Daily Focus

Stay True To The Path

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was fifteen minutes long and was attached to the end of my yoga/physiotherapy practice.   I went up north today to check the mail and I didn’t want to allow myself the chance of falling asleep during or after my meditation, so it was a better idea to incorporate it into my yoga practice instead of doing it on my own stretched out and folded up into a couple of stretches on the bed.   The floor is far less comfortable, after all, even with a yoga mat laid out.

Forager's Daughter Tarot - The EmperorToday’s draw is the Emperor card, which is traditionally interpreted as a strong “father” energy or “boss” energy. This has to do with themes that involve being in a position of authority, or possessing a sense of stability, structure, and established control.

What really stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is the banded agate rocks that the buck stands upon.  Banded agate has a lot of meanings and uses but it is most commonly known as a healing stone that reaches into the levels of the mind, body, and spirit to unify as it heals.  It is also a powerful against psychic attacks directed through harmful negative energy.

The traditional meaning of this card blended with the qualities of the banded agate provide me with a message about not allowing others to drag me down.  Keep my energy both positive and authoritative as I move through my day today and things will continue to go smoothly.  Step off this path… and you may fall into a tangled mess below.

DECK USED:  FORAGER’S DAUGHTER TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I bring more alignment with self into my life?

Tarot Fauna

Reading Summary: Bring more restraint (Temperance) into both the juggling of my responsibilities (Two of Rocks) and allow for more acceptance (again, Temperance) of fickle nature of change (Wheel of Fortune).

Take Away:  The advice here is to add a little extra space to my plate… not to be filled up with things to do, but to leave a little bit of “wiggle room” in my schedule and in my pile of responsibilities so that when I need a little extra time and space, I have it on hand.  This is really good advice, and oddly similar to advice I gave in a reading to someone else earlier today with an entirely different question.

The truth is, though, that I do have a habit of piling so much on my plate that then, when I need a little space, I’m so overwhelmed with commitments and responsibilities that I can’t find it.   This starts a cycle of negative reactions and struggles that results in burnout (where I end up having to drop the ball on damned near everything) and then a recovery period after burnout.

DECK USED:  TAROT FAUNA

#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Write something free-form inspired by the cards.

Stella's TarotThere was once a young fox who thought he had everything figured out.  He lived in a small forest filled with the security of family and friends, a plentiful amount of food (Ten of Disks).

So much so that the fox was able to be picky with his meals and often ignored the advice of his mother (Queen of Cups atop Four of Cups) to eat a diverse diet, instead choosing to eat his favorites again and again.

Over time, because the young fox had a sweet tooth that caused him to eat far too many berries and not enough meat, he became very sickly and unwell (Seven of Disks).

Then one day he saw his sister chasing after a rabbit. He was so fascinated by the joy she displayed as she ran and played (Knight of Wands), bounding after the bit of fluff this way and that, that he realized the error of his ways and was inspired to follow suit and learn from her how to take care of himself properly (Princess of Cups).

DECK USED:  STELLA’S TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What are my relationship deal breakers?

TaRat Rat Tarot

Reading Summary: Irresponsible with money (Page of Coins Rx). A bossy know it all (The Hierophant). Uncertainty and lack of direction (The Moon).

Take Away:  I’m actually surprised that stupidity isn’t up there. *Chuckles.*  Though, all of those things listed in these cards are definitely deal breakers for me.

1) I really can’t stand someone that is ultimately so irresponsible with their money that they can’t cover their responsibilities.  I see this behavior all the time and, while I don’t mind it in others as a whole? It’s not something I could ever saddle myself to, as I am far too focused on stability and security to tolerate that behavior when it might influence my own situation.

2) There is a big difference between someone who is dominant and wise…. and someone that’s just bossy and an ass.   I’ve found that although I thrive in relation to the first, and I would not be able to tolerate the latter. I’m too independent to allow someone with arbitrary demands have control over my life.

3) By the same turn, I am also too independent to tolerate being close with someone that has no clue what the fuck they think or feel or want.  This type of behavior drives me nuts, and it is something that I have often encouraged others to grow out of over time.

DECK USED:  TARAT RAT TAROT

Sink or Swim

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was skipped in favor of getting my ass going on orders.  Yes, I know that is a horrible excuse and yet… I’m not going to cover it up.  I made the decision to skip today in order to dive into work and get things done.

Maruco Animal Tarot - The TowerToday’s draw is The Tower card of the Major Arcana (again), which is a representation of sudden and chaotic change.

