halloween tarot

Value and Balance

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was just over twelve minutes long, and was a continuation on the theme of managing stress.

Today, the guided meditation explored how a moment focusing upon your breathing, and on a careful body scan from head to foot where you train your attention on relaxing each body part individually one at a time, can assist in easing the physiological response to stress and anxiety.

That is to say that stress and anxiety cause physiological responses.  Your blood pressure goes up, your breathing shortens and shallows, your heart beats faster, your brain feeds your body a trickle of adrenaline, etc. These physical responses can be managed by taking a moment to do some deep breathing and focus upon the moment and relaxing your body.

Halloween Tarot Today’s draw is the Knight of Ghosts (Cups) which is a representation of an active beta energy, personality, or person in the area of the heart, emotions, relationships, and intuition.

What I saw when I pulled this card is a message about value.   Specifically, that those who manipulate others through use of emotion also have their value.  Maybe they are entertaining, or maybe they help in distracting those that would be in your own path without realizing that’s what they’re doing.

But the fact is.  Everyone has value.  Even those who follow a different code of ethics and a different moral compass than your own.  Sometimes it’s easy to look down on these people, but it’s important to remember that they, too, have a place in our lives, and in live in general.

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.

Question: How can I better balance personal time with the time I spend with others?

Carnival at the End of the World Tarot Reading Summary:  I need to inspire a time of reckoning and self examination concerning what’s important to me and what isn’t (Judgement).  Doing this will inspire me to better preserve those things most important to me (Seven of Wands), and let go of the rest in order to create space for what’s important to me to grow.

In other words, I need to do some trimming and weeding.

Take Away: I’m focusing on too many different things, and spreading myself too thin.  Sort of like trimming a tree in order to allow it to sprout new growth and produce a healthier dispersion, some serious evaluation of what I value is needed in order to par down the sheer amount of crap on my plate and create space in my life for what I need to be in it to dig deeper roots and flourish.

Deck Used: The Carnival at the End of the World Tarot

 

Courage and Encouragement

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was just over twelve minutes long, and focused on how you react to stress.  It was an introductory guided meditation that I’ve started which will run over the next seven days.   The focus of this series of meditations is “Managing Stress”.

Halloween Tarot Today’s draw is the Ace of Bats with the Ten of Ghosts as a jumper.

The Ace of Bats (Swords) is traditionally a card of new inspiration and seeds of beginning in the area of intellect, ideas, thoughts, and communication.  This includes themes concerning breakthroughs, mental clarity, and potential.

The Ten of Ghosts (Cups) is traditionally a card dealing with endings and completion, a cycle reaching its end to begin again, renewals, and regeneration in the area of the emotions, relationships, and intuition.  This card is often known as the “happy family card” and commonly includes themes that have to do with blissful situations, harmony, and alignment with others.

When I saw today’s cards, there was a bit of an easing in my chest, but it wasn’t until I sat down and thought about what  I saw in them that I understand what this is about.   It’s about finding completion… and about that new idea that I’ve been working on lately.  The one that the cards encouraged me to keep silent on and that I have slowly been working on over the past month or two.

I’m very happy with the progress I made over the past couple of days, and what I am finding in these cards is reassurance that I’m on the right path.

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.

Question: What is the root of my courage?

Reading Summary: The past experiences I have gone through (Six of Cups) have been a struggle that may at times steal my tranquility and require adaptation (Seven of Swords with Temperance), but in the end, these experiences are what allow me to grow and become stronger (Queen of Cups).

Take Away: Between the ex… and the ex’s friend.  The aspiring kidnapper of a stalker.  The car crashes and medical issues.   With each of these experiences, something within me breaks.  I am wounded by them.  Not just physically, but emotionally as well.    These experiences steal something from me, a little piece of me removed as if sliced away and spirited into the ether. 

And yet, it’s true what they say.  What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.  I am stronger for all these things.  I am stronger for surviving and choosing not just to survive, but to thrive.  These experience have created deep roots and a solid foundation on which to sit upon my throne.   Is there still more to learn?   Always.   But I am not fumbling in the dark as I may have been without each experience I have come through along the way.

And there you have it.  The root of my courage comes from the experiences I have lived through, and grown from.

Deck Used: Luis Royo’s Labyrinth Tarot

Loosen Up

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and I had a very difficult time focusing.  I can’t even really remember what she was talking about in this one, because my mind kept flitting off in different directions and needing to be pulled back in again.   I did stay through the entire ten minutes, though, and repeatedly brought my attention back to the now and my breath each time I caught my mind wandering off in one direction or another.

Halloween Tarot Today’s draw is the Six of Ghosts (Cups) which is a representation of harmony, vitality, and nostalgia in the area of the emotions, intuition, and relationships.

When I saw this card today, my intuition did not see nostalgia, which seems to be the most common interpretation of this card.   Instead, what I see is fun and harmony.

