Bonestone & EarthFlesh Tarot

❤️ Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

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These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

Self Care Saturday Tarot Reading with the Bonestone & Earthflesh Tarot and Echoes of the Wood Oracle

Earth – The Emperor – Sometimes when you take on the mantle of leadership, even though there are others that follow you, you still feel like you’re alone. It’s important to remember that when you lead well, others will be there to pick you up when you need it.

Air – Queen of Swords – It’s absolutely always okay to stand up for what matters to you. Method is important, though. Use strategy to get things to go your way instead of just “being a bitch”. That sass and spark attitude is not always the shortcut that it seems like it’d be.

Water – King of Cups – Emotional support from others, especially from Gideon, is going to be a high priority this week in order to keep your emotional balance. Make sure you are reaching out for that support when you need it.

Fire – The World atop Death – Sometimes endings are just that… endings. Other times they are a doorway to something else. Try considering endings as a liminal space. There’s a lot of potential there if you’re open to it.

Waning – Harvest and Germination – This week ahead isn’t about what you can get out of it, nor about what you can begin to sprout in your life.

Waxing – Song and Frost – Instead, put your focus on preparing for a time of dormancy and keeping things lighthearted.

Take Away – The depression you just started to recover from is still looking for a way in. You need to take care to lean on your support instead of trying to shoulder everything yourself. Look for ways to lift yourself up, and be open to experiences that you will enjoy.  These experiences will help you in your recovery and in recuperation as well.

DECKS USED: BONESTONE & EARTHFLESH TAROT AND ECHOES OF THE WOOD ORACLE

Motivations and Sneaky Shit

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Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and was a guided meditation from the Calm app with an interval timer added in for my piriformis stretches.  

The topic of today’s meditation was about closure.  The example used was about romantic relationships, but honestly?  I think the need for closure goes beyond just romantic relationships and can extend to friendships and even acquaintances sometimes. Something said in the meditation about how some people disappear from your life without warning or a trace (triggering in many that need for closure that they didn’t get) brought up a different topic for me.

I am one of those people… one of those friends that sociable people often consider a “bad friend”. I disappear for months at a time… then reappear back in other people’s lives as if no time has passed at all. Sort of like starting a conversation, walking out of the room for an hour, and then just picking the conversation back up exactly where ti was left when you return to the room again.

This is something that a lot of people don’t understand, I’ve found. But honestly? To me? It doesn’t -feel- as if any time has passed. That gap of time and absence? I don’t see it and I don’t realize it’s there.  It’s like, because I think of these friends, sometimes on a daily basis, they are not absent even though I might not be in contact with them. To me, they are still in my life. Still present. (Other times, I just lose time and have no clue that so much time has passed because my memory is missing a few days, weeks, or months. This particular issue is due to a combination of a head injury when I was younger, and mental health fluctuations.)

Bonestone & Earthflesh Tarot - Seven of SwordsToday’s draw is is the Seven of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of trickery, strategy, thievery, betrayal, and all around sneaky shit. Mind you, not all sneaky shit is bad shit.  Being cunning and strategic can be a very good quality… but it is still sneaky shit sometimes.

What stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is not surprising. It’s the hands and what’s within them, the homes in the distance, and the blue shade of the cloak that the figure wears.

What I see in this imagery is a warning that not everything is how it first appears, and you need to be aware and paying attention with that in mind. Some people are guileless and they wear their emotions on their sleeves and intentions on their face. Others… are not like that.  They may appear trustworthy, simple, innocent, easy, innocuous, or friendly. But what lies beneath the surface.

The advice here is that sometimes, we have to look at other’s motivations, even when they appear to be being nice or look completely harmless. Everyone has motivations behind their actions… pay attention to what those motivations might be.

DECK USED:  BONESTONE & EARTHFLESH TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What are you clinging to that can be let go of without repercussion?

Divine Masculine TarotReading Summary: My concern that having a bit of fun (Three of Cups) will distract me from my plans and goals (Two of Wands). It’s okay to take comfort (Four of Wands) in those things that bring me pleasure (imagery in the Queen of Wands).

Take Away: This is the influence of my father and how his voice managed to integrate into my inner narrative and make a home there.  It’s the concept that that anything that’s fun can’t possibly be productive or useful because you’re supposed to buckle down and work, be serious and focus to your goals, and not allow “frivilous things” to distract you.

