cartomancy reading

Morning Bonus Read – State of Being

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“Join me this week in my very simple state of being draw.”

Edo Tokugawa Karuta Playing CardsHow am I doing emotionally this week?

Ace of Spades atop Eight of Hearts – Too much in my head and it’s not going well for that reason.  The time off has been good for me, but I need to stop spending so much time thinking on the new processes and methods that have been changing around me over the past couple weeks and just let things flow and settle and worry about them later.

What am I going through mentally this week?

Jack of Spades – This is the problem that is causing my emotions so much turmoil. The problem is that I am used to being able to learn what I need to know when I want to know it.  Waiting is (figuratively) killing me because I can’t get the information I need and I can’t start the adjustment process that will need to take place.  For this reason I’m agitated and spending a good deal of time “all in my head” instead of allowing myself to relax and be at ease.

What should I focus on physically this week?

Six of Clubs – Get out into nature and find my balance.  I have the ability to ground and center, to find my balance, and to find peace… but I need to actually get my ass out into nature and do it.  An hour was not enough… do more.  Don’t let the crutch hold you back because you know damned well there’s plenty of places you can go to enjoy that connection where showing up with a crutch and a gimp foot won’t be a problem.

DECK USED: EDO TOKUGAWA KARUTA PLAYING CARDS

Morning Bonus Read – Changing Seasons

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Changing Seasons Spread - Hoping Soul Lenormand

Card to represent this new season of my life.

Heart – A thawing and rising of warmth as the ice that the depression has encased your emotions within begins to melt and ease.  Contentment and feelings of love and warmth return as the depression is being left behind. The new season that is rising up at this time in your life is one of return… of life and love and emotion that was once shut down is now being given the freedom to grow and thrive again as you begin to find the light you’ve been striving for.

How will I change in this new season of my life?

Clover – Good stuff lies ahead with a return of a more optimistic outlook and the ability to get in touch with and feel happiness once more.  The closer you get to the edge of that pit of depression and pulling yourself out of it, the better you will feel.

Something important I will learn.

Cross – There is reinforcement in the journey, and in the familiarity of the slippery slope and the climb back out. In repeating this journey it is not something new that is learned, but rather an assurance that the depression is indeed temporary and will be again in the future when it eventually returns as it has in the past.

Something I need to embrace.

Broom – Finding balance again will not be easy.  The climb out of the pit is hard, and there’s a lot of struggle involved.  It’s important to accept that there will be slippery spots in the climb, places where your hand or foot might slip.  Remember that the pain is a part of the journey and keep your ass moving upward.

A challenge I will face this season.

Scythe – When to let go. Too often you spend too much time fighting the good fight when the battle is already over.  Instead of being so rigid, you will have the opportunity in this season of your life to let go more easily, to let things flow more smoothly, and accept change without the resistance and struggle you habitually put forth at these times.

A lesson I must learn from this challenge.

Cloud – To live with uncertainty rather than fight against it. The unknown can be terrifying, or it can simply be something you’ve yet to discover.  In letting go of the fight against change, you will learn to better accept the unknown and not let it give rise to your anxiety.

How this challenge will make me a better person.

Lily – You will find yourself feeling calmer and more peaceful, and able to handle changes in a more mature and measured way. Remember that if you don’t take the lesson and learn from it, you don’t end up with the boon at the end when you grow from the experience.  Growth is very much the boon of this particular lesson.

DECK USED:  HOPING SOUL LENORMAND

Morning Bonus Read – Difficulties and Safety

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The prompt for this reading came from one of my Discord servers and is as follows:
“If you’re in the states/midwest you’re probably experiencing the lovely winter storm we’re having. If you aren’t, please join us in solidarity with our divination prompt for this week.”

Aves Uncaged Bicycle Playing CardsWhat external circumstances are making my life difficult this week?

Queen of Clubs –  My dedication and drive for the business that I run is being challenged. I have a good deal of experience to work with in this area, and yet I cannot seem to rise above the uncertainty that I’m feeling due to current external circumstances.

How should I stay safe?

Nine of Hearts – Do what feels right in my heart.  I did this earlier in the week with changing the day that I went up to the post office.  I’ve done it, as well, with taking some time off to care for myself as I recover from my depression. This gives me time to practice gratitude for the things in life that bring me contentment and joy rather than staying focused upon those areas that are creating an unhealthy amount of stress.

How should I keep my people safe?

Six of Spades – Give them the room that they need to set themselves to rights, just as I am taking the time I need to set myself to rights.  The ‘time off’ for the business applies to more than just me, and by allowing them to step away from it at the same time I do, it gives them time to decompress and let go of the stress that is riding them as well.

What should I focus on during this time?

Jack of Clubs – Instead of moving forward proactively toward my goals concerning the business, now is a time to step back and allow a bit of distance from that constant push to keep moving forward.  Enjoy the pause instead of pushing for more.  Allow this time to be a time of enjoyment and discovery rather than the slave driver mentality you so often demand of yourself.

DECK USED:  AVES UNCAGED BICYCLE PLAYING CARDS

Morning Bonus Read – The Soul’s Spread

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The Soul's Spread - Rusted Lenormand

1. What I should Silence of my Past?

Cross – The pain and emotional burdens of what has been placed upon me by others.  I bear many negative emotions and an intense amount of negative inner narrative that was birthed out of my past.  It’s time to begin more actively working on silencing those inner narratives and emotions spawned within my formative years.

