Listen More Closely

IMG_7933Today’s meditation was right at about ten minutes long today, and was a guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis stretches.

The topic of today’s guided meditation was growth, and the discomfort that we go through as we grow.  It was about how that discomfort is natural and, although uncomfortable, is a good thing.  It’s through these growing pains that we develop into someone better, and become more than we currently are.

If, instead of accepting these growing pains and discomfort as a part of life, we instead turn around and hide from those uncomfortable feelings then we also hide from the experiences that provide us with growth and betterment.

Tarot of the Little Prince - Five of WandsToday’s draw is the Five of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of tests, trials, and conflict in the area of one’s drive, inspiration, willpower, and determination.  This often translates into either struggles that cause you to be held back and you fight against that barrier, or impassioned conflict concerning what one believes in.

What stands out to me in this card’s image today is the fact that the snake is actually fighting using a wand.  I mean… that’s remarkable right?  Okay so when I saw this today, I thought…. “Hm, watch out for unexpected trouble.”

Although to be honest?  I really didn’t expect “unexpected trouble” to come in the guise of a crazy ass 220 pound white guy with a rage issue screaming at me to go back to my “homeland” and take the “China flu back there with you” as he handed me my ass in a parking lot.

Thank you for the warning…. I’m sorry I didn’t listen more closely this morning.


#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
: Think of a problem that needs solving and pull cards in relation to… Where To Begin / What Half Way Looks Like / How to End Things / Long Term Ramifications
Problem: Keeping up with the holiday rush

Bosch TarotWhere To BeginStrength – Remember that you’ve got this. You are capable and strong, you have the inner stamina and strength to make it through, no matter how bad it gets.  You run this gauntlet every year, and you always make it through just fine, if feeling a little ragged by the end.

What Half Way Looks LikeThe Lovers – Half way there is a good time to remember that you need to include self care.  It can be really hard to fit in those things that help you feeling refreshed when in the middle of keeping the chaos in line. But you need it.  So don’t skimp on it.

How to End ThingsKing of Pentacles – Flush from the holiday rush, you will have your finances in a better place than they’ve been in some time.  Make sure you invest that money wisely, save it wisely, and put it towards that stability and security you constantly crave.

Long Term RamificationsSix of Swords – Somewhere better than where you’re at now.  Positive advancement towards improvement and being “in a better place” financially.  That is what you run this gamut for each year, after all.


Abstinence is a Strength

Today’s meditation was… well… it kinda turned into nap time.  I actually took a grand total of two naps today. So although I didn’t really get in a decent meditation, I did manage to get well rested.  It was actually really nice, to be honest. Although, I have to say…  satin pillowcases are way too comfortable and make it so tempting to just nuzzle in and go back to sleep. Dangerous stuff right there.

Hush Tarot - Five of WandsToday’s draw is the Five of Wands is traditionally about trials, tests, and conflict in the area of one’s passions and drive.  The word “passions” in this instance is not about sex, but rather about the interests that light that spark within you and create an inferno of interest that needs to be followed and/or obtained in order to be sated.

I really like the imagery on this card.  I mean at first it just looks like a tangled mess with some spears added in, but when you really sit down and look at it, what you find is three snakes, two of which are in conflict concerning something they are both passionate about, while the third is caught in the crossfire.

That is how conflict goes sometimes, right?  It’s not always clear cut.  Sometimes people get caught in the crossfire and are forced to either choose sides or end up tangled up and embroiled in a mess not of their own making. That third snake in the imagery clearly just wants to get out.  It wants no part of this quarrel, and yet it is stuck in the middle and unable to get free.

The message in today’s card is to take care not to become tangled up in conflicts that you really don’t want to be in.  Sometimes? It’s okay to take a step back and abstain.


#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
: Where to love more?

WilderWoven Tarot

Reading Summary: It’s OK to take things slow (Tree of Life and Knight of Pentacles both depicting long, slow journeys), just don’t give up (Eight of Cups).

Take Away:  This is about self-love.  It’s about the impatience I feel towards myself when I feel that I am not moving fast enough or progressing quickly enough.  It’s about that “Not Enough” shadow deep inside that is always nitpicking at everything I do and telling me it’s not enough.  The love that is needed is a love of self, and the understanding that it’s okay to take my time and not to let that inner voice cause me to say “fuck it” and walk away.


#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
: What do I need to focus on for self-care for this new moon?

