Move Your Ass… and Theirs Too

Today’s meditation was skipped in respect for orders day and needed to get a jump on all that needed to be done so that I could get orders shipped out tomorrow.

Isidore Tarot Sea and Sand Spring Edition and Flower Fortune CardsToday’s draw is the Chariot card, which is traditionally a representation of control, determination, willpower and the application of these things to a chosen direction and success.  This card is about action.

Here in this card we see that the Chariot is fully controlled by the penguin king while fantastical creatures pull him forward to his destination.  This is a team effort, but there is a clear leader here in this image that all these other fierce creatures take orders from.

Combined with the Flower Fortunes card for today, which states to “harness your competitive instincts”, what I see here is about getting things done.   Sometimes it’s not enough to put our mind to the task or delegate tasks.  Sometimes you need to actually make it a game and stir up people’s competitive instincts. Inspire yourself and others by using those feelings to spur things forward at a faster speed.

The message here is to “get your shit done, and use your competitive instincts to make it happen”. For me, today is an order day, and the cards say that if I put myself to the task of getting things done and dare the girls to compete with me in the process, that I can get my work done quickly and enjoy a bit of down time at the end of the day without all of the stress and the guilt that sneaks in when I’m moving at a slower pace.


Raven Willow Tarot’s Emotional Exploration Prompt
Question for May 27th and 28th

Undersea TarotWhat role does serenity play in my life?

Serenity helps in choosing healthier ways of viewing yourself (Judgement) and the choices you make (Seven of Shells) in those moments when you backslide into old bad habits (Ten of Tridents).

Without serenity, my inner critic is too harsh. That moment of peace and calm I reach inside to find helps me be kinder to myself when I make mistakes, and helps me put myself back on track instead of getting stuck in a cycle of negative inner dialogue

How can I enhance serenity in my life?

Trust those that you spend your down time with (Three of Shells) to stand by you and help you defeat (Five of Swords) the bad habits and addictive temptations that become unhealthy (The Devil).

Knowing that others are there to help me and assist in catching me when I fall out of line and might not see it right away myself provides a sense of security and soothes worry.  This in turn helps foster a greater sense of serenity in my life, and these people become a touchstone for me to return to when I feel I’m overwhelmed or veering off track.


#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
: How can you better utilize your free time?

Isidore Tarot Sea and Sand Spring EditionReading Summary: Focus on the gradual changes you’ve been working on (Death) and building the new system that will work better for you (The Tower) then was there before (Three of Swords).

Take Away: In the past, I pushed myself to exhaustion.  I worked a minimum of eighteen hours a day and I never took days off for any reason.  Even when I traveled to visit family, I brought a large amount of work with me and worked through this time away.  When I hit burnout, I would take “a couple of days” to rest where I would then sneak work into those days to do anyway. I closed myself off from my guides, who then had to conceal themselves as my intuition just to get through to me, and buried my emotions, ignoring them and the shadow and internal wounds that I was abusing.

I’ve been working for nearly two years now on not just my emotional growth (which I write about quite often), but also on building a stronger connection between myself and my guides, and creating a better work/life balance that will allow for more self-care and less burn out.  These cards are a reminder that I need to continue focusing on this healthier path during free time, instead of allowing myself to backslide into old habits that no longer serve me and are, in fact, extremely unhealthy.


Daily Self Kindness

I’ve worked hard to make sure that I got my orders done at a decent time tonight so that I could get some sleep before having to do my drive tomorrow.

Put Your Oxygen Mask On First

IMG_1551Today’s meditation was just under thirteen minutes long and was a guided meditation with the Calm app combined with an interval timer for my piriformis stretching. I’ve done a lot of skipping in meditation lately, and my stretches are definitely telling me that this is a bad idea. I’ve been having a bit more trouble with my lower back as well over the past week. It’s time to get back into things, either that or I’m going to have to increase my chiropractor visits.  I’d rather not sink the money into that option.

The focus of today’s meditation was about  how sometimes the first step in any journey can be the hardest. The thing is, though, the first step doesn’t have to be a big one. None of the steps on that journey need to be big ones. As long as you’re at least shuffling along a few inches at a time? You’re still making progress.  It might not feel like it, but it’s still progress.

Isidore Tarot Sea and Sand Spring Edition and Flower Fortune CardsToday’s draw is the Ten of Coins, which is traditionally a representation of stability and security obtained through hard work and shared with others.  These themes often center around financial success, good health, stability and security at home, and other material themes being shared with those closest to you such as family and friends.

