#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020

Stepping Outside the Comfort Zone

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_4264Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and dealt with pain management during one’s meditation practice.

As I use meditation to assist in my pain management, the techniques that were introduced in the guided meditation today are not new to me.  It was nice to be guided through a process that I usually do on my own without guidance though.  As if, by handing over control to the guide, I was able to relax a little more into the practice than I do when I am in control of the pace and path of the meditation on my own.

The method that was focused on in today’s meditation is what I call the “adjustment and acceptance” method, which basically means that if there is pain that can be alleviated by adjusting your physical positioning or posture, then make those adjustments.

If there is pain that remains, regardless of the adjustments you make, then this is pain that you must accept and allow.  Instead of fighting against it, you take that pain as a part of life and a part of you, and find ways to process it and function through it, moving forward with it as a part of you rather than seeing it as your enemy and something to resist.

Forager's Daughter Tarot - Five of PentaclesToday’s draw is the Five of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of tests, trials, and conflict in the area of one’s finances, resources, manifestations, and the physical world.  This often translates into themes that have to do with financial struggles, scarcity issues, health problems, and isolation caused by lack of resources.

What stands out to me today in the imagery of this card is the dried and barren Rubus brambles and the leaf of these brambles that hides the dead rat’s butt.  Although the brambles still contain a few berries and leaves, they are out of the rat’s easy reach and this has created a situation where the rat has starved due to a lack of ingenuity to move forward to another location and find the food he needs.   The leaf… on the other hand, feels like a hint of cover for one’s vulnerability.

The message here is sometimes you have to move out of your comfort zone to find what you need in life.  You can’t always play it safe and have your ass covered, sometimes you have to take on that element of vulnerability and risk to better your situation.

I’m not entirely sure where this fits into my life at the moment, but I feel that the message here is a reminder to keep my eyes open for an opportunity to make life better for myself and those in my home, and to be ready to jump at the chance when it appears before me rather than second guessing due to an attachment to being in my comfort zone.

DECK USED:  FORAGER’S DAUGHTER TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I better change or accept that aspect of myself in a loving way?

Dixit Deck v2 Quest

Dixit Deck v2 QuestReading Summary: Don’t allow that inner critic to rain out the event taking place (First Card). Stay open to new possibilities (Second Card) and magical moments (Third Card).

Never forget your old way of doing things is a dapper and seductive fuck (Jumper to the Right).

Take Away:  The message here is to make sure I don’t give credence to that negative inner critic that always tries so hard to tear me down.  I’m on a journey of emotional growth at the moment, and there’s a lot of new things and new experiences coming at me as a result.

I need to remember not to give into the familiarity and seduction my inner critic’s voice possesses and reach for the possibilities and experiences this growth is offering me.

DECK USED:  DIXIT V.2 QUEST EXPANSION PACK

 

Unconventional Balance

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was actually a nice long soak in the tub.  I didn’t exactly meditate, but honestly?  The hour and a half spent in the water alone and quiet without any intrusions or interruptions was the closest I’ve gotten to alone time in ages.  So… yeah.  No meditation today, but a hella nice and relaxing time in the bath.  Even once the water got cold I was loathe to get out.

Maruco Animal Tarot - JusticeToday’s draw is the Justice card of the Major Arcana, meaning that it’s a card that deals with the vast scope of the human experience rather than any one specific aspect.   The Justice card is traditionally read as an indication of action resulting in balance, and a theme of cause and effect.

What really stands out to me in this card is the red.  Red like the crimson of blood.  Red like spring tulips and summer poppies.  The second thing that stands out to me in this card are the scales.   The combination of these things brings to mind the phrase “one’s pound of flesh” which is about something one is strictly (or legally) entitled to, but which is ruthless or inhuman to demand.

The message here is about entitlement and the dangers and pitfalls that type of mentality can present.  Everyone has moments when they feel entitled or owed in some way, but sometimes you have to look at if receiving what you think you deserve is really going to balance the scales… or just create yet another and different imbalance in the long run.

