Efflorescent Tarot

Double, Double Toil and Trouble

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and was a guided meditation that focused on how it’s okay to be kind to yourself about missing meditation practice now and then… and how it is important to not look at your meditation practice as some kind of chore or task.

When it is looked at as a chore or task, then it becomes something you “have” to do, and something you can then more easily resent or get burned out on.  If we instead seek to see meditation as a moment of kindness to ourselves and a “break” from the world at large, then meditation becomes a reprieve and a retreat… something that we feel eager to experience each day.

I needed this advice, and I like the idea of looking at my meditation practice as a retreat and a reprieve from the everyday.

Efflorescent Tarot (Color Edition)Today’s draw is a double without a jumper, which means that both cards jumped out of the deck together as one.  The cards in today’s draw are the Nine of Swords and the Three of Swords.   Both of these cards themes deal with agonizing over different aspects, and it is that theme that I feel is the message in today’s draw.

The appearance of these cards in today’s draw is a message about being too much in my head and allowing that to take over.  The whole water issue in my building has really got me stressed out and I’m trying to stay calm about it, but especially after the collapse yesterday and the kid getting caught under the debris…. I’m just not dealing well.

Hell, I dreamed about her dying last night and me pulling her dead body out of the debris instead of a live and bawling little girl, traumatized and with broken arm, but otherwise okay.

I’m so lucky that the water didn’t really spread that far into my unit, just a bit in the kitchen, but it seems that the worry over what’s going on next door is really getting to me and I need to relax and let it go.  Everyone is okay… and it’s going to be okay.

DECK USED: THE EFFLORESCENT TAROT (COLOR EDITION)

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I manage or release those expectations and leave room for growth?

Fey TarotReading Summary:  Connect with and rely on others (Two of Cups) rather than trying to “fight this battle alone” (Seven of Wands).

Take Away:  The expectation from yesterday is that working with that new depth of emotion discovered last fall should be easy for me.  It’s not an expectation of the work, but rather an expectation of myself that I should be capable enough to deal with it without issue or problem.   It’s unrealistic, and I know that.

The cards in this read indicate that in order to release those expectations and leave room for growth, I need to accept it is not something I’m going to be able to do on my own, and I need not just be willing to ask for help… but actually do the asking instead of pushing myself to say “I’ve got this” and trying to struggle through it alone.

DECK USED:  FEY TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Do Spread #4

Golden Art Nouveau Tarot

Reading Summary:  OOPS CRAP… I did Spread #5  So I will interpret this one for today, and then do Spread #4 next week in place of the one I’m doing today.

Card 1 – Too much focus on my business and the focus upon my goals concerning stability and financial independence.

Card 2 – I need to take more time in meditation and personal reflection, so that I can connect deeper and move beyond surface and/or superficial focal points. The tarot has more to offer me than it can provide when limited to those topics.

Card 3 – I try to hard to empower my client during their reading, and that can sometimes cause the message to become diluted and thus do the opposite of what was intended.

Take Away:   When reading for myself… look deeper. Use my meditation as a tool to find those deeper threads and follow them into deeper waters of my life and psyche.  The cards are essentially saying that I’ve fallen into a bit of a rut.

When reading for others, remember that sometimes the message being conveyed needs to be blunt and/or sharp in order to really drill down into the mind of the client.  Sometimes providing explanation does not assist in empowerment, but is a detriment to it.

DECK USED:  GOLDEN ART NOUVEAU TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: What do I need for a successful year?

Lighteater's Tarot

Reading Summary: Impassioned focus upon my goals (Princess of Staves) will overcome adversity (Five of Swords) and allow me to find a more stable center for pursuit of my ambitions (King of Staves), even in times of struggle (Five of Coins).

Take Away:  The things that I want to accomplish this year are going to require going through a good deal of strife and struggle along the way.  In order to succeed and move through these issues, I need to hold tight to my exploratory spark in relation to my passions and work at keeping that spark not just lit and alive, but also stable and controlled.

