five of swords

Paying Attention

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magnetostrictive ultrasonic scalerToday’s meditation was about forty minutes long, and took place at the dentist’s office. I have a really difficult time at the dentist’s office due to my synesthesia. So many of the sounds that take place in that chair are unpleasant on a level that goes far beyond sound.  Some of them aren’t bad, others I don’t have  a reaction to at all.  But there are a few that really make dental work difficult and painful.

For example, the sound of the magnetostrictive ultrasonic scaler, which causes muscle spasms in my left pec which combine with a sensation of a long, thin needle piercing between two of my ribs in the back at an angle to points to exactly where that muscle spasm takes place.   For a moment, this sensation is painful but might cause a gasp before you take a breath and move on.  Over a continuous length of time, it leaves a lasting soreness that carries beyond the drawn out intensity in the moment.

Traditional Manga Tarot - Five of SwordsToday’s draw is the Five of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of tests, trials, or conflict in the area of one’s thoughts, education, intellect, communication, or ambition.  This often comes across in the form of competition, arguments, or can communicate a determination to win no matter what.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card is the person in the lower left side that is crying in the background, and the fact that the helmet of the main figure in the card covers their eyes.

There is a reminder here to pay attention to what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. Are you hurting people and ignoring it, or just ignorant to it?  Why are you not focusing on this aspect? What was the motivation behind whatever hurt this person?  Was there a better way to handle things?

This card’s message today is about being aware of what you’re doing, and those you affect with your actions (or inaction).

DECK USED:  TRADITIONAL MANGA TAROT

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Moon Question: How can I best work with, or work around, the current vibes?

Dark Wood Tarot

Reading Summary: Stay open to new opportunities (Ace of Pentacles) and reach out and grab them by the balls when they appear to you (Chariot).  Now is not a time to stay comfortable and safe in your nest (Four of Wands Rx).

Take Away:  There’s been a good deal of warning in the cards lately about business being a bit slow this holiday season. The cards here indicate that in order to counteract that, I need to be open to the possibilities and opportunities that may arise, and jump on them immediately rather than hemming and hawing about it as I often end up doing.

DECK USED:  DARK WOOD TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Is it possible to truly experience anything objectively?

Puppet Theatre TarotReading Summary:  A king on his throne sees the world as his playground (The Emperor), a couple on a beach basking in the sun sees the world as a perfect slice of heaven (The Sun), and someone with the spark of inspiration nipping at their heels sees the world as filled with potential adventures (Knight of Wands).

Take Away: The cards here indicate that it is not possible to truly experience anything with complete objectivity. We can do our best to be objective, but our emotions, our relationships, our history, and our experiences all create a foundation for which other new experiences and perceptions are built on.  There is no such thing as a “clean slate” in humanity, as emotions flavor everything we do, even for amnesiacs.

I agree.

DECK USED:  PUPPET THEATRE TAROT

Be a Hero, Not a Villain

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IMG_6396Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and was another guided meditation with interval timer.  I’ve decided that the guided meditations definitely have a place in my meditation practice.  Although the non-guided meditations are nice, these guided ones sometimes allow me to relax a bit more fully and can assist in keeping my mind from wandering.

The also give me a little something to think about now and then.  Not that they are all gems, but there are definitely a few diamonds in the mix.

Today’s message was about choosing your battles.  There are things you can change, and things that you can’t change.  The moral of the story for today’s guided meditation was to make sure that you are choosing the battles you have a chance of winning… instead of railing uselessly against the rain.

Botan Tarot - Five of SwordsToday’s draw is is the Five of Swords, which is a representation of tests, trials, and conflict in the area of one’s mind, intellect, and communication. This often comes into play in the form of disagreements, arguments, misunderstandings, and debates.

What stands out to me in this card today is the look on that pheasant’s face.  I mean I know that pheasants can’t really show expressions but he sure is looking pretty damned cocky, yeah?  Cocky to the extend that it actually appears a bit snide to me.

That’s the thing about winning tho, right?  Sometimes when you win? It’s hard not to look back with that snide moment of triumph. It can be hard not to kick’em when they’re down.

The message here is that when that opportunity arises?  Rise above it. You’re better than that.

DECK USED:  BOTAN TAROT

#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
Question: What’s one of my super powers?

English Magic Tarot

Reading Summary: Learning what makes people tick and how to motivate them (Page of Swords) helps me build on my emotional knowledge (Page of Cups) and grow into a better person (Queen of Cups)… Even if that growth is somewhat slow in the making (Page of Coins into King of Cups).

Take Away:  Although emotions are not my strong suit, my ability to reason through people’s reactions is. Using this ability in a way allows me an entry point into understanding both my own emotions as well as other’s… which in turn assists me in my own growth.

