Botan Tarot

Celebrating Accomplishments

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Today’s meditation was not done… because they were testing the fire alarms in my building today and if I can’t meditate through some nutbag on the street singing about herself being a prophet of God, I sure as hell can’t meditate through the fire alarm going off every 2 minutes for hours on end.  At least not and actually find the meditation peaceful and positive instead of an exercise in frustration.

Botan Tarot - The WorldToday’s draw is the World card. This is the final card in the Major Arcana, which means that (as with all Major Arcana cards) it deals with an overall message or life path situation rather than a single aspect of the human experience. Traditionally, the World card is a representation of coming to the end of a long journey, and the crossing over from all that you have learned and gathered through that journey into a new existence and new journey on the other side of things.  It is a recognition of accomplishment, rebirth, and reincarnation.

What I see in the imagery of today’s card is more than just recognition of this transition, but a joyous celebration of it.

The message in today’s card is that it’s important to celebrate your accomplishments.  When you reach the end of a journey, take a moment to enjoy having made it to where you’re at, and a moment to look back on all that you have accomplished.  Let go of the negative, and dance yourself forward into the future with optimism and an eagerness for the next adventure to come.

DECK USED:  BOTAN TAROT

#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
Question: What will keep me motivated to evolve spiritually?

Telluric Tarot

Reading Summary: Determination to move forward (The Chariot) regardless of the fact that inner demons may try to stand in the way (Nine of Swords) of my enjoyment of the journey (The Fool). Fear of the unknown (The Moon) is the only thing that keeps me from enjoying a piece of that child like joy (Six of Cups).

Take Away: The motivation indicated in these cards is twofold.  First is to tap into the formidable amount of determination and willpower that I possess to move forward regardless of the nay-saying that my inner dialogue may occasionally come up with.  The second motivation is the reward of moving forward.  It’s about focusing on the prize and allowing that prize (in this case, joy and pleasure along my spiritual path) to motivate me into continuing forward even at the times when I’m feeling uncertain and fearful.

DECK USED:  TELLURIC TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Grab a spread of your choice that you’ve been curious about but haven’t tried yet… and give it a go!

Lonely Dreamer Tarot

Has this ancestor tried to communicate with me before?
Nine of Swords and Ten of Cups

Yes, in times of worry and stress they have come to me under different guises in an effort to bolster me emotionally.

What wisdom can be learned from this ancestor?
Four of Wands and Temperance

Balance and stability in my life and upon my path through the use of moderation.

How can this wisdom be applied moving forward?
The World

What do you want to carry forward? And what do you want to leave behind? If I want to apply these lessons and wisdom moving forward, it’s important to take time to examine these things and make choices that encourage growth and development into a better person.

A message from this ancestor about what I’m not seeing.
Judgement

I am not paying enough attention to just how much damage my negative inner narrative and it’s harsh judgements are hurting me.  It’s time to really examine this issue and recognize the unhealthy vulnerability it creates within me.

How can I honor this ancestor?
Two of Swords

Open your eyes and pay attention.  They are willing to help in my making of good decisions and choices, but they aren’t willing to hold my hand for it. I have to be open to seeing and fully grasping what’s going on, and willing to make the hard decisions when they come.

A message of love from this ancestor.
The Magician

You are strong and powerful and have everything you need, only you need to be willing to utilize it.

DECK USED:  LONELY DREAMER TAROT

Lionharts #AstroTarotChallenge
Question: What do I leave behind moving past September?

20th Century Tarot

Reading Summary: I’m leaving behind the ability to sit on my laurels (Nine of Cups) and just have a good time (The Sun) and take things slow and easy (Knight of Pentacles Rx) with no drive or push behind me (The Chariot Rx).

Take Away: The slower pace and relaxation of the summer has all been well and good, and very nice.  But it’s time to pick myself up by my bootstraps and get my ass moving on the shit that needs to be done.

DECK USED:  20TH CENTURY TAROT

Turn It Inward

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Today’s meditation was skipped in the interest of the fact that I overslept and my day started far to late, especially for an order prep day. I definitely felt the difference of not doing the meditation today tho, and plan to pick it back up tomorrow.

Botan Tarot - The EmpressToday’s draw is the Empress. This is the third card in the Major Arcana, which means that (as with all Major Arcana cards) it deals with an overall message or life path situation rather than a single aspect of the human experience. Traditionally, the Empress card is a representation of nurturing energy that is grounded and giving, but strong and stable.  Her appearance is an indication of generous abundance, sacred femininity, and is associated with mother nature.

