Hilda Tarot

Unnecessary Punishments

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and combined with my piriformis stretches, although it was not combined with an interval timer.  I tried out a new meditation app today.  The first ten days are a bit of a trial run where they are supposed to “build a practice” around how you react to the first ten sessions and your goals.  This one went by really quickly, and I’ll be continuing with this process for the next handful of days to see how I feel about this app.

True North Tarot and Less Anxiety Affirmation CardsToday’s draw is the Three of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of disappointments and heartbreak, although not always of the romantic variety. It’s about the letdowns and the regrets in life, the things that stir within us sorry, grief, and other emotional hurts.

When I see this particular Three of Swords, the emotion that comes through is an ache of betrayal.  We have betrayed the earth with our concrete and asphalt, poison and pollution.  We’ve broken the world.  That is what the imagery of today’s card says to me.

Sometimes when we’re feeling down, we feel like we’ve disappointed, or we’ve been disappointed by others, instead of being kind to ourselves we punish ourselves by wallowing in the painful emotions that arise, as if the situation is our fault instead of something that happened to us. This prolongs our pain, making the disappointment and feelings of life’s betrayal upon us stretch out and disrupt more of our lives.

The thing is?  When you fall down and scrape a knee, it doesn’t mean that it’s now time to sit down and dig into the wound with a dirty stick.

The message in today’s cards is that there is a healthier response to these moments in our lives. Instead of punishing ourselves and wallowing in the negativity bred by these situations, we can be kind to ourselves and help the healing process begin and flourish.

DECK USED:  TRUE NORTH TAROT AND LESS ANXIETY AFFIRMATION CARDS

Mr Lionharts’ #TheJulyTarot #TarotSuitsChallenge Prompt
Questions for July 15th and 16th

Hilda TarotHow or where can I benefit from letting go or going with the flow?
Six of Cups and The Devil

Letting go of some of your past issues from your childhood can help ease you away from crossing the line concerning the things that you enjoy and taking things too far. This in turn helps to reduce some of the more negative consequences that result from indulging in your temptations and addictions.

Something I am asked to reflect / meditate on right now.
The Hierophant and Ace of Cups

Work on identifying ways to take care of yourself outside your norm. By mixing things up, self care can become less of a chore and more of a joy. As much as you appreciate stability and routine, there are just some times that you need to include a bit more diversity to keep things interesting.

DECK USED: HILDA TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJul2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Draw or write something free form inspired by the card(s).

True North TarotSomething short and sweet today…

There was once a young prince  that more than anything wanted (Page of Wands) to be King (Frog in the Page of Wands staring at the King of Cups).

Unfortunately, on his way to the top he forgot that without the strength and support of others joining you on your journey (Three of Cups), any amount of success or power gained will be empty and without satisfaction (Nine of Coins Rx).

DECK USED: TRUE NORTH TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I’m feeling really vulnerable today after the play last night with Gideon.  I made sure to keep my schedule as clear as possible today to make sure I had time with Gideon to help soothe that sense of vulnerability.

Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

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These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Hilda Tarot, Hedgewitch Botanical Tarot, Oilracle Essential Oils Card Deck

Earth – Nine of Wands and Dogwood (Defend) – You have physically come to the end of your rope and it’s time to build yourself up again.  Don’t face outward, for it’s your inner health and defenses that need healed and set in balance. This week is all about recovering “from battle” and getting yourself back up to snuff.

Air – Ten of Pentacles and Foxglove (Connection) – Even those things that are toxic have their place in our lives, and their uses beyond what’s harmful. This week, take a look at what’s toxic in your life, including your inner dialogue, and ascertain if there is anything useful about it.  If so, be grateful for it’s presence.  If not? Now’s the time to cut it out of your life so that you can focus on what’s really important.

Water – Judgement and Indigo (Enhance) – Another useful, but toxic plant. Another prompt to seek out what’s useful in your life, and what isn’t suiting your purpose.  Sometimes, we hold onto things just because they “look good” or “feel good”, and yet they aren’t healthy nor align with our goals and principles.

Fire – The Chariot and Hawthorn (Sacred) – The tasks set above, where it comes to centering your self on your path and to the principles that rule your life, are the theme of this week. Don’t forget that your path is sacred, and as you move to separate wheat from chaff, ensure you set your strength and determination behind the process.

Waning – Dragon Time atop Eucalyptus Radiata – Dawdling and doing nothing is not what this week is about. Don’t just spend this time enjoying the atmosphere and soothe the soul.

Waxing – Thieves – Cleansing and boundaries, protection and discernment.  As outlined in the reading above, all of these things need to come into play in the theme of this week.  Make sure that you are staying centered and ensure that you clear out what needs to be released.

