Karma Tarot

Another Way

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was a bit longer than normal at fifteen minutes, as I added on a few extra stretches to my piriformis stretching.   It was just a quiet meditation, and I had a bit of trouble focusing, which is fine.  I’ve picked up my yoga practice a bit, so the piriformis stretches are a part of that .  I expect to be a bit sore over the next few days.

Cosmos Tarot and OracleToday’s draw is the Mercury card, which is a part of the oracle cards that are included in this deck. Although I am not really strong in astrology, I do know that Mercury rules over communication which is why when Mercury goes into retrograde so many people freak out and so much seems to go awry… once communication goes off the tracks? Everything else soon follows.

When I look at this card, I get very confused. Somehow skulls and face with one eye and a smile and a hand and snakes and ribbons and long tongues and…. it all gets messed up in my head when I look at the imagery on this card.  It’s a fucking clusterfuck mess, and i can’t seem to ever piece out the imagery to make sense of what I’m seeing.

In fact, what I see in this card’s imagery today is… not really there at all. Because when I look at this card, I see a nude figure curled into itself made out of the hand in the upper right hand corner, and the curvature of a bare spine from shoulders to hips out of the lower left skull.

What I see in these things that are not really there is vulnerability and a need to retreat from chaos.  Today’s card is a reminder of this.  Of the fact that when I feel vulnerable that I have a tendency to try and curl into myself and away from the chaos.  It is a reminder that that is the old way of doing things… and I’m learning another way.  A better and healthier way.

DECK USED:  COSMOS TAROT AND ORACLE

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic:  I’m so burnt out all the time.
Question:  How can I rest more effectively?

Tarot of the Journey to the Orient

Reading Summary: Learn from the new knowledge that you’re gaining emotionally to guide you (Knave of Chalices) instead of falling back on the fire that is sparked through conflict (Five of Wands) and charging ahead (The Chariot).

Take Away:  This is about managing my energy in a more resourceful way.  Instead of spilling my energy all over the place and using the flash fire of passions to drive me forward, I need to seek a gentler way of motivating myself so that it is easier to unwind from that motivation to rest more easily.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE JOURNEY TO THE ORIENT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Question:  How can I become more sure of myself?

Karma TarotReading Summary: Move away (Eight of Cups) from the belief that you have to be the end-all be-all and be able to do everything all the time (The World). Take some self reflection and allow those things that really aren’t any of your responsibility to fall away (The Hermit).

Take Away:  This message has to do with more than just my actions and physically taking on too much, but also my sense of inner responsibility. I need to remember that I am ultimately only responsible for myself.  This is because when I take on more than I can handle, or responsibilities that are not mine to take on, when I then fail, stagger, or struggle… my inner critic uses this as fodder to tear myself down through it’s negative inner dialogue.  That inner dialogue is all about being a failure, and I shouldn’t be taking that on for things that aren’t my responsibility in the first place.

DECK USED:  KARMA TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic:  hold your ground // step aside // share the path

Slavic Tarot

Hold Your Ground – Five of Cups – Against your depression and pessimism.

Step Aside – Ten of Coins – From the responsibility of balancing everything on your shoulders… sometimes they’ll flourish just fine on their own without your stressing over them.

Share The Road – Two of Swords – With the fact that sometimes you do have to make difficult decisions even when you don’t want to. That’s OK. Just be well informed first.

DECK USED:  SLAVIC TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question:  When am I least creatively confident?

Albano Waite Tarot

Reading Summary: When joyous fun (The Sun) is torn down by selfish words (Queen of Swords Rx) by someone that should be a nurturing figure in my life (The Empress).

Take Away:  When I’m having my fun and/or expectations crushed by my mother.

DECK USED:  ALBANO WAITE TAROT

Desires vs Reality

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was another of the harp string meditations with the interval chimes.  It was very relaxing and I dozed off somewhere near the end and had a pretty good sleep.  I’m not calling it a “nap” because it really did feel more like I had gone to bed and had a good sleep, even though it only lasted probably an hour or so.  I didn’t wake up so much “refreshed” as just a bit more energized with muscle strain eased.

Cosmos Tarot and OracleToday’s draw is the Five of Water (Five of Cups) for the second day in a row. As I mentioned (just yesterday), the traditional interpretation of this card is about disappointment, pessimism, feelings of failure, and that “sour grapes” feeling of the glass being half empty.