DECK USED:  ENGLISH MAGIC TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: The Problem / The Lesson to Learn / Advice to Help You Through

Art Nouveau Tarot c 1989The Problem – Eight of Cups – Giving up too quickly or feeling the desire to walk away too easily and too soon. This is bred from my need to step aside when I become irritated or frustrated. Especially in the area of people.

The Lesson to Learn – The Fool Rx – Grow up.  It can’t always be about you and what you want.  Sometimes you have to do shit just because it’s the responsible thing to do, whether you like it or not.

Advice to Help You Through – Ten of Cups – It’s important to remember just how ‘well off’ you are in your own life and appreciate that.  It gives you the luxury to behave in the ways written above without a lot of consequence, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a consequence on the other side of the table where a person’s cup is perhaps not as full as your own.

Take Away – I need to be more patient and understanding of others.  Not everyone can motivate as quickly as I can, or think as fast as I can, or come up with the right words as quickly as I can.  Instead of getting impatient and cranky, I need to make sure I’m practicing patience and understanding, and keep in mind that not everyone is as fortunate as I am.

DECK USED:  ART NOUVEAU TAROT c.1989

Lionharts #AstroTarotChallenge
Question: How am I asked to deal with areas in my life that currently feel like too much of a grind?

20th Century Tarot

Reading Summary: Suck it up buttercup (Five of Cups) and get your ass in gear (Eight of Wands). Just make sure you’re practicing moderation (Temperance) and making good decisions (Two of Swords).

Take Away: The thing is?  Whether it feels like a grind or not?  You can’t put off and avoid these things forever.  They’re a part of life and sooner or later you have to suck it up and do them.  That’s just a part of being an adult.   So is making sure that when you do them, you don’t overdo it and send yourself into burn out.   Making good decisions about how you work and when is  just as important as the work itself that needs to be done.

DECK USED: 20TH CENTURY TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What can I do about the fear of being wrong?

Lonely Dreamer Tarot

Reading Summary:  Explore more (Page of Wands) and accept that sometimes it’s going to happen (Five of Pentacles).  Learn from it (Knight of Swords).

Take Away:  You need to use these as opportunities to further your education and knowledge instead of hurdles in your way.  Being wrong can suck and feel really bad, but that doesn’t mean it’s something to fear or avoid.  Instead it’s an opportunity for growth, as long as you’re willing to take it that way.

DECK USED:  LONELY DREAMER TAROT

Honor Over Impulse

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IMG_6356Today’s meditation was eleven minutes long and was another guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis stretching. The topic of today’s guided meditation was dealing with feelings of overwhelm.

Specifically, the meditation spoke on how when we become overwhelmed, it is often because we are trying to take on too much at once.  In truth though, a project or any topic of overwhelm is so overwhelming because it is so big.  To solve this problem, we need to remember to break these huge projects and responsibilities down into bite sized pieces.

Like when you clean a house… you look at the house as a whole and it looks overwhelming and like so much work.  Too much work.  Instead, we need to look at the cleaning of a house as a bunch of little tasks.  Dust one piece of furniture.  Wipe down one counter.  

In breaking down these big projects, we then can see them as small things we can manage to do.  And if we focus on one small thing at a time, pretty soon that huge pile of crap to get done is  whittled down to nothing.

Hush Tarot - Five of SwordsToday’s draw is the Five of Swords, which traditionally is a representation of tests, trials, and conflict in the area of one’s thoughts, logic, intellect, and communication. This type of conflict often comes across as disagreements and competition, but what I find this card often indicates that is not so common of an interpretation is the “winning at all costs” attitude that this card can often convey, as well as being a reflection of “the spoils of war”.

Probably not surprisingly, what stood out to me in the imagery of this card is the plants. The flower in the background looks a lot like a clover bud, and yet the greenery beneath looks like dandelion leaves.

One of the lesser known representations of the white clover is revenge.  This combined with the dandelion, which commonly represents standing strong and overcoming hardships, gives me the impression that in this case the battle has already been fought, and what we are witnessing in the card’s imagery is the aftermath.

The card here today is a reminder that the honor of standing tall is more important than the temporary satisfaction of retaliation.  Sometimes (and I admit that this very well could be due to my Scorpio moon) I have this overwhelming urge to lash back at those that piss me off or irritate me.  The card here today is an encouragement to rise above these urges.

DECK USED:  HUSH TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How do I grow from my mistakes?

Tarot of Reincarnation

Reading Summary: Open your eyes and pay attention (Eight of Spades) so that you can see your mistakes (Ace of Diamonds Rx) as opportunities to grow (Jack of Diamonds).