Like so many cards in this deck, it is not one aspect of the card that stands out to me above all others today, but rather the “atmosphere” of the card created by different elements.  It’s the grace in the tilt of the woman’s head and the vulnerability of her bare shoulders and neck, it is the quiet sensuality in the slightly parted lips, the wealth in the earrings she wears, and abundance of nature’s harvest in her hair.

There is softness here, and strength.  Abundance.  She looks like she is just about to lift those lowered eyelids and give a warm and gentle smile of understanding.  I would bet that her eyes are warm, no matter what color they end up being.

Kindness comes from within.  This is the message in today’s card. You can be kind and caring, loving and nurturing, and not be a pushover or a doormat.  It is the strength added into these qualities that allows someone to nurture not just others, but to know when they themselves need nurturing as well.   Be generous not just to others… but to yourself as well.

DECK USED:  BOTAN TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Goal / Pros / Cons/ Obstacles / Solutions

The Painted TarotGoal – Four of Swords – To allow myself more rest and recovery.

Pros – Alchemist (Magician) – The pros of this goal are that the rest and recovery allows me the time to recover, so that I can think clearly and move with precision, using my tools to the best of my ability.

Cons – Moon – The cons of getting more rest and recovery is that I don’t get as much done, and I don’t have a much time to get the things done that I need to get done… which creates a feeling of uncertainty.

Obstacles – Lovers – The obstacles in this are that no matter which choice I make, it’s a choice for my benefit… less rest and more work furthers my goals and business.  More rest and less work furthers my health and well-being.   Both are extremely important to me, and so it makes it feel like there is no good choice.

Solutions – Nine of Swords – Stop worrying so damn much. The worry is yet another waste time, and it also causes extra exhaustion which then creates a need for more rest and recovery and therefore less work gets done as a result.

DECK USED:  THE PAINTED TAROT

Don’t Be a Sad Sack

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I took a break from… well, pretty much everything for a couple of days. So I have nothing to say here other than I’m getting back on track now (Sunday September 27th).   I -did- meditate yesterday… but honestly?  I can’t remember a thing about it other than the fact that I did it.

Botan Tarot - Five of CupsToday’s draw is the Five of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of disappointments, regrets, and all around an attitude of apathy and/or pessimism. 

Honestly?  Talk about calling my ass out right?  Because I’ve been a cranky ass sad sack motherf’k’r for the past few days.   I know it’s the drop and I get that, but jesus I’m just a mess and it’s definitely showing.

The message in today’s card is about looking beyond the crap that’s dragging you down. It’s about gratitude and appreciation for that beautiful stack of four unbroken cups behind the one broken one that has snagged your attention.

An echo from my earlier bonus reading this morning… today’s message is about not allowing yourself to sink into negative emotions and thoughts.  Feel them, and then move beyond them to appreciate what you have that is good and positive and makes you happy.

DECK USED:  BOTAN TAROT

#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
Question: How to better connect with my intuition?

Tarot of Reincarnation

Reading Summary:  Decisive action to make things better (Eight of Hearts), trust in the tools at your disposal (Magician), and release of the certainties that are not serving me (Tower).

Take Away:  This is about the balance I seek between my emotional balance and my work balance for the busy season ahead.  The cards here are telling me to let go of the feelings and certainty I have about that I have to choose one or the other.  I have all of the tools at my disposal to allow myself to adapt and move forward into a better future. 

The reading here is about trust.  Trust that I’m on the right path.  Trust in my intuition and its messages.  It’s about not allowing my fears and uncertainties to cloud my intuition’s voice. 

DECK USED:  TAROT OF REINCARNATION

#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is something new I should try?

Archeon TarotReading Summary: Stop being such a sad sack (Five of Cups).  Take control of your inner narrative (King of Swords) and turn that shit around into positive progress (Knight of Pentacles).

Take Away:  There is a reason that this is “something new” to try.  It’s because that negative depression and pessimistic voice in my head is familiar and… that familiarity is comfortable even if it is not good for me.  Familiarity and comfort, in this instance, is the opposite of good for me and thus, the “something new” to try is both good for me and uncomfortable… but needs to be done.

That something new?  Is taking control of my inner narrative rather than allowing myself to sink into it.  The Knight of Pentacles says that in this being something unfamiliar, it might take a little time and practice to get it right… but it’s still good progress, no matter how uncomfortable or how long it takes.

