Connected and Open

Today’s meditation was fourteen minutes long, and a continuation on the managing stress series that I have been listening to for the past few days.  Today’s take on the topic dealt with sitting with discomfort rather than running away from it.

This is a technique I learned in pain management, but it works for emotions and other situations as well.  Most stresses will pass if given time to do so, and those that don’t, you will adapt to.  It’s difficult to sit with discomfort, though, rather than trying to fix it or run from it.  It takes practice and effort… and sometimes even then, it’s just not something that’s easy to accomplish.

Dark Mansion Tarot Today’s draw is a double with a jumper, and it was very sneaky about it too (because usually if I get more than two? I put them back for a lesser amount).  The two jumped out together, but were so very aligned that they looked like one, then the third jumper came out off to the side.   When I then went to pick up the original card, I discovered there was another one hiding behind it.

SO…. the cards in today’s draw are the Ace of Cups and the World card, with the Hermit as the jumper.

And oh boy… this is all about our time together.  It’s about that new and budding depth of emotion  and how it feels all-encompassing, which is referenced in the Ace of Cups and the World card.  There is a connectedness and an other-worldliness that comes with the drown, and especially as deeply as I have drowned with you this time.  It creates a sort of sensation like a caterpillar wrapping itself into a cocoon, the inside saturated with the water of emotions bright and fresh and open and everywhere.

At some point that cocoon will open, though, and I will need to come out for air.   The Hermit is a reminder that I’m not alone, even if that is where my temptation to run and hide.   You create this space where my emotions are open and I feel connected to everything… I need you for what comes after as well, no matter how much my natural instinct is to retreat into myself.

Deck Used: Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.

Question: How can I deal more effectively with change?

Twisted Tarot TalesReading Summary: Although my temptation is to self soothe through excess (The Empress) while lashing out at others (Justice), or hide from responsibility (The Fool) by running away (Six of Swords), often the best course of action I can take is to submit (Eight of Swords) and let that shit just roll over me, chew me up, and spit me out.

Take Away: Change is inevitable, and the temptations that I feel to self-destruct during those times are natural but not helpful.  It’s important to avoid falling into those traps, and instead focus on rolling with the change and letting it happen, rather than fighting it or thrashing against it mentally or emotionally.

Deck Used: Twisted Tarot Tales

Be the Boss…. and The Better Man

Today’s meditation was just over nine minutes long and ended up in me dozing off into a much needed nap.   I know I made it almost to the end, because I remember her talking as I dozed off, and she really only talks at the end in most of the meditations.   But, for the life of me, I couldn’t tell you what the meditation was actually about.   It was obviously quite relaxing, though, as I dropped off to sleep without any difficulty at all.

Dark Mansion Tarot Today’s draw is the Major Arcana’s Empress card, and although this card is not usually read this way, what came to mind when I saw this card this morning was “Be the better man.”   That is to say, taking the high road and moving beyond the behavior of others.

Sometimes, this can be hard, yes?  Although, I have to admit, becoming non-verbal has definitely made it a bit easier.  The fact is that without a voice, it is harder to react, and often feels that it is just not worth my time.  When you have a voice, on the other hand, it’s much easier to “pop off” when provoked.

Traditionally, the Empress is a representation of fertility, nature, and abundance.  She is the “mother nature” card, and represents a regal but nurturing energy that spans the scope of the human experience, rather than referencing any one aspect of it.

Deck Used: Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.

Question: What message does my inner self have for me at this time?

Santa Muerte Tarot Reading Summary: Be the boss (The Emperor), tap into your strengths (Strength card), and do your work (Eight of Pentacles).

Take Away: I think that the cards are pretty self explanatory in this reading.  They definitely jump out at me and are very clear in their message.  With the holiday rush less than a month away now, I’m down to crunch time when it comes to getting ready.   There’s a lot of work involved in the preparation for that time, and the cards are saying that I need to make sure I work hard at being prepared, because the more of the work I can get accomplished now in preparation, the smoother that rush will be once it arrives.

Deck Used: Santa Muerte Tarot

The Mystery Continues

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and I really feel like they’re beating a dead horse lately.  Just saying, but today’s focus was once again upon the journey instead of the destination and how that relates to meditation.

I know it’s a message that lots of people (myself included) need to hear now and then, but it seems like they’re in a little bit of a rut at the moment, because it feels as if all of the meditations recently have been on different ways of phrasing the exact same topic.

Maybe I need to take a break from the guided meditations and try another method for a bit.