I love the imagery of this card today.  It is… I find it breathtaking, and so fitting, all at once.  I see the image of an individual looking up at what they can’t have instead of enjoying what they have in this image.  Sea monster or not, that look at what lies beyond their reach is something I can relate to, and it still lingers upon the topic of my mother and her manipulations.

Every time she takes me by surprise, I feel so damned stupid.  And the fact is, that it’s that Five of Cups theme that creates the opportunity for those feelings to surface.  It’s that wanting for what I can’t have… that desire for what’s beyond my reach that causes the disappointment.

I desire the mother that loves me.  I deserve a mother that cherishes me.   Maybe, in her own way, she does both of these ways.  But it’s not in any way that I can personally see.  It’s not in any form that is identifiable to me.   My expectations are not helping this situation and I need to let them go, and accept things as they are.

DECK USED:  COSMOS TAROT AND ORACLE

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic:  I’m so burnt out all the time.
Question:  How can I be proactive, rather than simply reactive, about rest?

Lumina Tarot

Reading Summary: Stay in touch with how you’re feeling (Knight of Cups) and own it (the curl of the Fox’s tail in the Queen of Wands), and understand that it is fully acceptable (Six of Wands) to need rest.

Take Away: Part of the reason I habitually hit burnout again and again is because instead of staying in touch with how I am feeling, I push the warning signs away and shove them into a dark corner instead of listening to them.  By pushing these warning signs and struggles away, I can then plow forward and continue to push myself harder and harder, as I was always taught is the “right” thing to do.

If I want to be more proactive about my rest, I need to connect with those feelings and warning signs instead of ignoring them, and accept that it’s a part of being human to need rest, and not a failing on my part.

DECK USED:  LUMINA TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic:  Hidden Strength / Secret Weakness

Tarot MaddonniHidden Strength – Nine of Pentacles – Creating stability, and the ability to be alone. I don’t need other people to entertain me or keep me company, I’m more than capable of doing that for myself. My independence is one of my greatest strengths, and not one that is obvious to everyone.

Secret Weakness – Three of Swords – I am my own worst enemy and my depression is my hidden secret weakness. I’m upfront about the fact that I deal with depression and have done so throughout my life… and yet when a depressive episode comes upon me, I work to hide it both from others as well as myself.

DECK USED:  TAROT MADDONNI

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic:  be proud // be humble // be brave // be strong

Student Tarot v4 Godard's Birds

Be Proud – The Lovers – I make good choices. This is something that I can take pride in.  Whether these choices are for my benefit or the benefit of others, whether it is in the person I have partnered with, or the employers I work for, or anything else.  In the end, with the guidance of my intuition and my moral compass, I make good choices.

Be Humble – The Star – I don’t know everything when it comes to spiritual matters. Fortunately, I’m not someone that struggles with saying “I don’t know” when I don’t know the answer to something, but I think sometimes I do come off as more knowledgeable on certain subjects than I am, simply because I am confident of my own personal path.

Be Brave – Ten of Pentacles -Sometimes even when you have stability and security in your life?  It feels like it’s not enough, or like it might be taken away from you on the whims of fate alone.  Obtainment doesn’t necessarily mean anything if you can’t hold onto what you want once you get it. It takes bravery.  Not just to go after what you want, but also to admit you want it and to work at holding onto it even after you have it.

Be Strong – The Moon – It can be hard to be strong in times of uncertainty, but remember that these times are transient.  Their impermanence means that no matter how confusing or uncertain things might seem in the moment?  Eventually it will all come clear again.  It just takes some strength and perseverance to get through to the other side.

DECK USED:  STUDENT TAROT v4 GODARD’S BIRDS

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Topic:  The part of my world that inspires me is…

Karma Tarot

Reading Summary: Guiding others (Grand Master) in sorting out (Justice) their struggles and worries (Nine of Swords) so that they can make gradual progress toward a better future (Knight of Coins).

Side note: For some reason the Grand Master (Hierophant) in this deck always makes me think of the caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland.  I’m not sure why.

Take Away:  I’m not sure if the feeling I get from helping others with their path so much inspires me, as it kindles a feeling of warmth and positivity within my soul.  Perhaps that could actually be considered inspiration of a sort, though.  Not so much creative inspiration, and yet inspiration all the same.

