Forest creatures tarot

The Sweet Spot

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was… Hell.  I know I did it.  I just can’t remember it?  This is the folly of doing a post a day late.   Not that it’s happened before, but I knew it was about to happen eventually.

Temperance - Spacious TarotToday’s draw is the Temperance card from the major arcana, and I just have to say?  I really love this depiction.  I think it really expresses for me what temperance is all about.  It’s that middle road between two extremes.

This feels like a reminder about the whole “slow and steady” plan, which has been something that’s difficult to keep in mind.  Especially today when I’ve been working hard to get my ass through a sudden rush of orders.

I think that it’s a good idea that I’m leaving work at home on this trip, and for once I’m not really feeling all that bad about it.   I think that might have to do more than burnout than with having found some sort of balance, but either way…. I’ll take it.

DECK USED:  SPACIOUS TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: What good thing have I already manifested this year?

Ember + Aura Tarot

Reading Summary:  Taking charge (The Emperor).  New emotions (Ace of Cups) directed by a centered balance of energy (Diviner of Wands).  Temptations (The Devil) and new emotional growth (Daughter of Cups).

Take Away:  This is something I’ve mentioned in a previous reading earlier this week, but it refers to finding a certain amount of balance and control of my addictions and their more destructive influences through examination of what these effects are and how to mitigate them.  What else is showing in this reading, though, is how my emotions, and especially that new depth of emotion I’ve begun to grow into over the past six months, also factors in and influences my temptations and behaviors.

In other words, the good thing that has manifested this year is the fact that I can see these connections clearly, and I am not just aware of them but taking steps to control them rather than allowing them to control me.

I also see a clear correlation between the safe in the Emperor card, the Ace of Cups card, and the Devil card.  This speaks to me about the danger of closing myself off to these new emotions and the negative results that can manifest.

The combination and color coordination between the Diviner of Wands and the Daughter of Cups also brings up the fact that with this new “leveling up” and new development of emotions, I need to allow myself to stay open wide to sharing this experience, even as I focus on staying balanced.

DECK USED:  EMBER + AURA TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is a very positive thing in your life you are overlooking?

Forest Creatures Tarot

Reading Summary:  Look at all those coins.   My work (Three of Coins) has provided me with security (Queen of Coins) and a safe and steady outlet for my passions (King of Wands) while providing me with what I need to have a stable home (Four of Coins).

Take Away:  This is something that, in my emotional upheaval over the past couple of months, I’ve lost sight of for a bit.  I’ve lost a good deal of my passion and “spark” for creation through the fear and stress that has been overwhelming me.   It’s caused me to over look the parts about running my own business that I love the most.   That is, the fact that I have  the ability to control my own destiny and create my own sense of stability within my life while allowing my creative spark free reign.

DECK USED:  FOREST CREATURES TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: How can I hold myself accountable In relation to asking for help?

Bohemian Animal Tarot

Reading Summary:  The first two cards here are the same cards used on Saturday to represent that foggy-mind situation that I have been stuck in lately. The Rook and The Warrior indicate that I need to remember what I have to lose and depend upon my strength to push forward toward resources for healing rather than the weakness of burying it.

Take Away:  The thing about that box and burying negative emotions and worries?  It feels like strength.  It really does feel like by doing so I am bolstering my strength and the walls are sold.  But that is a lie.   It’s a lie because when you try to build -anything- on that foundation, over time the foundation begins to fester and rot… and then everything is at risk of collapsing and landing you worse off than you were before, all because you didn’t deal with it properly the first time around.

DECK USED:  BOHEMIAN ANIMAL TAROT

Double, Double Toil and Trouble

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and was a guided meditation that focused on how it’s okay to be kind to yourself about missing meditation practice now and then… and how it is important to not look at your meditation practice as some kind of chore or task.

When it is looked at as a chore or task, then it becomes something you “have” to do, and something you can then more easily resent or get burned out on.  If we instead seek to see meditation as a moment of kindness to ourselves and a “break” from the world at large, then meditation becomes a reprieve and a retreat… something that we feel eager to experience each day.

I needed this advice, and I like the idea of looking at my meditation practice as a retreat and a reprieve from the everyday.

Efflorescent Tarot (Color Edition)Today’s draw is a double without a jumper, which means that both cards jumped out of the deck together as one.  The cards in today’s draw are the Nine of Swords and the Three of Swords.   Both of these cards themes deal with agonizing over different aspects, and it is that theme that I feel is the message in today’s draw.

The appearance of these cards in today’s draw is a message about being too much in my head and allowing that to take over.  The whole water issue in my building has really got me stressed out and I’m trying to stay calm about it, but especially after the collapse yesterday and the kid getting caught under the debris…. I’m just not dealing well.

Hell, I dreamed about her dying last night and me pulling her dead body out of the debris instead of a live and bawling little girl, traumatized and with broken arm, but otherwise okay.