Today’s card is a reminder that things don’t have to be so serious all the time. It’s okay to lighten up and have some fun now and then.

This is something that I often forget.  I get so wrapped up in my goals and responsibilities, that I forget to step back and have a laugh and a lark.

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.  I’ve surprisingly managed to keep this challenge going for twelve days now.

Question: Where may I need to release some control?

Deviant Moon Tarot Reading Summary: When you reach a dead end on an idea (Ten of Swords), sometimes you have to start fresh with a new perspective (The Fool), and work at making better choices the second time around (Two of Wands).

Take Away: When I run across an idea that I’ve reached a dead end on, the releasing of control referenced in the question for the reading has to do with letting go of the tight grip I have on that idea, regrouping with a new perspective, and then trying again from a place of discovery.    This is a process that is very difficult for me.  I hate letting go of ideas I get invested in, but like the an untenable position of the fellow in the box of knives on the first card, sometimes its the only way to progress.

Deck Used: Deviant Moon Tarot (Borderless Edition)

 

Get Motivated

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes, and focused on World Mental Health Day (which is today) and how to be kinder to ourselves, especially when you have mental health problems.

It discussed why people try to hide their mental health illness because of the concern for being rejected by others and be shamed for this weakness.  It addressed seeking acceptance in ourselves for the issues that we have to deal with, in the same way you find acceptance for when you have a cold, or diabetes, or any other medical issue.

The guided meditation encouraged the listener to challenge their self judgements and find a path to a better acceptance of the self and your own personal struggles.

This is something that I had to struggle with early in life.  In fact, I had undiagnosed depression as far back as my early teens or perhaps even earlier than that.  When Z realized what was going on, she advocated with me to my parents, pushing them to allow me to seek treatment, but it wasn’t until I was emancipated at the age of sixteen that I had the freedom to do so for myself.   In my family, mental illness was treated as something to be ashamed of.  A fatal flaw even worse than being gay (which was my father’s main issue with me from childhood on in life).

By accepting that I needed help and going to GET that help, it was clearly understood that I was not just casting shame upon myself, but upon my family as a whole.  Obviously, this is NOT something that bothered me as much as it might have, because I was so far down that rabbit hole with my sexual preferences and independence by that point that what was one more log on the fire, right?   Still, the shame -did- ride me for quite a long time.  Especially the shame of needing medication.

It wasn’t until I found a medication that took away my suicidal thoughts and urges that this shame began to lift.  Because… how can you argue with that benefit, right?  Now, when I see judgement, I advocate.  And I hope that others will learn, as I did, that it’s okay to need a little help.

Halloween Tarot Today’s draw is another double without a jumper, which means that they both came out of the deck together.  The cards in today’s draw are the Emperor card of the Major Arcana, and the King of Bats (Swords).

I know what it’s saying, and I’m just SO resistant to it today.   Silly, I know.  But there you have it.

The message in today’s cards is to “Be the Boss”.   In other words, do your work, do the responsible thing, take charge and get your shit done.   I know it’s supposed to be an energizing and empowering message, but all I really feel like doing today is loafing off.

Unfortunately, that is a luxury for another day if i want to ship out orders tomorrow (which I very much do need and want to do that).

Traditional meanings for the Emperor include dominance and authority, structure, and a projective alpha energy that is instilled into the “big picture”, rather than into one specific aspect of the human experience.

Traditional representation for the King of Bats (Swords) are on the theme of a projective alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of the mind, thought, intellect, communication, and instinct.  This includes themes surrounding mental clarity and intellectual power, as well as (you guessed it) dominance and authority.

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt again today.  I’m definitely going to try to do the bonus readings every day (or near to it) for the rest of this month.

Question: How can I more fully love and accept myself?

Tarot of Haunted House Reading Summary: Set the spark (Ace of Wands) and carry that spark forward (Knight of Wands) into the things that interest and challenge you (King of Swords).  Sometimes it’s okay to need to be alone (intuitive hit off the imagery in the Three of Cups).

Take Away: If I want to more fully love and accept myself, I need to not just respect and take note of those inner sparks of ambition and inspiration, but go after them.  And not just the easy ones, but the ones that really make me work for that sense of accomplishment. Most of the time, these types of projects, aspirations, and ideas require buckling down and focus, which is not something I can do in the company of others.  Alone time is valuable in these pursuits, IF I use it productively.

TL:DR?  Stop using alone time to loaf off, and instead use that time to get to work on the things that spark my ambition and challenge my intellect.

Deck Used: Tarot of Haunted House

Sometimes You Have to Just Take a Breath

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and focused on being persistent in your meditation practice, because it is the journey  that makes the practice good (and good for you), not the destination.

That is to say that there is no ‘end goal’ to meditation.   It is, by definition, a practice.  Something you practice.  There are no experts, there is no perfection.

