daily draw

Knowing Your Values

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and I had an extremely difficult time staying focused today, which is not particularly surprising considering what I had planned for later in the morning.  I think it was good that I did sit down and do it, though, as it helped settle my nerves a bit.

Now that that part of the day is over, though, I will probably try again later this evening before we begin the drive home.

Today’s draw is the Hanged Man, which is also apropos for this morning’s activities.  Although in this case it is me showing others a different perspective than taking one myself.   There is a part of the Hanged Man’s interpretation that has to do with criminal behavior and payment as well, which is also appropriate.

The appearance of the Hanged Man in today’s draw is a reminder of who I am and what I stand for.  It is here to keep me from getting lost in my rebellion or the upheaval that it causes and is sure to cause down the line.  My acts today were done with reason and purpose, and when the chaos is swirling around me I need to keep hold of that and remember that.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE INNER ANIMAL TAROT

#TarotForGrowthFebruary Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I improve my relationship with my mind?

Reading Summary:  A strong and stable connection with my mind (King of Swords) will require me to stay true to my values (Judgement) and that intrinsic sense of fairness that I need so deeply (Justice).

Take Away:  My inner sense of self and moral compass requires a balanced approach and a fairness to be incorporated into my thoughts and actions.  When I occasionally stray from this, it weakens that connection I have to my mind and it’s level and logical approach to seeing and processing the world.

DECK USED:  THE INVERSION TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsFeb2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I be a better friend?

Reading Summary:  Be there for my friends when they need a helping hand (Nine of Wands) and provide the emotional boosts that they occasionally need (Knight of Cups) when they are trapped into feelings of uncertainty (The Moon).

Take Away: Sometimes friends need more than outside the box thinking to help them work through a problem and find a solution.  Sometimes they need emotional support as well.   It’s not really my strong suit, but the cards indicate if I want to be a better friend, this is an area I could improve on.

Deck Note: Oddly?  I really love this deck, which considering the subject reminder is a bit surprising to me.  The deck reminds me of those tiny green plastic soldier toys from the dollar store. I know that these are actual WWII propaganda posters, but they all have that “toy soldiers playing out card meanings” feel to me.  I kinda like it.

DECK USED:  WWII POSTERS TAROT

Owl and Bones February Two Card Challenge
Question: Where should I emerge? / What do I see in my shadow?

Reading Summary:  I don’t know the system for these cards as they are a recent gift without any sort of book, so the read off these is 100% intuitive off the imagery.  The cards indicate that I need to step out of my shell more with others at large rather than just hiding away.  In the shadow behind me is pride and depression… or rather that indulging in pride can lead into depression.

Take Away:  It’s true that I have a habit of closing myself off.  It’s not elitist or that I mean to close people out, so much as that it is a defense mechanism that was created through experiencing some pretty damaging betrayals.  I don’t mean to project that on others, but when I feel vulnerable I retreat rather than stepping forward.

As for what lingers in my shadow.  The “pride” I am seeing here is my demand to live up to some imaginary standard that I can never quite reach.  In this context, the fact that I fail to reach this standard can absolutely be a trigger for depression.

DECK USED:  DISHONORED TAROT

Celebrating Your Joys

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Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and extremely uncomfortable. This had to do with the fact that my muscles were so tight that I was very stiff to the point of some pretty intense pain. It did help my body normalize the pain a bit, though, which is always a good thing.

Page of Wands - Textured TarotToday’s draw is the Page of Wands, which is often a representation of that spark of creativity within the energetic passion of the Wands suit.

The message for me in this card is about finding what you love and reveling in it. It isn’t enough sometimes to just do what you love, sometimes you need to really relish it. Wallow in it, and celebrate it and the joy you find within it.

It’s about enthusiasm and the joyous celebration of how our passions enrich our lives… and is very much the lighthearted reminder I needed today to help counterbalance the weight of my anger and disappointment concerning yesterday’s events.

DECK USED: TEXTURED TAROT

#TarotForGrowthFebruary Challenge Prompt
Question: What is my relationship with my mind right now?

Circle Inner Animal Tarot

Me – Queen of Swords – Dignity and Strength

My Mind – Nine of Cups – The Happy Camper

Our Relationship – Four of Cups and The Star – Working well together as long as I stay open

Advice – Seven of Wands – Avoid feelings of defensiveness

Take Away – Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched. I’m on solid footing, but even with my regular pessimistic outlook, I can sometimes be a bit too hopeful at times when my mind has already reasoned out a negative result or outcome.

