An Iconic Love

Today’s meditation hasn’t happened yet, as I decided to hurry my ass up and get outside and get some fresh air in the woods rather than spending the time in meditation.   So… I will do the meditation before bed tonight.   Thank you so much for deciding to come with me on my walk in the woods today, man.    I love you.

Forager's Daughter Tarot - Two of CupsToday’s draw is the Two of Cups, which is traditionally traditionally interpreted as indication of connections, partnerships, and attractions focused in the areas of emotions and relationships. The key factor in these attractions, partnerships, and connections is the mutual aspect within them.

What stood out to me the strongest today in this card when I saw it this morning was the pouring of water from the two cups above the ducks.   I didn’t understand why I was so drawn to the flow of water from these cups at the time, but I do now.  It is, essentially, the “rain on my parade”.   The water flowing from those cups splashing down upon the ducks below was an indication that things were not going to go as I had planned.

I missed the message in the moment, and only see it now in retrospect.

That aside…  The positive message in this card is not the splashing of water from the cups but rather the mallards themselves.  They are a representation of you and I… and our relationship.   Long standing… and universally understood. No matter where we are, no matter where mallards are, the connection between male and female are seen and understood as a connection between one soul and another.  A connection of love.


#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
: How can I move forward with more loving kindness toward myself?

Mystical Manga Tarot

Reading Summary: Set down my coins (Two of Pentacles) and take some time to celebrate (Four of Wands) the good stuff (The Lovers).

Take Away: This is a reminder from the cards that I need to keep myself from diving so deeply into work and responsibility that I forget about the good stuff.  I have fallen into bad habits over the past two weeks that are exactly along this line, and I need to return to focusing upon stretching out my obligations and responsibilities and creating space… rather than allowing old habits and ways of doing things to slip in and steal away my “good stuff”.


#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
: Do Spread #4

Cosmos Tarot and OracleWhat has allowed stress to take root in my life?:  The Dorado card indicates that by focusing too much upon my responsibilities and obligations I have allowed stress to take root. I am putting too much focus and value on work and responsibility.

What is the core stressor in my life I can change?:  Instead of just “intending” to create balance between my responsibilities and my need for more space in my life, I need to actually step forward and do it.  They Cygnus card indicates that intentions are only as good as the strategy you develop to bring those intentions to life… and sometimes you have to battle yourself to get there.

What can I do to ease my current stress and anxiety?:  The Comet card indicates that my stress and anxiety is the “harbinger of change”.  If I want to ease my current stress and anxiety, I need to do more than plan and strategize. It’s time to actually make changes instead of just thinking about them.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How do I choose relationships that bring out the best in me?

Mystic Faerie Tarot

Reading Summary: Choose those that understand my goals (Ten of Pentacles), that have Gideon’s mark of approval (King of Cups), and accept that I will always bounce back eventually (Knave of Swords).

Take Away:  It’s easier to find healthy and positive relationships when you look for those that, even if they don’t hold the same goals as you, understand where your core values and goals lie and accept them as a part of you.

The second card is Gideon…. and it speaks of your love for me and your need to protect me from those that do not have my best interests at heart.  You gives me the freedom to choose my friends as I wish (as I wouldn’t have it any other way), but as the King of Cups, you often have observations and insights into people that I don’t see or understand at first.   Your input is often crucial in me finding those friends that are healthy and long lasting.  

The third card is about my ability to “bounce back” from hardships and struggles. It’s about finding those that support me in that rather than those that encourage me to wallow or remain in a negative headspace after struggle or misfortune has brought me to my knees.


Two For The Price of One

Today’s meditation has not taken place yet.  I’ve been feeling a  bit out of sorts today, and while I know that meditation might be able to help this, at the same time I’ve been feeling very contrary and resistant… so, it hasn’t happened.  I will make sure to meditate before bed though, and try to put a little more effort into making sure it gets done in the mornings, as I know I benefit a great deal more from morning meditation than I seem to by doing them in the evening.

Forager's Daughter Tarot - The FoolToday’s draw is the Fool card of the Major Arcana, which is traditionally read as a card representing innocence, new beginnings, naivete, and boundless enthusiasm. There is a novice and untried air to the Fool, as he has yet to have tripped over a single pebble or stubbed his toe on a single root yet on his journey.   There is also a hint of anticipation, as adventures await the Fool, and he’s eager to begin.