Take Away – This entire reading is about attuning to my values and principles.  It’s about ensuring I’m leaving behind those things that no longer harmonize with what I want out of life.  Now is the time to look at these things, and begin discerning what needs cut free so that you can fly.

DECKS USED:  HILDA TAROT, HEDGEWITCH BOTANICAL ORACLE, OILRACLE ESSENTIAL OIL CARD DECK

Transitioning from August to September

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This is a spread that I do at the end of each month to close out the month.

Month End Tarot Check In - Hilda Tarot, Roots and Wings Oracle

Individuality – The High Priestess, Six of Swords, Earth Mother – I’m in the process of trying to find a balance between my intuitive self and my more grounded qualities.  I’ve recently discovered that to find an easy balance is going to take scrapping old methods and rebuilding a dynamic that is more hospitable to both.

Dependence – Nine of Pentacles, Nine of Cups, The Divine – As I move further into the fall and closer to the holiday rush, I begin to step away from a sense of wallowing in the comfort and security I’ve created.  Although spirituality will continue to play a part in my life even through the silly season, I am aware that I will need to let go of some practices for a bit until things calm down again.

Creativity – King of Wands, Potential, Wildness – I leave behind the shelter of wallowing in comfort in order to reach for what I want out of the months to come.  I focus ahead now, seeking the potential that the holiday rush represents.  It’s a wild ride, but one I willingly do each year as my finances depend upon the holiday rush to balance out.

Limitation – Seven of Swords and Perseverance – While looking ahead toward the holiday rush, don’t freak out about the time passing by.  You only have so long to prepare for what’s coming, but you need to accept as well that distractions happen and using time for self care and other things that are good for you  isn’t wasting time.  Yes, it might mean you get a bit less done, but it means that you are building yourself up to last longer in the long run.

Change – The Magician and The Void – The Magician has been following me around a lot over the past few days.  It is a reminder that I am a strong and capable person, well prepared and well educated, and more than able to deal with anything that comes my way.  Do not allow uncertainty to convince you otherwise.

Sympathy – The Star, The Fool, Vulnerability – These cards are a reminder of a past event that is relevant at this time.  The message here is about how sometimes you just blindly have faith and go after what you want and… even though such times often result in uncertainty and vulnerability… you always end up coming out the other side okay.  Wounds heal… experience lasts forever and teaches you how to deal with things a different and better way the next time.

Luck – The World and Transformation – I have a chance to make lasting changes at this time.  It’s important to not look back, and not backslide.  Keep your eye on the prize and reach for those changes and strive for forward motion.  I’ve spent the lions share of this year working at not just emotional growth, but in finding a better balance between work and life.  Now that I am entering into the time of year that is the most stressful for me, I need to make sure that my focus on preparation doesn’t turn into obsession and edge out the progress I’ve made over the last few months.

Power – Wheel of Fortune, Knight of Pentacles, Joy – Don’t allow the little irritations and upsets steal away my confidence, my progress, or my joy.  Just yesterday I did a reading that spoke on this.   Shit happens.  You need to roll with the punches and keep moving.  Adapt and continue instead of letting hurdles stand in your way and block your path forward.

Responsibility – Eight of Pentacles, Time, Hope – The future opportunity here is about my work and time management. It’s about making sure that I am staying optimistic and using my time wisely to prepare for what’s coming.  I’ve gone through the rush a number of times now. I know what I need to have done ahead of time to make things go more smoothly.

Message from Spirit World – You are capable and strong, knowledgeable and powerful in your own right.  Life is a series of ups and downs, but you have the grounded spirit, the capable hands, and the know-how to take on the world and suss out what you want from it.

Message from Mind’s World – Move forward from the swaddled comfort of the summer and into the new energy of the fall.  This time of harvest for so many is your time of preparation.  Allow your spark to catch fire and lead you forward to where you need to be mentally, physically, and emotionally. Preparation for the holiday season is about more than just the supplies and products that need to be made and stockpiled… because you need to be readied as well.

Message from Known World – Spending some time having a bit of fun might feel like a waste of time, but it’s actually a deeply seated need that you have to attend to in order to continue to grow and get to where you want to be not just in the physical world with your business, but emotionally and spiritually as well.

Take Away – Balance. This is all about balance and making sure that I’m not neglecting the needs of my body, mind, emotions, and spirituality by sacrificing them on the altar of work and commerce. It’s okay to take time for yourself.  It’s okay to have a little fun and allow your mind to slide away from work and the business prep for the holidays for a bit now and then.  It will not be the end of the world if you aren’t focusing every single ounce of your attention and energy on what’s coming in November.