In this manner, the well dressed bird in the imagery of today’s card shares his wealth and good fortune with the other birds  in his care, building them a luxurious house and making sure that they are comfortable and well cared for.

Combined with the Flower Fortunes card for today, which states that “Before trying to please others, firstly think of what makes you happy”, there is a message here today not just about tending to one’s own happiness, but also your own needs and self care.

No matter how much you want to care for others, it is absolutely imperative that you care for yourself first. You cannot expect your body, your finances, or your stamina to old out if you are not giving it what it needs.  That includes down time, good food, happiness, and all the other things that you need to care for yourself.   Just as you need to make money before you can share the wealth, you have to make sure you have found your  happiness before you can make others happy.  Doing it the other way around doesn’t make sense and is extremely unhealthy.


Raven Willow Tarot’s Emotional Exploration Prompt
for May 17th & 18th

The Alchemist's GardenWhat role does pride play in my life?

Eight of Swords (Monkshood) – If it is not held in check by a heavy dose of self-awareness and objectivity, pride can blind you to the truth.

Five of Cups (Taique) – It can drag us down when we take pride in things that aren’t meant for us. We then miss those things that are.

Seven of Wands (Living Rock) – Pride lights fire beneath our convictions, principles, and values, giving us the strength to stand fast against opposition that tries to rise up against what we feel is right.

How can I better enhance the positive aspects of pride?

The Emperor (San Pedro) – When you feel that pride is cutting you off from seeing the whole picture, take ownership of that feeling and the fact that the blockage is coming from within you instead of from an external source. Explore and seek to understand what’s going on rather than letting it pass by unnoticed.

Nine of Pentacles (Sassafras) – When feeling a sense of entitlement and discontent, pause to take a look around at what you really have, how far you’ve come, how much you’ve truly accomplished, and how good you really have it

Four of Pentacles (Lions Mane) – In times when you stand up for what you believe in, make sure that you have steady footing and that you are not cutting down others in the process of lifting yourself up.


#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
: In what area are you not practicing enough self-care?

Isidore Tarot Sea and Sand Spring EditionReading Summary: You’re not giving yourself enough benefit of the doubt (Strength) where finding balance in your life is concerned (Two of Coins). Moderation is not a punishment, but a path to better things (Temperance), so lift yourself up with optimism and hope, and start looking at this effort in a more positive light (The Star).

Take Away: The message here is about moderation and optimism.  Here is where the lack resides and where I need to work on fostering something more hopeful, positive, and lighthearted.

My naturally pessimistic tendencies have started to come out a bit more strongly of late, and they need to be brought back in hand (along with that negative inner narrative in my head).  It’s important to remember to celebrate your accomplishments along the way, even the tiny ones.  Each step forward is progress, no matter how small that step might be.


Daily Self Kindness

I had myself a nice epsom salt and apple cider soak in the tub today, and even managed to not fall asleep in the process!

The First Step Is The Hardest

IMG_5932Today’s meditation was another untimed meditation, this time on the ground at the farm.  I needed some time to do some rooting with the earth, and if I can’t do it out in the forest right now without a supervisor, I could at least get a brief amount of time on the farm alone in one of the fields behind the barn.

The thing is?  Although I can visualize my connection to the earth and I can tap into the energy of that element at will (as described to the right in the image there), it can never compare to having an actual connection to bare earth.  Of lying down and connecting mind, body, and soul to the earth beneath you.  There is no comparison, and the mental connection, although a strong one, will always only be a shadow to the real thing.  I need that connection, raw and unblemished, unfiltered and without barriers.  Sometimes?  Nothing else will do.

Trinity Tarot and Flower Fortune OracleToday’s draw is the Strength card, which is traditionally a representation of inner strength, courage,  and compassionate coercion.

Although when people think of the word “strength” they often think of muscle and brute force, this cards is about a different kind of strength.  Instead it is about that inner core that keeps us going, the compassion that we feel for others, and the kindness we offer even as we use persuasion to turn people to our way of thinking or our will.

Combined with the Flower Fortune card for today, which states “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”, what I see here is a message about determination and perseverance.

There are always journeys in life that we are hesitant to start on from time to time.  We hang back and hesitate, pause and procrastinate instead of taking the action needed to begin and get moving.  Sometimes this is because we are afraid, sometimes we just feel overwhelmed. It’s through tapping into our inner strength that we can find the “mettle” needed to step into that journey and get started. We all have that inner strength, it’s just sometimes we have to more consciously connect with it than others.


The Sacred Grounds Tarot Club Prompt
: How can I best nurture my personal growth?