I know that voice is wrong, and I know it’s harmful. I’ve never really considered that I “cling” to it before, but I think in some ways I do… because it seems like the path to stability and security. But on closer reflection, it may get you to stability and security, but at what cost to your health and happiness?

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE DIVINE MASCULINE
 

Daily Self Kindness

I spent all evening and night in play with Gideon today and I don’t feel the least bit guilty about it.  I didn’t do even a shred of work other than searching for a bin of charms I’d somehow thought I’d misplaced.  I discovered that instead, what happened is I was exhausted when I had the bin out before (along with a different one) and I accidentally put the charms back into the wrong bin.  I suppose that discovering this could also be self care, since as soon as I found those charms, I felt much better.  I was having a bit of an anxiety issue over the whole thing.

There’s More Waiting

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Today’s meditation was skipped.  No excuses, I just didn’t end up doing it.  I was entirely and utterly unmotivated to the point of actual avoidance. 

Bonestone & Earthflesh Tarot - The SunToday’s draw is the Sun card, which is traditionally a representation of joy, success, fun, and play. 

I love the representation of the May Pole on the sun card, as the May Pole is a celebration of the sun’s reign in the sky and the first stirring of energy that rises up within the first breath of summer.

The card and it’s imagery is a message to remember how much I’m missing while I’m wrapped up in the darkness of my depression, and how much is waiting for me to enjoy and celebrate once I manage to pull myself out and back to even ground.

Although I can’t just “pull myself up by my bootstraps” and force the depression away, remembering that there’s fun and play and joy out there to return to helps in keeping the depression in perspective.

DECK USED:  BONESTONE & EARTHFLESH TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Ask the cards to tell you about something funny that will make you smile.

Tarot de Marseille Anima AntiquaOkay so, a few years ago my friend J and I were hanging out and the guy said the most rediculous thing.  In the middle of talking, I sneezed.   I have horrible allergies, and I have a habit of holding in my sneeze a bit when they happen because otherwise I often end up with a sore throat or snot everywhere.  Neither of those experiences are worth letting the sneezes loose, so I suppress them just a bit.

When J saw this, he turned to me with fully earnest expression and told me that I shouldn’t hold in my sneezes. That it’s important to let them out so the pressure doesn’t build up in your head during the sneeze and result in your eyeballs popping out.  And that that’s why when people sneeze they close their eyes, but it’s not enough and you have to let your sneezes out too.

It was so hilarious that I laughed for a good five minutes, and for months later every time I thought about it I’d start cracking up again.  Thinking of it now still makes me chortle a bit. The look on his face was just so earnest and guileless.  He really believed it and was so worried for me… and all I could do was laugh.

DECK USED:  TAROT DE MARSEILLE ANIMA ANTIQUA
 

Daily Self Kindness

Today I managed to actually do a bit of play with Gideon even though I had to do orders.  It was really nice and something I haven’t been able to do in a really long time (work on an orders day).  It wasn’t a long play, but I really enjoyed it a lot.

Reaching For The Light

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IMG_8900Today’s meditation was just under fifteen minutes long and was a guided meditation from the Calm app with an added interval timer for my piriformis stretches.   Again, I was tempted to skip my meditation today, but I managed to push myself to do it anyway.

The topic of today’s meditation was about distancing yourself from your thoughts during your meditation practice so that you don’t fall down the rabbit hole of their sticky grip.  Instead, the guide offers the technique of labeling your thoughts when they arrive.  Essentially catching yourself and saying “thinking” and then allowing the thoughts to drift off.  Doing this each time so that you do not become emotionally or otherwise invested in the thoughts, but instead see them just as thoughts and then set them aside.

Bonestone & Earthflesh Tarot - Nine of CupsToday’s draw is the Nine of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of wallowing in one’s “feel good” feelings.  It’s about contentment and taking pleasure in one’s good fortune, as well as feeling emotionally satiated.  It can also be an indication of gluttony.

What stands out to me the strongest in this card’s imagery is that there is more than one person in the card and the figure on the stump appears to be sharing her wealth of goodness with those below.  Normally, this is a theme that I would expect to see in the Ten of Cups, as I usually consider the Nines of each suit lean more into solitary themes.