DECKS USED:  THE HILDA TAROT, ROOTS AND WINGS POCKET ORACLE

Side note:   I just noticed for the first time in this post that when I am doing readings for myself, I bounce between first person and second person as if I am both simultaneously reading to myself as myself… and reading to myself as if across the table from myself.

Everyone Is Lovable To Someone

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Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and was relatively uneventful and quiet.  Which is honestly a little surprising because that never seems to happen anymore.  The fire alarm decided to wait until after I’d gotten through my meditation to go off tho, so that was nice at least.

And yes, everything is fine.  It looks like someone was trying to break into the storage room and a buddy of theirs went and pulled the fire alarm to work as a distraction to give them time without interruption.    They didn’t get in so… yeah.

Next World Tarot - Three of CupsToday’s draw is the Three of Cups, which is traditionally interpreted as a “joyous joining” of friends whether in celebration, or collaboration, or just in friendship on its own.

Honestly? I’m not sure how I feel about the pink smiling shark.  I find it really distracting in the imagery of this card, and so I suppose I should consider it as the message.  The fact is, though? It’s just weird.

That said?  I can work with that.   It stands out…. so lets go with the shark.  The shark in this card appears among others and does not show its teeth.  Instead it is a shade of friendly pink and sports a smile.  This actually hearkens back to something I was thinking about in the shower yesterday. I had a client recently that insisted that they were unlovable and would never find a partner.  They were very upset and I refused to do a reading for them on that day. Instead, I told them I had something for them to think about.   I told them that even some of the shittiest people in the world that have people that love them.  Assholes and abusers, haters and closed minded bigots.  These horrible people managed to find someone to love them, so someone like him that isn’t horrible? Has not just as much of a chance of finding someone, but even more of a chance at it.

The shark clearly has friends in this imagery even though it’s a predator swimming among creatures he considers food.  Instead the shark gets along with them, makes friends with them.   So too can those that feel they are unlikable or unlovable find friendships and love.

The message in this card is that no one is unlovable.  No one is unlikable. We just feel that way sometimes.

And can I just say?  Sometimes at the end of the month I’m not ready to move on to different decks and wish for more time with the ones I’ve worked with for the month… but this month?  I’m so ready to move on from this deck and the Tarot of the Sidhe.  I can’t wait for the decks that come up for these pulls starting tomorrow.

DECK USED:  NEXT WORLD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: What’s the next actionable step I can take to move forward down the path of healing?

Tarot of the Dream Enchantress

Reading Summary: Stay strong (Strength) in the face of change (Death)… your foundation might feel precarious but it is sturdy and will be okay (Four of Pentacles).

Take Away:  It’s about perseverance. Sometimes actionable steps are not actions at all, but more about being aware and standing strong.  Change is a part of life and sometimes those changes that happen can feel like the end of the world.  The cards here are a reminder that it isn’t the end of the world.  It isn’t all going to fall apart.  Your foundation and will continue to stay solid and strong. 

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE DREAM ENCHANTRESS

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Write something free form inspired by the cards.

Spark and Pen TarotLate at night in the deep deepest darkest hours before twilight, the green lady with the crown puts down her torch and her book, and pulls on her cape (The Empress). She goes to visit Coney Island to ride the Wonder Wheel and enjoy all that Luna Park has to offer (Wheel of Fortune). Soon, she will have to return to her place watching over the city, and pick up her torch and her book once more for another day (Death).

DECK USED:  SPARK AND PEN TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question: How can I best support and nurture myself and my personal growth at this time?

Hilda Tarot

Reading Summary: Accept that sometimes shit happens (Justice) and you’ll have to make the best of it (Knight of Swords). Take those moments to rest and recuperate (Four of Swords) so that she can be ready for the next challenge (The Magician).

Take Away:  The advice here to help me in nurturing myself and fostering my personal growth is that I need to not let the little unexpected surprises in life trip me up so much.  Hurdles happen and just like tripping over a root on a trail in the woods, you have to pick your ass up and keep going because no one is going to come for you if you sit there and whine about it to the trees.

DECK USED:  HILDA TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How would I feel if I was more mindful right now?

Stunning Tarot

Reading Summary:  Hol-eee-shit.  *Eyes the cards.* Okay so if I was more mindful right now I’d be feeling a good deal more defeated (Ten of Swords) and in need of rest and retreat because the world (Four of Swords) would feel like everything is falling apart (The Tower).

Take Away:  The lesson here is that mindfulness is not always your friend. Sometimes you have to be a bit oblivious and obtuse just to get through the day.