Isidore Tarot Sea and Sand Spring Edition

Reading Summary: Lean in (Queen of Wands). Go after the growth you want with the understanding that it’s going to take a long time to get there (Seven of Coins atop Knight of Swords) and that you’re gonna have to leave some shit behind in order to find something new (Six of Swords).

Take Away: It’s all about knowing what works for me, and leaning into that using past experience as a guide. It’s about not giving up when things take longer than anticipated, and about making sure I’m making room in my life for the changes and growth that needs to happen.  Each of these represents a stage in my growth that I move through, and the aspect in that stage where I struggle upon the path of my personal growth.

Not procrastinating. Acceptance of the “long game”.  And “making room”.


#DiscordTarotolicsMay2021 Challenge Prompt
: Do Spread #1

Trinity Tarot and Floret OracleWhat positive quality do I have that others admire?
Keeper of Pentacles atop The Lovers, Scabiosa and Marigold

My ability to support, help, and guide people when they need it towards making the choices that are right for them. My personal experience doing the same, and my openness in sharing my own experiences, helps them in focusing on how the choices before them feel to them personally. This skill feels warm and nurturing, and helps them in sussing out the choices that are just right for their unique path.

What positive quality do I wish I had that I admire in others?
Seven of Wands and Sunflower

I would love to be able to project positivity even in the middle of conflict and adversity. I have seen people who stand strong in their moral compass and principals even while they smile warmly.  It’s a unique skill that keeps things from truly turning ugly.

What step(s) can I take now to work toward developing that quality in myself?
Champion of Cups atop Six of Cups, Hydrangea

Tap into love and caring and actively connecting into the emotions of joy and youthful optimism could help immensely in this, but you have to remember as well not to expect every conflict to come to a head.  Not everyone is out to fuck you over or hurt you, no matter what you were raised to believe and how cautious you were raised to be. Work at having a bit more faith in humanity.

What step(s) can I take to make the positive qualities I have shine brightly?
Ten of Wands and Lily

Allow those around you to help with your burdens.  You spend too much time in the cycle of overwhelm and recovery.  If you distribute the eight of your responsibilities more evenly and allow others to help more, this wouldn’t be the case and you would then have more time and energy for…. well, everything else in life.


Daily Self Kindness

I gave Gideon a tour of my balcony garden today and it was really nice.  I loved sharing all the plants and flowers with him.

The Ant and The Grasshopper

IMG_4015Today’s meditation was fifteen minutes long and was attached to the end of my yoga practice.   I had read the quote pictured in this blog post prior to going into my yoga practice, and it stuck with me through the practice and into the meditation.

It had me considering some of those people I have met in life that have appeared cold to me, and how I often come off to others as cold and distant.  You have told me in the past that these people just haven’t had the chance to get to know me, but the fact is?  Should they need to get to know me to know that I’m not cold and distant? Should they need to get to know me in order to realize I, too, have feelings?

And yet, that impression?  Is mine.   That distance is created by me, whether it’s to protect myself or to protect them from the depression and vicious negativity I direct toward myself… or both.

Just the meandering path of my mind during that time… something to share.

Nine of Oak - Nine of Pentacles - Stolen Child TarotToday’s draw is is the Nine of Oak (Nine of Pentacles) which is traditionally a representation of solitary accomplishment.  That is to say, it represents that time at the end of a journey where you have accomplished your goal and find yourself in a place of abundance.   During this time, there is a moment when you enjoy that abundance on your own before moving on to sharing it with others.   The Nine of Pentacles is that moment of enjoyment and wealth that comes prior to the “sharing the wealth”.

What I actually see today in the imagery of this card, though, isn’t that moment… but the moment that comes just before it.   In the imagery of this card I see the moment when you are counting your resources and tucking things away, storing up and preparing.  The squirrel and the squirrel child here are not wallowing in their wealth and reflecting on how well they’ve done.  They are not in a moment of contentment and satiation.  But they are headed in that direction.

The message here is one of encouragement.  A reminder that I am doing well and the preparations I have made over time to create a sense of stability and security are going to pay off when I need them to.


#TarotForGrowthApril Challenge Prompt
: What can I do to remind myself of the hand my spirit guides play in my life? (built off yesterday’s cards)

Isidore Tarot

Reading Summary: Listen to and trust your intuition (The Priestess) instead of allowing the brain to overcome (Five of Swords) and steal away (Seven of Swords) the surety and comfort (King of Cups) that being in touch with that inner voice creates.