DECK USED:  ARCHEON TAROT

Lionharts #AstroTarotChallenge
Question: How have those who I surround myself with by choice contributed to my personal journey and values?

Art Nouveau Tarot c. 1989

Reading Summary: They have taught me to be more careful in what I say and how I say it (Three of Swords atop King of Swords Rx) when in the middle of speaking on those things I believe in (Seven of Staves), which creates a far more stable and strong foundation with which to approach from (King of Staves).

Take Away:  One of the most valuable lessons I have learned from those that I choose to surround myself with is how to communicate better with others. Communication, for me, often feels like a field full of landmines that I need to cross to get to the other side. Each word a footstep with the potential to blow up in my face.

As I’ve gotten older, those around me have helped me in learning how to present and discuss things in ways that are less confrontational or aggressive, which helps a lot in my communication with others in all aspects of my life.

DECK USED:  ART NOUVEAU TAROT c. 1989

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I stop taking criticism personally?

Samiramay Tarot

Reading Summary: Take control of your reactions through willpower (The Chariot). Don’t be so quick to jump to a pessimistic interpretation (Five of Cups) that ends up hurting my feelings (Three of Swords).

Take Away:  This is about slowing down and making sure that I’m looking at things from a more impersonal “out of my own shoes” view.  I need to remember that criticism also has an opportunity within it for improvement in most cases.  So instead of allowing criticism to strike at my heart with words, I need to look instead at what benefits and positive messages I can take from the criticism being given.

DECK USED:  SAMIRAMAY TAROT

Respecting Life’s Fragility

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I took a break from… well, pretty much everything for a couple of days.  So I have nothing to say here other than I’m getting back on track now (Sunday September 27th).

Botan Tarot - Page of SwordsToday’s draw is the Page of Swords, which traditionally is a representation of a receptive omega energy, personality, or person in the areas of one’s thoughts, intellect, education, communication, and instinct.  This often translates into someone on a journey of learning in some way that has to do with education or communication.

You know how when you’re young, you have this sense of invincibility?  It’s like… when you’re young, life just hasn’t beat you down enough yet to make you realize just how vulnerable (and valuable) life is.  It’s something we learn over time and as your life tries to slip through your fingers and fly away, you come to appreciate it a bit more… and a bit more. 

This is lack of awareness of the value of one’s life is what I see in this card’s imagery today.  It’s in the tilt of the woman’s head and the expression on her face, as well as in the ready grip on a still sheathed sword. It is in the impression of feathers that are not really present in the imagery and yet my eyes insist are there.

Today’s card’s message is about the fleeting nature of life, and how important it is to value what we have.  It’s about impulsivity, and the a warning about what we can lose through naivety and lack of awareness of just how delicate and fragile the thread of one’s life truly is.

DECK USED:  BOTAN TAROT

Value Through Time

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Today’s meditation was the site of an impromptu nap today.  Which is to say that I did intend to meditate but I only  made it in a few minutes before I ended up dozing off into a nap.

What I wanna know?  Is how in the hell I can go from being all the way down to the wall with my legs propped up on the wall, fall asleep, and somehow wake up stretched full length on the bed.  How did I manage to move all the way down the bed in order to stretch out without waking up?

Botan Tarot - Ten of CoinsToday’s draw is bunnies!!  No, just kidding. I mean not kidding because it is bunnies, but that’s… right, okay.  Anyway.   Today’s draw is the Ten of Coins, which is traditionally a representation of satisfactory outcomes, contentment, and sharing the wealth you have worked so hard for with your loved ones to create fulfillment for all. It’s about wealth that goes beyond money and can include one’s health, home, stability, security, as well as their resources and manifestations.

This card is so damned cute, but what really stands out to me in this card today is the moon phases that run up along the left side of the card from the new moon at the bottom left all the way up to the full moon at the upper right corner.

The appearance of this cycle portrayed in this card speaks to me of manifestation over time.  The new moon is the seed of new things, the beginning energy that grows and matures over the length of the moon’s cycle until it is at full power upon the full moon’s appearance, just as when you are building security and comfort, you have to start at the beginning and work over time to accrue what you need to get to where you want to be in life.

The message in this card today is about how the things worth having take time to accomplish.  Nothing easy is as valued as those things you work for, strive for, build over time, and accomplish through hard work and patience.

DECK USED:  BOTAN TAROT

#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
Question: What needs to be expressed?

20th Century Tarot

Reading Summary: Passionate pursuit (Page of Wands) of my man (King of Cups) is providing me needed respite (Four of Swords) over new opportunities (Ace of Pentacles).