DECK USED:  STUNNING TAROT

Guilt, Blame, and Letting Go

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IMG_5964Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was one of my guided meditations with an interval timer to space out my piriformis stretching.   The topic of today’s guided meditation was about the reflection of one’s behavior back on yourself through interaction with others.  If you approach someone in anger, it makes sense that you will get anger back.  But what people don’t realize is that more subtle effects are also just as possible.

The meditation told the story of a research team wanting to research monkeys, but each time they tried to get close the monkeys repelled them.  Then a researcher went in alone without guns as protection, and the monkeys welcomed him.   The monkeys didn’t know what guns are, but because the team was going in wary and on guard, prepared to commit violence, the monkeys could sense this and wouldn’t let them close.

People are often also like this. They pick up on non verbal cues that tell them someone is tense or irritated, anxious or defensive.  And they then react to those cues without even realizing they’re doing it.   By the same turn, they will also react to positive cues like happiness and warmth.  The meditation today encouraged the latter.

Tarot of the SidheToday’s draw is the Dreamer Three (Three of Swords) which is traditionally about heartache and feelings of loss including (but far from restricted to) grief.

The Fae in this story has no heart.  It is being torn to shreds by the black birds, shared among them as she stands wide open with a hole in her chest, weeping bloody tears.  Trees wilt and falter on the landscape of her skirt as dark clouds come to tangle in her hair.

The thing is, that this looks like it is permanent. It looks never ending.  But the sun behind the figure in this imagery indicates that there is still hope on the horizon and as it rises, it will beat back the dark clouds and overtake the shadows.

Will she ever be the same?  No.   But that can be said for every experience we have in life, not just the bad ones.  Each and every good and bad experience we have changes us. This is how we grow.

I’ve been so disappointed all damned day because my stomach has been a mess.  The cramps are killing me and it’s made me miss out on time with you that I really wanted… and needed.  And was so fucking looking forward to.  I’m sorry my stomach is being a bastard.  I’ve been eating my yogurt and I don’t think I ate anything today that was even close to going bad… I just don’t know what the hell its problem is.

I feel so bad about this, but I know that, like the Fae in this card’s image, we will make it through and continue to grow and thrive.  Together.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SIDHE

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: How can I approach myself with extra kindness and patience during the healing process?

Sacred Rose Tarot

Reading Summary: Pay attention to avoidance strategies (The Devil and Eight of Cups)… and focus on what is been accomplished and what’s good in your life (Nine of Pentacles).

Take Away:  I am so being called out with this reading.  *Chuckles*  Right, so I have a lot of different avoidance strategies to keep myself at a distance from my inner workings when things are feeling raw and I need to heal.  There’s my bad habits, my addictions, my defense mechanisms, multiple different types of distractions, and lets not forget just plain turning my back and willfully ignoring whatever is going on. I am one of those people who was raised to be able to sit and calmly eat or do pretty much anything with quiet calm… all while someone screams and berates you in your ear.  That detachment developed into  yet another mechanism of avoidance.

These cards indicate I need to watch out for these different methods of avoidance, and circumvent them through contemplation and acceptance of the good things in my life and an open acceptance, and even appreciation, of the things I have accomplished.

DECK USED:  SACRED ROSE TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I begin to release self blame from my heart?

Hilda TarotReading Summary: Live with what you’ve done (King of Pentacles). Allow your intuition to have a say in how much of the blame you should be taking in (The High Priestess). Don’t be so generous with others, as they played their part too (Six of Pentacles and Temperance).

Take Away:  I wouldn’t be where I am now without having done all those I’ve done along the way.  Some of those things aren’t things I’m proud of, but they need to be viewed with acceptance instead of consternation at this point, as they are in the past now and no longer need to be a burden upon my shoulders.

My instinctual… or perhaps habitual would be a better term… response to discord and conflict is to take the burden of wrongdoing upon myself.  More often than not?  I take far too much of that burden, and I need to learn how to judge more fairly just how much of it I should owl.  The High Priestess indicates I should be looking internally for that answer. I need to make sure it is I that chooses just how much of the burden I take on, and not anyone else.

When I blame myself for things that should be put upon other’s shoulders, I am being generous with them by taking so much of the burden on myself.  Instead, I need to practice a little more balance and moderation, because they deserve to shoulder their share.

DECK USED:  HILDA TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question:  Air, I seek your wisdom. What teachings do you offer me?

Gypsy Palace Tarot

Reading Summary: Allow your heart to take the lead now and then (King of Cups) in work matters (Eight of Pentacles) and you will find yourself moving into another level of growth (Ten of Swords).