DECK USED:  LIGHTEATER’S TAROT

Hermit Crabs and Tortoise Shells

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Today’s meditation was… non-existent.  I’m running on about two and a half hours of sleep at the moment, and any lying down or inactively sitting still I do is going to result in me falling asleep.  Because of that, there was no way that I could do my meditation this morning, and I couldn’t do it in the car because the weather and roads were so bad today that even when I wasn’t driving, J needed the help in keeping an eye out for issues.

I will try to meditate when I lie down for bed tonight, though.  If I fall asleep then, at least it’ll be safe and that sleep won’t be cutting into anything important.

Efflorescent Tarot (Color Edition)Today’s draw is a double without a jumper, meaning that both cards came out together from the deck.  The cards in today’s draw are the Hermit card and the Eight of Cups.

This is 100% about how I feel today.  It’s about the drop, and it’s about our issues last night, and it’s about how I feel on the inside.

I don’t want anything to do with what happened yesterday.   And after last night?  I don’t want anything to do with the drop either.  Not that the drop is ever pleasant to begin with, but… yeah.

Today’s cards have appeared to force me to confront that want to hide away and retreat, and a reminder that what we have is worth fighting for and holding onto, even when all I really want to do is retreat into my shell and hunker down in there out of sight.

DECK USED: THE EFFLORESCENT TAROT (COLOR EDITION)

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I make space for that joy this year? (From yesterday’s cards.)

Arcana Tarot by Hydra-Nix

Reading Summary:  I need to better balance my needs (Justice card) with my constant quest to know more (Page of Swords) and doing better in those things that foster my sense of security (Page of Pentacles).

Take Away:  I always prioritize the whole “learning more and doing better” thing when it comes to how I manage my time, and that includes time spent in my relationship with you.  I work hard to obtain and hold onto security and stability in my life both financially and in my home, and that is where a huge amount of my focus lies.

Expressing dominance in our relationship (which is the joy that yesterday’s reading was about) takes a significant amount of energy and effort, even when that need rises to a point it can’t be ignored.  That energy and effort over the past year has been channeled into my work and fostering that stability instead of being expressed through our relationship.

Today’s cards indicate that I need to find a better balance between those material demands (and the knowledge gathering they require) and the facet of our relationship that allows me to express those more dominant urges.

DECK USED:  THE ARCANA TAROT BY HYDRA-NIX

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What concession can you make to provide for yesterday’s inner child craving?

Forest Creatures Tarot

Reading Summary:  I need to look into and explore (Page of Swords) a better way of getting to those natural places I crave (The Chariot) rather than dispairing that I can’t reach them (Nine of Swords).   If I make some changes (Death), I’ll find myself much happier with what I have afterward (Nine of Cups).

Take Away:  Yesterday’s read was about getting out in nature more, even when it’s frigidly cold, as it is right now.   The cards in today’s reading are about finding better ways to access nature so that I can spend the time I need there to feel good and right with the world.  I need to explore alternative ways to get where I want (and need) to be.  Maybe I should look into something like a snowmobile rental or some sort of ATV use for this time of year so that I can get out to those remote spots more easily when the temperatures are so low that hiking isn’t an option.

DECK USED:  FOREST CREATURES TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: What could help my daily organization?

Lighteater's Tarot

Reading Summary:  I need to be kinder to myself (Amicka) and stop presenting the image that I have it all together (Six of Staves) when in truth I’m a bit lost in the weeds (The Moon).

Take Away:  Okay so firstly?   This deck needs to be moved over into my shadow work decks.  Because… Jesus.  Just sayin’.  But this is the second time the imagery has jerked me into some pretty intense reactions…. and the second time I have used the deck.  (I just bought it earlier this month.)  I’m going to continue to use it through the end of the month as a regular deck, but I have a feeling it’s just too hard-hitting for “everyday” use.

