Full Moon in Cancer – December 2020

Tomorrow is the last full moon of the year, and like all new moons and full moons, I did a spread aligned to the moon’s current themes as a part of my recognition of the moon’s cycle and influences upon us.  Today’s spread is brought to you by Ethony‘s Tarot By the Moon series.

Full Moon in Cancer Tarot Reading - Naked Heart Tarot

1. What spiritual lesson was I learning this year?

Nine of Pentacles – How to be grateful for what I have instead of constantly striving for more.  This was actually a side product lesson that came from my efforts to allow my emotional growth room to do its thing throughout the majority of the first part of the year.  What I have come to realize is that it actually -is- possible for me to “wallow a bit” in my good fortune and the results of my hard work.  That it’s okay to enjoy the now instead of constantly pushing for what’s next.  It’s not always easy, but the more that I’ve been able to look at things from this angle, the more I realize that a good portion of that slave driver in my head has nothing to do with a desperate grasping need for security as it has to do with my father’s voice in my head drilling home that nothing will ever be “enough” and thus I must try harder.

2. How can I integrate it into 2021?

Nine of Swords Rx – By focusing on worrying less and stressing out less about the things that “need to be done”. The only deadlines in life are the ones that you are setting for yourself.  I used this same line a couple of days ago in a reading and it fits very well here as well.  No one else is setting deadlines on me, not for my goals or for the things I want to happen.  The only one setting deadlines and demands on myself… is me.  I need to take ownership of this and understand that I’m doing this to myself… and that I have all of the control needed to change things to be less stressful.

3. What do I need to let go of now?

Two of Wands Rx – Indirection. You don’t need to control every step, but you don’t need to feel like when you’re not controlling every step that things are going awry either. Last year after the holiday rush, I went through a few months of feeling completely rudderless and adrift.  Lost.  I need to let go of the idea that this is going to happen again, and instead make moves to make sure that it doesn’t.  This isn’t about filling my plate with things to do or about leaving room on my plate either, but rather it’s about dealing with the emotions and decompression that needs to be cared for instead of fighting against it.

4. What spiritual lesson will I be moving into in 2021?

Knight of Chalices – The spiritual lesson in the year ahead will involve learning how to better seek out those things that I really enjoy and make me happy instead of just focusing upon the things that I need to get done. This goes beyond making things more fun or my life happier, but rather by making things more fun and my life happier I will be able to elevate my energy and my spiritual self into a better place.

5. What can I do now to set myself up for success?

Six of Wands Rx – Look inward for encouragement and accolades instead of thinking about what others (namely those voices of your parents in your head) would think or feel. Again we are back at that inner narrative and the negativity of my parental influences on how I treat myself within that narrative.  This and other readings I’ve done over the past week or two are making it clear that finding a way to circumvent or “put in its place” that inner narrative is going to be a strong and prevailing theme throughout the next year, and that needs to start now.


Don’t Stop Yet

IMG_8210Today’s meditation was just under thirteen minutes long and was another of the guided meditations from the Calm app accompanied by an interval timer for my piriformis stretching. 

The topic of today’s meditation was about choosing your battles.

The thing is, everyone has those times when something sticks “under their craw” and they jump forward into an argument either in defense of something they believe in, or maybe just because they don’t like how something was said or who said it.  But if we spend our lives in that space where we’re always ready to jump on every little thing, it diminishes the joy we feel in the day to day.

This is where it’s important to choose your battles wisely.  Not just because you want to win or be in the right, but also because you don’t want strife and conflict to overtake the joys in your life.

Green Witch Tarot - The Battle WagonToday’s draw is the Chariot (which in this deck is known as The Battle Wagon), which is traditionally a representation of willpower leaning into action.  It is about motivation, progress, and success through determination.

The horses really stood out to me in this card today, but I think it’s more because they’re pretty than anything, because the message that came through when the card first hit the table was, “No rest for you today. Get back on the wagon.”

This is fitting, and was actually really good advice. I had a really nice and relaxing Friday with Gideon and I really didn’t feel like going back to work for these last three days of the holiday rush.  And yet… if I had not taken that advice from the Battle Wagon card this morning?  I’d be up until three or four in the morning tonight trying to finish the work that landed in my lap today.

Because I did listen?  I get to actually get some sleep tonight. That’s a win in my book.


LionHart’s 20/21 Tarot Challenge Prompt
: In what way can I use 2020 as an inspiration for 2021?

Inkromancy Tarot

Reading Summary: Continue with the changes that were started in 2020 (Death). Keep your eye on the prize even though the progress is slow going (Knight of Pentacles), and don’t judge yourself harshly for the extra time it takes (Judgement).