Take Away:  This is about enjoying my work instead of just working for work’s sake. The fact is that I know from personal experience that work does not feel like work if you’re doing it right, and in the right frame of mind.  It feels like a challenge, or like fun, or like a creative burst, or just like the pleasure of creation and joy of sharing with others.  This pleasure is something that I lost for a while in my work due to pushing myself too hard and the resulting repetitive burnouts that ensued. I am working on reclaiming that joy in my work again, and the guidance here is encouragement to continue upon that path.

DECK USED:  GYPSY PALACE TAROT

Pulling Out the Blade

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Today’s meditation was eight minutes long, and was mostly just my lying there trying to stay still and fidgeting because I had so much to get done and couldn’t manage to ignore the fact long enough to settle and do some pranayama and stretching in peace.

Next World Tarot - Three of SwordsToday’s draw is the Three of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of heartache, hurt, grief, and emotional pain.

The Swords suit is about the mind, and this is especially evident in this particular card, because the Three of Swords is about the head, not the heart…. or rather, it’s about how the head can affect the heart and tear it apart if given the free reign to do so.

What stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is the shark.  The shark is actually the hilt of one of the swords, and as mentioned, the Swords represent the mind.  I see that shark hilted sword as the most vicious of them all, and it makes me think of that inner voice that we all have that likes to rip us up inside.  That inner critic we try to hide from others… even while it whispers incessantly in our ear.

The heart in this imagery is in such very bad condition, and the imagery speaks a truth that is sometimes hard to accept. You can’t heal the damage until you pull out the blade.  This is why it’s important to work at quieting that inner critic and fostering optimism and hope… these are things that help heal those wounds and provide the strength needed to pull out those blades stuck in one’s wounded heart.

DECK USED:  NEXT WORLD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: How does wishing I’d never experienced the trauma hinder me from healing it?

Spark and Pen Tarot

Reading Summary: You cannot learn from (Page of Wands) and fully lay claim your present (King of Wands and King of Pentacles) without accepting your past (Six of Pentacles).

Take Away:  When you are generous with yourself, giving yourself room and time and a depth of understanding, you are then giving yourself space to learn how to process and move past your trauma.  That then allows you to stand stronger than you were before, and move forward with more confidence than you would manage to obtain by avoiding the healing and just wishing the trauma away.

DECK USED:  SPARK AND PEN TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Does luck (good or bad) actually exist?

Hilda TarotReading Summary: Sometimes enthusiasm can lead you to making reckless choices (Ace of Wands) and putting yourself in danger by doing stupid shit (The Devil), and yet you still come out the other side just fine, a little older and wiser (Queen of Cups) and yet otherwise unscathed.

Take Away:  I’m not entirely sure of my own personal opinion on this question, but the story told here in these cards clearly indicates that yes, luck does exist.

Sometimes?  Anticipated consequences just don’t happen, even when all logic and common sense dictates that they should. I would consider that luck… wouldn’t you?

DECK USED:  HILDA TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question: Something I can take pride in about myself is…

Luminous Void Tarot

Reading Summary: I am very good at balancing my need for stability and structure (Queen of Discs) with my spirituality (The High Priestess) and intuitive gifts (Strength).

Take Away:  I’ve never really thought of this as something to take pride in?  That’s not to say that the quality isn’t a good thing.  I’m very happy with the fact that I’m able to have this balance and be comfortable in my beliefs and abilities (with the exception of occasional growth spurts that take me by surprise).  But… pride?  Then again, I guess maybe I do have a sort of quiet  fissure of pride in this beneath the surface.

DECK USED:  LUMINOUS VOID TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I safely share more of my gifts with the world?

Monstarot

Reading Summary: Don’t (Nine of Wands). The better, if not necessarily easier, choice (Two of Swords) is to develop them at your own pace (Page of Cups).  You can then apply them to your life and your goals (Ten of Pentacles).

Take Away:  Whenever the topic comes up about sharing my creativity, I always end up getting warning cards and roadblock cards.  And, here they are again.  “How can I safely share more?”… answer “NO!”  Right?

Ooph.

The cards indicate that it’s important to keep my creative projects and ideas close to my chest.  Sometimes this can be really difficult.  When you have an idea that’s super awesome and you want to shout it from the rooftops, it can be really difficult not to share.  That is where the Two of Swords comes in, because the struggle involved in keeping things to yourself is really difficult sometimes.

In this reading, it makes it clear, though, that keeping things to myself while I learn and develop my skills is very important.  Then, in that time when I am ready to apply these creative pursuits to my life and my goals… that is the time to share them.

DECK USED:  MONSTAROT