DECK USED:  KARMA TAROT

Standing Tall

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was… not as long or as relaxing as I would have liked. It’s just too hot for my tastes.   I has to turn the AC off for a bit in the bedroom to get a little peace from the constant grating of the AC’s sound vibrating under my skin.  It just… ugh.   And with the AC off, the room got hot fast.  Thus I found myself uncomfortable in an entirely different way.

Herbcrafter's TarotToday’s draw is the Adelita of Fire (Knight of Wands) which is traditionally a representation of an active beta energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s drives and ambitions, passions and inspiration.

Funny enough (although maybe not entirely surprising considering what I do for a living) what stood out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the bracelet on the wrist of the one wielding the mortar and pestle.

I see flair in that bracelet.  A boldness and fierce brightness of color that only someone with flair and the strong spark of a passionate nature can pull off.  It fits well with the boldness of a Knight’s active energy and the spark of the fire suit.   In the same vein, so does the representation of Cayenne used in this card.

Cayenne is a decongestant, an antibacterial, an anti-irritant, and an anti-inflammatory circulatory stimulant. It’s medicinal uses are known world wide, and are extremely diverse. Metaphysically it’s uses often lean more towards the love and passion side of things, and it is also useful in protection spells as well as promoting courage.

The message in this card today is about the courage of being bold and being yourself.  Sometimes everyone has self doubts, and that includes me.  Awkwardness creeps in and you find yourself hesitating and feeling a bit “off”.   With a hint of the drop niggling at my core, that vulnerability can create that hesitation in doubt in myself… and the message in this card coming up today is to not allow that niggling to drag me down and under into a place where I feel the need to retreat or put on a mask of invulnerability.

Instead… Stand tall. Be yourself.  Be bold.

DECK USED:  HERBCRAFTER’S TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic:  I’m so overwhelmed.
Question:  How does over-commitment impact my mental health?

Tarot Maddonni

Reading Summary: More “acting out” concerning my addictions (Le Diable). Less able to accept stabilizing comfort from Gideon (King of Cups Rx). Less joy and enjoyment in life (The Sun in reference to how tired and un-enthused the face of the sun appears).

Take Away:  Over-commitment breeds a need for escapism, self destructive tendencies, and self-soothing in unhealthy ways.  Instead of seeking soothing from healthy sources, the sense of overwhelm creates a tendency to close myself off from those healthy outlets and has me seeking out unhealthy ones instead.  It also creates burnout, which causes an overall lack of enthusiasm for… well, just about damned near everything.

DECK USED:  TAROT MADDONNI

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do I need to focus on for self-care for this new moon?

Way of the Panda TarotReading Summary:Remember that the good stuff takes time to develop and don’t get all defensive or up in arms if that growth takes longer than you think it should (Seven of Swords).  You may have others clamoring for you to share the wealth (Six of Pentacles) but now is not the time (Seven of Swords).

[Note the presence of a star even within the imagery of the Sword card, tying it into the theme of the Pentacle cards.]

Take Away:  This is another warning to “stay in my lane” and focus on long term benefits at this time in my life. The new moon is a good time to start new things, and to turn things around and start anew.   The cards here indicate that what I need to start anew is the “long term” perspective concerning my goals and ambitions concerning my security and stability of health and home.  Be the miser and take this time to foster growth.

DECK USED:  WAY OF THE PANDA TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic:  new moon in cancer:  look back // lay the foundation // look ahead

Tarotbot Tarot

Nine of Wands – Look back at the time I took off and how it lightened my feeling of burden. Keep this in mind and make sure that I use that experience to encourage further times of rest, bolstering me so that I can move forward again with my strength renewed.

Knight of Wands – Lay the foundation for the holiday rush. It’s time to start looking at what needs preparation so that when the time comes, I’m ready to surge forward into it.

Queen of Swords – Look ahead at making wise decisions that will allow for growth rather than focusing on negative inner dialogue that creates road blocks and inner strife.

DECK USED:  TAROTBOT TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question:  How does a creative blockage feel?

Karma TarotReading Summary: Like my synergy (Three of Cups) to my inner fire (Ace of Wands) and ability to manifest (Lilith) are being blocked (Rx of the Three of Cups), and that this is then standing in the way to any kind of emotional fulfillment (Ten of Cups) that I would usually get from creative pursuits.