Take Away:  In other words, enjoy this time with Gideon while you can. When I pulled these cards I thought that it would be an answer on what I need to express… but it turns out it’s something that needed to be expressed to me. These cards were meant to remind me that today is our last day to enjoy any decently large bulk of time together before he goes on vacation.  I missed this message first thing when I drew these cards, although I did catch the part about valuing and enjoying the time I have.

The thing is? I’m extremely good at creating opportunities for myself, especially when it comes to creative pursuits and making money. So it can be hard for me to step back and rest, recover, and truly enjoy that respite instead of struggling against it and my nature to move forward and do more.   What I needed to hear was that I need to step back, take a breath, and enjoy this last day of freedom.

DECK USED:  20TH CENTURY TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Your Addiction / How to introduce Moderation

Samiramay TarotMy Addiction – Allowing myself to get so wrapped up in my passions (Queen of Wands) that the rest of the world (and the rest of myself) falls away (King of Cups Rx).

How to Introduce Moderation – Focus on the positive things you’ve done (Six of Wands) and stay vigilant against letting old habits resurface (Seven of Wands).

Take Away – I was actually expecting a different addiction to come up in these cards today. *LOL* This one works, tho. Anyway, it’s absolutely true. When I become involved in a project, I close myself off from the world and even from myself. During this time, I exist in this quiet grey area where the only thing that exists is the endeavor I’m working on, and the passage of time in block like increments.  This allows me to work very quickly for huge chunks of time without feeling much in the way of negative effects physically or emotionally. 

And… it’s not healthy. At all. This year has been all about trying to shift me into a place where I can get through the holiday season without doing that, so it makes sense that it would come up now in this reading.

The cards here indicate that the key to making sure that I don’t fall back into this unhealthy habit is to keep in mind just how good I have done this year at changing my work process and how I deal with not just stress but pressure… and stay vigilant against the appearance of warning signs that this old habit has started to try and sneak back in.

DECK USED:  SAMIRAMAY TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: Do I feel I deserve love, compassion, and empathy?

Telluric Tarot

Do I Feel I Deserve Love?
Queen of Swords – Lepidolite & Gentian

Lepidolite is a stone that contains high levels of lithium… an element that is used as a medication to stabilize moods. Gentian root is used to help in an array of digestion problems. Together, what I see in this combination is the need to take what creates your torment and turmoil and work through it.  Consider what has happened and come to peace with it.

Examine the past to find strength in the present is the theme of this card. When I examine my past, I see that those in my past had made love something that is conditional. In the present, through Gideon, my sister, and Z I have discovered that true and abiding love is anything but.  It’s not something to be earned, but is something that we all deserve, no matter who we are or how worthy we feel of it.

Do I Feel I Deserve Empathy?
Nine of Cups – Emerald & Rose

Both emeralds and roses are highly valued for their beauty throughout history, and are both strongly associated with themes to do with romantic love and domestic bliss.

Like love, empathy is something that everyone deserves but very few receive.  The card here and blend of emerald and rose upon it indicate that I am very happy with where I am in the scheme of empathy. I am receiving what I need to in order to work through my trauma, and those that support me do so in the ways I need… including providing empathy when I need it.

Do I Feel I Deserve Compassion?
Eight of Pentacles – Garnet & Cherry

Garnet and cherry wood have something in common that most perhaps do not realize, but actually is the basis of their combination on this card.  They are both excellent foundational building blocks to create something of great quality and beauty.

These “strong bones” (as they would say of a house) are a reflection of the foundation and strength that I have within me that allows me to weather one storm after another.

That said… Do I deserve compassion?  Absolutely.  But I am strong enough to continue on regardless of if others choose to bestow it upon me or not.

Being mute, this is something that you notice often is either present in your interactions with others or is not. In those that give it, there is an underlying strength that runs deep within.  Being able to express compassion without pity is a beautiful thing, and something that is very, very rare.

In this way, this card reflects not just my own strong foundation, but also the strength of others that possess this rare quality.

DECK USED:  TELLURIC TAROT

Emotions Are Not a Weakness

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Today’s meditation was curtailed by a woman on the sidewalk outside singing to strangers about God.

Yes, yes… I know that when you meditate, you should be able to allow the sounds and distractions around you to flow through you and around you without disturbing you… but you know what?  Some crackpot chick telling people she’s the mouthpiece of God and that everything coming out of her mouth is directly from the Almighty then caterwauling to any that will listen and all that don’t wanna?  That was just impossible for me to meditate through.

