Transitioning from February to March

Existential Tarot and The Lantern Oracle

Individuality Action 5 atop Emotion 5, Accountability – “We are not our mistakes, but what we do with them.” Those words ring loud and strong from the guide for the Lantern Oracle when looking at these cards, which speak of perceived mistakes and regret. These perceived mistakes trigger scarcity issues, and thus the scarcity issues create regret and the cycle continues. Accountability is the answer to these issues. By owning your mistakes, you learn from them, grow from them, and move forward. At this time, there lies an opportunity for this type of growth.

Dependence The Dionysian and Trusting Tricksters – The energy of creativity can often be wild and chaotic.  Don’t let it romance you away into distraction.  You don’t have to leave your creative energy behind as you step into your responsibilities, you just have to keep your eyes open and your feet firmly on the ground.

Creativity Reason 1 and Radical Self-Acceptance – “Decisions are the first step toward breaking barriers that impede our success.” Echoing back to the first position in this reading, what needs concentrating to create in your life at this time is the depth of the roots within self-acceptance and self-respect. Don’t allow yourself to focus on regrets and perceived mistakes. Instead, focus on that forward motion and making progress.

Limitation Will 4 and Melting Mask – What has the ability to hold me back in at this time is becoming too complacent. Don’t get too comfortable and allow stagnancy to slip in and make itself at home.  If you allow complacency and stagnancy to slip in and get comfortable, you will slide back into the fog that hides who you truly are and all those positive qualities that you are trying to foster and grow.

Change Action 7 and Radical Curiosity – What is currently fostering your way forward and paving the way to where you want to go is your efforts to allow yourself to grow at your own pace.  The enjoyment you take in delving into the things that interest you and learning new things can only further this journey.  Just remember that growth takes time… you may be able to learn quickly and pick up new talents at the drop of the hat, but that doesn’t mean you can grow at the same pace.

Sympathy Zarathustra and Key to Intimacy – In my past it took time to discover what love is… and what it is not.  It took time to understand that different people show their love in different ways, and sometimes, those ways are not “in tune” with how others are able to receive love.  This is a lesson that goes beyond love, but with how people relate and how they work together.  Some people are in tune from the start, others simply are not.  Some can become in-tune over time… others, just never will find that sync with each other.  Just because you cannot sync up and be in tune with someone doesn’t make them a bad person… just not one of “your” persons.

Luck Emotion 10 and Sharing – Take time to examine how you see the act of sharing.  How you perceive giving and receiving, and how this practice can create harmony with others no matter which side of the exchange that you are on.  When true sharing happens, it is no longer “give and receive” and there is no “yours” and “mine…. there is simply “ours”.

Power Action 1 and Misalignment – In the area of your finances and business, you may be tempted to act in opposition to your moral compass in the coming weeks. Be sure that you are watching out for this urge and willing to fully examine why you are tempted by the uncharacteristic leanings.  You have a chance to turn this around and stay true to yourself… so don’t miss the bus when it comes rolling by.

Responsibility Knight of Emotion and Repair – Everyone fucks up now and then in pursuit of the things we feel we really want. Should you fuck up, remember the advice in the first position of this reading… own your fuck ups and allow them to teach you a better path. Only through owning what you’ve done and look to accept and deal with the repercussions can you grow and become stronger in response to the experience.

Message from Spirit World –  A renewed path is laid out before you, one filled with the pursuit of the things you truly want over a long period of time.  Be sure in pursuit of these desires you don’t allow curiosity and inspiration to trip you up and send you into a cycle of reparation, though.

Message from Mind’s World – You may not be feeling all that inspired yet and your creativity isn’t at it’s best.  You have ideas, though… and that’s the first step. Be sure to keep those ideas close to the vest for now because it may not be wise to share them with others, write them down to remember for later when you can judge their true value for yourself instead of having to depend on others to tell you if they’re good or not.

Message from Known World – Time alone is all well and good, but stewing in it for too long isn’t healthy so make sure you take short and healthy moments of alone time before then connecting back up with your circle of loved ones. Your loved ones know the true you, they understand you and how your love works… and you understand them and how their love works.  This harmony should be acknowledged more and valued.

