Morning Bonus Read – Difficulties and Safety

The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
If you’re in the states/midwest you’re probably experiencing the lovely winter storm we’re having. If you aren’t, please join us in solidarity with our divination prompt for this week.”

Aves Uncaged Bicycle Playing CardsWhat external circumstances are making my life difficult this week?

Queen of Clubs –  My dedication and drive for the business that I run is being challenged. I have a good deal of experience to work with in this area, and yet I cannot seem to rise above the uncertainty that I’m feeling due to current external circumstances.

How should I stay safe?

Nine of Hearts – Do what feels right in my heart.  I did this earlier in the week with changing the day that I went up to the post office.  I’ve done it, as well, with taking some time off to care for myself as I recover from my depression. This gives me time to practice gratitude for the things in life that bring me contentment and joy rather than staying focused upon those areas that are creating an unhealthy amount of stress.

How should I keep my people safe?

Six of Spades – Give them the room that they need to set themselves to rights, just as I am taking the time I need to set myself to rights.  The ‘time off’ for the business applies to more than just me, and by allowing them to step away from it at the same time I do, it gives them time to decompress and let go of the stress that is riding them as well.

What should I focus on during this time?

Jack of Clubs – Instead of moving forward proactively toward my goals concerning the business, now is a time to step back and allow a bit of distance from that constant push to keep moving forward.  Enjoy the pause instead of pushing for more.  Allow this time to be a time of enjoyment and discovery rather than the slave driver mentality you so often demand of yourself.

DECK USED:  AVES UNCAGED BICYCLE PLAYING CARDS

Day-to-Day Divination

Prompt: “How do you incorporate divination into your day-to-day life?

Ok so first, I guess that I should point out that, although I know a vast array of divination techniques including pendulums, rune casting, charm casting, stick and stone casting, stichomancy (aka bibliomancy with regular books), tasseomancy, dice casting, etc… my main method of divination is (not surprising anyone here) cards. All kinds of cards, but cards all the same. So when I refer to day-to-day divination, it is with this method I refer to, as the others are just occasional use. So, here we go…

1) For the past two years, I have been doing a COTD mental health exercise. My shrink wanted me to start a “daily affirmation” meditation exercise. But none of the affirmation generators I could find were giving me anything I could relate to or even take seriously. I switched it up to a COTD exercise where I ask for “a positive message to carry with me throughout my day and foster perspective” and whatever card comes out I have to find the positive message in the card for me that day, then meditate on it and journal it. Surprisingly, it has helped immensely in my day-to-day life, and also in climbing back out of the dark pit of depression whenever an MDE sneaks up and swallows me whole.

2) Client readings. It’s nearly a daily thing. So… yeah. Client readings.

3) Writing exercises. I often use cards as prompts and as “flavor” in my writing, whether it’s just little short stories, a poem, or long drawn out interactive storytelling with Gideon.

4) Teaching. I teach tarot, lenormand, and cartomancy. At any time over the past decade (or so) I have sustained between 1 and 6 pupils/mentees depending on my workload and energy levels. Not to mention past pupils and mentees that come back from time to time with questions, thoughts, or just a need to discuss something in order to help them wrap their head around it a bit better.

5) I help run a server that is a tarot focused learning environment on Discord. I occasionally teach classes on the server, and I spend a good deal of time there helping others, answering questions, and just hanging out with others with similar interests.

6) Personal readings. I read for myself daily by doing monthly challenges, and I share those readings here on my blog as well as on the server mentioned above. The purpose of this is three fold, as it allows me to check in on myself, it allows Gideon to check in on me and get an in-depth look at how I’m doing emotionally and otherwise, and it provides examples for that learning server I mentioned for those that want or need to observe how others read the cards and their process in doing so.

Thinks… I think that’s it. It’s probably not, but I think it is.

Oh yeah. Lets not forget about deck shopping. I window shop (and often buy) decks on a pretty regular basis.

Morning Bonus Read – The Soul’s Spread

The Soul's Spread - Rusted Lenormand

1. What I should Silence of my Past?

Cross – The pain and emotional burdens of what has been placed upon me by others.  I bear many negative emotions and an intense amount of negative inner narrative that was birthed out of my past.  It’s time to begin more actively working on silencing those inner narratives and emotions spawned within my formative years.

2. What I should Silence of my Environment?

Lily – Again we are lead to themes of family legacy and those that can influence us from our past.  In my current environment the only person that currently fits this particular card is my mother and my aunt.  Both are quite toxic and the advice of the lily in this position is that I need to take what they say (to me and about me) with calm wisdom and a grain of salt.

3. What Fear I should Silence?

Broom – Being beaten down and “swept under the rug”. The Broom is also the Whip and speaks of self flagellation and punishment (among other things).  The fear here is about my inner voice that speaks of me being nothing ending up being true and a self fulfilling prophecy where it goes from a whisper in my mind to something others actually think and feel.  It is an irrational fear.

4. What Fear I should Listen To?

Letter –  Bad news is coming. My intuition has been screaming at me all week.  In fact, I’ve even changed some of my normal schedule to adjust to avoid a few things that I was then hoping might ease those feeling. It’s coming, and I need to be prepared for it.  

5. What in my Environment I should Listen To?

Anchor – As this bad news mentioned above approaches (and eventually arrives) I need to make sure I am focusing upon my environment and keeping things balanced and stable through the disruption. Don’t allow everything to fall apart due to panic or uncertainty, but instead ground yourself and stay that way.

6. What I should Listen To from my Past?

Ship – Keep in mind how I have handled difficulties in the past in my travels up north to the post office. The issues coming feel like they are coming from that direction and the advice here is to pull on my experience with past encounters and experiences to help me through any issues I run across this time around.