So, that out of the way… I am very skilled at being extremely hard on myself.  I’ve had a lifetime of practice with a spectacular teacher who was very skilled at making you feel that you aren’t good enough.   This tendency means that I often present a “everything is perfectly fine” front even when it’s not.  If I want to find a better way of organizing my daily life?  I’m going to have to let go of both that tendency to tear myself apart and the tendency to pretend everything is okay, because I need to be able to let others in to help me when i start to feel lost and overwhelmed.

DECK USED:  LIGHTEATER’S TAROT

Up And At ‘Em

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Today’s meditation was just under fifteen minutes long and was incorporated into some extra stretching during my physio/yoga time as I was quite sore this morning.  That was due to the furniture adventures yesterday, which I did while dehydrated and thus caused me to be unusually sore today.

It was relaxing, although not the norm.  Most of the focus during this time is on breathing, just as it is during regular meditation, but there is also a good amount of focus paid to body alignment and the release of muscle tension.

Four of Swords - Efflorescent Tarot (Color Edition)Today’s draw is the Four of Swords, which is a representation of reassessment, ease, stability, and shelter in the area of the mind, intellect, communication, and logic. This often presents itself with themes involving restoration, meditation, and recuperation, as well as potential stagnation.

What I see in today’s card is following along the same theme of a number of personal readings that I’ve done over the past few days.  That is to say, it deals with the stagnation that I have personally been feeling of late where I seem to be stewing in place rather than moving forward.

The card, to me, clearly communicates that in staying in one place too long, you run the risk of becoming tangled up and at risk.  Rest is only good for as long as you need it, then it can become something harmful.   This card’s appearance is further assertion (atop the recent readings) that it’s time to move forward instead of lingering in the murk and mire of indecision and hesitation.

DECK USED:  THE EFFLORESCENT TAROT (COLOR EDITION)

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: What can I do to prepare myself to accept that gift? (Build off yesterday’s cards.)

Maregician Tarot (Sleeplessness Edition)

Reading Summary: Get your ass in gear (Justice atop the Nine of Diamonds), look at where you want to go (Judgement), and enlist others to assist you in getting there (Three of Hearts).

Take Away:  This is essentially a reiteration of my Self Care Saturday reading that I did yesterday.  The cards are saying that I need to take a good look at the amount of rest and recuperation I’ve been immersed in and begin the process of moving again in the direction of my goals.  The theme of bringing others in to help me is also pretty consistent, and being repeated again here as a reminder that I need to allow others to help me instead of forcing myself to take everything on by myself.

DECK USED:  MAREGICIAN TAROT (SLEEPLESSNESS EDITION)

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Why do you take what what came up in yesterday’s prompt so seriously?

Lo Scarabeo Tarot

Reading Summary: Because I feel that it makes me stronger (Strength), and more prepared for disaster and difficulty (Nine of Swords), which gives the impression that by pushing myself harder I then manage to somehow free myself up for exploration of new inspirations and creative endeavors (Page of Wands).

Take Away:  The answers in the cards explain why, but that why is an illusion.  It’s true that it does feel that by bearing down on myself and being harsh with myself I am somehow not just increasing the quality of my work but also my productivity as a whole, freeing up time and energy to later explore what I want to do rather than what I have to do… but in truth what ends up happening is I end up exhausting myself and don’t get to use that free time earned in the way I want, because I have to use it to recover instead.

DECK USED:  THE LO SCARABEO TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: What do I need in order to create a more dependable morning routine? (Question was rephrased for clarity.)

The Textured Tarot

Reading Summary: Stop binding myself up in useless extraneous crap (Eight of Swords) so that I can have a quicker turnaround and more control concerning what gets done and when (The Chariot). I also need to work with L to coordinate better so that we aren’t tripping over each other so much (Two of Cups).

Take Away:  When L and I are trying to get ready at the same time, we have a bit of a “dance” we do where we circle around each other like satellites.   But there are times when there is absolutely no rhythm to it and we collide and bounce off each other, trip over each other and get in each other’s way.    The two of cups with it’s four faces and two of them bloody?  That is a representation of this occasional lack of rhythm and symmetry.

