t just need a firm hand, but a strong connection with your intuition as well, in order to make the right choices and steer things in the right direction.

This isn’t so much a reflection on my day as it is a reminder that we are not victims of fate, but rather  the master of our own choices.

Deck Used: The Animism Tarot

What Seeds Take Root

Today’s meditation was 10 minutes and 10 seconds and focused on transforming negative emotions into positive ones. More specifically, it dealt with irritation, but I really do feel that this could be applied to any negative emotions.

The example used in the meditation explained how you can use your meditation practice, mindfulness, and breathing exercises to transform such emotions as irritation into a more positive light.  This is done by taking a minute and a “step back”, just to take a couple of deep breaths and seek a bit of perspective outside yourself.

The meditation itself included a breathing exercise where you rhythmically count your breaths in, then hold, then breaths out.  I found it so relaxing that I had a hard time getting up after the meditation was done.  I just wanted to lie there and dawdle the day away.   Of course, my stomach and metabolism had other ideas.

Today’s draw is yet another duo, which again had no jumper but came out together. That would be the 14th card of the Major Arcana, the Temperance card, and the Nine of Swords. The keyword on the temperance card is “balance”, and the keyword on the Nine of Swords card is “sorrow”.

To be honest?  I’m not even going to bother defining the traditional meaning for these two cards today, because my intuition is working overtime on this deck, to the point it seems to be almost “mentally blocking” the more analytical, educated side of things.

What I see in these cards is, first and foremost, that Sorrow is at the back.   When I read, the rear card in a double jump is always the subject, and the overlaying card is the commentary.

What the cards are telling me is that, although depression is often a brain chemistry thing for me, in order to assist myself and my meds in keeping myself afloat and out of the mess of a deep pit that my depression is prone to throwing me into… I need to make sure I continue to focus on balance.

I’ve been very tempted lately to up my hours on my part time jobs, because things have been slow with the business.  Not surprising, things are always slow this time of year.  Still, I push myself so hard that the temptation is there even if I don’t really NEED to struggle and strive and push for more.

I need to make sure I remember that this time of year is a time for rest for me.  Next month I have to start gearing up and preparing for the busy holiday season ahead.  June, July, and August are the only months all year that I have to essentially “slack off”.

I need to stop feeling guilt over that “slacking” and see it as what it is.   A time for healing.  A time for restoration.   A time to refill my cup for what’s coming, and repair the damage (emotional, spiritual, physical) that I’ve done to myself over the past year when things were so busy I couldn’t barely breathe.

If I do not give myself that balance?   I will pay for it later in not just my mood, but in my energy levels, creativity, and enthusiasm as well. Which would create a prime set-up for a bit of darkness to creep in and root into the soil.

Deck Used: The Visions of Life Tarot

 

Don’t Be Such a Bastard

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and focused on our internal dialogue and the language we use.   That is to say, how we talk to ourselves (whether aloud or in our heads).   It went into detail on asking why we would treat ourselves worse than how we treat others.  Are the things you say to yourself something you would ever say to another person?

In my case?  This is a hell no.  I know I’m very hard on myself, extremely judgemental of myself and very confrontational in my language to myself.  This is not how I am with others at all, and yet when it comes to myself… I’m mean as fuck.

The meditation encouraged noticing these times and, when you do, gentling your approach.   It is about being mindful of how you are treating yourself… and it’s something I definitely need to work on.

Today’s draw is (again) a double without a jumper.  In today’s draw we have the 8th card (in some decks this is the 11th card) of the Major Arcana, the Strength card which is represented here by a bee eater bird and a lion.  With the Strength card came the Seven of Pentacles, which in this deck is represented by the peacock.

Like all cards in the Major Arcana, the Strength card deals with the “bigger picture” of one’s life rather than one specific aspect of the human experience.  This card most often represents inner strength rather than outer strength, which includes courage, skills in persuasion and influence, as well as qualities of compassion.   In this deck, the strength card depicts a lion and a bee eater bird, which in the guidebook are described as….

Lion: power, protection, courage, patience, wisdom, and passion Bee Eater Bird: unity, family, tranquility, support, comfort, and balance

The Seven of Pentacles is a representation of progress, sudden leaps ahead, and the unknown in the area of finances, resources and the physical word.  It can also indicate the entrance of spirituality into a situation, and looking beyond the self.    This deck depicts the Seven of Pentacles as a Peacock, which in the guidebook holds the qualities of rebirth, confidence, victory, patience, resilience, and devotion.

Whew… that was a long one for definitions today.

My interpretation of the cards in today’s reading boils down to that I need to spend more time lifting myself up, rather than tearing myself down.  And, in doing so, I will foster more strength within myself and a calmer, more centered outlook concerning not just my family, but the world at large.

It’s a good message, as I have been struggling a bit with being a right bastard to myself lately, and I have a visit coming up with family that will do plenty of that “tearing down” for me.   I don’t need to be so harsh with myself, instead, now is a time to foster my strengths and build myself up for what is coming. (Which, of course, I’m referring to  either visiting those family members out east, or staying here and helping my mother through her surgery, depending on what she decides she wants to happen.)