Take Away:  This is about carrying forward the knowledge gained during my mistakes so that I don’t repeat them and can course-correct before mistakes become catastrophic. By learning to identifying mistakes early or by taking the lessons that come from them when you can’t course correct in time, I am then able to turn those mistakes into something of value instead of just another fuckup.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF REINCARNATION

Remnants and Potential

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Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and I finally managed to actually get in a meditation uninterrupted.  Well, other than by Miss Luna coming to join me. I don’t consider that an interruption, though.

Tarot of the SidheToday’s draw is the Dreamer Five (Five of Swords) which is traditionally an interpretation of the dynamic between triumph and defeat.  That is to say, that it can at times represent triumph over adversity and taking the “spoils of war” for oneself, but can just as easily represent being on the other end of that battle and its results.

What stands out to me in this card is something that I’ve noticed in a number of the cards in this deck in the past.  That is to say, that the interpretations in the key words and in the imagery depicts a more “reversed” interpretation of some of the cards.

Here in this image, a Fae cuts off its own wings, which trail from his fist while they still hold the bloody knife in the other hand.  They have lost whatever battle against themselves was raging within them, and sacrificed their wings in the depths of their defeat.

Today’s card is a reminder not to “throw the baby out with the bathwater”.   Yes, sometimes shit happens.  Sometimes it feels like it’s time to give up, or like you’ve reached the end of your rope.  But don’t just blindly accept that everything is lost without actually taking score and really paying attention to what is left… and the potential that lies beyond that moment.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SIDHE

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m plagued by anxiety.
Question: How can I heal my relationship with anxiety?

Tarot of the Dream Enchantress

Reading Summary:  Be mindful of when anxiety is stealing away my time (Seven of Swords and lean on my inner strengths (Strength) and those things that need to be done to bypass the anxiety reaction and leave it in the dust (Eight of Wands).

Side Note:  I forgot how much I love this deck. I really need to pull it out more often.

Take Away:  This is about awareness and distraction.  It’s important to stay in touch with my anxiety levels and be aware of when they spike. Then, use distraction tactics combined with my ability to “stand strong in the storm” to get myself through those anxiety moments and out the other side unscathed.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE DREAM ENCHANTRESS

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Write something free form inspired by the cards.

Sacred Rose TarotThere was once a husband that was positive being single would be better than being married (Two of Swords) and insisted on taking a break from his marriage (Four of Swords).  His friends praised this decision and gave him many pats on the back for having claimed his independence (Six of Wands), and for a while he was very happy and had a lot of fun (The Sun).

Soon, that fun wasn’t enough, though, and he wanted more. He upped the stakes on those things he enjoyed again and again, each time he became bored, he sought out even better experiences and more enjoyment than he had before. (The Devil)

Reckoning came when he ended up losing everything (The Wheel of Fortune).  The rose colored glasses were ripped from his eyes and he saw what a mess he’d made.  He realized he was chasing a dream, and was fortunate to be wise enough to learn from his mistakes instead of repeating them (The Hierophant).

He reached out to his estranged wife and apologized, offering not just his apologies but sincere words about how very much she means to him and how much life sucked without her (Six of Pentacles).  Although they agreed that he had a lot to make up for, in the end she decided to take him back and he happily slipped back into the role of being king of the castle once more (King of Pentacles).

DECK USED:  SACRED ROSE TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot#ElementalChallenge
Question: In what way can the element of Water help me right now?

Encore Tarot

Reading Summary: Allowing my heart and my intuition to have a say in decisions (Seven of Cups) concerning where to be generous with my resources (Six of Coins) and with my time (Three of Cups).

Take Away:  I often feel the need to offer resources and/or time to different needy causes. When I logic my way through it, I talk my way out of it… which in one way protects my own interests, but it leaves me feeling a bit guilty, to be honest.  The cards here indicate that the elemental energies of water can help me in making good choices that produce a less guilt-ridden results.

DECK USED:  ENCORE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What do I love about my world?

Odd Hand Tarot

Reading Summary: I have someone to help guide me forward on my emotional growth and in learning how to give my emotions freedom (Knight of Cups). I’m good at what I do (Eight of Pentacles) and I know where my strengths lie (King of Swords and Strength).

Take Away:  I was a little confused at first with these cards, until I realized that the question is asking about my world… not the world.  The things in my world that make me happy and that I love include Gideon and his guiding hand in the emotional side of my life.  I love that I’m skilled at what I do and have found a way to make the things I enjoy more than just hobbies.  I also love how well set I am in knowing who I am and how I tick, what things are right for me… and how to say no to the things that aren’t.