The other two cards indicate a need to not dawdle so much in the checking of mail and messages and other such extraneous pursuits when trying to get my ass moving in my morning routines.

DECK USED:  THE TEXTURED TAROT

Taking The First Step

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Today’s meditation was just over eleven minutes long and focused on how sometimes we fill our lives up with so much noise that we lose track of our path, and how important it is to slow down and take the time to connect with silence and stillness so that we can delve deep into our selves, our values, and our motivations.

If you don’t take the time to know yourself, then you end up missing an entire aspect of the world, and the depths of our interaction with it.   In that aspect we find perspective and understanding that isn’t available when dealing with ourselves and others on a purely surface level.

As deep as we know ourselves in our day to day, there are always inner depths yet to plunge into and explore.  Depths that can only be reached through stillness and silence and taking the time to do so.  Meditation allows for that exploration.

Wheel of Fortune - Efflorescent TarotToday’s draw is the Wheel of Fortune card of the Major Arcana, which is not just my birth card for this year but also appears to be my stalker card for the beginning of the year.

This card’s traditional meanings deal with the ups and downs of life, and with luck (both good and bad).  It can also mean a turning point as well as a resistance to change, and I’m starting to think that the stalking aspect of the card during this time of year has to do with those latter meanings rather than the former ones.

As a stalker card, it’s asking me to seek deeper meaning, and there is definitely a time of transition going on for me in a lot of areas.  There is also a sense of resistance in some ways, because I feel like I am dragging my feet on getting started on things.

The fact is that a journey can only start once you take the first step.  It can be a small step, but it has to happen.   So I feel the message of today’s card isn’t so much about the ups and downs, or even about luck.  It’s about movement, and taking that first step.

DECK USED: THE EFFLORESCENT TAROT (COLOR EDITION)

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: What can I do to prepare myself for that obstacle? (Build off yesterday’s cards.)

Jeremy Miranda Oracle Cards

Reading Summary:  The obstacle in yesterday’s read was about tripping over my own pride.

In the first card, I see a simple and stable home that blends in well with the earthy surroundings and draws focus to the window devoid of curtains.   This card indicates a need to keep one’s mind and heart open to both the view you can obtain within yourself, as well as at the world outside yourself.  Entertaining different perspectives while staying grounded and stable can sometimes be difficult, and pride is a hindrance to this goal.  By being mindful of this and fostering this multi-perspective view, it can help to then combat against the pitfalls of pride.

Within the second card, there is a comfortable if sparse room with a warm fire burning in the fireplace.  The card speaks to me of that inner self and allowing yourself to find comfort and warmth within yourself.  This comfort and warmth allows for kindness to the self.  Pride is cold and hard, and what comes from it is also cold and hard.  By allowing some space for simplicity and warmth within the soul, pride has less room to take hold and grow into a problem.

The image in the third card speaks to me of escaping cold chaos for inner warmth and inner calm.  As I mentioned before, pride is a cold emotion and is often used to cover up the turbulence of uncertainty.  Fostering inner calm gives you somewhere to go to escape that cold conflict that can encourage pride to rear its head as a defense mechanism.

Take Away:  The cards indicate that to prepare myself for the possibility of a “flare up” of pride and possibility of tripping over it, I need to stay grounded and down to earth with an open outlook while keeping things simple and remembering to foster an inner warmth and inner calm that I can touch base with when things feel uncertain.

DECK USED: JEREMY MIRANDA ORACLE CARDS

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Something that you miss more than you realize and can bring back into your life?

The Circle Inner Animal Tarot

Reading Summary:  Time spent in liminal spaces (Infinite Circle) within the deep forest (Ten of Pentacles) brings me happiness (The Sun).

Take Away:  I need to start going hiking again.   I haven’t been out into the depths of the rainforest since the first week of November. That bond with nature and lingering in the liminal spaces that reside there are refreshing to me in a way nothing else is.  I need to make the time to get back out there, which will lift up my mood and be healing to my inner spirit and inner spark.