I have to admit that as the Fool, I struggle with this card a bit.  Not me as the Fool, but this imagery as a representation of the Fool.  Because the taproot in this imagery looks like it is going through the egg (as opposed to behind it) this card feels far more to me like the World card than it does the Fool card.   Granted, the World and the Fool are connected by the Major Arcana’s cycle… so it is still fitting.  It just… fits more to me as the World.

That aside.    What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery on this card today is the Monarch butterfly working at wiggling its way free of the cocoon.  That imagery does indeed speak to me of the Fool and the World.  It speaks to me of the Fool because the butterfly is breaking free into a brand new form never experienced before.  It is eager for freedom and fights to get free of the cocoon in order to spread its wings.  At the same time, the other cocoons not yet open speak to me of the World.  For there is an ending and a beginning within those dangling pods, a transformation in the making.

There is a transformation happening in my life at the moment as well.   As I plan at returning to more regular work, and begin sorting through responsibilities and obligations, I am transforming how I used to do things into a new plan and a new norm.  The Fool has been a secondary stalker card for me over the past few weeks, trailing along behind the Ace of Cups, it appears again and again, just not quite as frequently.

The Fool’s message is twofold.  New beginnings and fresh starts take a change of mindset… and, that the change of mindset needed is one of wide eyed curiosity and eager optimism.


#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
: How can I honor or uphold my body’s message?

Animal Wisdom Tarot

Reading Summary: Find a way (Fox), even if it feels like stealing time from something else (Magpie). You need the perspective provided (Bat) to help join emotion and intuition (Dolphins) for that growth that involves both (Nautilus).

There is, through color and mood of the skies in both cards, a connection between the Bat and the Fox that speaks of using my ability at being able to see multiple new perspectives to help me in finding a path to what my body needs.

There is also a connection between the Dolphin card and the Nautilus that involves a great deal of color combination as well as the spiral beneath the water in the Dolphin cards and its corresponding spiral of the Nautilus shell.   These correspondences reinforce a message in yesterday’s read about the interconnection between the emotions and intuition on this journey of growth that I’m on.

Take Away:  I can honor my body’s message (which is that I need to take better care of my body so that I will feel better overall) by shuffling my crap around to find the time to get in a bit of exercise, keeping in mind that if I do not there’s a good possibility I’ll end up stunting the growth I’ve been trying to foster in myself lately.


#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
: What loss do I fear the most?

Stella's TarotReading Summary: The death of hope (The Star) and happiness (The Sun) closing me off to the world and sinking me into my own inner hell (Nine of Swords) as it obliterates my ability to see multiple perspectives (The Hanged Man Rx).

Take Away:  So the true fear of loss here has to do with losing my ability to view things in an unbiased manner and see multiple perspectives. The death of hope and happiness is the path to that outcome.

The thing is, that it really terrifies me to actually think I could lose that.  That perspective.  That ability to step back and really see things from “both sides” or multiple views.  It worries me that without that ability, I would become closed minded and hard… which is something I would never want.


: Given the current restrictions, how can I give and receive support to those important people in my life?

TaRat Rat Tarot

Reading Summary: You have to take action (Three of Wands) to celebrate what you have (Four of Wands) even in the worst of times (Ten of Swords). homecoming = reaching out

Take Away:  The Four of Wands is not just a “celebration” card, but also holds roots in the concept of “homecoming”.  Which is to say that in this case that ‘celebration’ seen in the cards has more to do with enjoying what I have…. enjoying my loved ones and taking action to enjoy them in the ways I am able… even when things are more difficult or feel impossible.  This is where phone calls and other forms of communication come in, as they allow that celebration of our connection, even from afar.


Lean In… I Have Two Shoulders

Today’s meditation was just under eleven minutes long and was attached to the end of my yoga / physio practice.   I had a good deal to do today and didn’t want to risk falling asleep, so I did a steady breathing exercise combined with a full body scan while on my yoga mat rather than doing the meditation on the bed while in a piriformis stretch.  It’s just too easy to get comfortable and doze off on the bed sometimes.