Take Away:  I garner a sensation of emotional fulfillment when I am deep within my creative process and bringing to reality the combination of my inner spark’s passion combined with the ideas in my mind.  This process of manifestation is joyous and when there is a creative block in play, it feels as if all of the synergy and coordination between these different aspects of myself is out of whack.

DECK USED:  KARMA TAROT

Familiar Comforts

/ Twist the Leaf / 2 Comments

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and I admit that I was a little distracted because I was eager to get out and go hiking. I did a second meditation in the woods lying naked on the forest floor in the mountains before going above the treeline, and that was much more relaxing. Although I didn’t time it, I would estimate the meditation probably lasted about half an hour… maybe a bit longer.

Cosmos Tarot and OracleToday’s draw is the Ten of Air (Ten of Swords) which is traditionally read as “the end of the line” of the tragedies of the Swords suit and is a culmination of the suit’s struggles.  It indicates themes that have to do with defeat, betrayal, and wounds that cut deep.

What stood out strongest to me in the imagery of this card today is the defeated slump of Medusa’s posture, but even more so… the snake that is closest to her face which then brings my attention to the others in the light… and from there the others yet still hidden in the shadows. In noticing this I feel that they must offer some sort of comfort.  They have been with her all this time and are surely, even as they are a part of her, also a comfort to her that they are there in this moment.

The message in today’s card is about not allowing times when you feel defeated by wounds (internal or external) that have cut you down also isolate you. Take comfort in others, seek out those that love you and care about you, find those that will sit and make space for you to just be… you.   Don’t look to them to solve anything, but take comfort in their presence and the fact that they are there.   You are not alone.

With my subdrop sure to be just around the corner, today’s card is a reminder that when I am feeling out of sorts from the drop, you are there for me to help me through.  Just your presence makes things better and eases that ache inside my soul.  I need to not hold myself apart and strive instead to move in closer and let you soothe the drop and untangle those inner knots that the drop creates.

DECK USED:  COSMOS TAROT AND ORACLE

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling with self-worth.
Question:  How can I be more mindful about challenging and correcting negative self-talk?

Way of the Panda Tarot

Reading Summary: Remember to look at things from another angle (Judgement) and pay attention to the fact that you really have done a lot (Ten of Pentacles) and you’re a hard worker with great deal of hard earned skill (Eight of Pentacles).

Take Away: Instead of allowing my inner narrative to have free reign, pay attention to what you hear with your ears and take that to heart. You’ve spent your life refusing to allow people’s perceptions of you matter, but those same perceptions can boost you up and create a positive narrative to help you in counteracting the negative inner dialogue you deal with on a constant basis.

Remember as well that you have created a comfortable life not just for yourself, but for L as well.  You share your stability and comfort with others, and are more than capable of sustaining it going forward.  The skills you have worked so hard to master, and have used to create this stability  in your life, are not going to just disappear.

DECK USED:  WAY OF THE PANDA TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Question:  How can I feel more grounded on my life’s current path?

Evolution TarotReading Summary: Make sure you are getting the alone time that you need (The Hermit) and use that time to forge a new path for your inner dialogue (Knight of Swords). Keep in mind that positivity and optimism (The Star) is not a natural state for you and takes repetition and diligence (Knight of Swords again).

There is a theme of darkness and purple through each of these three cards that does not carry through the entire deck.  This speaks to me of not just solitude, but peaceful solitude.  This is why I indicate that the cards say that I need to use the alone time for distancing from my normal inner critic’s dialogue.

Take Away:  Peaceful alone time and continued work on the optimism perspective will combine to give me an increased feeling of grounding in my life at this time. Neglecting my alone time now that I have the opportunity to get it (even if not in the same ways I could before) is detrimental and I need to make sure I’m fitting that in.

DECK USED:  EVOLUTION TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Question:  pencil // pen  // permanent marker // tattoo

Slavic Tarot

Recipe For A Good Life

Pencil in the hardships.
Add strength and purpose in pen.
Write in nurturing balance in permanent marker.
And tattoo motivation and drive into your soul.

DECK USED:  SLAVIC TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question:  How can I think more creatively?

Karma Tarot

Reading Summary: Don’t allow (Seven of Wands) your addictions (The Devil) to get in the way of your motivation (Eight of Wands).