What really stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is the two bunnies.  Unlike in most Tower cards where the figures look like they are being thrown from the tower by the force of the blast, these bunnies look to me like they are fleeing.   This speaks to me of the reality that sometimes?  When your boat is sinking it’s time to jump in the water and pray for the best.

It’s not really in my nature to bail on a struggle, but I do understand that sometimes?  Just have to do so.   Especially when you don’t like what’s happening and have no control over the chaos or the outcome.

I feel like this has to do with my expectations. Specifically those to do with humanity’s intelligence as a whole.  Not that I can bail on humanity, but it might be time to bail on the expectation that intelligence is an inherent part of humanity.  At least… that’s what it feels like lately whenever I watch the news.

Or maybe the real message here is to bail on paying so much attention to the news, because every damn time I do?  I become more disappointed in the intelligence level of society and humanity as a whole.   I understand there are small pockets of real thinkers… but jesus… it just seems like there are so many more idiots out there than people using their brains.

DECK USED:  MARUCO ANIMAL TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
Question: What makes me feel more connected or aligned with Self?

Sun and Moon Tarot

Reading Summary: When my plate is full (Ten of Wands) and I am feeling clear headed and in charge (King of Swords) with a sense of inspiration and adventure blowing wind into my sails (Princess of Swords).

Take Away:  It’s only when I am feeling the fog of confusion, fear, or struggling with emotions that carrying a full plate of responsibilities becomes a struggle for me.   When I feel most “myself”, it is when my mind is clear and I’m invigorated with lots to do and a sense of productivity at  play.

DECK USED:  SUN AND MOON TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I improve upon my self-care at this time?

The Muse TarotReading Summary: Lean your expertise (Eight of Materials) into ideas that inspire you (Ace of Inspiration). Your progress and stability (Imagery in the Muse of Materials) will continue for a while without you in the saddle (Knight of Materials).

Take Away:  The cards here are encouraging me to delve into my new ideas and inspiration instead of focusing so tightly on my financial stability and progress.  It’s okay to take some time away from these stresses that I spend so much of my time and energy focusing on.  It’s okay to delve into other passions and ideas for a bit.  Nothing is going to topple off kilter if you do this for a short time (and perhaps begin to incorporate it into my life in some way to carry it forward in the future as well).

DECK USED:  THE MUSE TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge
Question: How can I overcome my fear of change?

Mystic Faerie Tarot

Reading Summary: Hope for something better to come (The Star) while taking action to defend (Eight of Wands) what I hold most dear (Three of Pentacles) with all the tools in my arsenal (The Magician).

Take Away:  When change comes around, whether it’s gradual and builds up over time or comes out of the blue with chaos and a cacophony of stress, I have a habit of going immediately to a pessimistic view and start catastrophizing.  I think this is pretty normal for a lot of people, but it isn’t productive and only indulges my fears.

The cards here indicate that if I want to overcome these fears, a better option is to consciously reach for a more optimistic view of what the changes might result in while making sure those things that are important to me stay whole and cared for along the way.

DECK USED:  MYSTIC FAERIE TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How am I different in my romantic relationship than I am with others?

Tarot Mucha

Reading Summary: Vulnerable (Five of Pentacles) and uncertain (Nine of Cups Rx) and more open to allowing my emotions to overflow (Ace of Cups).

Take Away:  In my romantic relationship, I allow far more vulnerability to rise to the surface and be shared with you than I would ever allow others outside of that intimate relationship to see.  I share with you my uncertainties and fears, my worries and self doubts.   I share with you all of these things, and I share with you my emotions, which is something I very rarely share with others in any true depth.  With you, though, I allow those emotions to spill over within the safety and security of the knowledge that you want them… need them… and will love me no matter how intense or disorganized or messy that emotional part of me may be.

DECK USED:  TAROT MUCHA

Stepping Outside the Comfort Zone

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

IMG_4264Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and dealt with pain management during one’s meditation practice.

As I use meditation to assist in my pain management, the techniques that were introduced in the guided meditation today are not new to me.  It was nice to be guided through a process that I usually do on my own without guidance though.  As if, by handing over control to the guide, I was able to relax a little more into the practice than I do when I am in control of the pace and path of the meditation on my own.

The method that was focused on in today’s meditation is what I call the “adjustment and acceptance” method, which basically means that if there is pain that can be alleviated by adjusting your physical positioning or posture, then make those adjustments.

If there is pain that remains, regardless of the adjustments you make, then this is pain that you must accept and allow.  Instead of fighting against it, you take that pain as a part of life and a part of you, and find ways to process it and function through it, moving forward with it as a part of you rather than seeing it as your enemy and something to resist.