Dark Mansion Tarot Today’s draw is the Eight of Cups, which seems to be showing up quite a bit lately.  The Eight of Cups is about walking away, and about taking a new path.  I can’t help but think that this is a continuation on yesterday’s bonus reading, and you hit the nail on the head concerning what was missing from that reading btw.

I don’t know.  The answer to your question about yesterday’s bonus reading is that I don’t know.  But I’m again being prompted to make the choice of releasing myself from something that I’m not just intellectually invested on, but emotionally invested in as well.  The reading yesterday then spoke of returning to it with a new perspective and fresh ideas.

I’m still in the dark, although I think that the cards are definitely -trying- to help me realize what idea I’m hitting a brick wall on.  And the ‘out of sorts’ I’ve been feeling lately indicates that I am indeed hitting a brick wall.   I just need to figure out… on what.

Deck Used: Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt.

Question: In what way am I stronger than I realize?

Tarot of the Sweet Twilight Reading Summary: Making positive (The Sun) choices concerning my passions interests (Two of Wands), and mastering the skills necessary to bring those pursuits into reality (Eight of Pentacles).

Take Away:  Sometimes I lose touch with the joy that I feel in the creation of something new.  Something that is uniquely mine. My creation, my passion, my idea… something brought from nothing into reality.  I forget about the joy and the spark sometimes.   The reading today is a reminder of that joy.  My obvious strength is that ability to create, that skill at manifestation…. the hidden talent is in the joy I bring to the process.  It’s sometimes hidden even from me.  And I think it’s time to get back in touch with it again.

Deck Used: Tarot of the Sweet Twilight

Trying to Find the Tracks

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, and focused on a topic that comes up quite a lot.   That is the topic of meditation being about the practice, not the accomplishment.

Practice is the key word.  We practice.  We do it.  We work at it.  It is a journey.  And meditation is all about that journey, not some imagined finish line or perfection standard that is both unrealistic and unattainable.

Today’s draw is another double without a jumper, which means that they both came out of the deck together.  In fact?  They were so together that at first I didn’t realize there were two.   The cards in today’s draw are the Six of Cups with the Tower card as a jumper.

Dark Mansion Tarot Lollygagging –> Tower Moments

That is what I see.   And honestly, I feel like this is a repeating message lately.  I’m gearing up for the holiday season, but I’m not feeling the “oomph” that I need to prepare for what’s coming.   I know you say that I am super focused on responsibility and goals, and you’re right…. but there’s something missing.  Some part that I’m not connecting with this year, and it’s hindering my progress.   I need to get past it or figure out what it is and work it out, because I would very much like to avoid that crashing chaotic change that the Tower presents.

And that is what these cards are.  They are a warning.  They are not a prediction so much as an indication of what is needed to keep things on track.

Deck Used: Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt again today.  I’m definitely going to try to do the bonus readings every day (or near to it) for the rest of this month.

Question: What relationship(s) in my life encourage growth?

Ghosts & Spirits Tarot Reading Summary: Those that add a little spice and a sense of adventure into my life (Knight of Wands), offer a sense of security and safety (Four of Pentacles), and touch my heart (Knight of Cups).

Take Away:  It’s sort of funny that I was anticipating a far more specific response from the cards for this.  Instead, it gave me the information I need to look at my relationships with others (everyone from my bosses to my friends and loved ones) and examine each with that criteria in mind.  The answer in these cards doesn’t point to any one person or certain relationships, but rather encourages the evaluation of each relationship to find the qualities within them that… fit. This allows for an interesting perspective that I’m definitely going to be taking forward with me through the near future (or beyond).

Deck Used: Ghosts & Spirits Tarot

Making Choices and New Perspectives

Today’s meditation was ten minutes, and focused on the difference between love and selfishness.  That is to say, when you make decisions on how you act and the things you say with your loved ones…. are these things spurred by love?  Or are they spurred by selfishness?

One of the examples given is in a situation where your partner has the opportunity to advance their career, but to do so they need to go into a course that takes them away from home for two months.   Do you tell them not to go because you feel the need to cling onto them?   Or do you support the choice that is best for them (which would be to go and do the course)?

If its the first, then you are making a choice based on selfishness, rather than love.

I think that this is a line that a LOT of people need help in discerning.  I don’t think that I’m one of those that has this problem personally, but I have seen a lot of people that cross that line again and again, and never have a clue that their doing it.