7. My Soul’s Song (Inner Drive)?

Bouquet – Remember what lies beyond this week.  Vacation is coming.  Time off is coming.  This is good news and well needed, and will give you the opportunity to relax and enjoy yourself for a bit.  Allow thoughts of this to lighten your heart and give you something to look forward to on the other side of this week’s stresses and turmoil.

DECK USED:  RUSTED LENORMAND

Morning Bonus Read – Managing Depression

Graphic Cheatsheet Playing Cards

Card to represent my depression.

Four of Hearts (Watermelon Bliss) – For a few days in the past week, I found myself at the very bottom of the pit and struggling to stay afloat in the mire that covers the bottom.  But now, I am no longer in that place.  I am still in the pit, and the light is still so very far away, but it is more of a dejected feeling of disinterest than abject misery of soul rotting decay.  Dejection with just a sliver of hope is the current status of my depression.

Something I need to learn about my depression.

Ace of Clubs (Paper Sizes) – The roots of inspiration have no place to dig within the mire of my depression, the soil too loose and heavy like trying to plant seeds within clay or sand.  There is no nutrients to feed those roots, and stability in which to be supported and grow strong.  Inspiration cannot be forced… instead you just wait until you can see the light once more in order to plant those seeds in fertile soil.

An action I can take to help my depression.

Three of Clubs (Sweet Starfruit) – Small steps. Just like taking little nibbles out of a cookie will eventually turn into having ate the entire thing, each small step forward in the darkness will take you a little closer to the light, even when at times you cannot see the light you are moving toward.  Do not allow yourself to stand still and stagnate.  Every small step of self care and healthy choices help you in getting a little closer to the freedom you seek.

How I can show myself more compassion.

Seven of Spades (Waterlily Lake) – Watch out for sneaky inner dialogue slipping in to screw with you when you’re not expecting.  Don’t buy into those lying whispers and negative, snarky judgements that slither through your mind and try to pollute your thinking. You know it’s the depression speaking and not a reflection of reality.

How I can find joy in my life right now.

Four of Spades (Peaceful Droplets) atop Five of Spades (Compassionate Aura) – Set down your anger and your need to strike out, to share your pain in unhealthy ways.  That, too, is your depression trying to control and influence you.  Instead, seek healthy ways to unload your burden and ease your mind so that you can rest more easily without a guilty conscience.

A reason to stay strong.

Ten of Diamonds (The Unknown) – If you give in to the whispers that swirl within you during your depression, you can end up deconstructing every single bit of stability and security you have built up over time for yourself and those that depend upon you.  Instead, stay focused on all that you have accomplished and remember that you are stronger than this… and will make it through to the other side with the help of those you so often help every single day.

DECK USED:  GRAPHIC CHEATSHEET PLAYING CARDS

Morning Bonus Read – Mercury Retrograde

Under the Roses Lenormand - Mercury Rx Tarot Spread

What is the main theme of this Mercury Retrograde for me?

Clouds – This was actually the card I expected to hop out, as it is very clear that the theme of this Mercury Rx for me is all about the current major depressive episode I am going through from its descent to (we can hope) the beginning of climbing back out again.  I don’t have the expectation that I will be able to pull out of it so quickly, but this card gives me hope that my ascent might begin around the same time as the Mercury Rx comes to an end (around February 21st or there about, if I’m not mistaken).

How am I asked to honor my feelings and current Rx vibes?

Whip – It is important to remember that the self flagellation and dark inner narratives in your head are dangerous.  Respect their power and work on coming out on top by acknowledging their existence.  It is only through awareness that you can overcome their influences.  Stay focused on where you want to go and determined to make your way there as you move through the mire of your depression and you will eventually come out the victor over these challenges.

What am I asked to reflect on throughout Mercury Retrograde?

Crossroads – Now is the time to reflect on your choices.  Where do you want to go from here and how do you want to get there?  You have choices, even now in the middle of your depression.  Are you going to focus on doing the healthy things that will help you to climb out of the pit more quickly? Or sink into the mire and allow it to cradle you and eat away at your insides while it pretends to be comforting you?  You need to keep these things in mind as you go through this struggle so that you can recover as smoothly and easily as possible once the clouded darkness begins to ease its grip.

DECK USED:  UNDER THE ROSES LENORMAND

Morning Bonus Read – Responding to Change

The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
The wheel of the year is tipping away from extreme and closer to balance. Explore this theme with your divination tools with some of the following questions.

Whimsy Playing CardsWhat in my life is moving toward balance and away from an extreme at this time?

Jack of Diamonds – You are starting to get control over your negative thoughts and bring them back to center. This isn’t so much about the “bringing them back to center” part, which will happen on its own, but in taking that first step of awareness to what is going on and the conscious understanding that that negative inner narrative is your brain lying to you and not a reflection of reality.  As they say, being aware of the problem is the first step.

How is this affecting me mentally?

Six of Diamonds atop Queen of Diamonds – It is allowing kinder thoughts to have room to replace the abusive bitch in your head.  It is allowing you to be more generous with yourself and with what you are going through right now.

How is this affecting me emotionally?

King of Diamonds – It allows you to find the stability that you have been lacking, and see that there is a path forward.  You may not be able to grasp control at this time, but it gives you the ability to plan and strategize, which creates hope and allows you to realize that there is a light at the end of the tunnel even if you can’t see it just yet.

How is this affecting me physically?

Four of Hearts atop Five of Clubs – You are fighting against your need for the things that could help you feel more physically well.  The opportunities to get out and hike, or spend time in nature are being rejected as the depression makes everything feel unappealing.

How can I respond in a healthy way?

Three of Spades – Ride it out.  This is what is happening right now and you know from your past experiences with it that it’s a part of life.  And temporary.  Let it happen, ride it out.

DECK USED:  WHIMSY PLAYING CARDS