Joe Sparrow TarotReading Summary:  Preparation (Page of Wands). Self Care (The Empress). Streamlining (Ace of Swords).  Note: Color combinations between the Page of Wands and Ace of Swords connect these two cards into a singular theme.

Take Away:  As this week is my week off and lands right smack dab upon the new moon, this is the ideal time to give myself a little rest and nurturing recuperation that is suggested in the Empress card, the placement of which in the center of this spread indicates its priority and how its theme should permeate through the rest of the reading.

My self care this new moon needs to be a combination of taking care of my need for rest and nurturing activities, joined with the needed preparations necessary for the holiday rush that is right around the corner.  Part of that preparation requires the streamlining of certain processes, as well as the progress of actually stocking up on supplies for my business and it’s needs.


Lionharts #AstroTarotChallenge
: What could further support my partnerships?

Brady Tarot

Father of Feathers atop The Empress Rx – Although being kind to yourself and others is all well and good?  It isn’t always the answer and sometimes tough love is needed. Lighting a fire under someone’s ass to get them motivated is sometimes the only way you’ll be able to get them motivated.

Five of Horns atop The Hierophant Rx – Don’t allow times when you’re feeling down to influence how you interact with those that come for your help. This isn’t about having eased up on the teaching schedule to give yourself space for your own personal growth, but rather it’s about your current influences on others.

Five of Feathers atop Death Rx – Being competitive has its place… be sure to keep it there. Being competitive is not really in my nature, but like everyone else… sometimes it sparks up when I’m least expecting it. This is another “choose your battles wisely” message like so many I have received from the cards lately.


#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What needs to be different in my life?

El Goliath Tarot 2nd EditionReading Summary:  Too much juggling (Two of Pentacles) leading to burnout and a resulting apathy (Five of Cups) that then smothers out my natural creative spark (Ace of Wands).

Take Away:  This is what I have been working on so intently over the year thus far. I’ve come a long way toward giving myself more space and allowing myself more rest along the way.  As a result, I experience less burn out.   The cards here are a warning that these tendencies are very likely to try and rise up and repeat as I get closer to the holiday rush.  It’s something I need to watch out for and work at being conscious concerning so that I can catch these bad habits and course correct along the way.


Taking Control

IMG_3763Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and focused upon a long full body scan that took up nearly the entire length of the ten minute meditation, and then a brief mention of the topic of patience at the end.

I think that this guided meditation was initially intended as simply a body scan, and that the patience part of it was more of an addition to the end due to the current state of world affairs and trying to give people a bit of ease with the fact that the entire world is currently in a state of “sit and wait” for the time being.

There was nothing in the talk or the quote included and shared in the image for this post that I objected to, it just felt incongruous with the rest of the meditation.

img_9606Today’s draw is the Five of Flame (Five of Wands) which is traditionally a representation of trials, conflict, and tests in the area of one’s drive, passions, and ambitions.

As I’ve mentioned before, this card is hands-down my absolute favorite imagery on any card in any deck, across the board.  I love this depiction of the Five of Wands, as it speaks to me of so much more than just conflict and strife, but also of strength, determination, and empowerment.

The message that I saw in today’s card is about taking actions to back those things you want to happen.  Intentions are all well and good, but unless you are willing to confront your challenges and take them on? Those intentions aren’t going to take you very far.

I did this today by going back and deleting the draft posts that I had made for the posts I’d missed over the past week here on the blog.  I had a long line of “catching up” to do, and as a part of my determination to give myself more space and take more pressure off myself concerning the blog and my personal readings, I went through and deleted the “catch up posts” that I needed to do, allowing myself to discard the idea of catching up entirely.


#TarotForGrowthApril Challenge Prompt
: Where am I most in need of support right now?


Reading Summary: Emotional well-being (Ten of Water) and passion projects (Ace of Fire) where a better sense of direction (Three of Fire) is needed.

Take Away:  Well, considering what we’ve been doing all day, the fact that I’m going to need some pretty hefty emotional support is to be expected. The drop is going to be a bitch when it comes.

The other two are also about what we’ve been doing all day.  Usually once we start getting intimate with our characters in rp, we end up losing direction in our play.  I really would like to continue to explore the characters we are currently playing and I’m really hoping that doesn’t pattern happen this time.  These cards indicate that in order to avoid that result it’s going to take a team effort.


