daily draw

Empathic Ability… or Something Else

/ Twist the Leaf / 2 Comments

Today’s meditation was… well, I’m not entirely how long it was, because I fell asleep.  It was relaxing, though. I think that just a lack of sleep combined with the taxing part of having both the helper and the housekeeper coming by today just took it out of me.  I laid down and became still, and off to sleep I went.

Today’s draw is Queen of Bats (Swords), which is a representation of a receptive alpha energy in the area of intellect, thought, logic, communication, and instinct.  This involves themes that include independent thought, reflection on new ideas without the need for conformity (ie: clear boundaries), a lack of bias, and direct communication.

When I look at today’s card, what I see is strength reflected through the posture of the queen and her sword, and an openness to hear out others while staying firm in one’s own foundations that is demonstrated in her welcoming of the flying bat combined with the death moth that is both at the base of her throne as well as within her crown. The moon smiling down feels like a blessing and approval, displaying an indication that this path is the right one for this moment in time.

I think this is a really interesting card to draw today, because I find myself reflecting on the definition of what an empath is, and if it really applies to me as I thought it did.  The thing is, I do not feel other people’s emotions in the way that I understand empathic abilities to work.  Instead, I sense and react to energy.  From that energy, my body can then interpret and even empathize with emotions from others… but it is not the direct connection and mimicry of emotion that others seem to define the ability as having.

Clearly, this feels like a separation between what I’m experiencing, and what is generally defined as empathic ability.  I wonder, then, if in fact this isn’t empathic ability at all, but something else that I haven’t yet found a name and/or definition for yet.

This, to me, fits in with the Queen of Bats because it runs along the line of intellectual examination, independent thought, and non-conformity.

Deck Used: Halloween Tarot

Bonus Reading

I did the #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt today from Instagram.

Question: How can I recognize my own power to manifest growth?  I specifically focused on growth concerning my business in this inquiry.

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Reading Summary:  If you would just give yourself a chance to be nicer to yourself and embrace the emotional gifts others are offering,  the world would be at your feet.  Stop and examine where you feel scarcity.

Take Away:  I need to sit with my emotions, look at and delve into a better understanding of them, and allow others to contribute to my life with their own emotions as well.   This is the aspect of my life where I am at my weakest, as I often have a hard time connecting with others in this manner, or experiencing the world through that lens. I need to take a breath and ease my strangle hold of stress concerning finances and the business or it will smother under my grip.

Deck Used: Skele-Tarot

Trying New Things

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long, but I didn’t do a guided meditation today.  Instead, I took some time to focus upon my breathing, and then worked my way through a full body scan that began at my head and worked down to the tips of my toes.

Once reaching my feet, I moved on to a full awareness of my full body and then expanded that awareness outward to first the room, then beyond.

Eventually, I retracted this awareness back to my normal space just as the chime went off to mark the ten minute mark, and I left it there for the day.

Today’s draw is the Ace of Axes (Swords) with a jumper of the Ace of Cups.

Both of these cards deal with the seeds of new beginnings, opportunity, and potential.  In the case of the Axes, this has to do with the area of thoughts, intellect, logic, communication, and instinct.   The Cups, on the other hand, deals with emotions, relationships, creativity, and intuition.

What I see in these cards today is that I need to invest my heart and soul into new ideas, and when seeking for ways to communicate, try to reach beyond just my mind for that connection with others, but seek to communicate from my heart as well.

As you know, other than with dealing with you personally, this is not my normal approach.  In fact, even with you sometimes I struggle to dip beyond logic and intellect, and into the expression of the heart in my communication.  Sometimes it’s easier than others, but this is something I really don’t do all that often.

For this reason, today’s draw feels like a challenge of sorts.  A challenge of the “status quo” and my “modus operandi” .  A challenge to try a new way of relating to the world.

I’m not entirely sure I’m ready to take up that challenge, but it’s definitely something to think about… and maybe even explore my feelings on a little bit.

Deck Used: Tarot of the Unknown

 

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Bonus Reading

I did the #TarotForGrowthOctober prompt today from Instagram.

Question: What is holding me back from further growth?

Reading Summary: The growth this reading is pertaining to has to do with my business, finances, and resources.  Specifically, in the effort it will take to bring things into balance and up to par after the summer months.  The girl looks ahead into the future, and there is planning going on, but there are obstacles in the way to the climb to the next level.  If I want to surmount them, it is going to take a piece of myself to do so.   A physical and emotional tole.

Take Away: It’s time to identify the obstacles on the path.  Sometimes, those things that look fascinating, or even harmless, can actually be secretly holding you back.  If I want to succeed, I don’t just need to educate myself and plan for the future, but be willing to fight for what I want, and sacrifice for it as well.

Deck Used: Tarot of Vampyres

 

It’s Going to Be Okay

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Today’s meditation was twelve minutes long, and focused on the fact that sometimes meditation isn’t peaceful.   That is to say that sometimes, there is so much going on in our minds that it isn’t possible to sink into stillness.   It also discussed how this is okay.

This is a struggle that everyone deals with, but meditation isn’t about that silent calm.  It’s about seeking mindfulness.   If that means you don’t reach calm, but you are mindful in those moments of the present and what is going on with you.   Then you are still meditating.

