Feelings

Reassuring Stability

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Today’s meditation was not guided or timed, and incorporated deep beating exercises with a mindful focus on the breath.

Today’s draw is the King of Pentacles, which represents a solid, fatherly energy, personality, or person in the area of money, resources, and the physical world.

Although the King of Pentacles is a strong alpha energy, it is the kind of energy that provides comfort and stability.

The King of Pentacles came to me this morning to reassure me. I go into surgery today, which is a bit stressful. His appearance is here today to tell me everything is going to be okay.

Don’t Get Sucked Into the Whirlpool

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and fourteen seconds, and focused on the environment, and how we can care for the environment by focusing on the now and what we do in the present in order to foster a better future.

Oh look! It’s me. It’s funny because the original Rider/Waite/Smith artwork for this card has a woman sitting up in bed with the nine swords stacked on the wall, but her face is resting in her hands. The depiction in the deck, on the other hand, is a woman holding her head in her hands like she has a headache. And, that is exactly how I woke up this morning.

The Nine of Swords Is a representation of fruition and consequences In the area of the thoughts, communication, instinct, and logic.

I believe this ties into The Moon card from yesterday, and this cards aspect of consequences, as the Nine of Swords often indicates that you are letting your worries and anxieties get the best of you and cloud your judgment.

Yesterday’s card (The Moon) warned about taking action without seeing the full picture. Here today we have the Nine of Swords indicating that I don’t have the full picture, as well as pointing out to me that I am stressing out and worrying… and that as a result, I am creating a sense within myself of being overwhelmed.

This card message is to remind me that I need to take a breath. I need to sit back and separate my worries from the facts, and move forward only once I have the correct research in place.

Never having had high cholesterol before, this is a dietary issue I’ve never had to deal with. This means that I have quite a bit of research to accomplish in order to get back on the right track. With my surgery coming up tomorrow and my orders due to go out on Friday, this doesn’t leave me a lot of room for other interests and distractions.

The Nine of Swords is telling me that instead of sitting in my mind and stewing about what’s going on with my health, I should just move forward with the best, most healthy decisions I know of at the moment, and then deal with the research once the next couple of stressful days have passed.

Lifting the Veil

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Today’s meditation was 10 minutes and 34 seconds, and focused on the positive aspects of humility over ego, focusing on how one can enrich their lives by being grateful rather than with a mentality of entitlement.

I find this type of guided meditation not to be a focus for the day, so much as a “touchstone” of sorts. Something to view and absorb, agree with or contemplate, and in doing so these topics because a part of you. I like that.

Today’s draw is the Ten of Cups, which is a representation of endings and transcendence (and occasionally excess) in the areas of emotions, creativity, relationships, and imagination.

This card’s appearance today is a reminder to be grateful for what you have. This is not necessarily something that is difficult for me to do, but what IS difficult is to realize today’s contentment, and in the process allowing myself to let go of that iron grip I have on pushing forward. It is as if with the drive to push, push, push onward and forward towards my goals, a veil drops over the present, hiding it from my view.

That is the message from the Ten of Cups in today’s draw. It’s okay to push ahead, but not so hard that you miss the things in your life right now that make you content and happy.

Lift the veil that ambition and drive use to obscure the present and be grateful for the road you’ve trod, and the lessons you’ve learned. Carry that knowledge forward with you, along with the contentment and pleasure you have within the present moment.

A House On The Beach

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Today’s meditation was sixteen minutes and twenty-eight seconds, and focused on impermanence.

Impermanence is the thing that I focus on when I am in depression. It is my reminder that everything changes and that my depression is not forever but will also come to an end. This is also useful during moments of anxiety and stress.

Sometimes we clIng to the idea that something will last forever, or we struggle with changes as they come into in our lives.

But, the truth is that everything changes. Sometimes things change because they have a beginning, middle, and an end. Sometimes they change because they’re a part of a cycle. It’s part of life.

Today’s draw is the Queen of Cups, which is a representation of a mothering alpha energy, personality , or person in the areas of emotions, creativity, and relationships.

It appears that the Queen of Cups likes to visit me quite often during these Daily Focus draws. Her presence is always welcome of course, as the lesson she’s trying to teach me is one that I struggle with.

That lesson is to feel your feelings. Listen to them instead of pushing them aside, and be kind to yourself when it comes to your emotions.

Unlike instinct, which she also can represent, emotions are a difficult thing for me to focus on and use as a guide. I have always felt that emotions are unpredictable, whereas as I perceive logic as more solid. I have trouble understanding why one would build a house on top of sand, rather than upon stone.

Maybe that’s part of the point she’s trying to make, though. Perhaps she is trying telling me that even if you don’t build your house on the sand, make sure that when you’re inside that house on the stones, you still look out the window at the beach and go out now and then to feel the sand between your toes.

And there it is…

The Queen of Cups is trying to tell me that it’s okay to feel my feelings, and that I can still be strong while listening to my emotions.

Calm Within the Storm

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Today’s meditation was seventeen minutes and five seconds, and focused on confronting one’s feelings instead of running from them.

The method involves recognizing and naming your feeling of the moment, then “leaning in” to observe without thought or judgement (which I found quite difficult, actually).

Usually I wouldn’t have had that much to work with for this, but my immediate and uncomfortable fraction to today’s draw left me with plenty.

Today’s draw was the Four of Cups, and the card brought up a good amount of ugliness in my emotions today.   It did communicate a message, and bring up something that I really need to deal with, which is (I reluctantly admit) a good thing.

BUT, the point of the Daily Focus activity on this blog is to find a positive daily focus.   My reaction to the Four of Cups was too intense to find that positivity in it, so I’ve switched it up and am using an affirmation instead for today.

This quote by Sri Ravi Shankar is about meditation.  But, I believe it can be extended into daily life.   It’s important to remember that even when there is chaos, whether the chaos is internal or external, that a sliver of peace and calm can be found just by taking a moment and reaching for it.

After the draw today and my reaction to it, this is a good reminder for me that I need to reach for that peace and seek out that moment of serenity.  I need to take a breath, and let the stillness and quiet wash over me.

In the hours between my draw of the Four of Cups and my meditation, I’ve found a better, less anxiety ridden, place within myself by focusing on the quote. It seems to be just the guidance that I needed today.

On My Feet

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Today’s meditation was fourteen minutes and four seconds, and focused on using external cues as reminders to come back to center in your practice.

For the meditation, they used a chime. Each time the chime went off it was a reminder to bring your mind back to the breath and the relaxation of your body.

This actually worked really well for me. I realize that my mind wanders even more than I had thought it did. The audible cue helped me in catching myself in those thoughts and set them aside more quickly.

Today’s draw is the 13th card in the Major Arcana, the Death card. Although it can, this card rarely represents the death of a person or pet. Instead, it’s more common representation is that of change, as is the case for a number of cards in the tarot.

With the Death card, it’s about an organic change… the kind of change that comes on gradually and has now reached its end. Not only is it about that change specially, but also about the cleansing that accompanies such endings.

This card is telling me that my depression has come to an end. It’s been a long road and a hard climb to get out of that pit I’d fallen into… but I believe I’m there.

I feel this climb coming to an end is especially remarkable considering that I’ve been visiting at my mothers house for the past few days. The house is not usually conducive to positivity and healing where I am concerned.

And yet here I am. Standing outside the pit, with a little niggle of anxiety in my gut, but otherwise back on my feet. That hole in the ground that I fell into and the darkness that tangled me up is now behind me.

It’s time to move forward.