When I think of this message, I think of my mother and how much I want her to be a loving, caring, and supportive mother figure for me.  This is obviously not going to happen, and the encouragement here is that that’s okay.  I’ve found other places to receive this energy, support, and encouragement.  The scales are balanced, even if not in a conventional way.

DECK USED:  MARUCO ANIMAL TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
Question: What aspect of myself that I dislike is most in need of attention at this time?

Spiritsong Tarot

Intuitive Interpretation:  The giraffe is judging me…. the whale is diving deep… the fox is defensive.   What I see here in these cards is that the giraffe represents my self judgements concerning the whale’s deep dive, which represents my emotional exploration.  The watchful fox is tense and cautious., speaking of my worries on finding a safe and steady resting place.

Take Away:  My worry and self doubt and inner critic.  During this time of emotional delving and expanding into new depths within that experience, I am doing my best to not allow my inner critic or self doubts to screw with me and mess it up.  I don’t want to become defensive or fearful, but to remain open and let this moment of growth reach its potential.

DECK USED:  SPIRITSONG TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Butterfly Effect – Is there a cause for every event?

Mermaid TarotReading Summary: These cards display a path….  selfish attainment (Four of Pentacles) creating a lacking elsewhere (Five of Pentacles).  And yet the card at the top is discordant to this theme both in the path.. but also in the coloring and atmosphere of the artwork.

Take Away:  I was expecting that the answer would be yes, but what the cards actually indicate here is that no, not everything is created through cause and effect.   The majority of things are definitely created through the process of cause and effect, but every once in a while something wondrous and amazing slips in to mix things up.

DECK USED:  MERMAID TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge
Question: What do I need to release in my life to better incorporate what I need to learn?

Fairy Tarot by Doreen Virtue

Reading Summary: My tendency to listen with my heart to my inner critic (Queen of Summer) and retreat from others as a result (The Hermit) while my learned defense mechanism builds up inner walls (Seven of Spring).

Take Away:  My inner critic seems to be the topic of a lot of my readings lately, and they’re not wrong.  That inner critic of mine is vicious and venomous, and that venom has a way of creating setbacks to healthy growth and good balance.

DECK USED:  FAIRY TAROT BY VIRTUE AND VALENTINE

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I heal from pain and disappointment in my relationship experiences?

Mystical Creatures Tarot

Reading Summary:  Select a direction (Two of Wands) that supports your need for stability (Page of Coins) and tread that path without worry (The Fool) while your inner walls of defense are left to crumble (Seven of Swords Rx).

Take Away:  Another message about my inner critic… or rather, more about my defenses and those walls I build to try and protect myself from emotional pain and disappointment.  The cards here are indicating that those walls are ineffectual, and a better way to deal with these disappointments is to stay focused on my goals concerning the stability that I want in my life and treat those moments of pain and disappointment more like raindrops running off a raincoat.  In other words… good riddance to those that hurt and disappoint me, as they don’t foster those goals that are so important to me anyway.

DECK USED:  MYSTICAL CREATURES TAROT

 

Renewal Will Come… Eventually

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was once again interrupted.  This time by my sister yowling from the other room when she tried to do something she didn’t have the upper body strength to do alone and brought me running when she nearly crushed herself under a toppling shelf as a result.

So… once again I will be trying to do a bit of meditation before sleep tonight, once I head to bed.   I know it’s better than nothing, but I really do like doing it in the morning better.  Just sayin’.

Forager's Daughter Tarot - The Tower CardToday’s draw is the Tower card of the Major Arcana, which is traditionally a representation of sudden and often major change, usually accompanied by a good deal of chaos.

What stands out to me the strongest today in the imagery of this card is not the lightning or the damaged tree, but rather the little sprouts that are just starting to break free of the ground at the base of the tree, and the burn morels that encircle the broken up earth where the ruined tree stands.