Take Away:  Having an addictive personality is a bitch.  Just sayin’.   But it’s really hard sometimes to force yourself away from the stuff that feels good and you want more of.  Whether that’s certain foods, or sleep, or whatever…  So many things seem so innocuous but can become a mess of addiction and patterns that need to be broken so easily… so very easily.

The cards here indicate that it’s by staying on top of that addictive personality trait and making sure it’s kept in hand that allows my creativity free reign to flourish and grow.

DECK USED:  KARMA TAROT

Cleansing Energies and Fresh Air

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was just under twenty minutes long, and was another purr-focused meditation as Luna again decided to come cuddle up against the side of my head while I was meditating, which shifted my focus from my breathing to her purring.

I really like this type of meditation.  It’s extremely relaxing.  I didn’t immediately fall asleep this time, but it was still really nice and I ended up lingering longer than I would have because I was really enjoying it.

The Herbcrafter's TarotToday’s draw is the Sun card, which is traditionally a representation of hope, joyous celebration, and all around good ol’ fun.

Spiritually speaking, Hypericum perforatum (St Johns Wort) is used to invoke the healing powers of light against the darkness and this is expressed no more evidently than it’s medical use as well, as medically this herb is best known for its anti-depressant properties.

The message in today’s card is about seeking out positive healing experiences and spending time outside soaking up the goodness of vitamin D while taking in the cleansing energies and fresh air of being outside among nature.

DECK USED:  HERBCRAFTER’S TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJuly Challenge Prompt
Topic:  I’m struggling to find my purpose.
Question: Why am I struggling to be honest with myself?

Aquarian Tarot

Reading Summary: Because change is hard… Juggling in my old way of doing things is hard to let go of (Two of Pentacles) because that familiarity is comforting to me (Six of Cups) and makes it difficult to choose a different path (Two of Rods).

Take Away:  It’s difficult to admit when you’re struggling, and that applies to me as well. I struggle all the time with the draw of the familiar and temptation to sink back into what I know so well rather than staying focused on the new path I’ve chosen for myself.  That struggle is… embarrassing and something that’s difficult to admit.

DECK USED:  AQUARIAN TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Is it always better to have more choices?

Wheel of the Year TarotReading Summary: There are always more choices available to us than we realize (The Fool). But as humans, we are not in the habit (The Devil) of seeking them out and instead stick with what we know (Six of Cups). When we do this, we miss out on long reaching opportunities and rewards (Seven of Pentacles).

Take Away:  I would interpret this answer as yes… and no.  What it’s saying is that we only perceive the number of choices we are able to handle… but that there are always more out there we cannot see.  When we open our minds to them, they become available to us… so I guess in my opinion this would be a yes.   Because the more open minded you are to possibilities and thinking outside the box, the more choices you have available to you… and I consider open mindedness and thinking outside the box to always be a good thing.

DECK USED:  WHEEL OF THE YEAR TAROT

#OwlandBonesJuly Challenge by Owl and Bones Tarot
Topic:  plant the seed // take root // grow

Karma Tarot

Plant the seeds of doing things in a more patient and measured way (Knight of Coins)

Take root a more restrained approach (Temperance) over the wild charge driven by passionate intensity and interest (Knight of Swords).

Grow each day that you follow this path. With each day you practice this new form of patience, restraint, and measured approach, you build up the ability to instill these traits into your daily life with more skill and less effort (Strength).

DECK USED:  KARMA TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: Do I believe I am creative? Why or Why not?

The Fifth TarotReading Summary: Yes (One of Shells). This is evident because I struggle with keeping a balance (Seven of Feathers Rx) between my responsibilities (Nine of Feathers) and the passion of my inner spark that drives me to go after and take part in (more like get carried away by) the things that inspire my creativity (Initiate of Fire). I often feel that my responsibilities (Nine of Feathers) are stealing away from (Seven of Feathers) my creative time (Initiate of Fire), and vice versa.

Take Away:  If I was not creative, there would be no struggle between my responsibilities and my passionate pursuit of those things that strike my interest.  It is in my nature to be both earthbound and realistic (Taurus Sun) as well as creativity driven (Scorpio Moon).  This conflict between the two is evidence of both sides of the coin and the constant need to find balance between them… thus evidence of my creativity.

DECK USED:  THE FIFTH TAROT