Forager's Daughter Tarot - Ten of PentaclesToday’s draw is is the Ten of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of attainment, completion, and fulfilled contentment in the area of one’s finances, resources, health, and the physical world.

What stands out to me the strongest today in this card’s imagery is the mama bear.  This speaks to me of a sense of security and stability when combined with the presence of the little cub that she stands besides. The protective aggression that a mother bear has for her cubs is legendary and well known around the world, and in this imagery, I see the security and stability she offers to the cub just by her presence.

The message in today’s card is a reminder of the security and stability that I provide those that depend upon me, just by being there.  Just by them knowing that I have their backs and am there for them when they have need. As well as a reminder of the fulfillment that I gain from being that security and stability for those I love.


#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
: How can I honor or uphold my inner child’s message?

Mermaid Tarot

Reading Summary: Allow others in (Two of Cups) to help keep me on track (The Fool Rx) and in control (The Emperor).

Take Away:  My inner child’s message was about making sure as things settle back into a “new normal” post-pandemic lockdown, that I don’t forget about my self care.  The cards here in this reading indicate that in order to uphold that advice, I need to reach out to others to help keep me from falling back into old habits.  Even kings have advisors.


#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
: How can I better utilize my free time?

Tarot MuchaReading Summary: The Ace of Wands and Ace of Cups are conjoined in this reading and represent those things that both inspire my inner spark as well as create a sense of joy and pleasure.   The message here, when combined with the Fool, is that I need to bound after these things with enthusiastic joy.

Take Away:  The cards here speak about the need to balance my work time with more of what makes me feel enthusiastic and inspired.  I currently fill my free time with yet more work, and sleep.  I work while I eat… I work while I spend time with you.  I work all the time.  The cards don’t just tell me what to do with my free time, but indicate the attitude that I need to approach free time with…. not seeing it as an opportunity to “get more done”, but instead as an opportunity to have some fun.


: How can I embrace the new ‘normal’ and re-balance it into my life?

Light Visions Tarot

Reading Summary: This reading carries over from the reading I did today for Tarotholics Challenge.  It speaks of embracing those things that “light my fire” (Knight of Wands) and allowing them to be at the foundation of my restructuring process (Queen of Wands).   The Seven of Swords here is a reminder that taking time to enjoy the things that make you happy is not something to feel guilty about.  You are not “stealing” that time away from other responsibilities and obligations… especially not if you specifically make room in the new life balance to fit these things in.

Take Away:  This again falls into the same message that I have been getting a lot lately.  That is, that I need to make sure I am leaving room on my plate to allow for time to breathe and have a little fun.  A flame cannot spark or dance if it has no oxygen… and my creative spark is the same.  It needs room to stretch and breathe, it needs a sense of openness and fun and a lack of guilt over taking time to enjoy.  It’s important that I create that room as things begin returning to the “new norm” so that I don’t lose the progress and growth that I’ve been experiencing over this time.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: When do I feel responsible for another person’s feelings?

Fairy Tarot by Doreen Virtue

Reading Summary: When I’m blindly going about my business without paying attention to my surroundings or affect on others (Eight of Winter) and end up hurting other’s feelings (Queen of Winter Rx) as a result either through intention (Princess of Autumn) or inexperience (Princess of Summer).

Take Away:  The truth is? Everyone does this sometimes, including myself.  You get so wrapped up in your own little world and your own personal perspectives, or distracted by a situation, that you forget about everyone and everything else…. and end up hurting someone’s feelings as a result.   This type of situation is when I feel responsible for other’s feelings… because it seems like it is a direct result of my own carelessness (which can also sometimes appear like callousness).  

The advice provided is that when I’m in this type of situation, it’s time to bring in outside eyes to look at what happened and give their perspective and advice.



Sidestepping the Trap

Today’s meditation was skipped in favor of going out into the world to shop for a small stand-alone freezer. With three people living in this condo, and one of them (me) requiring a minimum of 5000 or more calories a day… there is just not enough room in my tiny “top of the fridge” freezer.   So, I finally caved and went out and bought myself a small stand alone that doesn’t really fit in my tiny kitchen all that well, but is sure to make life a hell of a lot easier regardless.

I will do a brief meditation when I lie down to go to bed in a bit, though.  So I won’t have skipped entirely.