Both of these speak to me of the renewal that comes after everything has been shaken up and burned to the ground.  The new sprouts are an indication of the growth that can be achieved by starting over, while the burn morels speak to me of the strength and adaptability of the energies of life and rejuvenation, as these specific mushrooms are mysterious even to today’s science, cropping up within the ashes of old fires from seemingly out of nowhere.

The message here in the imagery of today’s card is a message of hope. It is a reminder to open my heart to the possibilities the future will hold, rather than allowing myself to fall into pessimism, as is so easy for me to do.  We are all going through a hard time right now, struggling with the vast and varied effects that the pandemic has wrought in our lives.  This card is a reminder that things will eventually get better.

DECK USED:  FORAGER’S DAUGHTER TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge
Question: How can I better overcome these challenges that I will face?

Mystical Manga Tarot

Reading Summary:  You have all the tools at your disposal (The Magician) and share those gifts with others all the time (Nine of Cups Rx). You just have to make the choice to champion for yourself as you already do for others (Seven of Wands).

Take Away: How I treat others and the help that I give them in the variety of ways that I do so from teaching to standing up for them, advocating for them and all these other ways that I contribute to the lives of others… these things are a clear display of the tools I have on hand to me to overcome the challenges of my own inner critic.  I just have to make the choice to lean into my heart instead of the viper in your head when dealing with myself, and use those skills I share so freely with others upon myself as well.

DECK USED:  MYSTICAL MANGA TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What needs to heal from past relationships?

Cosmos Tarot and Oracle

Reading Summary: These cards speak to me of my mother not being as supportive as thought she was (Earth) and feeling betrayed by that (Perseus) because it feels like my trust was laid out like a sacrificial lamb for her to shred after my father’s passing (Ara).

Take Away:  This reading brings up a lot of really uncomfortable emotions for me.  I don’t like seeing my mother in the new light she’s shown of herself since my father’s passing, but I’ve come to the understanding that the impression I once had of her was false and it took the removal of his far more blatant abuse for me to see her more subtle lack of support and selfishness.  Discovering this really hurt me deeply… and it still hurts.

DECK USED:  COSMOS TAROT AND ORACLE

 

Keeping a Healthy Balance

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_4189Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and was focused upon listening to one’s intuition.   In the meditation, the guide encouraged finding the seat of your intuition and how it speaks to you.   Many people find that the seat of their intuition is “in their gut”.  Others find it is in a twinge at the back of their neck, or the raising of hairs on their arms.

For me, the seat of my intuition resides behind my solar plexus.  It speaks to me throughout my entire body, communicating through sensations and physical touches to my senses, and yet at its core it resides in that spot at my solar plexus.  It lives there, and when I consult my intuition, it’s there I reach.

In today’s meditation, the encouragement to find the seat of your intuition was followed by the benefits of fostering that voice and empowering it to grow by listening to it and following its guidance.  The more you follow your intuition, the more it will speak and the louder it will become.  That was essentially the lesson within today’s guided meditation which is very much the same message that I explain to my students when teaching intuitive tarot reading.

Forager's Daughter Tarot - The DevilToday’s draw is the Devil card of the Major Arcana.  This card is traditionally read as an indication of temptations, addictions, obsessions, and other themes that have to do with self-destruction through indulgence.

What stands out to me in the imagery of today’s card is the Aralia spinosa bush that sits behind the wolf.  This plant is called the “Devil’s Walking Stick” and it is very apt for the card as it is very easily to be mistaken for Elderberry. One that reaches for the berries and familiar with Elderberry might find an unpleasant surprise when the plant seems to then attack them and try to rip then to shreds with prickly thorns and spines not just on the stems but on the leaves as well. This connotation speaks to me of the need to take care, as something that might seem harmless is putting you in danger.

The tilt of the wolf’s head in the imagery is another element that stands out to me today, which appears to my perceptions to be far more watchful than ominous.  The wolf is an indication of one’s intuitive nature and deep inner knowing.   The watchful posture says that if I want to find what it is that is hiding behind an innocuous appearance in my life, I will need to use my intuition to suss it out.