DECK USED: CIRCLE INNER ANIMAL TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsFeb2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Do Spread #1

Dixit Cards Daydreams Expansion PackReading Summary: Its time to start looking more closely at the spirit guide aspect of my practice, but during the early times of this new path, I need to tread lightly and with care.

My creativity will start to reawaken soon, and to foster that process, I just need to practice some patience for the time being. Just wait.

Take Away: I have always pretty much ignored my spirit guides. I knew that they existed and were out there to assist and protect me, but I’ve always just let them do their own thing and go their own way. This has always worked really well for me, and for them too it seems. But in the fall I had a n expert hat makes me feel like I need to start making more of an effort where they are concerned. The cards are telling me to take things slow and don’t be overeager in pursuit of that new connection and/or method of communication.

DECK USED: DIXIT CARDS DAYDREAMS EXPANSION PACK

Owl and Bones February Two Card Challenge
Question: Where to be free / Where to let your intuition guide you

Textured Tarot

Reading Summary: Now is a good time to research and work on getting my ducks in a row concerning the note administrative tasks of my home and business. Set my inner snake retentive organization freak free.

It’s going to be important to depend on my intuition when I start to feel like something is missing. The answers are not always clear cut to the naked eye and when you delve deeper, it will be you intuition that needs to lead the way.

Take Away: It’s tax season! Right… so I hate tax season, but it is an excellent opportunity to get organized and get all of one’s ducks in a row. I just need to remember not to allow all that organization and analytical thinking to shut down my intuition.

DECK USED: TEXTURED TAROT

Ruts and Therapists, Oh My!

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Today’s meditation was just over eleven minutes long, and focused on how many something isn’t working for you, whether it be a mindset or a method, sometimes you need to look for a different perspective or a different way of doing things.

We all get stuck in a rut sometimes, and sometimes it’s really hard to think outside the box… But it’s in those times especially that we need to strive for that different outlook or new idea.

Sometimes this means just taking the time to sit down and work out what’s working for you and what isn’t, and other times it means you need to consult others in order to receive fresh perspectives to dwell on and work with. This is, in fact, one of the main tenants are going to therapy, is that you find an outside source that has no vested interest in the situation they can then help find those different perspectives and ways of doing things that you may not of thought of on your own.

Circle Inner Animal Tarot Today’s draw is the Empress card, which is commonly interpreted as the nurturing counterbalance to the Emperor, and a representation of abundance and nature.

The appearance of the Empress in today’s draw is a reminder during my very trying and challenging times today (of which there will be many, as it’s casino day at mom’s house), that it’s okay. Everything is going to be okay.

The card also brings my mind to the hike I did yesterday, and I think keeping my enjoyment of that in the forefront of my mind will help me in moving through today’s trials.

DECK USED: CIRCLE INNER ANIMAL TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: What can I do to continue a cycle of growth throughout the rest of 2020?

Postcards From the Liminal Space Tarot

Reading Summary: Identify issuers rather than burying them and ignoring them (First Card). Reach out for help in dealing with those issues (Second Card). Remember that it’s ok to indulge in something nice once in a while without beating yourself up about it (Third Card).

Take Away: I’m essentially being called out here in reference to the things I do that are not helpful to my own growth and well being. The cards are 100% right of course, but the underlying message here is snout changing up how I do things as a whole. It’s about accepting the negative way I do things as not just not self care, but self destructive behaviors to add to my “watch list”.

DECK USED: POSTCARDS FROM THE LIMINAL SPACE ORACLE

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What am I clinging to that can be let go of without repercussion?

WWII Posters Tarot

Reading Summary: I worry too much over my financial acumen (Page of Pentacles) and if I’m doing things “right” (Six of Wands) and on the right course(Seven of Wands). I’ve plotted a good course (Two of Wands) that will carry me forward and allows me the freedom to explore my creativity (Page of Cups).

Take Away: I stress over my finances on a nearly constant basis. Although this doesn’t keep me from the things I enjoy, as I factor them in, it does cause me a decent amount of stress. Today’s cards indicate that I don’t need to worry so much, as I’m on a good path where Mt finances are concerned.

DECK USED: WWII POSTERS TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: How can I better check in with myself?

The Inversion Tarot in a Tin

Reading Summary: Say no to apathy (Five of Cups and The Sun) and ignorance (The Fool). Depend on others to help (Three of Pentacles).

