Large and In Charge

Today’s meditation has not yet happened, as I was running a bit late this morning and I really wanted to get my drive done and over with as early as possible.   Somehow, when I meditate, even though I’m only meditating for about ten minutes?  It takes something like thirty minutes.  I’m not sure where that extra time goes, but I just couldn’t spare it this morning.    I will meditate before bed tonight, though, for sure.

The Emperor - Hush TarotToday’s draw is the Emperor card, which is traditionally a representation of authority, structure, “the establishment”, and control.

The thing is, what I saw in today’s card is… control.  And what I read from today’s card is that in order to ensure my own safety I need to be in control.   This comes through to me in the parade of little people-creatures below the hands and the bird, as well as the way that the bird spreads above them, large and in charge.

What this meant for me today was that in my trip up north and over the border, I took extra measures to project authority, and an unapproachable demeanor.  This included not just posture and the projection of energy (which is really my strong suit, to be honest), but also that I wore one of my “scary” face masks (similar to this) in order to intimidate those around me into giving me space and staying out of my way.

DECK USED:  HUSH TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question
: What can I do to prepare for the impending seasonal shift?

Les Métamorphoses du Jour Tarot

Reading Summary:  Get my ducks in a row (King of Swords) and make sure things are stable as far as resources go (Four of Coins) so that if I need to step away for a while, I can (Eight of Cups).

Take Away:  Considering the situation going on in the world in the moment, it appears that the spring is going to be a bit of a struggle resources-wise.  The cards are telling me to plan and get organized, make sure everything is as prepared and stable as I can make it…. just in case.

DECK USED:  LES METAMORPHOSES DU JOUR TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: Where am I emotionally at this time?

Fenestra Tarot

Reading Summary:  Although I’m projecting a sense of being large and in charge (The Chariot), and trying to grasp at that energy and claim it as my own (Page of Swords), I’m actually on the cusp of a shift back to my regular low-key self (Two of Swords Rx).

Take Away:  I’ve been topping in our relationship for a bit now and it’s been really comfortable for the first time in a long time. I hate how I always seem to “fizzle out” after the energy peaks between us in roleplay, though.  Now that we’ve hit that peak,  I can feel the transition shifting  back the other way, and the whispering need to hand over the reigns is returning.

It always makes me feel like a bit of a failure when we get to that pinnacle point and then on the other side of it… I can’t seem to maintain that control and dominance.  It feels like I’m failing because it makes me feel like I’m not providing the aftercare that is needed.  I’ve been told this isn’t the case again and again, and yet… that feeling remains.  It makes the transition a bit more difficult than it needs to be, I think, so I really need to find a way to get over it.

DECK USED:  FENESTRA TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question
: If I listen to my intuition more, what could I change?

Goblin Tarot (RWS Edition)

Reading Summary:  Less need for quick defensiveness (Eight of Wands) because of a more developed sense of inner strength (Strength) provides the ability to step forward as an authority and guide to others (Hierophant).

Take Away:  So when reading your intuition, it’s important to jump first and ask questions later.  Sometimes my logical brain gets in the way.  It doesn’t happen often because I have a very strong trust in my intuition, but it does happen now and then.  When it does, it’s usually because my brain has jumped so fast that I end up confused between which message is from where.

If I am more speedy about snagging that intuitive message before the brain can interject to mess things up, my strength in intuitive matters will continue to grow, which in turn will assist me in helping others in finding their own inner voice and their own path.

DECK USED:  GOBLIN TAROT (RWS EDITION)

Dropping the Dead Weight

Today’s meditation was again delayed until bed time.  This is not because of any particular interruption, so much as the fact that I ended up dozing off after visiting Simon’s live Cuppa, Catch Up & Cards this morning over on YouTube.

After waking up I decided I’d rather hop online and spend time together than “waste” time meditating and (possibly) falling back asleep a second time.   Yes, I know that meditation is not wasting time, but it sure feels like it when what I really want is to spend some time with you.

Circle of Life TarotToday’s draw is the Eight of Wands, which is most commonly a card that is interpreted as representing speed in movement and fast paced changes, and often works as an accelerator on surrounding cards when you are reading with multiple cards.

I… definitely don’t see this in the imagery of this card.  Not that I don’t see movement in the figure’s stance or that she doesn’t seem to be walking off into the sunset, but what stands out to me today has more to do with what she appears to be holding in her grip.

She appears to be carrying a head… and a weapon as well.   What I see here is that sometimes you have to walk away, not from something that you are perhaps emotionally invested in (as the Eight of Cups often represents), but away from things that you have invested time and effort and your inner spark into.   Sometimes it’s better to cut and run rather than allowing the dead weight (the rest of the body left behind) to drag you down.

I’m not sure where exactly this applies to me today, but it is excellent advice, and something I will be sure to be keeping in mind.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE OF LIFE TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question
: What would I benefit from releasing as this lunar cycle comes to a close?