The positive message here in this card is one of awareness and encouragement to reassess.    It’s time to do a bit of weeding in order to open space to breathe, and I am encouraged to use my intuition to reveal those things that are not serving me or look harmless but are potentially detrimental.  I have an addictive personality, and it’s important to stay self aware and on top of things to keep a healthy balance in my life between pleasure and responsibility.

DECK USED:  FORAGER’S DAUGHTER TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I bring more of that fulfillment into my daily life?

Cosmos Tarot and Oracle

Intuitive Interpretation:  De-tangle (Mercury) and piece together (Ara) in order to reach for your passion (Scorpius).

Okay, so the interpretations above are off the imagery alone.  I tried looking at the info in the guide book for this deck, as astrology isn’t a strong suit of mine, but although the explanations of the cards made perfect sense, they didn’t read for me that way… probably because I’m so used to reading intuitively off imagery that it’s the way the deck chose to speak to me, regardless of my intention to actually read the guide with this deck.

That said?  The guide is excellent and very interesting.  It just doesn’t apply to this reading.

Take Away:   This reading is about all of the ideas that I have concerning the classes I’m teaching on the Discord server.   I have a lot of ideas, and where at first they are tangled up in each other, what I find when I begin to write them out and untangle them is that there is enough material for not just one class, but a series of them.   So the idea unfurls (Mercury) and then they get pieced back together into a series of classes (Ara) on topics I love and love to share with others (Scorpius).  I’ve had this experience twice now, and the cards are saying that I need to have a little faith in this process instead of always worrying that I’m going to run out of ideas.

DECK USED:  COSMOS TAROT AND ORACLE

#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I better express to my loved ones how I feel about them?

Herbal TarotSarsaparilla symbolizes the ability to express your emotions to others, which combined with the Knight of Cups indicates that I shouldn’t expect my loved ones to just know how I feel and should take the time and effort to actually speak to them about how I feel.

Plantain is essentially a “decongestant” of the spirit, allowing for places where someone is feeling stuck to be eased and let go of. When combined with Justice, this speaks of providing guidance to my loved ones to assist them in finding the right path for them.

Trillium‘s symbolism lies within the “good stuff” in life that makes life worth living. The Three of Cups is combined with Trillium in this card, speaking about that “good stuff” having to do with family and friends, and spending quality time with them.

Mullein is a spiritual cleanser that allows the opening up of the lungs in order to circulate in positive energy through the breath and release negative energy on the exhale.  The combination of this herb with the Four of Swords speaks of taking time, as well, for the self in order to rest.  This rest is not about reflection, but rather about restoration and recovery.

Take Away:  I can better express to my loved ones how I feel about them by being open about my feelings and, instead of simply guiding them, spend some quality time with them enjoying their company as well.  The cards also remind me that I have a need for a certain amount of alone time and that it’s a requirement for my self care, and that I will better enjoy the time I spend with my loved ones if I tend to that need.

DECK USED:  HERBAL TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge
Question: What is the biggest challenge that I will face this month?

Tarot of the 78 Doors

Reading Summary: Financial uncertainty (King of Chalices Rx) brought about by making a long term choice (The Lovers) taking me down a path of in sharing the wealth that has the opposite effect upon my situation (Ten of Chalices Rx). My mother subsequently letting me have it for having done so (Queen of Swords).

Take Away: Thank you for the warning.  I’ll make damned sure to practice being especially miserly this month.   Honestly?  I’m way too hard on myself to want to deal with listening to my mother call me an idiot.  She has a sharp as fuck tongue and I’d rather just… not.

The opportunity to “contribute” to some cause, beneficial or otherwise, hasn’t really reared its head yet this month, but I’m going to be damn sure to keep an eye out for it.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE 78 DOORS

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What unrealistic expectations have I placed on myself?

Tarot Fauna

Reading Summary: I’m too harsh in my self judgements (Judgement) concerning bad calls/decisions/choices (Two of Feathers Rx) concerning the handling of financial matters and resources (Knight of Rocks). Ease up. You can only work with what is available to you (Temperance).