Take Away – You’re wandering into  a few challenges to your moral compass and need to make sure you’re staying grounded in who you are and what you value instead of going after what you want without full contemplation of the connotations and motivations behind why you are even considering going astray.  Be yourself and be honest to yourself.  Be inquisitive. Lean into moving forward on your journey towards the light and a healthy mental state rather than flitting off after one distraction or another.  Own your fuck ups.  This isn’t usually a problem for you, but no matter who it is, sometimes pride is a hard thing to choke down.

DECKS USED: EXISTENTIAL TAROT AND THE LANTERN ORACLE

Allowing for Kindness

Today’s meditation was skipped.  The reason for this was because I laid down to do it and ended up distracted by a cuddly Luna.  I felt so good and refreshed with Miss Luna’s cuddles that I didn’t really feel the need to meditate (and I was getting a bit cold) so I decided to skip.  Not an excuse, but there’s how it went.

Kei Tarot Love and Thera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Ten of Cups, which is a representation of emotional contentment shared with others in your circle.  Where the Nine of Cups deals with attaining that comfort and satisfaction, in the Ten of Cups we then “share the wealth” of those emotions with others.

You know, it’s funny.  Sometimes I love this deck.  Then other times I can’t seem to connect with the artwork at all. I haven’t figured out exactly why that is.

What I see in this imagery today is a field of snow, a rainbow, and a hint of green grass in the distance.  What I see here is a warming.  A thawing of the cold to something softer and warmer.

When combined with the Thera-Pets card for today, what I see here is an encouragement to be nicer to yourself, to warm to yourself and silence that inner voice that wants to hold you back and bring you down.

I personally do not call myself garbage… but I do often treat myself like garbage. I know it’s wrong, and I know that it is within my personal control to change this behavior.  I also understand (as hinted at by the Ten of Cups) that I can more successfully address this issue if I enlist the help of others in my circle that love and care about me.

DECK USED:  KEI TAROT LOVE AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT CARDS

LionHart’s Mercury Retrograde Tarot Challenge Prompt
Topic: I now give closure to this month and I thank you (ancestors and guides) for your guidance.
Question: What is their response?

Existential Tarot

 Reading Summary: Keep going (New Dawn). Don’t look back (imagery in Reason 7). Take your time reconnecting with yourself and the world (Throwness). 

Take Away: February has been all about my trek through the dark landscape of my depression from the slide down into the pit and visit to the very bottom, to the climb back toward the ledge.  Although I have not reached solid ground again yet, I can feel myself improving every day.  The advice here is to keep going and allow myself to recover at my own pace instead of looking back and possibly allowing that glance back to drag me down, or pushing too hard and being impatient.  They are saying that I’m headed in the right direction and everything will happen in its own time.

DECK USED:  EXISTENTIAL TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsFeb2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic
:  Do Spread 2
Question: What attitude and outlook should I embrace as I move into the week ahead?

Kei Tarot LoveWhat attitude should I embrace as I move into the week ahead?
Two of Wands and Page of Pentacles

Make plans and learn what you need to know in order to move forward.  As the Self Care Saturday reading that I did this weekend has already indicated, this week is about reconnaissance and planning. Make the calls that need to be made, take copious amounts of notes, and then strategize your way forward into what needs to be done.

What outlook should I embrace as I move into the week ahead?
King of Swords and Three of Cups

Take charge, but allow for others to some influence. They have the ability to keep you uplifted, even as you begin to carry responsibility again.  Your time off was restorative and  you’re ready to slide back into that mindset of “large and in charge”.  Just don’t let it swallow you whole and, in doing so, stunt your climb back out of depressions pit and into the light.  Let your loved ones help in lifting you up.

DECK USED:  KEI TAROT LOVE

Daily Self Kindness

I took an ibuprofen, which ostensibly could have been for my foot, but was actually for my left thumb, which is feeling very sore and achy for some reason.