Eight Coins Tarot

Reading Summary: Lack of growth (Seven of Pentacles Rx). Catastrophizing (The Tower). Hands tied (Ten of Swords).  (And…. there’s the sharp and distinct tone I’m used to getting from the Eight Coins deck.  I missed you, my old sharp-tongued friend.)

Take Away:  I’ve been really stressing out over the lack of growth factor that the issues I’ve been going through has potentially had on my business.  This includes struggling with a sense of helplessness.  As this moon’s energy decreases and the lunar cycle comes to a close, it’s time to start releasing these worries and fears, and instead start looking forward again.

DECK USED:  EIGHT COINS TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: Do Spread #2 Am I going to get to see Ms B again before the fall?

Whispering Spirits Tarot

Reading Summary: One creature isn’t moving very fast (King of Coins), and the other ones looking away (Seven of Coins) from the possibility of a gathering (Three of Cups).  The color variations progress on the ground from spring (Card 1) to summer (card 2) to early fall (Card 3).

Take Away:  It could happen near the end of summer (color of the sky in the Three of Cups combined with the more autumn shade of the ground), but it’ll be a struggle to get to a point where I can take off for a few days and go visit.  I need to keep my eyes on that slowly growing prize of my goals rather than the social aspects of visiting.  It’s  possible that a visit over this time period could very well be at the detriment of my goals. 

DECK USED:  WHISPERING SPIRITS TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question
: How can I safely increase my intuitive abilities?

Fenestra Tarot

Reading Summary:  To do so at this time will involve becoming overwhelmed (Seven of Cups) and risking shutting down (High Priestess… she landed Rx but I turned her upright for the picture) as that overwhelm spreads into other aspects of my life (Five of Swords).

Take Away:  Right, so…. the cards say now is not the time and outline the consequences of trying to push it right now. 

DECK USED:  FENESTRA TAROT

Be Nice

Today’s meditation was a little over thirty minutes long, and was not a guided meditation.  Instead, I spent those fifteen minutes lying outside in the rain in the rainforest, moss and decaying vegetation under my back and water soaking through my clothes.

Feeling at home and comfortable there, I did an advanced grounding, visualizing roots reaching from where my body touched the earth and down through the moss into the soil, digging deep.

Pulling energy from the earth, I condensed that energy into my body until I was full to bursting, then allowed it to burst outward like a balloon bursting expels its air, slamming off and away from me the residual energies that had remained clinging to me after the party last night, essentially using the earth’s energy to blowtorch my own clean.

I did this process three times, then spent some time simply grounding and centering before returning home to shower and warm up and get the rest of my day started.

Three of Swords - Hush TarotToday’s draw is the Three of Swords, which is traditionally an indication of trials, struggles, and hardship in the areas of the mind, intellect, and communication.  This often communicates as despair, heartache, disappointment, and other experiences along that line.

What I see in the imagery of today’s card are the autumn leaves and the birds that, in this card, look far more predatory than sweet.  Combined with the flush of new blooms and the hornet with its nest in the lower left corner, what I see here speaks of caution.

After the party last night, I felt drained and struggling.  Today’s card is a reminder to take care of myself, and to be aware that you might be a bit sensitive today and make a bit of an allowance for that while being self aware and watching for signs of that bleeding out in ugly ways.

The positive here is the encouragement towards self awareness and self care.

DECK USED:  HUSH TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question
: How can I navigate through challenges that may give root to overwhelm and burnout as spring approaches? (Built off yesterday’s cards.)

Fenestra Tarot

Reading Summary:  As previous reads have indicated, I need to focus on my work and my strengths (Eight of Pentacles), while taking care to practice patience with myself (Temperance) and making room for self care and growth away from the struggles and fog of the winter months (Three of Swords).

Take Away:  Diligence towards my work and business is important, but I need to make sure to keep myself from being a slave driver and ignoring the healing process that is currently ongoing.  That process is going to take time and I need to allow it to happen without pushing and prodding at myself like I am used to doing.

DECK USED:  FENESTRA TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question
: Where am I at mentally at this time?

Darisa Tarot

Reading Summary:  I am focusing on looking for a way forward (Two of Wands) and searching for a new helper is at the top of my mind (Three of Ground).  I’m also very much focused on you today (Two of Water and Lovers).

Take Away:  Aside from the earth, one of the best and easiest ways for me to find center is to spend time with you.  I’ve needed that centering influence all day today, and so it’s not surprising that you would come up concerning where I am mentally at the moment.   The first two cards are an indication of needing to get something done that I’ve been putting off, which I will make sure gets done today.

DECK USED:  DARISA TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question
: When am I intuitively confident?

Luna Sol Tarot

Reading Summary: First very clear thought was a commentary…”Look at that sword, buddy. Don’t you think it’s a little bit too much for you?”

When I take my time considering my options rather than jumping ahead without enough preparation. One of my greatest intuitive strengths is in looking ahead.

Take Away:  My intuition works better in predictive pursuits rather than in dealing with in the moment choices and ideas that need contemplation or exploration.

DECK USED:  LUNA SOL TAROT