#DiscordTarotholicsApr2020 Challenge Prompt
: Do Spread #3

IMG_3771Me:  I am a practical provider and juggler of responsibilities between work and home. I am extremely grounded.

My Goal: A closer bond in my relationships with my guides.

The Obstacle:  Because I am so very grounded and logic oriented, it can be difficult sometimes when trying to delve into unfamiliar areas of the esoteric.  This difficulty shows its face as uncertainty and a lack of confidence in both myself and my process.

Guidance:  I need to take time to figure out how to make amends and reconcile with my spirit guides because I have ignored and neglected them and their role in my life (and existence as a whole) for so long.


#MidnightTarotChallenge Prompt
Question: How can I handle upcoming challenges and roadblocks to my goals? (rephrased to not be built off previous day’s cards)


Reading Summary: Perseverance (Strength), staying present (Six of Cups), and not ignoring what’s right in front of me (Eight of Swords).

Take Away:  That last one is a toughie for me, as that selective ignorance is something I really excel at when it comes to things that are bothering me or I am struggling with. The cards here say that as future struggles emerge, I will need to make sure to stand strong and keep my mind in the game.  Don’t allow “what used to be” or how things “used to be done” to distract me from the present issues and best solution.   That best solution, incidentally, might be right in front of my face… so pay attention.



Ride It Out Instead of Fighting

IMG_2713Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and was focused upon worrying and how it can so often be a useless endeavor.   I see worry spiral out of control all the time.  Somehow, I seem to attract people that have a worrier’s mind.  They pick up a worry like it’s a tiny little seed, and in their mind it takes root and grows like an invasive species until it fills up every nook and cranny of their minds.

This type of worry isn’t helpful, although some of those “what ifs” can come in helpful in preparing for the unknown.   But what it really does is raise anxiety and work the person up to the point that they can’t sleep and can’t get their mind onto anything else.

I have to admit, though… my own habit of ignoring issues is also not good.  The key is to find a happy medium.

Five of Wands and Six of Wands - Tarot of the Hidden RealmToday’s draw is a double without a jumper, which means that both cards came out together as one.  The cards in today’s draw are the Five of Wands and the Six of Wands (and, yes, this deck is very, very thoroughly shuffled).

What I see here in the cards is that sometimes you have to surrender to the chaos.   I don’t really do “chaos” all that well.  Change?  Sure… it’s difficult but I’m okay with riding it out.  Chaos, on the other hand…. I do not ride out very well.  It causes a lot of stress and anxiety and is just all around unpleasant.

BUT… it happens.  It may actually even be necessary for human development and progress.  I just need to remember that when it comes calling, not to fight so hard against it.  It’s natural… it’s temporary… and it’ll be okay.


#TarotForGrowthFebruary Challenge Prompt
: What is my relationship with my work?

Oriens Tarot

Reading Summary: When I look at this spread, I see an undercurrent of the depths of the sea within the cards on either side, and the lifting up and surfacing of the center cards as being on a layer above.    Lower layer is cold, hard sea…. upper layer (center cards) is the rising to the surface and the light.

In juggling responsibilities (Two of Pentacles) and that inner spark of new inspirations (Ace of Wands),  I am working on rising above and letting go (Eight of Cups) of  what isn’t working and is holding me back from my aspirations (Ten of Pentacles Rx).


#DiscordTarotholicsFeb2020 Challenge Prompt
: What is one of my least positive qualities?

Britt's Third Eye Tarot

Reading Summary: I’m a bastard about telling myself that I’m not doing well enough and or not contributing enough.  These cards are in reference to my self-judgement (Judgement) of my performance and abilities (Knight of Swords), and my inability to ever accept that I’m doing enough (Four of Pentacles).

Take Away: Accurate.  I’m actively working on being more accepting of myself and the products of my skills and abilities, and yet.. I am very much my own worst critic.  The cards are calling me out on this specifically in relation to my work and the product of my work.


Owl and Bones February Two Card Challenge
: Elevate this / Calm the fuck down here

The Hide TarotElevate This :  This card speaks of playing to my strengths concerning helping others.  This is something that brings me a lot of enjoyment and a great deal of pleasure.  I like helping others find what’s right for them, and helping them find their path.   This card speaks to that ability, and my enjoyment of it.

Calm the fuck down here :  Ease up on myself concerning my accomplishments.  The cards have told me this a lot lately, but I need to accept that I don’t have to do everything at once, and nothing requires being done right this instant.  It’s okay to take my time and take things slow.