Keep Climbing

IMG_9387Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and was a guided meditation from the Calm app with added interval timer for my piriformis stretches (which I did actually do today).

The focus of today’s meditation was about resistance to change and how when we stop fighting against the inevitable, it is no longer a battle at all but rather things begin to go more smoothly as a result.   This is something I’ve been thinking a lot about recently.   Mostly about how everyone says that they hate change (myself included) and yet change happens around us every day all the time and we don’t even notice it.  We just adapt and keep on keeping on, yeah?  It’s only when the change is something we object to that we struggle with it.  So what would happen if we stopped fighting these changes that we don’t want to happen or dread, and just let them flow over us as we do all the other changes we experience from day to day.  Would we adapt more easily?  Perhaps we would find the adjustment not quite as horrible as we might have imagined.

Existential Tarot and Tera-Pets Emotional Support Animal CardsToday’s draw is the Reason 7 card (Seven of Swords), which is traditionally a representation of cunning, stealth, and even betrayal.  It can also often be about strategy, and making sure that you only take with you (or take on) only that which you are able to handle.

What stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is the slump of shoulders as the forefront figure looks back at the one in the distance.   There is a sense of defeat in that slump of shoulders and angle of the head.  A sense of surrender that isn’t about having lost a battle but is instead about carrying an unwelcome weight.

When combined with today’s Thera-Pets card, what I see is an encouragement to not give in.  To keep climbing, keep striving… keep reaching for the light.  When the temptation to yield to the darkness comes, it is time to remember that there is light ahead.  I only need to keep climbing, and I will eventually get there.

DECK USED: EXISTENTIAL TAROT AND THERA-PETS EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL CARDS

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What makes me emotionally vulnerable?

Silhouette Tarot

Reading Summary:  When I am feeling my way forward instead of walking with steady steps. When I am exploring a new aspect of my connection to the world around me. When I am confronted with and exploring the avenues of new emotional growth.

Take Away:  This is all about growth and newness, especially in relationship to my emotional growth and how that influences my communication with others and how I see, relate, and connect with the world around me. The sense of uncertainty during these times leaves me feeling especially vulnerable.

DECK USED:  SILHOUETTES TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsFeb2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic
:  Do Spread 3

Existential TarotWhich one card do you feel sums you up best?
The Orphan / The Hanged Man

Each and every experience in life is a moment to pause and learn from.  A moment to find new meaning, new perspective, and new purpose.  I identify most strongly with the hanged man, because my life has been lesson after lesson, and it is within that pause to find sense and perspective where I find myself again and again.  Learning, adapting, growing with each experience, no matter what those experiences might be.

Which one card do you feel represents your strengths?
Sisyphus / The Hierophant

I greatly enjoy teaching others, helping them in finding the path through life that is right for them.  I love helping educate on those things I understand or have experience in, in the hopes that by doing so and sharing these things, that others will find something that they are inspired to explore as well, or that resonates with them and helps them to find a better path, a better way, or a new perspective that works better for them.

Which one card do you feel represents your limitations?
Reason 9 / Nine of Swords

My mental health.  Out of all my limitations, it is my mental healthy that is, in my opinion, my greatest.  It causes me to “check out” from the world and from my support system, whether I want to or not. It creates setbacks and backsliding of progress on my growth, creates problems with moving forward and accomplishing goals.  It steals time from me… days and weeks, sometimes in the past whole months and more, that simply disappear… where no memory exists.  I am familiar with my mental health limitations, and yet there is only so much I can do to mitigate the influence.

What kind of issues do you feel that you need to work on?
Action 2 / Two of Pentacles

Finding a healthy and workable balance between work and home, between responsibility and self-care. For so long I have abused myself, forcing myself into working more hours than most can even imagine and sleep less than most can handle.  I’ve pushed for more from myself again and again, even when I was already doing so much.  Now, after a lifetime of doing this, I find myself struggling to find just what a healthy balance looks like and that journey, along with the healing and building of new methods and habits, is taking time.

What message do you want to convey to everyone?
Metamorphosis / Strength

You are stronger than you think you are.  The core of inner strength within you is so much stronger than you can imagine.  A survivor filled with strength resides within you and will support you when you need it most. You will not break. Do not give up.  Do not give in.  