Forager's Daughter Tarot - Five of PentaclesToday’s draw is the Five of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of tests, trials, and conflict in the area of one’s finances, resources, manifestations, and the physical world.  This often translates into themes that have to do with financial struggles, scarcity issues, health problems, and isolation caused by lack of resources.

What stands out to me today in the imagery of this card is the dried and barren Rubus brambles and the leaf of these brambles that hides the dead rat’s butt.  Although the brambles still contain a few berries and leaves, they are out of the rat’s easy reach and this has created a situation where the rat has starved due to a lack of ingenuity to move forward to another location and find the food he needs.   The leaf… on the other hand, feels like a hint of cover for one’s vulnerability.

The message here is sometimes you have to move out of your comfort zone to find what you need in life.  You can’t always play it safe and have your ass covered, sometimes you have to take on that element of vulnerability and risk to better your situation.

I’m not entirely sure where this fits into my life at the moment, but I feel that the message here is a reminder to keep my eyes open for an opportunity to make life better for myself and those in my home, and to be ready to jump at the chance when it appears before me rather than second guessing due to an attachment to being in my comfort zone.

DECK USED:  FORAGER’S DAUGHTER TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I better change or accept that aspect of myself in a loving way?

Dixit Deck v2 Quest

Dixit Deck v2 QuestReading Summary: Don’t allow that inner critic to rain out the event taking place (First Card). Stay open to new possibilities (Second Card) and magical moments (Third Card).

Never forget your old way of doing things is a dapper and seductive fuck (Jumper to the Right).

Take Away:  The message here is to make sure I don’t give credence to that negative inner critic that always tries so hard to tear me down.  I’m on a journey of emotional growth at the moment, and there’s a lot of new things and new experiences coming at me as a result.

I need to remember not to give into the familiarity and seduction my inner critic’s voice possesses and reach for the possibilities and experiences this growth is offering me.

DECK USED:  DIXIT V.2 QUEST EXPANSION PACK

 

Unconventional Balance

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was actually a nice long soak in the tub.  I didn’t exactly meditate, but honestly?  The hour and a half spent in the water alone and quiet without any intrusions or interruptions was the closest I’ve gotten to alone time in ages.  So… yeah.  No meditation today, but a hella nice and relaxing time in the bath.  Even once the water got cold I was loathe to get out.

Maruco Animal Tarot - JusticeToday’s draw is the Justice card of the Major Arcana, meaning that it’s a card that deals with the vast scope of the human experience rather than any one specific aspect.   The Justice card is traditionally read as an indication of action resulting in balance, and a theme of cause and effect.

What really stands out to me in this card is the red.  Red like the crimson of blood.  Red like spring tulips and summer poppies.  The second thing that stands out to me in this card are the scales.   The combination of these things brings to mind the phrase “one’s pound of flesh” which is about something one is strictly (or legally) entitled to, but which is ruthless or inhuman to demand.

The message here is about entitlement and the dangers and pitfalls that type of mentality can present.  Everyone has moments when they feel entitled or owed in some way, but sometimes you have to look at if receiving what you think you deserve is really going to balance the scales… or just create yet another and different imbalance in the long run.

When I think of this message, I think of my mother and how much I want her to be a loving, caring, and supportive mother figure for me.  This is obviously not going to happen, and the encouragement here is that that’s okay.  I’ve found other places to receive this energy, support, and encouragement.  The scales are balanced, even if not in a conventional way.

DECK USED:  MARUCO ANIMAL TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMay Challenge Prompt
Question: What aspect of myself that I dislike is most in need of attention at this time?

Spiritsong Tarot

Intuitive Interpretation:  The giraffe is judging me…. the whale is diving deep… the fox is defensive.   What I see here in these cards is that the giraffe represents my self judgements concerning the whale’s deep dive, which represents my emotional exploration.  The watchful fox is tense and cautious., speaking of my worries on finding a safe and steady resting place.

Take Away:  My worry and self doubt and inner critic.  During this time of emotional delving and expanding into new depths within that experience, I am doing my best to not allow my inner critic or self doubts to screw with me and mess it up.  I don’t want to become defensive or fearful, but to remain open and let this moment of growth reach its potential.

DECK USED:  SPIRITSONG TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsMay2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Butterfly Effect – Is there a cause for every event?

Mermaid TarotReading Summary: These cards display a path….  selfish attainment (Four of Pentacles) creating a lacking elsewhere (Five of Pentacles).  And yet the card at the top is discordant to this theme both in the path.. but also in the coloring and atmosphere of the artwork.