DECK USED:  THE CIRCLE – INNER ANIMAL TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: What makes my ideal life?

Accurate AF TarotReading Summary:  Knowing that I have moved through life’s change and challenges (Death) while holding strong to the parameters of my values and personal moral compass (Judgement and Strength).  Being able to do this while exploring my creative ideas (Ace of Wands) and obtaining my goals (King of Pentacles).

Take Away:  Both exploring the spark of my creative spirit as well as obtaining my goals are very important to finding satisfaction in my life, but in order for that life to be considered “ideal”, I also need to be able to adhere to my personal values, ethics, and morals through the challenges and changes that life presents to me.

DECK USED:  ACCURATE AF TAROT

Lacking the Oomph

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Today’s meditation was fourteen minutes long, and I tried again to do the spirit guide meditation.   I think that perhaps I need to find a different guided meditation for this.  I’m not sure if it’s the guide’s voice or the background music or something else entirely, but there’s something in there that is not allowing me to relax and focus as I’d like.  Maybe there’s just too much audio stimulation going on.

The Efflorescent Tarot (Color Edition)Today’s draw is the Three of Pentacles, which often for me is a representation of collaboration, but that is not what I pick up from this card.  In fact, if I were to take the image alone and fit it into the tarot, normally I’d have fit this in as the Eight of Pentacles rather than the three.

As an intuitive read, though, I see something else entirely in this card.

I see boredom.

The message in today’s card speaks the fact that no matter how good you get at something and how beautiful the end results are, sometimes it’s still just a job.  It might be your greatest passion.  It might be your most favorite hobby of all time.  You might absolutely love your job and everything about it.   But sometimes?  It’s just a job.  Sometimes you have a period of boredom and lack of inspiration, and that’s okay.

It’s okay to feel that way.  In fact, it’s perfectly natural.  And that reassurance is what I get out of today’s card.

DECK USED:  THE EFFLORESCENT TAROT (COLOR EDITION)

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: What do my ancestors/spirit guides/the cards want me to know about 2020?

Golden Art Nouveau Tarot

Reading Summary:  There’s that King of Wands again.   Stop overburdening myself with brilliant inspiration and creative spark (Ten of Wands). New creative inspirations are great (Ace of Wands), but you need to take a more structured and grounded approach (King of Wands).

Take Away:  I’ve been getting this message from the cards a lot lately, and… clearly I’m not listening.  Or maybe I am, but I’m just not allowing it to actually absorb and sink in deep.   This is actually my very first “spirit guides” reading (for myself or for others) and… it makes me wonder if they haven’t been speaking through the cards all along actually.

DECK USED:  GOLDEN ART NOUVEAU TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do you actually deserve? (Built off yesterday’s cards.)

The Circle - Inner Animal Tarot

Reading Summary:  The Six of Swords is a repeat from yesterday’s read, indicating that I do deserve a change for the better (Six of Swords), but that it won’t come from changes to who I am or a personality/outlook adjustment.  Instead it will come from a more organic source that has been a long time coming (Death), and create a period of feeling overwhelmed and overburdened (Ten of Wands) while I move through the adjustment period.

Take Away:  Change is coming… and it sucks.  It’s going to feel heavy and like it’s too much.  It’ll be a struggle.  But, once I’ve made it through the gauntlet?  I’ll be in a better place on the other side.   I have deliberately chosen not to ask the cards -what- this upcoming change is, at least for the time being.

DECK USED:  THE CIRCLE – INNER ANIMAL TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: Three cards for guidance on a personal goal. (Rephrased for specificity.)

Jeremy Miranda Oracle Cards

Reading Summary:  Stay on track (Card 1), stay grounded while looking forward towards what I want (Card 2), and invite others along the way to help me get there (Card 3).