DECK USED:  EXISTENTIAL TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I spent the day in play with Gideon… and it was fucking glorious.

Write It Down

IMG_9197Today’s meditation was just over thirteen minutes long and was a guided meditation with added interval timer for my piriformis stretching.  I’ve also added back in some of the forearm flexor stretches because things have been feeling like they’re tightening up there.

The focus of today’s meditation was about dealing with conflict, and I learned something new in the middle of it all.  I did not know that, after the adrenaline inducing incident has ended, it takes the body at least 20 minutes to purge that adrenaline back out of your system.

Anyway.  The conflict resolution thing was mostly about how sometimes it’s better to keep your mouth shut and walk away, calm down, then come back in a more calm and rational mindset…. rather than speaking in the moment and saying something you will regret.   It included a quote that I enjoyed within the guidance that said, “Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret,” by from Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce.

Fifth Spirit Tarot - Ace of SwordsToday’s draw is the Ace of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of the new seeds of ideas, intellectual interests, and communication.

What stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is the feathers.  Thoughts, in my opinion, are a lot of times much like feathers.  Float around you and flit through the air but are impossible to catch while in motion.

That’s why it’s important when pertinent thoughts, new ideas, etc come up that you write them down.  Write. Them. DOWN. For fuck sake write them down.

You  know… capture the feathers before the winds of distraction blow them away.

Sometime in the past couple of months I stopped this practice, and today’s card is a reminder of the value of writing these new thoughts, ideas, and valuable new perspectives down so that I can visit them a bit later and explore them more in depth.

DECK USED:  FIFTH SPIRIT TAROT

The Radical Love Tarot Challenge Prompt
Topic
:  Love language
Question: How can I better be open to and absorb love and kindness from others?

Existential Tarot

Reading Summary: Stop allowing your stubbornness and insistence that you can do everything yourself (Will 10) to slow down your acceptance and growth (Page of Action). It’s making you fight an unnecessary battle that belongs to your father and his judgments (Seven of Wands Rx).

Take Away: I was taught that it was not okay to lean on others and should be able to handle all of my responsibilities on my own, no matter what.  This was drilled into me throughout my life growing up and something I then repeatedly drilled into myself as an adult.   It can be hard to hand over control and allow others to help me and take over for a bit.  In order to be more receptive to love, I need to let go of that control and allow others to help me when I need it.  It’s not a weakness, no matter how deeply ingrained the lesson that it is has been taught.

DECK USED:  EXISTENTIAL TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsFeb2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic
:  Do Spread 1

Fifth Spirit TarotSigns for February – The King of Cups is an encouragement to lean into those that I depend on right now for support and comfort. This sign is about what I need and more about setting plans aside in order to recover and find my footing than executing anything in particular I might have had plans to move forward on. I suppose you could say that the action plan involved with this sign is to connect with my emotions and take this time with him and the support he gives to grow instead of falling back on old habits and closing myself off.

Signs for MarchThe World is about watching for renewal and the feeling that I am stepping out of one journey and into the next.  Although I do not want my depression to last this long, there is a good possibility the sign we see here is the major life change that comes with being free of the pit once more.  That sense of finally finding the edge and pulling myself out, and finding life on the other side ready and waiting for me.

Signs for April – The Ace of Wands is about feeling inspiration and that spark that keeps me trying new things. Right now in this moment I have absolutely none.  But, when I am not in this dark pit of depression my inspiration and creative spark are nearly constant and even quite hard to keep up with. The sign of these returning to me in April is a good one… and something to look forward to.  When the time comes, I need to make sure that I am allowing myself to explore (and, as my COTD mentioned for today, writing down the ones I don’t explore immediately so that I can explore them later).

DECK USED:  FIFTH SPIRIT TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I’m having a hard time thinking of something that I did that was nice for me today, then I remembered this morning when you told me to eat and then come nap with you.  And I did, even though there were other things I probably should have been doing, I had a really nice nap.