2. What I should Silence of my Environment?

Lily – Again we are lead to themes of family legacy and those that can influence us from our past.  In my current environment the only person that currently fits this particular card is my mother and my aunt.  Both are quite toxic and the advice of the lily in this position is that I need to take what they say (to me and about me) with calm wisdom and a grain of salt.

3. What Fear I should Silence?

Broom – Being beaten down and “swept under the rug”. The Broom is also the Whip and speaks of self flagellation and punishment (among other things).  The fear here is about my inner voice that speaks of me being nothing ending up being true and a self fulfilling prophecy where it goes from a whisper in my mind to something others actually think and feel.  It is an irrational fear.

4. What Fear I should Listen To?

Letter –  Bad news is coming. My intuition has been screaming at me all week.  In fact, I’ve even changed some of my normal schedule to adjust to avoid a few things that I was then hoping might ease those feeling. It’s coming, and I need to be prepared for it.  

5. What in my Environment I should Listen To?

Anchor – As this bad news mentioned above approaches (and eventually arrives) I need to make sure I am focusing upon my environment and keeping things balanced and stable through the disruption. Don’t allow everything to fall apart due to panic or uncertainty, but instead ground yourself and stay that way.

6. What I should Listen To from my Past?

Ship – Keep in mind how I have handled difficulties in the past in my travels up north to the post office. The issues coming feel like they are coming from that direction and the advice here is to pull on my experience with past encounters and experiences to help me through any issues I run across this time around.

7. My Soul’s Song (Inner Drive)?

Bouquet – Remember what lies beyond this week.  Vacation is coming.  Time off is coming.  This is good news and well needed, and will give you the opportunity to relax and enjoy yourself for a bit.  Allow thoughts of this to lighten your heart and give you something to look forward to on the other side of this week’s stresses and turmoil.

DECK USED:  RUSTED LENORMAND

Morning Bonus Read – Managing Depression

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Graphic Cheatsheet Playing Cards

Card to represent my depression.

Four of Hearts (Watermelon Bliss) – For a few days in the past week, I found myself at the very bottom of the pit and struggling to stay afloat in the mire that covers the bottom.  But now, I am no longer in that place.  I am still in the pit, and the light is still so very far away, but it is more of a dejected feeling of disinterest than abject misery of soul rotting decay.  Dejection with just a sliver of hope is the current status of my depression.

Something I need to learn about my depression.

Ace of Clubs (Paper Sizes) – The roots of inspiration have no place to dig within the mire of my depression, the soil too loose and heavy like trying to plant seeds within clay or sand.  There is no nutrients to feed those roots, and stability in which to be supported and grow strong.  Inspiration cannot be forced… instead you just wait until you can see the light once more in order to plant those seeds in fertile soil.

An action I can take to help my depression.

Three of Clubs (Sweet Starfruit) – Small steps. Just like taking little nibbles out of a cookie will eventually turn into having ate the entire thing, each small step forward in the darkness will take you a little closer to the light, even when at times you cannot see the light you are moving toward.  Do not allow yourself to stand still and stagnate.  Every small step of self care and healthy choices help you in getting a little closer to the freedom you seek.

How I can show myself more compassion.

Seven of Spades (Waterlily Lake) – Watch out for sneaky inner dialogue slipping in to screw with you when you’re not expecting.  Don’t buy into those lying whispers and negative, snarky judgements that slither through your mind and try to pollute your thinking. You know it’s the depression speaking and not a reflection of reality.

How I can find joy in my life right now.

Four of Spades (Peaceful Droplets) atop Five of Spades (Compassionate Aura) – Set down your anger and your need to strike out, to share your pain in unhealthy ways.  That, too, is your depression trying to control and influence you.  Instead, seek healthy ways to unload your burden and ease your mind so that you can rest more easily without a guilty conscience.

A reason to stay strong.

Ten of Diamonds (The Unknown) – If you give in to the whispers that swirl within you during your depression, you can end up deconstructing every single bit of stability and security you have built up over time for yourself and those that depend upon you.  Instead, stay focused on all that you have accomplished and remember that you are stronger than this… and will make it through to the other side with the help of those you so often help every single day.

DECK USED:  GRAPHIC CHEATSHEET PLAYING CARDS

Morning Bonus Read – Mercury Retrograde

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Under the Roses Lenormand - Mercury Rx Tarot Spread

What is the main theme of this Mercury Retrograde for me?

Clouds – This was actually the card I expected to hop out, as it is very clear that the theme of this Mercury Rx for me is all about the current major depressive episode I am going through from its descent to (we can hope) the beginning of climbing back out again.  I don’t have the expectation that I will be able to pull out of it so quickly, but this card gives me hope that my ascent might begin around the same time as the Mercury Rx comes to an end (around February 21st or there about, if I’m not mistaken).

How am I asked to honor my feelings and current Rx vibes?

Whip – It is important to remember that the self flagellation and dark inner narratives in your head are dangerous.  Respect their power and work on coming out on top by acknowledging their existence.  It is only through awareness that you can overcome their influences.  Stay focused on where you want to go and determined to make your way there as you move through the mire of your depression and you will eventually come out the victor over these challenges.

What am I asked to reflect on throughout Mercury Retrograde?

Crossroads – Now is the time to reflect on your choices.  Where do you want to go from here and how do you want to get there?  You have choices, even now in the middle of your depression.  Are you going to focus on doing the healthy things that will help you to climb out of the pit more quickly? Or sink into the mire and allow it to cradle you and eat away at your insides while it pretends to be comforting you?  You need to keep these things in mind as you go through this struggle so that you can recover as smoothly and easily as possible once the clouded darkness begins to ease its grip.

DECK USED:  UNDER THE ROSES LENORMAND