Take Away:  I know that to a lot of people image-only cards are difficult, but they appear so very self explanatory to me.  It’s like my brain says “do I need to flesh this out?  Because it’s so obvious” but I know it’s not.  It’s just obvious to me.

My goal for this question are centered around stability and security concerning home and finances.   The shades of blue combined with hints of water threaded throughout all three cards is a reminder to stay calm and not allow emotional disruption to influence my outlook.

The first card speaks of staying focused on my goals rather than allowing different interests and distractions to take me off track.

In the second card I see a seaweed draped rock sitting before a painting of the sea, staring at where it wants to be, representing my need to focus upon the future and my goals and stay grounded in the moment while doing so.

The third card is an invitation.  A dinner party waiting for guests to arrive.  The card is a reminder that there are others in my life happy to step in and help, all I need to do is reach out to them and invite them in.

DECK USED:  JEREMY MIRANDA ORACLE CARDS

Transitions and Changes

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Today’s meditation was just under fifteen minutes long, and I tried something new today.  As a part of my steps towards mediumship during my tarot practice, I settled in with a guided meditation concerning getting in contact with spirit guides.

This is something that many have made clear is an important step in the process, especially as a part of personal safety.    The problem?  I couldn’t focus.   I tried, but I just couldn’t do it.     I will try again another day, though.

Six of Swords - The Efflorescent TarotToday’s draw is the Six of Swords, which traditionally is a representation of transition, change, and letting go in the areas of intellect, communication, and challenges.

What I see here is sorrow.   I see the sharp and jagged teeth of the landscape behind her and the child in the boat, and the rough waters.  But she is moving away from these things.  Her face is filled with sorrow as she steers the boat upon its coarse

The appearance of the Six of Swords in today’s draw speaks of how difficult making the choice to make a change can be.  Change isn’t always something that falls in our lap or is inflicted upon us, sometimes it is a choice that requires leaving some people, places, things, or ways of thinking behind in order to move on to something better.

Today’s card is an encouragement concerning the renovations I am in the process of making to how I run my business this year.  It says… change is hard, but it will be worth it.

DECK USED:  THE EFFLORESCENT TAROT (COLORED EDITION)

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: What does my body want me to know about 2020?

The Prediction Tarot

Reading Summary:  Stop allowing (The Emperor) my emotions and need to succeed (Queen of Cups beneath Page of Staves) hold me back from (The Moon) extending self care beyond the emotions and into the physical (The Empress)

Take Away:  The cards indicate that my body wants to elevate the way in which I care for it.   I spend a lot of time rounding out my self care in the spiritual and emotional side of things, but there is an aspect that I have not been focusing on, which is the physical side of things.  This is a request for more attention to be paid to how I treat my body and what my body needs.  In other words, “get off your ass and start eating healthier and going to the gym again”.

DECK USED:  THE PREDICTION TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How have you grown over the past year?

Tarot Cats

Reading Summary:  A deeper emotional connection (Two of Cups) and a new way of looking (Ace of Swords) at my struggles (Five of Wands) of the past (Six of Cups).

Take Away:  A lot of times when “past year” reflections come about I find that I have repeated the same lessons over again, either because it didn’t stick the first time or because I just didn’t grasp it the first time around.   This year I’ve done a number of things differently, including beginning to share my spirituality with Gideon, which has brought us much closer, as well as much deeper understanding of how past events in my life (negative experiences) have influenced my life and development.

DECK USED:  TAROT CATS

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: How can I set realistic goals?

The Textured Tarot

Reading Summary:  Remember to stay stable and grounded (The Emperor) when change comes (Death) because… there’s going to be a whole lot of ups and downs and change this year (Wheel of Fortune).

Take Away:  Hello Wheel of Fortune once again.  As mentioned before, this is my birth card for the year.   The Emperor and the Death card indicate that it will be important when setting goals that I keep in mind just what kind of theme (ups and downs) this year has in store for me and create room in my plans for that possibility to manifest along the way.

DECK USED:  THE TEXTURED TAROT