Dark Mansion TarotToday’s draw is a double without a jumper, which is to say that they both fell out of the deck together.  The cards in today’s draw are the Lovers card and the Page of Wands.

Sometimes you have to make a choice.

The Page of Wands is all about potential and inspiration.  This is something that I have in spades a good amount of the time.  There’s always new ideas swimming in my head, and on the converse, there are times when self limiting beliefs about myself or others can be struggle for me.

The Lovers overlap this card (it is on top) which expresses that on the whole, to make these potential inspirations and aspirations come to life requires making a choice.  I can’t do them all.  I can’t accomplish everything at once, and sometimes bad ideas are just bad ideas.

Together, these cards are about the importance of making choices about where I place my energy.

Deck Used: Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt again today.  I’m definitely going to try to do the bonus readings every day (or near to it) for the rest of this month.

Question: Where may my growth benefit from external assistance?

Zombie Tarot Reading Summary:  The Five of Swords is all about conflict, disagreements, and competition.  The Three of Cups, on the other hand, is about coming together and cooperation.  The Seven of Swords is along the same theme as the Five, in that it deals with deception and betrayal.   All three of these cards are cards that deal with interaction with others.

Take Away:  I have a deep seated need to understand how others think, and to see their perspectives. Sometimes, though, I have a hard time understanding other people’s motives, especially in times when conflict and deception are involved.  And especially in these situations?  I feel that need even more strongly.  I want to understand, sometimes with great desperation when I can’t get there on my own.

At these times, I often need those closest to help me in expanding my own perspectives and perceptions enough to see things from the person’s view and better understand this other person’s motivations and perspectives.

Deck Used: Zombie Tarot

Sense of Self

Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and focused on separating from the “self” and becoming a witness in order to deal with difficult emotions and grasp that they are temporary and will pass.

This type of detachment is something that I’m intimately familiar with, but what I really liked about today’s guided meditation was the explanation that came before moving on to the topic of separation from self to deal with emotions.

In leading up to the topic, it spoke about how we say we have a body, and we have a mind.  We speak of these things like they are possessions, rather than saying, for example, that we are a body or we are a mind.  This brings to bear the question of what are we?  She speaks on how many advanced meditation practitioners have come to the conclusion that each of us is a “Witness”, and that in the experience of being human, each of us is at our core pure awareness.

I found this a very interesting perspective, and it fits in well with how I view the world, people, life, and my practice as a whole.  I’ve heard similar perspectives in the past, but how it was presented in today’s guided meditation really struck a chord for me.

Today’s draw is a double without a jumper, meaning that they both came out of the deck together. The cards in today’s draw are the Eight of Cups and The Sun card.

When I look at today’s cards, the message that comes through is about moving on from uncertainty and into a more positive outlook.  I think this goes well with what you and I have been experiencing the last couple of days with the drop and my struggles to fill the shoes as  I feel necessary to be on the supportive side of things.   It’s something I really struggle with, and I don’t entirely understand why.  I’m a responsible person, and I see the aftermath as very much an important responsibility, and yet I wobble under that weight time and again.

As the scales slide back into balance, though, I feel lighter and warmer. Less struggle and more gratitude.  I think you are right that the top space swings high, then like a pendulum, comes to swing back the other way and knock me off that perch.  The cards are telling me that I need to accept my shortcomings and move away from the self blame and recriminations.  Be happy with the experience as it is and bask in the balance we have with each other, instead of picking apart my part of it a little at a time to dig out negatives.

Deck Used: Dark Mansion Tarot

Bonus Reading

Another #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt again today.  As mentioned before, I might try to do the bonus reading every day (or near to it) for this month.

Question: How can I better honor the divine masculine within me? (Note: The word honor is stressed to make sure I keep in mind the nature of the question through the reading of the cards and answers written here.)

Reading Summary: The Queen of Cups is about receptive alpha emotional energy, and the King of Cups on the other side is projective emotional energy.  Separating the two is the Eight of Wands, which speaks of swift, fast paced action and change, and I also pick up hints of the inverted meaning of misalignment in the image.

Take Away:   Recognition and acceptance of my emotions is needed.  At the moment, I use my busyness and the cacophony of having my fingers in so many pots to put aside and separate myself from my emotions.  If I want to honor the divine masculine within me, I need to seek out a better connection between that receptive energy and the projective energy within my emotions, and seek a wholeness and synergy without wedging “everything else” in between to keep my emotions detached and compartmentalized.

Deck Used: Spirit Tarot (from the Halloween Spirit Store and Spencer’s Gifts)