Take Away:  I think the spider in its web is a really good image for this reading, as it comes down to that tangled and sticky web of habit and constant judgement against the self, yes?  It’s something I fall into and get caught up in again and again.   The reading here is about not being so hard on myself about shit I have no control over.   Sometimes I fall into grousing over missed opportunities that weren’t really opportunities within my reach in the first place.

As a hypothetical example, say that you want to apply for a credit card with certain benefits, but you have to have a personal income of $100K to even apply, which is nowhere near your income bracket.  Then later down the road something happens and you’re kicking yourself for not having that credit card. There was no way you were ever going to get that card, even if you’d applied for it, but somehow you’re beating yourself up over not having it anyway.

The cards are essentially telling me to focus on what I can control, and let go of the rest.

DECK USED:  TAROT FAUNA

Reassessment of The Familiar

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was once again interrupted.  This time by my mother in need of technical support for both her computer, printer, and her iPad.  I managed to help her with two out of the three, so she was able to use the iPad to print what she needed.   But, I was unable to help her with the computer and she’s going to need someone to take it in for repair.  I think she needs a boot disk, and I am absolutely certain she doesn’t have one.

So… I will be including a meditation into my bedtime routine again tonight.

Maruco Animal Tarot - Page of WandsToday’s draw is the Page of Wands, which traditionally is a representation of a receptive omega energy, personality, or person in the areas of one’s drive, ambitions, passions, and innovations.  This often displays itself in themes involving inspiration, renewed enthusiasm, and an exponential potential for growth.

What stands out to me today in this card is the “posture of discovery” that the rabbit is portraying in relation to the wand in his hands… and the little rabbit head at the top of the staff that, to me, indicates a sense of familiarity and communion.  It also feels significant that the bunny is barefoot, as it conveys a certain amount of vulnerability.

The message in today’s card is that it would be a good idea to take a look at the every day and the familiar in my life.  These things can be taken for granted, but can in truth also be great motivators and refresh the spark of inspiration when given a chance.  The vulnerability aspect has to do with being open to that inspiration, instead of “keeping your head down” and trudging onward because that is often what feels safest.

I relate really strongly to this message today, as I spent a great deal of my day on the farm helping them restructure their planting and harvest plans for this year to adjust to the diminished demand for perishables due to the extremely diminished demand from the restaurant industry combined with  people’s reaction to the pandemic spurring their desire to stock up on non-perishables rather than purchasing fresh produce at the same rate as in previous years.

DECK USED:  MARUCO ANIMAL TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
Question: What fulfills me?

Tarot Mucha

Reading Summary: Whether my intuition is full on (High Priestess) or is being blocked by emotions or other issues (Page of Cups Rx), I am fulfilled by my efforts to help others (The Hierophant) to be proactive in moving forward upon their own path (Temperance Rx).

Take Away:  One of the things that greatly fulfills me is helping others find their path and move forward upon it.   Their paths are very rarely the same as my path, but that really doesn’t matter.  It’s about helping them find what works for them, which is something that I feel capable of doing even when my intuition is blocked… but most especially when it’s not.

DECK USED:  TAROT MUCHA

#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I improve upon the person I am now?

TaRat Rat TarotReading Summary:  Don’t allow the lack of alone time (The Hermit) to steal away (Seven of Swords) my commitment (Page of Cups) and enthusiasm for leaning into (Queen of Wands) the emotional growth I’m currently experiencing (Previous Reading).

The Queen of Wands and the Page of Cups hearkens back to a reading I did for myself with this same deck on May 5th, where jumpers gave me the exact same cards which landed in the exact same positions on the board when first pulled as they did today.  That reading was about allowing my emotional exploration and growth to have some free reign, and the repeat of these cards in today’s draw holds a message to remind me of that reading and build upon it with this one.

Take Away:  Yesterday I had a good deal of business themed readings.  This reading is a reminder not to allow what needs to be done for the business to distract me from the emotional growth and exploration I’ve made the decision to embracing.

DECK USED:  TARAT RAT TAROT