Deck Used:  The Animism Tarot

 

Digging For the Roots

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and focused on being mindful of how we treat those that are closest to us.  It discussed how it is those closest to us that sometimes get the brunt of our bad days or dismal moods.

The guided meditation then walked through a practice of mindfulness and gratitude, to assist in keeping in mind just how precious these people are in one’s life.

Today’s draw is the 2nd card in the Major Arcana, the High Priestess card.  As with all cards in the Major Arcana, this card does not deal with one singular aspect of the human experience, but rather with the “larger picture” and our journey along our life’s path.

The High Priestess card is a representation of intuition, spiritual knowledge, the subconscious, and divine feminine energy.  This card is a reminder not just to listen to your intuition, but to tune into your awareness of the yet to be discovered and the unknown.    She is a reminder that there is more at play in the world than what lies just upon the surface of our awareness.

This card’s appearance on a Self Care Saturday indicates that there are deeper motivations at work than what I perceive going on just on the surface.  I’ve been more tired than normal this week, and a bit reclusive from the world at large.  I even started resenting the presence of my helper a bit, which is ridiculous because 1) I’m PAYING her to be here and 2) she really does help me and my business.

Today I am being given a chance to get in touch with what’s going on beneath the surface and foster the temperance and tolerance, as well as the gratitude, that I need in order to move forward into the busy new week ahead.

Deck Used: Student Tarot v5

 

An Ode to Intuition

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and focused on intuition and the importance of listening to your inner voice, and how when you foster mindfulness through both meditation as well as your life in general, it assists in giving that inner voice a bit of a boost.

This meditation theme goes very well with today’s daily draw.

Today’s draw is the second card in the Major Arcana, the High Priestess.  This card is a representation of intuition, the subconscious, spirituality, and the sacred feminine.  It is a card in the Major Arcana, which deals with one’s spiritual journey and life paths, rather than any one aspect of the human experience.  In this case, it deals with intuition and that inner voice that whispers from the subconscious.

Have you ever noticed that your gut reaction is always right?  I’m not talking about the stuff you’re taught by others, or lessons you’ve learned along the way, or habits you happen to pick up… I’m talking about that gut reaction right at the beginning, before thought even factors in.  That moment… that fraction of a second when your mind and reasoning is not engaged and it’s all about instinct and intuition.

It’s always right.  We might end up disagreeing with it, or second-guessing. But, that combination of instinct and intuition is always right if you listen to it instead of overthinking it or reverting back to preconceive notion‘s and learned ideals.

This is the instance of that internal debate of “should I or shouldn’t I” when your first gut reaction is that you shouldn’t… but, you do it anyway because you want to. Then, later, you wonder why it turned out badly?   Well, you knew in your gut at the start it was a bad idea and you chose to ignore your inner voice.

This is the situation where instinct and intuition tell you to stay away from someone… but you reason to yourself that you are being unfair, or that that feeling is baseless. And then, later on down the road, you learn a painful lesson by getting hurt by them.  Yet if you’d listen to that first instinct and intuition, you’d have either known what was coming and been prepared, or avoided the pain all together.

These initial reactions from your inner voice are a combination of intuition and instinct, and they are often discounted and disregarded by most people. But, the fact is that they can be a useful tool, and the more that you listen to them the more they will flourish and grow.

The High Priestess card speaks of this.  Of listening to those inner voices and allowing them to grow.  To strengthen.  To assist you and guide you along your life’s path.  The more you listen and respect the messages that your instincts and intuition offer up, the more you’ll hear.  As a result, over time, those messages will become clearer, and easier to recognize and understand.

 

 

Reflection and Rest

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and focused on gentleness. Specifically, on the need to be kind and gentle with ourselves, to love ourselves and be aware of how we treat ourselves.

This messages is one I need reminding of on a regular basis, because I am my own worst critic and my harshest taskmaster.

Today’s draw is the twenty-first card in the Major Arcana, The World. This card, like all Major Mrcana cards, reflects not just upon one aspect of daily’s life, but upon the bigger picture of our journey through life as a whole.

Yesterday’s card was the Four of Cups, representing I need to take a break emotionally and creatively. Today’s appearance of The World card is a continuation on that theme.

The World card represents completion, restoration, and reflection. It is about coming to the end of a cycle, the end of a journey, or taking pause to reflect and redirect moving forward.

All morning this morning I have been debating on whether I need to complete the orders that have come in within the last 24 hours, or stick to my vacation schedule and hold off on them until I come back as I had initially planned.

This push for constantly doing more work is because I always feel like it’s never enough. The World card’s appearance is telling me that it is enough, and I need to take a break and reflect on my accomplishments.

I’m going to take this advice and leave the orders as I had initially planned. Self-care Saturdays are supposed to be about me and taking care of myself. Just because I’m going on “vacation” doesn’t mean that should change.