In absolute honesty, though, this looks a lot more like the Six of Pentacles to me.  But that’s just me.  It’s just that the imagery seems to lean so very heavily into sharing and generosity.  What is being shared here, though, is not money or resources.  It’s happiness, pleasure, positivity, and the sweetness of hope.  Those below reach for it, seek it out… and that is where the message lies in today’s card.  It’s not really about the figure on the stump… it’s about the people below.

Today’s message is about reaching for the positivity.  Don’t wallow in the dark.  Don’t sit on the sidelines and allow the negativity to have its way with you.  Instead… reach for the light.  Reach for the good, the positive and the hopeful.  It may seem out of reach, but it’s closer than you think.

DECK USED:  BONESTONE & EARTHFLESH TAROT

LionHart’s Elements Tarot Challenge Prompt
Question: In what area am I asked to nurture myself right now?

Zolar's New Astrological Tarot

 Reading Summary: The anxiety and depression that you’re feeling (Nine of Swords) requires some nurturing (The Empress) and  that you seek out the positive as much as you can (Mercury) instead of focusing on the negative and letting it drag you down (Justice Rx).

Take Away: I’m currently struggling with what is starting to become clear is a clinical depressive episode at the moment. The cards here indicate that this is exactly the area where I need nurturing at the moment, and I need to make sure I’m leaning into self-care and self-kindness, as well as focusing on the positive and the light as much as possible in order to help in combating the darkness of the depression’s influences.

DECK USED:  ZOLAR’S NEW ASTROLOGICAL TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is a very positive thing in your life you are overlooking?

Mundane Magick TarotReading Summary:  You’ve done this before, again and again (Seven of Coins Rx atop The World).  You have all the skills, all the knowledge, all the tools that you need (The Magician) to make it through your depression and come out the other side (Death).

Take Away:  *Takes a breath.*   Yeah.  That’s true.  This is not the first time, and I can do this.  It’s not permanent, nor is it even especially long lasting.  It just needs to be worked through so that I can get to the other side of it and then move on from it.

Once the depression is over, perspectives will shift, experiences will shift…. life will shift.  And a whole different and lighter reality will take the place of where darkness currently exists.

DECK USED:  MUNDANE MAGICK TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

I made a new character to play with Gideon instead of trying to burrow into myself and take a (not really needed) nap.  It’s something new so I don’t feel the pressure of trying to fit into the skin of an established character during a time when am barely fitting into my own skin.

Self Care Is Important

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IMG_8874Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and was a guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis stretches.   I can’t really remember what the guided meditation was about, even with the graphic prompt to the right.  It was about mindfulness obviously, and using it to break habits or be mindful of the things you do.  But honestly?  I just don’t remember.

Bonestone & Earthflesh Tarot - Queen of PentaclesToday’s draw is the Queen of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of a receptive alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s home life, finances, the material world, resources, or health.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of today’s card is that the crone is tangled in thorns.  She’s clearly up to some sort of spellcraft, as she’s holding a chicken foot, but it’s the thorns that really catch my attention here today.

Those thorns bring me to thinking about a common pitfall that a lot of caretakers fall into over time, where they begin to focus so much on others and what others need that they begin to put off caring for themselves.  The excuse being that everyone else needs them, so they just don’t have the time or energy for their own needs.

It’s a flawed thinking, and dangerous as well.  How can you take care of others if you aren’t taking care of yourself.  Without self care, there’s nothing left to give to others.   This is something I myself need to hear now and then, especially concerning my business and responsibilities. That reminder is what today’s card is about.

DECK USED:  BONESTONE & EARTHFLESH TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is a negative thing in your life that you don’t need to stress over?

Neon TarotReading Summary: The worry that fighting for what feels right , what you stand for, and what you believe in (Seven of Wands) is going to tear down everything around you (The Tower Rx) and leave you lost and alone (The Moon).

Take Away: This isn’t something that I worry about all the time, but more a worry that whispers in the back of my head now and then, especially when I step up and am in the thick of it.

It isn’t a fear that holds me back from standing up for what I believe in, but it is something I worry about.  Not everyone appreciates a healthy and strong standing moral compass or those with the strength of will to stand up for what they believe in after all.  And I do worry that some day I will be left… alone.   An old queer dude with no friends and no loved ones left, no family and no future generations either.  Will it happen?  I have no idea… but it is something I find myself concerned about now and then.