Poor homeless Larry that decided to talk to her go the serenade of his life and I bet he’ll think twice about talking to strangers in the future.

Botan Tarot - King of CupsToday’s draw is the King of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of a projective alpha energy, personality, or person in the areas of one’s emotions, relationships, creativity, and intuition. This translates into an energy of authority or an authority figure that is in touch with the feelings and emotions of those around them and uses that knowledge to support and lead.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the dragon tattoo.   It is a reminder, yes?  Those that are in tuned to the emotions of others can often come off as wishy-washy or weak.  Empathy can often come off as weak.  But it is not weak, it is a strength all its own.

The message in today’s card is that being open to your emotions does not make you weak.   It allows you to be in tune with the world around you through understanding mercurial elements within yourself and others.  Those with a deep connection to their emotions and the empathy to relate to others on an emotional level are just as capable of being fierce and powerful as those that close themselves off.  Perhaps, they are even stronger.

DECK USED:  BOTAN TAROT

#Zentember #LovelyHealing Challenge Prompt
Question: What needs healing on my throat chakra?

Hardy Tarot

Reading Summary:  With a central theme of cause and effect (Justice) we see that too much rest and reflection (Four of Swords) leads to a situation where you do not want to move forward and end up not just procrastinating, but outright trying to ignore what’s going on around you (Eight of Swords).

Take Away:  I mentioned this the other day when speaking with Gideon. The fact that I feel that having taken time to rest and relax has made me feel like I’m lazy and made it hard for me to “dive into” my work in the way that I’m accustomed to.   But is this really laziness?  Is this really a refusal to deal?  Or is it an adjustment period where I’m learning how to do things in a different way?  The uncertainty here is something I struggle with.

DECK USED:  HARDY TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsSep2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Do Spread #1
Why am I doing so much procrastination when it comes to my holiday prep?

Tarot of Alexander Daniloff 2012Reading Summary: Because I really don’t wanna juggle more on my plate (Two of Pentacles). I would rather ignore that it’s coming than deal with it (Six of Swords). Not to mention I don’t want to give up time with Gideon (The Lovers Rx).

The first two cards are connected through color schemes, making the juggling of the Two of Pentacles and the “not wanting to deal with it and run away instead” of the Six of Swords connected to each other and intertwined.

The bright red of The Lovers card combined with the lack of cooler tones causes this card to be the outlier.  The design of the card itself in its reversed position looks like a double Hanged Man imagery creating the impression that both Gideon and myself (as lovers) will have to go through a time of delay and change of perception.   The red in this position feels like flames, which brings to mind the holiday rush… which relates to this card in that it is roasting the two hanged men.  Pressure… heat… strain.

Take Away:  Gideon and I will get through the holiday rush together, even if there will be a lot of pressure and struggle involved (as there is every year).  The procrastination stems more directly from the struggle I’m having with not allowing bad habits from the past to sneak in and hijack my efforts for doing things differently this year.

DECK USED:  TAROT BY ALEXANDER DANILOFF 2012 IV EDITION

Lionharts #AstroTarotChallenge
Question: What lesson does 2020 have for my soul’s journey?

Archeon Tarot

Reading Summary: You reap what you sow (Justice), so make sure that you are working towards fulfillment (Nine of Pentacles on fire) instead of just defending what you already have (Seven of Wands).

Take Away:  I know that I chose the topic for the Sunday spread for today as my procrastination, but… I really didn’t expect for all of my readings today to actually end up being on that subject.  *LOL*

The cards here indicate that the lesson 2020 has for me is that I need to do more than just defend what I have.  I need to make sure that I’m actively reaching for more. Does it have to be the “more” that I’ve always pushed for in the past?  No.  That level of push was too much. but I do need to continue to reach for something more.  Stagnancy is not healthy.

DECK USED:  ARCHEON TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I best put myself first?

Tarot of the Secret Forest

Reading Summary:  Fucking around (The Fool) means lack of ingenuity (Three of Coins Rx). Gather up your friends (Three of Cups) and charge head first toward your goals (Knight of Pentacles). Don’t rush and accept that it might be slow going (Knight of Coins and Lovers Rx).

Take Away:  I can put myself first at this time by getting back on the path of progress. It’s okay to move slow, but just as another reading today has already stated… stagnancy is not healthy.  So make sure that I’m using the help and support available to me, and get moving.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SECRET FOREST