Take Away:  I was expecting that the answer would be yes, but what the cards actually indicate here is that no, not everything is created through cause and effect.   The majority of things are definitely created through the process of cause and effect, but every once in a while something wondrous and amazing slips in to mix things up.

DECK USED:  MERMAID TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge
Question: What do I need to release in my life to better incorporate what I need to learn?

Fairy Tarot by Doreen Virtue

Reading Summary: My tendency to listen with my heart to my inner critic (Queen of Summer) and retreat from others as a result (The Hermit) while my learned defense mechanism builds up inner walls (Seven of Spring).

Take Away:  My inner critic seems to be the topic of a lot of my readings lately, and they’re not wrong.  That inner critic of mine is vicious and venomous, and that venom has a way of creating setbacks to healthy growth and good balance.

DECK USED:  FAIRY TAROT BY VIRTUE AND VALENTINE

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I heal from pain and disappointment in my relationship experiences?

Mystical Creatures Tarot

Reading Summary:  Select a direction (Two of Wands) that supports your need for stability (Page of Coins) and tread that path without worry (The Fool) while your inner walls of defense are left to crumble (Seven of Swords Rx).

Take Away:  Another message about my inner critic… or rather, more about my defenses and those walls I build to try and protect myself from emotional pain and disappointment.  The cards here are indicating that those walls are ineffectual, and a better way to deal with these disappointments is to stay focused on my goals concerning the stability that I want in my life and treat those moments of pain and disappointment more like raindrops running off a raincoat.  In other words… good riddance to those that hurt and disappoint me, as they don’t foster those goals that are so important to me anyway.

DECK USED:  MYSTICAL CREATURES TAROT

 

Renewal Will Come… Eventually

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was once again interrupted.  This time by my sister yowling from the other room when she tried to do something she didn’t have the upper body strength to do alone and brought me running when she nearly crushed herself under a toppling shelf as a result.

So… once again I will be trying to do a bit of meditation before sleep tonight, once I head to bed.   I know it’s better than nothing, but I really do like doing it in the morning better.  Just sayin’.

Forager's Daughter Tarot - The Tower CardToday’s draw is the Tower card of the Major Arcana, which is traditionally a representation of sudden and often major change, usually accompanied by a good deal of chaos.

What stands out to me the strongest today in the imagery of this card is not the lightning or the damaged tree, but rather the little sprouts that are just starting to break free of the ground at the base of the tree, and the burn morels that encircle the broken up earth where the ruined tree stands.

Both of these speak to me of the renewal that comes after everything has been shaken up and burned to the ground.  The new sprouts are an indication of the growth that can be achieved by starting over, while the burn morels speak to me of the strength and adaptability of the energies of life and rejuvenation, as these specific mushrooms are mysterious even to today’s science, cropping up within the ashes of old fires from seemingly out of nowhere.

The message here in the imagery of today’s card is a message of hope. It is a reminder to open my heart to the possibilities the future will hold, rather than allowing myself to fall into pessimism, as is so easy for me to do.  We are all going through a hard time right now, struggling with the vast and varied effects that the pandemic has wrought in our lives.  This card is a reminder that things will eventually get better.

DECK USED:  FORAGER’S DAUGHTER TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge
Question: How can I better overcome these challenges that I will face?

Mystical Manga Tarot

Reading Summary:  You have all the tools at your disposal (The Magician) and share those gifts with others all the time (Nine of Cups Rx). You just have to make the choice to champion for yourself as you already do for others (Seven of Wands).

Take Away: How I treat others and the help that I give them in the variety of ways that I do so from teaching to standing up for them, advocating for them and all these other ways that I contribute to the lives of others… these things are a clear display of the tools I have on hand to me to overcome the challenges of my own inner critic.  I just have to make the choice to lean into my heart instead of the viper in your head when dealing with myself, and use those skills I share so freely with others upon myself as well.

DECK USED:  MYSTICAL MANGA TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What needs to heal from past relationships?

Cosmos Tarot and Oracle

Reading Summary: These cards speak to me of my mother not being as supportive as thought she was (Earth) and feeling betrayed by that (Perseus) because it feels like my trust was laid out like a sacrificial lamb for her to shred after my father’s passing (Ara).

Take Away:  This reading brings up a lot of really uncomfortable emotions for me.  I don’t like seeing my mother in the new light she’s shown of herself since my father’s passing, but I’ve come to the understanding that the impression I once had of her was false and it took the removal of his far more blatant abuse for me to see her more subtle lack of support and selfishness.  Discovering this really hurt me deeply… and it still hurts.

DECK USED:  COSMOS TAROT AND ORACLE