Forager's Daughter Tarot - Queen of SwordsToday’s draw is the Queen of Swords, which is traditionally interpreted as a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the areas of intellect, the mind, and communication. This often demonstrates in themes that have to do with independence and setting clear boundaries, a lack of bias, and being direct in one’s communication with others.

Okay so.. .admittedly, the first thing that stood out to me in this card’s imagery today is the spider.  Not for any other reason than the fact that it looks exactly like the spider that bit Peter Parker in the 2002 Spiderman movie. I mean… seriously.  It does.

Anyway.  Yeah.   That aside… what stands out to me most strongly in this imagery today is not the spider, but the moth.   One strand… and it’s stuck.  Just one strand of web, and it’s stuck in the spider’s clutches.

This feels like a build off of a reading I did yesterday that involved my mother and her machinations.   It is about remembering not to be drawn into her drama and staying focused instead upon what it is I truly need to pay attention to.  The message here is to pay attention and to take care not fall into old predictable patterns that I have already repeated again and again.

Although this message is brought to me through the memory of the reading about my mother, and relates well to my relationship with her… it also reaches beyond that relationship into other factors and relationships in my life…. relationships with others and relationships with myself.

I know this doesn’t seem like a particularly positive message to carry with me throughout my day, but I feel as if the effects of having heard this message will, in turn, be very positive as I will be aware of the traps I set for myself and those set for me by others, and in being warned to their arrival, have an easier time identifying them and side-stepping them.


#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
: How can I add more joy into my life?

TaRat Rat Tarot

Reading Summary: Choose a direction (Two of Wands) that allows you to celebrate more (Four of Wands) and have more carefree moments (The Fool).

Take Away:  This is something I am very much trying to do with this time that I’m away from the full weight of my responsibilities and obligations.   I am truly hoping to rearrange things and find a better way… a less stressful way… to fulfill my responsibilities and obligations while keeping a bit more space within my to breathe and enjoy life.


#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
: What value do I add to the lives of those around me?

Dixit Cards v.2 Quest Expansion PackReading Summary: I show/teach people how to turn their mistakes into positives (left card)… and how do use what they have to their advantage (center card)… and how to more effectively confront (blue right card) their inner demons (orange right card).

Take Away:  This is about self acceptance.  It’s about finding a path that works for the individual.   These cards indicate that the value that I add to others lives comes in the way that I help them find that path that is individually right for them.  Whether that is through teaching them in our interactions or by leading by example.  

Anyone that regularly follows my personal readings knows that I definitely do not have “it all together” and that I am a work in progress. I work to make myself a better person, and I forge the path that feels right for me, plowing the way before me one step at a time.  I am flawed and, in some cases?  I’m seriously fucked up.   But I have to admit that it feels good to know even with all of that? I am still able to help others in finding their way.


: What can I do to maintain the abundance I’ve found in this time away when I return back to a ‘normal’ state?

I Tarocchi Visconti Sforza Piccolo

Reading Summary: Don’t look at it as an ending (Ten of Swords), but rather a new beginning and an opportunity to do things better (Page of Wands) while taking better care of yourself (Four of Swords).

Take Away:  The bare bones interpretation pretty much says it all.  If I want to enjoy the abundance I’ve found in this time at home, which includes the tighter connection with loved ones and the untying of knots deep within myself that have knotted up through stress and flagellation of my inner self… then I need to look at this time as an opportunity to change things, rather than a temporary change that will “go away” when more restrictions begin to be lifted and opportunities return to delve back into my responsibilities and obligations.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: When are my feelings discombobulated?

Embroidered Forest Tarot

Reading Summary: When I am at a place where I need to begin taking steps to start anew (Page of Pentacles), and yet I feel as if I’m still in the middle of bleeding out from my previous experiences (Ten of Swords) and not getting the support and encouragement I need (Six of Wands Rx).

Take Away:  When life has kicked you in the nuts and you’re on the floor recovering from the blow, it’s hard to get your ass up and learn to walk and talk again and do things better the second time around.  It helps to have someone there saying “come on, get up”.  Someone to cheer you on and let you know that you’re not alone.

When that someone isn’t there?  Getting up is much harder and the emotions can have a tendency at those times to tie themselves up in knots of self pity and loneliness.