I’m so lucky that the water didn’t really spread that far into my unit, just a bit in the kitchen, but it seems that the worry over what’s going on next door is really getting to me and I need to relax and let it go.  Everyone is okay… and it’s going to be okay.

DECK USED: THE EFFLORESCENT TAROT (COLOR EDITION)

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I manage or release those expectations and leave room for growth?

Fey TarotReading Summary:  Connect with and rely on others (Two of Cups) rather than trying to “fight this battle alone” (Seven of Wands).

Take Away:  The expectation from yesterday is that working with that new depth of emotion discovered last fall should be easy for me.  It’s not an expectation of the work, but rather an expectation of myself that I should be capable enough to deal with it without issue or problem.   It’s unrealistic, and I know that.

The cards in this read indicate that in order to release those expectations and leave room for growth, I need to accept it is not something I’m going to be able to do on my own, and I need not just be willing to ask for help… but actually do the asking instead of pushing myself to say “I’ve got this” and trying to struggle through it alone.

DECK USED:  FEY TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Do Spread #4

Golden Art Nouveau Tarot

Reading Summary:  OOPS CRAP… I did Spread #5  So I will interpret this one for today, and then do Spread #4 next week in place of the one I’m doing today.

Card 1 – Too much focus on my business and the focus upon my goals concerning stability and financial independence.

Card 2 – I need to take more time in meditation and personal reflection, so that I can connect deeper and move beyond surface and/or superficial focal points. The tarot has more to offer me than it can provide when limited to those topics.

Card 3 – I try to hard to empower my client during their reading, and that can sometimes cause the message to become diluted and thus do the opposite of what was intended.

Take Away:   When reading for myself… look deeper. Use my meditation as a tool to find those deeper threads and follow them into deeper waters of my life and psyche.  The cards are essentially saying that I’ve fallen into a bit of a rut.

When reading for others, remember that sometimes the message being conveyed needs to be blunt and/or sharp in order to really drill down into the mind of the client.  Sometimes providing explanation does not assist in empowerment, but is a detriment to it.

DECK USED:  GOLDEN ART NOUVEAU TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: What do I need for a successful year?

Lighteater's Tarot

Reading Summary: Impassioned focus upon my goals (Princess of Staves) will overcome adversity (Five of Swords) and allow me to find a more stable center for pursuit of my ambitions (King of Staves), even in times of struggle (Five of Coins).

Take Away:  The things that I want to accomplish this year are going to require going through a good deal of strife and struggle along the way.  In order to succeed and move through these issues, I need to hold tight to my exploratory spark in relation to my passions and work at keeping that spark not just lit and alive, but also stable and controlled.

DECK USED:  LIGHTEATER’S TAROT

Hermit Crabs and Tortoise Shells

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was… non-existent.  I’m running on about two and a half hours of sleep at the moment, and any lying down or inactively sitting still I do is going to result in me falling asleep.  Because of that, there was no way that I could do my meditation this morning, and I couldn’t do it in the car because the weather and roads were so bad today that even when I wasn’t driving, J needed the help in keeping an eye out for issues.

I will try to meditate when I lie down for bed tonight, though.  If I fall asleep then, at least it’ll be safe and that sleep won’t be cutting into anything important.

Efflorescent Tarot (Color Edition)Today’s draw is a double without a jumper, meaning that both cards came out together from the deck.  The cards in today’s draw are the Hermit card and the Eight of Cups.

This is 100% about how I feel today.  It’s about the drop, and it’s about our issues last night, and it’s about how I feel on the inside.

I don’t want anything to do with what happened yesterday.   And after last night?  I don’t want anything to do with the drop either.  Not that the drop is ever pleasant to begin with, but… yeah.

Today’s cards have appeared to force me to confront that want to hide away and retreat, and a reminder that what we have is worth fighting for and holding onto, even when all I really want to do is retreat into my shell and hunker down in there out of sight.

DECK USED: THE EFFLORESCENT TAROT (COLOR EDITION)

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I make space for that joy this year? (From yesterday’s cards.)

Arcana Tarot by Hydra-Nix

Reading Summary:  I need to better balance my needs (Justice card) with my constant quest to know more (Page of Swords) and doing better in those things that foster my sense of security (Page of Pentacles).

Take Away:  I always prioritize the whole “learning more and doing better” thing when it comes to how I manage my time, and that includes time spent in my relationship with you.  I work hard to obtain and hold onto security and stability in my life both financially and in my home, and that is where a huge amount of my focus lies.

Expressing dominance in our relationship (which is the joy that yesterday’s reading was about) takes a significant amount of energy and effort, even when that need rises to a point it can’t be ignored.  That energy and effort over the past year has been channeled into my work and fostering that stability instead of being expressed through our relationship.

Today’s cards indicate that I need to find a better balance between those material demands (and the knowledge gathering they require) and the facet of our relationship that allows me to express those more dominant urges.