Take Away: The cards are really drilling down on the “ask for help” aspect lately. I can’t deny it though. It’s something that I’m not entirely comfortable doing. A lot of times I struggle with even how to approach things at all or identifying that I need help in the first place. Still, the cards have made it pretty clear lately that I do.

DECK USED: THE INVERSION TAROT IN A TIN

Go On… Get Going

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PNW Rainforest Today’s meditation was done in the middle of the rainforest, and I didn’t really keep track of how long I was meditating for. I went for a hike earlier today, and while out among the trees and the ferns, I found a place to settle in for a bit and relaxed.

The meditation was obviously not guided, but a combination of breathing exercises and immersion into the senses and surroundings.

The Chariot - Textured TarotToday’s draw is The Chariot card, and was the inspiration for today’s hike. I was trying to decide between taking a nap or going outside to find some fresh air just before doing my cards today, and the chariot cane up.

I took it as a sign that I needed to get outside and take some control over my own self care, so I went for a drive and was drawn to an old stomping ground from my youth. I spent some time hiking down to the beach front park, and then back up again to where I’d left my car.

DECK USED: THE TEXTURED TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: How is the universe inviting me to celebrate that? (Built off of yesterday’s reading)

Circle - Inner Animal Tarot

Reading Summary: Even though you can’t always see it (The High Priestess), you are protected and watched over when you are feeling vulnerable (the owl’s extended wing), so jump on in and explore your emotional depths (Knight of Cups). You’re safe and protected while doing so (The Emperor).

Take Away:  There is definitely a bit of hesitation. And one of those “I dunno what to do” feelings you get when trying something new and unfamiliar. Thank you for being there to watch over me and make sure that my fumbling in the dark to find my way doesn’t result in my breaking my nose in a rake handle. I love you, my stick.

DECK USED:  CIRCLE – INNER ANIMAL TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is your greatest vice you’re not consciously aware of?

Dixit Cards - Daydreams Expansion Pack

Reading Summary: My desire for acceptance is stronger than I realize (First Card), and on an emotional level I subconsciously seek out praise and or accolades (Second Card) to sate that desire (Third Card).

Take Away:  Ouch! Geez… ok yeah, that’s probably true. I’m pretty sure that’s a somewhat common human trait as a whole but it definitely stung a bit hearing it.

DECK USED:  DIXIT CARDS – DAYDREAMS EXPANSION PACK

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: What is a good way for me to stay motivated?

The Textured Tarot

Reading Summary: These cards are about my making the list. It’s about feeling mentally overburdened (Ten of Swords) and finding a new way (Ace of Swords) and you holding me accountable and keeping me on track emotionally (King of Cups).

Take Away:  I think the tasks list is a really good idea, but I think I might need a reminder now and then that when I write things down on it I need to break some of them down into smaller tasks.

DECK USED:  THE TEXTURED TAROT

Don’t Look Back

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Today’s meditation was… non-existent again. It has just been a very messed up day as a whole. I do plan to meditate, but it won’t be until I lie down for bed later tonight.

The World - Spacious TarotToday’s draw is The World card, which is the last card in the Major Arcana before one either slips into the Minor Arcana or returns to The Fool for another cycle. The traditional meanings of this card include completion, accomplishment, and closure on a “grand scheme” level rather than dealing with any one aspect of the human experience.

The appearance of The World card in today’s draw it’s a reassurance that things do come to an end. I’m still feeling the effects of that fear and uncertainty. Sometimes recognition and acknowledgement isn’t enough and it takes some time to find your footing again. That’s okay. As long as I keep looking forward, I’ll get there.

I’m also thinking that the appearance of the world card may be a reference to something changing in my relationship with my mother during this trip. That is not part of the “positive message of the day” though, and more of an intuitive hit off the card.

DECK USED:  SPACIOUS TAROT

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: What challenge have I already overcome this year?

Jeremy Miranda Oracle Deck

Interpretation: I managed to circumvent falling into that deep dark hole of depression. It was a close call, but we were able to pull me out of the descent with that talk last Saturday, and I see here that that lifeline has helped in turning my trajectory away from that dark hole I was slipping toward.

DECK USED:  JEREMY MIRANDA ORACLE CARDS

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Last week I accidentally did Spread #5 instead of the fourth, so this week I am doing Spread #4 so that I get a chance to do both.

What are my deepest desires concerning…

Maregician Tarot

My Home – The Magician and Nine of Hearts – Independence and self-reliance.

My Job – Queen of Clubs and Judgement – Confidence that what I what I do makes a difference.