Each day is a new day and another step on the path.  If you make the time to do it… if you sit down and do it, then that’s all that is needed to succeed in the day’s meditation.  It’s not an activity of rating your performance, but instead an activity where you get an “A” for participation… end of story.

Nine of Pumpkins Today’s draw is the Nine of Pumpkins (Pentacles) which is a representation of fruition and fulfillment, culmination and consequences in the area of finances, resources, manifestation, and the physical world.

This is an abundance card, absolutely.  But honestly?  I’ve not been feeling all that abundant today.   I’ve felt stressed and irked and a bit overwhelmed by the bullshit that I talked to you about in chat just briefly earlier concerning that whole seller harassment issue.

So yeah.

The message, though, is in the resting of the woman’s hand upon the pumpkin.  I really wanted to spend some time in nature today, but travel and specifically traffic just really didn’t allow for the extra time needed to do that.

So maybe what the card is trying to tell me is that everything is going to be alright, yeah?  Because I sure as hell don’t feel like things are falling together, or particularly abundant.    Honestly?  I’ve waffled between feeling sickly and feeling irked for most of the day, and at the moment I feel like crying like a two year old and hiding my head under a pillow.

UGH… damnit!   Right.

Positive message in the Nine of Pumpkins.  *Taking a deep breath.*

The positive message in today’s draw is that even when feeling overwhelmed and out of sorts, there are always things to be grateful for.   So perhaps what I need is to do a bit of gratitude practice.

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt again today.  As mentioned before, I might try to do the bonus reading every day (or near to it) for this month.

Question: Where may I benefit from more structure?

Bonus Tarot ReadingReading Summary: Fumbling in the dark (The Moon) with concerns to emotional stability (Four of Cups).  Collaborating with others (Three of Pentacles). Arriving at the end of the line concerning thought and ambition (King of Wands and King of Swords).

Take Away:   I’m a bit topsy-turvy today when it comes to my emotions, so I’m not surprised that the Moon came up in relation to emotional stability.  With the shift we just did between top space and bottom, this shift and that sensation of being lost in the dark is something that comes with the territory.

With the Kings on the right, I feel it’s speaking of being at the end of a journey and needing to move on to the next steps.  Ambition and ideas are all well and good, but they can only go so far until you move into manifestation.

Between these two concepts is the collaboration card, the Three of Pentacles.   This indicates to me that both situations require collaboration in order to find that stability and structure needed to move forward, both emotionally, as well as with ideas and ambitions that have been brewing for a while in the back of my mind.

Deck Used: Anne Stoke’s Gothic Tarot

Uncertainties in Self

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was just under ten minutes long, and was a quiet and peaceful meditation where she didn’t do a lot of talking.   I enjoy these primarily because I really like the background music playing in the app.  In fact, I think I’ve mentioned before that I would love the opportunity to buy the music.

Essentially, the music is individual notes played lightly (and slowly) on a keyboard to some very subtle, barely audible EMDR-type musical flow in the background.  It’s very relaxing, and my mind seems to visualize it into an open plane of water (the background noise) with occasional drips falling into the smooth expanse to cause ripples (the piano notes).

I might need to contact the app creator and see if they can provide me with some information that might help me track down the artist.  It’s worth a try.

Anyway, the talk at the end of the guided meditation focused primarily on using meditation to better condition ourselves to be present in the moment, rather than spending too much time reflecting on the past or focused on the “what ifs” of the future.

Today’s draw is the Strength card, which I seem to be seeing a lot lately in my readings.  The Strength card’s traditional representations involve inner strength, outer strength, courage, persuasion and coercion.  It can also indicate raw emotion, self doubt, and a lack of energy.

I feel that it is in those alternate meanings that I find the message of today’s card.   The Strength card is telling me that it’s okay to be tired and take a rest now and then.  It doesn’t make you weak to take care of yourself and, sometimes, that means allowing for that time of rest and time to deal with the hint of rawness that is going on with me right now.

I think that it also correlates to the drop and helping you through it.  I love you so much, and I don’t want to let you down.  I really hope that I’m not letting you down. (Points to the self doubt aspect.)

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

I did the #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt again today.  As mentioned before, I might try to do the bonus reading every day (or near to it) for this month.

Question: How can I better honor the divine feminine within me? (Note: The word honor is stressed to make sure I keep in mind the nature of the question through the reading of the cards and answers written here.)

Reading Summary: The Hermit card speaks of time alone and working on things on my own.  The Ace of Pentacles is a touch on manifestation and ‘new money’ and the Queen of Pentacles, juggling home life and work as well as giving myself time to self-nurture (which again ties around into the Hermit card).

Take Away:   Focus on my home business. My business is all about manifestation and creativity.  It involves a LOT of working on my own and I do a good deal of reflection during that time.  I find the creative process of manifesting ideas into a beautiful creation in reality to be soothing and invigorating, all at the same time.   The cards indicate if I want to honor my divine feminine side, this is the path to doing that.

Deck Used: Ludy Lescot Tarot