The cards here are saying it’s not something I need to stress over, and to let that fear go.

DECK USED:  NEON TAROT

Purefield.Healing’s Taking My Power Back Challenge Prompt
Two Cards: Where have I given my power away to avoid conflict? / Where have I given my power away to avoid standing out?

Future Vision Gem Tarot

Where have I given my power away to avoid conflict?

Ten of Wands atop Four of Cups – I will hand my power, my responsibilities, and my control over to others that I trust when I am feeling overwhelmed and overburdened and it’s causing me to need to distance myself emotionally and step away.   In these times, I have no choice.  I need to let go in order to give myself time to breathe, center, ground, and find my balance again.

Where have I given my power away to avoid standing out?

The Hermit Rx – When I am in the middle of a self-destruct and I’m trying to retreat into myself and go into hiding.  When I’ve reached that place… that mentality? It’s either drop the ball, or hand that ball over to someone that can deal with it until I’m in a better place mentally.

DECK USED:  FUTURE VISION GEM TAROT

Daily Self Kindness

Today’s self kindness was in taking a moment to actually feel good and happy with the small chores I got done around the house instead of berating myself on all the things I haven’t gotten done.   It felt good to sit down and feel like I got a few small good things done today like filling the hand soaps in the bathrooms and kitchen, refilling the shower spray bottles, etc.

Universal Kindness and Respect

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IMG_8835Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long, and was a guided meditation in the Calm app with the addition of an interval timer for my piriformis stretches.

The topic of today’s meditation was twofold.  It began with a slow, full body scan that started at the top of the head and ended at the tips of the toes, with slow breaths throughout the process to breathe relaxation and release tension in each body part you’re focusing on at a time.

The second part of the meditation was a discussion on compassion, and how being compassionate includes not just how  you treat others but also how you treat yourself.  This is something that I personally struggle with and although I fully agree… I still struggle with.   But, I’m working on it.

Bonestone & Earthflesh Tarot - The EmperorToday’s draw is the Emperor card, which is traditionally a representation of being “the boss”, authority, and themes concerning structure, responsibility, and “the greater good”.

Okay so, what stands out to me in the imagery of this card is the two figures in the card.  I say this because they oddly echoed back in my mind to the show I’ve been watching on Netflix recently and how Eun-Hyuk used Hyun Cha to go get things for him and protect the people of the Green Roof Apartments.

Hyuk stands back through so much of the series and rarely puts himself in any kind of danger, but sends Hyun in again and again, sometimes for important things… but often just for trivial shit.

The reminder in these cards is to make sure that you are treating others fairly and kindly, no matter how above them you are.  They may be there to help, they may be there to protect you… they may be there to serve in some way.  But they are still human and just as deserving of respect and kindness as you are.

DECK USED:  BONESTONE & EARTHFLESH TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What concession can you make to provide for yesterday’s inner child craving?

Wayward Dark TarotReading Summary: Work on changing (Death) how you look at stability and success (Nine of Pentacles), and you will find better balance and harmony with your inner child (Two of Cups).

Take Away: The thing is, that it isn’t so much about that there is or isn’t stability and success in my life but my perception of that stability and success.

Convincing that inner child that it is safe and secure will require taking a look at how I see these values and what they really mean, and redefining that into something more attainable than the expectations my father beat and berated into me throughout the majority of my life both as a child and as an adult.

DECK USED:  WAYWARD DARK TAROT

Purefield.Healing’s Taking My Power Back Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I increase my power in the most ethical & aligned way?

Atomic Tarot

Reading Summary:  Focus on learning (Heart of Stars) how to take only what you need (Seven of Stars) and leave the rest behind (Ten of Stars).

Take Away: Moderation is not my strong suit, but I am working on it in certain areas of my life. These cards indicate that it is through clearing out those things I no longer need and taking with me only that which I do, I can increase my power as a result.  I like this idea and I’ve actually been feeling the urge to purge in a number of areas lately.  In fact, I’ve sent a number of bags of crap to Goodwill this week, and a number of them out into recycle bins as well.  I have no doubt that if the urge continues, so too will that trend.

DECK USED:  ATOMIC TAROT