Take Away:  I need to remember that I’m not on a deadline where it comes to the emotional growth I’m working through and the changes I’m working on making concerning my work balance and personal care priorities.  This isn’t a race and there’s no finish line, which means it takes as long as it takes and there’s no such thing as “lagging behind”.  I’m so used to pushing myself so hard on every project and endeavor that I sometimes forget that this isn’t like making it through a holiday rush or working on a project with a deadline in mind. Stop worrying so much about how long it’s taking… or how long it takes… or whatever speed I am moving along that path.


#DiscordTarotolicsDec2020 Challenge Prompt
: Where do I find the most joy in life?

Bonestone & Earthflesh TarotLook at that Empress and Sun card.  Talk about artwork flow in a reading!

I find the most joy in life in my connection with the earth and celebrating that connection through enjoying time in the presence of the earth and her generosity.  When I connect with the earth through my time in the outdoors, I am given energy and an inner healing that I can’t find anywhere else, which is not just healing but also uplifting.

There is also an outlier here in the Ten of Wands which is an indication of a sort of self destructive joy I find in being busy.  This particular joy has to do with feeling like I’m accomplishing things… even if in doing so it grinds me into the ground.


Take Your Medicine

IMG_3317Today’s meditation was just over fifteen minutes long and focused upon living in the present moment.  The past is gone to the unsubstantiality of memory, and the future has yet to become…. so the point of the meditation’s focus was that the present moment is all that we really have that is solid and real and that we can hold onto.

It is a reminder to stay present and not get carried away by what was or what could be, but to enjoy what you have in the now.    Honestly?  This was a good reminder for me, and I think would be a good reminder for a lot of people during this time.

How many have felt over worked to the point they dreamed of having some time off?  How many have felt so overwhelmed by social obligations that they just want to spend some time at home chilling and alone?  And yet, here it is.  Here we all have that chance and so many feel they can’t handle it and fuss and fight under the restrictions of some self-isolation.    Maybe this is an opportunity to relax and recover and restore ourselves that we will regret not taking once life is returning to the hectic juggling of responsibilities we’ll all eventually have to return to.

Queen of Wands - Hush TarotToday’s draw is the Queen of Wands (honestly? The wands in this deck remind me far more of spears than wands) which is a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s passions, drive, ambitions, and (in my case) creative spark. This often translates into themes that have to do with courage, ownership of one’s passions, confidence, and determination in the areas of the wand suit, including fostering the growth of those themes in others.

What stands out to me in this card today, though, is a variety of aspects including the submerged bird being held beneath the water by the woman that sits on it, and the little star being lowered into the bird’s mouth.  This speaks to me of that whole “I hurt you because I love you” mentality.  You know, like forcing a child to take their meds even if they fight and scream about it.

Today’s message is about doing my self care even when I’m not enthused about it.  I need to take care of myself as I would someone else that I love, and that means “taking my medicine” even when I don’t want to.  My efforts for self-care are a type of medicine and I need to make it happen even when I feel unmotivated towards doing those things.  Every time I am in the moment of doing them or have finished one of them, I’m always pleasantly surprised that I liked it more than I thought I would or that it was far easier than I thought it would be.  My mind blows up what needs done until it’s some huge task when really, they aren’t that huge at all… they’re just blown out of proportion.   So stop avoiding.  Stop procrastinating.  It’s time to start doing my self-care tasks whether I’m up for it or not.


#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
: What shadows are being illuminated at this time?

Tarot of the Golden Wheel

Intuitive Read:  Just how much I need myself some alone time.

Take Away:  So much time with others has made it clear just how much I need alone time now and then. Fortunately I am getting some in the morning when I’m going to the farm to work, and my work at the farm itself is also quite solitary most of the time.  It’s not the amount of alone time that I’m used to, but it definitely helps.   L and Z are also being very respectful of my need for time to do my yoga/physio and meditation and give me space for those moments as well.   That said?  All the social contact is a bit exhausting and I’m longing for that more extensive alone time I’m accustomed to.


#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
: Do Spread #2
What voice do I need to bring forward within myself to combat my self abuse?

Whispering Spirits Tarot

Reading Summary:  The butterfly in the first two cards speaks about gentle change and the synchronicity of colors and grass in contrast to the first card speaks of a transition from the theme of the first card through the second card and into the third card.

Take Away:  It’s time to move away from feeling all tense and defensive and wildly protective of those things I’ve worked so hard for but cannot actually control the outcome of right now.   Lean into my inner strengths as well and use them to prepare for what’s to come rather than trying to hold onto control that has already slipped from my grasp.   This isn’t an abrupt change but more of a gentle transition that involves shifting how I see things and think about them. 


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
: Can you trust not to look at the “little white book”?

Green Witch Tarot

Reading Summary: During times of stress and anxiety (Nine of Athames), this is when the temptation to look at books is most strong.  But,  I am more likely to depend on my foundational education (Queen of Athames) and trust in my own capabilities (The World Tree) over the temptation of looking in a book (The Sidhe).