I think that’s an important message.  A lot of people try meditation and feel that they are failing at it.  But the truth is, if you are trying?  You are succeeding.   It’s not about success, it’s about the journey.

Today’s draw is a double without a jumper, and may I just say…. I’m so happy to be home and able to use the Stolen Child tarot one last time for this purpose before the month shifts to October.  I really love this deck.

Ok… on to today’s draw.   The draw for today is the Nine of Zephyrs (Swords) and the King of Oak (Pentacles).

The Nine of Zephyrs is an “oh shit” card, and you can see this in the belly-to-the-ground pose of the hare in the card’s imagery.   There is a whole lot of uncertainty there, and a sense of a “the sky is falling” mentality.   In the traditional meaning for this card (the Nine of Swords) it is much the same.  It is a card of overwhelm and anxiety, depression and turmoil in the area of the mind, logic, intellect, and instinct.

The King of Oak’s energy speaks to me of self-possession and abundance.  The young king is surrounded by plentiful gifts, and the closing of his eyes in this card does not appear like ignorance so much as like a communion and gratitude.   Like with the previous card, my perceptions of this card’s artwork echo the traditional meaning of the card, which is a representation of a projective alpha energy in the area of resources, finances, manifestation, and the physical world.  This includes themes that involves wealth, abundance, and stability in the areas of business and finance.

Today’s cards are addressing my cyclical “catastrophe” type thinking concerning my business.  This time of year is very stressful for me, for although the dry period that comes each year has come to an end, the pick-up back to the norm takes a little time.

Sometimes it DOES feel like the sky is falling during this time before the holiday rush starts, and I worry that all the preparation will be for naught.   The King of Oak is there to tell me that I just need to center myself and keep preparing.  He speaks of the fact that I know full well what this cycle I’m in with my business is, and where it will go, and that I will become flush again soon enough as the recovery period flushes out into an abundance of business for the six weeks or so that are my yearly holiday rush.

Deck Used: Stolen Child Tarot

 

Creating Small Spaces

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and ten seconds long, and focused on how we perceive time, and enjoying our time more.

The guided meditation discussed how it is the times in our life when we forget about time entirely that are our unforgettable moments, and how we need to seek out more of these moments to incorporate into our lives.

It was very early when I did my meditation this morning, and I did a repeat of it later in the day just before my nap. In both cases I found it to be a really nice, peaceful process today, even when E (the eight year old girl I told you about) decided to join me for the second one.

Today’s draw is the Hermit card, which is the ninth card in the Major Arcana, and deals with overall themes rather than specific aspects of the human experience.

The Hermit card is a representation of taking time to oneself and self reflection. For me, it is in many ways a self-care card, as the kind of “stepping away” and into self that this card represents is almost always a time of restorative healing for me.

This card was very apt for today, and I’ve already ran into a few situations where it’s advice has come in useful. These included staying quiet and restful in the car this morning on the way to the festival, taking E aside at the festival when she had a mini-emotion-explosion, stepping out to go for a walk in the rain when we made it back to the house, and taking a nap because 5am came god-fucking-awful early this morning.

In each of these instances there was a bit of healing involved, mostly for myself but in one instance also for E, who would have gotten in serious trouble if she’d been allowed to go full-on nuclear meltdown as they seemed to be egging her toward with everyone’s insistence on ignoring what was happening.

None of these retreats were particularly long or large, but each was a bite-sized piece of time and healing that has helped preserve a bit of balance.

Deck Used: Morgan Greer Tarot

Stability

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and ten seconds long, and focused on self-soothing. That is to say, finding methods to self-soothe that work for you personally during times of stress and discomfort.

It covered a number of methods in mindfulness and meditation including breathing exercises, counting exercises, visualization, etc.

These are all methods that I’ve tried before, and most of them work for me on some level as long as I’m not overly worked up and toppling into the area of a snickers attack.

Today’s draw is the fourth card of the Major Arcana, the Emperor, which like all of the Major Arcana cards deals with “the big picture” rather than any one aspect of the human experience.

The Emperor card is a representation of authoritative energy, control, and structure. Its appearance today is a reiteration of what you have been saying over the past few days while I ride out the disorientation of my family’s new behavior.

That is to say, keep myself seated in a place of stability and strength. Enjoy the reprieve, but don’t allow it lull me into a place of vulnerability.

Perspectives

/ Twist the Leaf / 1 Comment

Today’s meditation was ten minutes and ten seconds long, and focused on staying present and mindful in the moment as a way of developing better concentration and focus not jus in those moments but in life as a whole. Hi

Today’s draw is the twelfth card in the Major Arcana, which is the Hanged Man. This card, like all Major Arcana cards, is a “big picture” card rather than dealing with only one aspect of the human experience. The Hanged Man is my favorite card in the tarot, snd is a representation of taking s step back in order to gain a new perspective.

Today’s card is another push within the currently running theme concerning new perspectives where my family is concerned. I don’t see this as I would a stalker card, where I’m just not getting the message. Instead, the repeat themes using different cards feels more like reminders and encouragement.

I am doing my best to keep an open mind where they are concerned and not allow their past behaviors to influence my perceptions or expectations. This doesn’t mean I am leaving myself wide open to be hurt or abused, only that I’m trying to give them the benefit of the doubt.