DECK USED:  THE ARCANA TAROT BY HYDRA-NIX

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What concession can you make to provide for yesterday’s inner child craving?

Forest Creatures Tarot

Reading Summary:  I need to look into and explore (Page of Swords) a better way of getting to those natural places I crave (The Chariot) rather than dispairing that I can’t reach them (Nine of Swords).   If I make some changes (Death), I’ll find myself much happier with what I have afterward (Nine of Cups).

Take Away:  Yesterday’s read was about getting out in nature more, even when it’s frigidly cold, as it is right now.   The cards in today’s reading are about finding better ways to access nature so that I can spend the time I need there to feel good and right with the world.  I need to explore alternative ways to get where I want (and need) to be.  Maybe I should look into something like a snowmobile rental or some sort of ATV use for this time of year so that I can get out to those remote spots more easily when the temperatures are so low that hiking isn’t an option.

DECK USED:  FOREST CREATURES TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: What could help my daily organization?

Lighteater's Tarot

Reading Summary:  I need to be kinder to myself (Amicka) and stop presenting the image that I have it all together (Six of Staves) when in truth I’m a bit lost in the weeds (The Moon).

Take Away:  Okay so firstly?   This deck needs to be moved over into my shadow work decks.  Because… Jesus.  Just sayin’.  But this is the second time the imagery has jerked me into some pretty intense reactions…. and the second time I have used the deck.  (I just bought it earlier this month.)  I’m going to continue to use it through the end of the month as a regular deck, but I have a feeling it’s just too hard-hitting for “everyday” use.

So, that out of the way… I am very skilled at being extremely hard on myself.  I’ve had a lifetime of practice with a spectacular teacher who was very skilled at making you feel that you aren’t good enough.   This tendency means that I often present a “everything is perfectly fine” front even when it’s not.  If I want to find a better way of organizing my daily life?  I’m going to have to let go of both that tendency to tear myself apart and the tendency to pretend everything is okay, because I need to be able to let others in to help me when i start to feel lost and overwhelmed.

DECK USED:  LIGHTEATER’S TAROT

Creation Through Conflict

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and focused on a full body scan for the most part.  It was not a guided meditation, and although I had intended on going for a full fifteen minutes, I was interrupted by a phone call from the doctor’s office and couldn’t get back into it after I’d hung up.  (Everything is fine, it’s just bloodwork related.)

Spacious Tarot Today’s draw is the Five of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of tests, trials, and conflict in the area of one’s ambitions, passions, and drive.

What I see, though?  Is spark.

The message contained in the Five of Wands in today’s draw is that sometimes conflict actually has the potential to create.  It has the ability to get the juices flowing and, although conflict and trials can be a struggle, they can also provide a much needed clearing of air and energy, which makes room for something new and better.

DECK USED:  THE SPACIOUS TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: What does my mind want me to know about 2020?

Lost Forest Tarot

Reading Summary:  I need to take time to examine what I’ve done and what I can do better (Judgement), especially in the area of what I want from my business (Queen of Fire), and in which direction I want to push it in (Knight of Fire).

Take Away:  I very often associate my creative business with fire, as that is a huge part of where my inner spark and drive are directed.  It’s no different here, where the answer to what my mind wants me to know for the year ahead focuses upon that business.  This is a reminder to look back at the time that has passed and base my future momentum upon what has and has not worked rather than constantly focusing on what I want in the future.

DECK USED:  LOST FOREST TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do you feel you deserve?

Beautiful Creatures TarotReading Summary:  The desire for something better (Six of Swords) obtained through a combination of optimism (The Sun),  self possession and strength (The Emperor), collaboration with others (Three of Coins), and a nurturing warmth towards myself and others (The Empress).

Take Away:  What I see here are the elements that I feel I am not strong enough in.  Elements that are building blocks to a change for the better, but are not my strongest qualities.  Considering the question, the cards indicate I believe I deserve to be better at these particular qualities and, as a result, deserve for things to be better in my life because of them.

It is not realistic, of course, as you do not miraculously develop such qualities… you learn them and work at them.   They are something to strive for, not something to simply obtain.

DECK USED:  FOREST CREATURES TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: Three cards that pertain to my goals.  (Rephrased for specificity.)

The Arcana Tarot

Reading Summary:  Lots of appearances of the King of Wands over the past few days for me.   If I want to find a sense of balance between my struggle for security (Nine of Wands) and a sense of contentment (Nine of Cups), I need to work at embodying a more controlled attitude toward my passions and drive (King of Wands).

Take Away:  A lot of times my passions and drive, both for the creative aspects of my business as well as my business as a whole, cause me to push too hard.  This creates a sense of imbalance and defensiveness that does not at all foster a sense of contentment.  If I apply more control and mediation to my drive, I can find a better balance and feel more satisfaction with my work.

DECK USED:  THE HYDRA-NIX ARCANA TAROT