DECK USED:  ODD HAND TAROT

Recognizing Strength

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Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and was a meditation that focused on a line of energy that runs along the spine.  It was the next installment of the ‘how to’ series I’ve been working through.

The line of energy is essentially a thin line, like a string, that runs along the spine (think spinal cord) and in this meditation, the goal was to focus upon that line and allow the glow of energy from it to expand and flow, filling you up through nerve endings and providing a sensation of calm and light within.

It was extremely relaxing without making me sleepy, and is definitely a technique I will be revisiting in the future.

Five of Axes - Tarot of the Unknown Today’s draw is the Five of Axes (Swords) which we just saw two days ago but has come to visit again.   This card is a representation of challenges, tests, and trials in the area of one’s thought processes, intellect, and communication.  This theme often presents itself as conflict and/or competition, and sometimes as a drive to win no matter the costs.

I do not feel that this is a recurrent theme from this card’s previous recent appearance.   Instead, it is a commentary upon the distress I was dealing with yesterday concerning my memory and its gaps.

In the moments where I realize just how much of my memory has fallen through the cracks, I have moments when I feel extremely helpless.  The appearance of this card is a reminder that there are many different faces to “winning”.  Some of them are obvious, others, not so much.

Although there is much in my life that has happened and left damage and scars in their wake, they also have made me stronger, and taught me how much value there is in my life, and how to appreciate the little things that make life worth living.   I learned my mortality very early, and although I work very hard in my day to day, I also make sure to pause and appreciate all that I have.   All that I have survived.   And all that I have won the right to having in my life through that survival.  Sometimes?  You have to lose something of value in order to gain something even better.

Deck Used:  Tarot of the Unknown

Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthNovember

Question: Where may I benefit from moving on / moving forward?

Herbal Healing Tarot Reading Summary:  There is strength (Strength) in knowing when to set aside (Seven of Cups) the struggle of juggling too much (Two of Pentacles) in order to focus on gripping the reigns on chaos (The Chariot).

Take Away: I spend a huge amount of my life juggling responsibilities and my creative drive, which often boils down to a balance between my outside work and my entrepreneurial endeavors.  At this time of year, my business  begins to “blow up”, and it becomes time to set aside my other outside jobs for a time so that I can focus all of my energy on the chaos of the holiday rush.   The message here is saying that the time for that shift is now.

Deck Used:  The Herbal Healing Tarot

 

The Victor’s Responsibilities

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Today’s meditation was (probably?) about fifteen minutes long, and was another self directed meditation, this time in the shower.  It was one of those in the bottom of shower watching the drops of water drip down the wall meditations, and was very soothing and a balm to my senses and my insides all at the same time.

It didn’t last until the water got cold, but I was there for a bit of time, so I’m guessing at the amount of time I actually spent in meditation.

Five of Axes - Tarot of the Unknown Today’s draw is the Five of Axes (Swords) which is a representation of tests, trials, and challenges in the area of one’s intellect, communication, and thought processes.  This often presents itself as conflict and/or competition, as well as a drive to win no matter the cost.

What stands out to me in this card today is the rope, which speaks to me of a connection between the victor and those he has defeated.  The message here is a reminder that even when you’re the winner, you need to ensure you keep in mind the fate and well being of those you have won against.   Sometimes, you need to do more than just stand tall as the victor and leave others in your wake.   Those you defeat are still people too, and as such, at the end of the battle they deserve more than just sand kicked in their eyes.

Today’s card relates really well to what is going on with one of my jobs at the moment.  I finally did talk to the owner about the shortcomings of his newest manager.  He wasn’t thrilled to hear the news, but after investigating for himself where she’s been dropping the ball and slacking off,  she ended up fired on Friday… and I ended up with a raise.  I don’t particularly feel bad for her, as she was abusive to the employees and not doing her job, but I did speak to her briefly today and offer her some leads on a couple jobs she might be better suited for.

Deck Used:  Tarot of the Unknown

Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthNovember

Question: How can I improve my relationship with confrontation?

Badger’s Forest TarotReading Summary:  Turn the other cheek (Four of Cups) rather than piling on and engaging in the conflict (Three of Pentacles), because sometimes you just have to take the high road (King of Swords) and walk away (Eight of Cups).

Take Away: Sometimes when coming in contact with confrontation, you really feel the need to defend your position and stand up against the opposing force.  But the fact is?  There are always going to be people that just refuse to listen to any view but their own, and there are going to be times when the conflict and confrontation just are not going to serve you well, even if you’re in the right.  Choose your battles wisely and remember that sometimes walking away is the best option.

Deck Used:  The Badger’s Forest Tarot