finances

Striving Toward Excellence

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Although I drew my card this morning when I woke up, I was not able to fit in my meditation until this evening, so today’s post is a little late.

Today’s meditation was 14 minutes and 47 seconds, and focused on ‘riding the waves’ of thought during meditation rather than pushing them away.

Although it was supposed to be about riding the waves of thought, though, it was really all about emotion instead. I found this unfortunate, because I rarely have all that much emotion when in meditation. My intrusive thoughts are almost always visual (as in mental images) without an emotional connotation.

So, it ended up that the guided meditation didn’t exactly hit its mark for me today. I was remarkably relaxed through it today, though.

Today’s draw is the Eight of Pentacles, which is a representation of determination, purpose, strength, and progress in the areas of the material world, resources, and money.

This is telling me that I am making progress.  I may not FEEL like I am making progress, but I am.  It also teaches that striving for perfection is not necessarily a bad thing, and that pushing forward and striving towards excellence in my goals will continue to move me forward to their completion.

I feel like this card is an encouragement to keep striving in my business, but more specifically, that it refers to my plans concerning my mortgage.

I greatly desire to be mortgage-free.  For the first time in years, I am getting back a tax return this year, and I plan on using that tax return to pay off what’s left of my line of credit (and pay for my dental surgery that’s coming up next month).

Once my line of credit that I’d accumulated during my cancer treatments is paid off, I can then start directing the money I had been putting monthly towards it into the mortgage instead.

At that point, I will be looking at just over 6.5 years until I own my place outright.  Mortgage-free.  Yes please.

Be the Lamb, Not the Lion

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Today’s meditation was fifteen minutes and eight seconds, And focused on something called the Beginners Mind.

This is the concept of looking at things through fresh eyes instead of through with preconceived notions. It’s about experiencing things as if they are new, and letting that sense of wonder at something new into your heart and mind.

I think this is something that I’ve started to forget to do. Not that I’ve forgotten how, but more that I’ve just forgotten to practice this in my life.

There was a time when I saw a lot of the world this way… but I feel that over time I’ve closed off and forgotten to experience things in this perspective. I think it’s possible that having that shift in perspective has made me a less positive person.

Perhaps it’s time to start consciously practicing Beginners Mind more regularly in an effort to make it a habit once more.

Today’s draw is the page of pentacles. The suit of Pentacles represents money, resources, and the physical plane. The Page represents an omega type of energy, personality, or person.

The page in the suit can also represent one’s focus and dedication towards something of the physical plane. For me, that is stability. Financial stability is one of my lifelong goals, no matter what tax bracket I’m in or how much money I have (or don’t have) in my pocket at any given time.

This card ties into my current worries about monetary issues and the extra spending that I did while I was in that pit of depression. It’s a reminder to be cautious when spending money for a while so that I can catch up.

The card is telling me to be the lamb. Do not be the lion, full of roar and fight and push and shove. Instead, focus on that goal of stability that I’ve built over the years of my life and accept it takes time and dedication. One small hiccup doesn’t change that in the long run.

At the same time, this card also reminds me not to be too hard on myself about those small spending that I did during that time. Stability is a long term goal. It takes patience and a long reach… not a short race.