Take Away:  I already knew the answer to this but decided to see what the cards had to say anyway.  The response from the cards is spot on.  I don’t really use the little white books anymore.  Sometimes I will read them  when a deck first comes into my collection just to see if there is a different perspective, neat stories, or artist’s input to consider.   But when it comes to actually interpreting what the cards have to say in a reading, my first go-to is intuitive interpretation off imagery, and my second is my foundational knowledge about the cards and their meanings.

That said?  I do have a hard time coming up with words now and then… and in those times an online thesaurus is usually my friend, because if I can find a word close in meaning to the word I want, a thesaurus can then get me there when my mind is drawing a blank or the word is on the “tip of my tongue” but refuses to fully surface from my brain.



Untying Inner Knots

IMG_3218Today’s meditation was just over sixteen minutes long and focused upon the Adrian Corday post that is included here in this blog post.   I found that quote on Instagram, and it really struck home.

I felt that it was important to take some time to count my blessings and really focus in on what I have that is good in my life right now.   What’s good in my life includes that my sister and I are safe and that Z is here and safe as well.   No, none of us can know if we’re infected or not since it can take up to 14 days to show symptoms after infection… but we’re safe and we’re good and after a tip given to me by a friend on YouTube in the morning today?  We even have food.

That last one takes a lot of weight off my shoulders.  I’m not good at inactivity, but that’s okay too.  I have plenty to keep me busy.

All of that was my focus in my meditation today.  Well, that and a full body scan, of course… just because I like those.

Nine of Pentacles - Hush TarotToday’s draw is the Nine of Pentacles which is often traditionally interpreted as independence, abundance, and the “lap of luxury”.

I actually do see independence here.  It’s sort of interesting, because I haven’t had a lot of cards come up in either this deck or the other one I’m using this month for daily pulls that has had an intuitive interpretation that aligns with traditional meanings.

That said?  That is where the similarity ends.  As although I see independence in this card, I also see… need.  She’s gaunt and her cheeks are hollow, her expression appearing to me today as holding the ache of longing.   What I see here is that her independence has caused this predicament… and thus the message that I see in today’s card is that independence is only as good as what it gives you when you have it.

If independence causes a sense of seclusion and loneliness?  Then perhaps it’s time to ease up a bit and allow others in.    For me, this translates into a reminder to enjoy this time together with L and Z.   I’m not used to such constant contact with others and it can be a bit straining for me, but at the same time?  It’s an opportunity to appreciate just how much they mean to me… and just how much they love me.


#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
: How can I better express gratitude for my current opportunities?

Green Witch Tarot

Reading Summary:  By taking advantage of this time of opportunity and closeness with those around me and enjoying them to the fullest.

Take Away:  The forced seclusion with L and Z is providing me with an opportunity to delve into a deeper relationship with both of them (Ace of Cups) and I need to sit back and allow their love in and share mine in turn with them (King of Cups).  By taking this time to enjoy their presence rather than chafing under it (Three of Cups) I will find myself developing a deeper abundance and wealth that goes far beyond that of coin (Ten of Pentacles).


#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
: Do Spread #3

Celtic Dragon TarotWhat do I need to let go of to…

Ease My Mind:  It’s okay to slack off a bit… especially during this time.  Try not to allow yourself to get so wrapped up in the process of “getting things done” that you lose the joy of being able to relax for a bit.  You have enough to worry about and enough going on. You don’t need to add burnout into the mix.

Lighten My Heart:  My incessant need to always be moving forward.  There are things I can do to prepare for later, but there’s no real moving forward right now.  I need to find a way to ease that need and let it relax.  I can’t be in control of everything right now, no matter how much I want to be or how much my inner self demands it.

Free My Creative Spark:  It’s time to let go of the intensive juggling I do between all the different aspects of my life.  All those balls I usually keep aloft have crashed to the ground.  Stop straining and pushing at myself so hard to juggle responsibilities that don’t even exist at the moment.  This has to do not so much with the fact I’m still juggling them, but that there is an inner straining push within me to do the juggling regardless of the fact there’s no balls there to juggle right now.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
: What do I need to know about my intuitive abilities?

Animal Totem Tarot

Reading Summary:  I have a habit of disconnecting and stepping back (High Priestess) from my innate abilities (Page of Wands) when  I become tense (Nine of Pentacles) and/or overwhelmed (Ten of Swords).

Take Away:  So when I become overwhelmed or tense, I have a habit of setting up barriers that cause me to lose sight of where I want to go and step back into a retreat.  This causes a muffling wall between myself and the messages of my intuition, making it harder for me to pick up those messages I would otherwise easily hear and obey without question.  Because of this I can often end up stunting growth and ending up having to “start over”, losing a portion of the progress I’ve made in the process.