Take Away:  Like most people, my brain loves.. loves to cast doubt.  And in finding that connection to my spirit guides that I’ve been seeking?  That is the biggest hurdle to traverse. As connected as I am to my intuition, it’s still extremely hard to keep my brain from stepping in to cast doubts on what doesn’t feel quite fully manifested as yet.


#DiscordTarotholicsApr2020 Challenge Prompt
: What is my superpower?

Maruco Animal TarotReading Summary: Having a clear head (Queen of Swords) and an open mind (Page of Swords) while taking control (The Emperor) of any situation that requires flexibility and adaptation (Wheel of Fortune).

Take Away:  Perhaps this skill is because I have spent so much of my life suppressing my emotions, but when situations require a clear head, this is not something I usually struggle with.   The emotions turn off, and my brain kicks it up a notch. 

This is actually something I’ve been a bit worried about, when considering the new level of emotions and openness to my emotions that I’ve been slowly exploring and developing over time.  There is always that bit of worry that that objective, clearheaded intellect will become clouded by emotion and damage my ability to step back and see multiple perspectives without the pollution of bias getting in the way.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
: How can I become more self loving?

Fairy Lights Tarot

Reading Summary: Work on taking more chances (Left Card) and entertain less self recrimination (Middle Card) and self doubt (Right Card).

The imagery in the left card gives me the impression of swinging from a branch over a cliff, and it reminds me of those swings kids use to swing out over swimming holes and jump.  Sometimes? Taking chances leads to adventure and joyous moments that you can’t find any other way.

In the middle card, the posture of the figures in the center speaks to me of shame and a feeling of defense from attack.   This impression is strengthened by the darkness of the shadows of their robes.

The moon in the right card frowns down upon the figures along the path.  While some bound forward toward that judging visage, others hold back, unsure and fearful.  The red and orange colors in this card also blend into that of the center card, indicating  a connection… a similarity of emotion between the two.

Take Away:  If I want to be more self loving, I need to let go of my self recriminations, my hesitations, and my self doubt.  Instead of allowing these moments to fill my life, I need to leap at the chance to grab hold of the opportunities for joy and revel in the fun that comes with new adventures.


The Sky Is Falling

sacredToday’s meditation was just over twenty minutes long and a bit different than my normal meditation.   I tried another of those “meet your spirit guides” meditations from YouTube.

There’s a couple of different things that I realized from today’s meditation that might be why I’m struggling with the guided meditations of this nature.

The first thing is the fact that they don’t really do any sort of guided relaxation beforehand.  They just jump right in without any “take a breath” or “relax your muscles” or any relaxation technique before getting started.    I think that this is something that would really help me in finding that level of consciousness that would get me where I need to be in the meeting your guides part of the meditation.

The second thing that I noticed is that literally all of the meditations I’ve tried on this topic are essentially astral travel assisted connections. They all involve the whole “rising above” out of body type guidance that you are given for astral travel work.  The problem with this is that I don’t astral travel. Can’t, actually.  The prevailing theory is that it is because I’m so grounded, and so deeply rooted into that grounding, that I can’t rise into that airy un-grounded space and float free. Regardless of the reason why, though, the fact of the matter is that I did really well with the meditation right up until the point that they tried to get me into the astral plane, and then… it all fell to shit.

So… I will keep trying.  Maybe if I listen to enough of them sooner or later I will have learned enough of the non-astral methodology that I can then piece those parts together into a more grounded method that might work specifically for me.

Nine of Zephyrs - Nine of Swords - Stolen Child TarotToday’s draw is the Nine of Zephyrs (Nine of Swords) which is traditionally a representation of worries, anxieties and mental overwhelm leading to themes that do with anxiety and occasionally mental illness.

When I saw the card today, what really stuck out to me was the phrase “the sky is falling” which then brought to mind the story of Chicken Little from which that phrase originated.

This story is essentially about blowing things out of proportion which I didn’t really have a match for until this evening and the need to step back from a situation and allow others to deal with and handle it.  Normally, it’s the sort of situation I would step in and act on, but I was unable to do so in this instance because I might have been overreacting and blowing things out of proportion due of my own personal issues concerning those involved.

It was… ridiculously hard to step away.


#DiscordTarotholicsApr2020 Challenge Prompt
: Am I ethically obligated to improve myself?

White Sage TarotReading Summary: When you improve yourself (Page of Wands) you create a healing and stability (Four of Swords) that spreads outward to heal the world (The Sun).

Take Away:  Absolutely. As I improve myself, I subsequently improve the world around me. Ethically speaking, it is the most base and basic way in which we can improve the world and the lives of others. Butterfly effect. 