My Friends – The Emperor – To be strong for them.

My Family – Eight of Clubs – Alacrity within change.

Myself – Page of Spades and The Fool – Lighten up and find the fun.

DECK USED:  THE MAREGICIAN TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: How will I ensure I find time for self-care?

Fey Tarot

Reading Summary:  Remember that I need balance (Temperance) and don’t be so focused upon my ambitions (Knave of Swords) while I’m in the middle of finding my footing in this new emotional landscape (Knave of Chalices).

Take Away:  Meditation really stands out to me in the response from these cards. Specifically that I need to look at meditation as a path to temperance.

The message here in relation to the question, though, is that I need to stay mindful that I don’t get so wrapped up in what I think is important that I lose sight of my own needs.

DECK USED:  FEY TAROT

Generosity

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IMG_1991Today’s meditation was just over twelve minutes long, and was a meditation on fostering loving kindness for both yourself and others, including those that you don’t particularly like.

It spoke about how the practice isn’t so much used as a benefit for those that you dislike for whatever reasons, but helps us in our own feelings and in letting go of negativity through projecting of positivity upon ourselves and others.

I really enjoyed the practice, and it seemed to actually release a couple of tightly wound knots within my chest.  It’s definitely one I will revisit again.

Four of Coins - Efflorescent Tarot (Color Edition)Today’s draw is the Six of Coins, which is a often a representation of harmony in the area of finances, resources, the physical world, and manifestation.   This can often translate into themes of generosity, charity and acceptance of charity when needed, and the balancing of scales in the areas of wealth and fortune through sharing.

I think that the message of today’s card goes really well with today’s guided meditation. Although one is more of an emotional and spiritual theme, and the other based more on the earthly plane, they both speak of generosity.  Together they are a reminder that generosity is not just something that benefits others, but also that benefits the self.  It is healing to the inner self to give to others, and healing as well to be on the other side as the recipient of such gifts.

DECK USED: THE EFFLORESCENT TAROT (COLOR EDITION)

#TarotForGrowthJanuary Challenge Prompt
Question: How is the universe inviting me to express gratitude for that? (Built off of yesterday’s reading.)

Golden Art Nouveau Tarot

Reading Summary: The King of Swords is bracketed on either side by resistance to change.

Take Away:  Don’t be such a stick in the mud.   Yesterday’s read on this topic was about going with the flow of my emotions rather than trying to close them out and allowing the more negative aspects of my addictions to take a step forward as a result.   The cards in today’s reading make it clear that expressing gratitude for the realization of how to go about this path isn’t in thinking about it or saying anything about it, but rather walking the walk and doing the hard parts like a boss while embracing this change.

DECK USED:  GOLDEN ART NOUVEAU TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsJan2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can you take advantage of it? (Built off of yesterday’s reading.)

Wheel of Fortune Tarot by Ivy Feng

Reading Summary:  I shouldn’t worry so much about my creative spark having been stolen away and going dormant as it was forced into submission by the fears and worries I was battling (Ten of Swords atop Seven of Swords).  It’ll come back stronger than ever (King of Wands) and with a vengeance (Eight of Wands) once I find my footing and my confidence starts to bolster once more (Nine of Pentacles).   Oh… look.  I read the cards backwards (realizes it after he’s typed it out).

Take Away:  That letter I received in the fall caused an internal mess that I didn’t even know was festering and growing under the surface all this time.  Over the past few weeks, it had gotten to the point that my creative spark suffered as a result and my creativity in my business became a bit of a chore rather than a joy.   These cards indicate that in having realized this process, to heal from this I need to recognize that things are stable and going to be okay.  I need to reestablish that sense of security, and by doing so my creative spark will find roots with which grow and flourish again.

DECK USED:  WHEEL OF FORTUNE TAROT BY IVY FENG

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge Prompt
Question: How can I treat myself with compassion?

Prediction Tarot

Reading Summary: Take the time to celebrate (Four of Wands) my accomplishments (Seven of Pentacles) with others (Two of Cups) now rather than putting it off until later (The Chariot).

Take Away:  Yesterday, while I was working my ass off on the overflow of unexpected orders, you reminded me to take pride in my work.  Although I didn’t realize it until you  said something, it was something I really needed to hear.   It’s something I need to hear more, because although I have a very hard time accepting anything I do is “good enough”?  Hearing it from someone I love and care about helps.  A lot.

DECK USED:  PREDICTION TAROT