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
: What does my inner critic say to me most often?

Shadowland Tarot

Reading Summary: It picks at my scarcity issues (Four of Cups) and my fear of losing my stability (Two of Pentacles). Other two cards are advice. Be good to yourself (Empress) and lighten up (The Sun).  And, just sayin’? That Four of Cups so very speaks to me of those scarcity issues btw. LOL

Take Away:  Scarcity and my fear of things falling apart are really my biggest fears, and are also the fears that were triggered the most strongly at the beginning of this pandemic.  Although I’ve gotten a handle on those fears, that is where my inner critic tries to pick at the most when it raises its ugly head.

The cards were also kind enough to give me encouragement, though (cuz I pushed for a third card rather than letting it stick with the first two) in the form of advice, reminding me that I need to be kind to myself and make an effort to strive towards optimism when my inner critic is trying to pick at those worries.


Clarity and Solid Footing

IMG_E3044Today’s meditation was just over fifteen minutes long and was not a guided meditation.  Instead, I spent the meditation first taking time to focus upon my breath, and then expanded my focus to the expansion and contraction of my personal energy, allowing my energy to stretch outward further and further, then pulling it back in again in slow increments.   It is a bit like stretching, but for your energy instead of your body.

I then pulled my energy back in and spent a bit of extra time breathing through the tension in my hip as I worked on my piriformis stretches. I might have to step up my yoga/physiotherapy a bit, as I’m not getting as much physical activity as I’m used to and I feel like it’s starting to effect my mobility a bit.

Healing Mantra DeckToday’s draw is the “Cultivating Courage” card from the Healing Mantra Deck.

I really liked this part of the message from the book for this deck.  It says that when you cultivate your courage, it helps you in pinpointing what your best options are when moving along your path, and that “Such options may not always match up with the things you want, but they will always give you the exact experiences you need to further evolve your soul.”

I think that’s a really good way to look at things.  We can’t always have what we want, and sometimes the viable choices in front of you just plain suck. But with inner strength and courage, you can decisively make decisions even when those decisions aren’t ideal.  That courage helps you to not shirk away… and allows you to make decisions with a clear mind rather than making choices out of fear or emotional reactivity.


#TarotForGrowthApril Challenge Prompt
: How can I use current opportunities to take back control of my body issues? (built off yesterday’s cards)

Considerate Cat Tarot

Reading Summary: Move away from the negative shit (Six of Swords) and take some time for inner reflection (The Hermit) so that I can then move forward into the future open to new adventures (Son of Wands).

Take Away:  I’ve gotten this exact same answer before from a very similar question. This is a continuation on the theme of taking this time of seclusion and lockdown to prepare and plan for a better time.  To get my ducks in a row, and get in touch with what I want and need for the future so that once the restrictions lift I am prepared to move forward with those things that are important to me that I want to grow into something bigger and better.


#DiscordTarotholicsApr2020 Challenge Prompt
: What do I need to focus on for self care during this full moon?

Isidore Tarot

Reading Summary:  Have a little fun (The Fool), but make sure I’m not procrastinating (Eight of Wands) on anything related to my resources (Ace of Coins)

Take Away:  I have a habit of taking things a bit too seriously more often than not, and that includes taking myself a bit too seriously.   The cards indicate I need to try and lighten up a bit, but not so much that I lose track of the very important responsibilities I have at the moment concerning our (at home) resources and foundational stability.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
: When will I be good enough?

Bunny Tarot

Reading Summary:  You’re already there, you idiot.  (Well thank you very much, cute little bunnies. *LOL*)

I have all the tools (Magician) and a substantial amount of curiosity (Page of Cups) to go with those tools.  I’m not shy about going after what I want or feel (Knight of Cups) and have a secret treasure trove of stability to help keep things balanced (Four of Coins).

Take Away:  I was expecting the cards to tell me somewhere I need to work on improvement to get to that “good enough” status.  Instead it called me out for not appreciating what I already have.   I’m already good enough and need to pay more attention to the positive aspects of myself, rather than focusing on the negative and nitpicking it to death.


#MidnightTarotChallenge Prompt
Question: How do I contribute to the collective?


Reading Summary:  I point out what isn’t sustainable (Seven of Coins) and help in creating a better plan(Three of Wands) to carry things forward using a more stable (page of Coins) and judicious perspective (King of Swords).

Take Away:  I contribute to others by helping people in finding a sustainable direction forward along their path, no matter what the topic or path might be.   This is truly a joy for me to be able to provide this perspective for others and help them in finding a way forward that works for them and feels right for them.