Always Be Prepared

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was a guided meditation with interval timer for the shifting of my piriformis stretches.   The topic of the guided meditation today was actually something that I think I needed to hear.

It’s about the semantics of language… and the power of language.  It’s about the importance of how we phrase things, because how we phrase things dictates in many ways how we internalize things.

For example… being conscious of changing phrases in our dialog (both internal and external) from  “I am angry” to “I feel angry”.   There is a very important, key difference between these two phrases.   That is because we are not our emotions. We feel our emotions.

Next World Tarot - The MagicianToday’s draw is the Magician card, which is traditionally a representation of… well, essentially… The Magician is “the man with all the tools”. You know that guy (or gal) that you always go to when you need a tool you don’t own, because you know they’ll have it… even if it’s a tool you’ve never heard of before? That’s the Magician. He has all the tools for any job, and he knows how to use them to get the job done.

Sometimes, these tools are not physical, but also mental.  And that’s what stands out to me in the imagery of this card. The titles of the books sitting before the woman are “Pathology”, “Herbal Medicine”, “Emergency First Response”, and “Feminist Theory”. She sits with a notebook invariably filled with notes and marked notations, post-it notes sticking out every which way. This is is a woman that is not just prepared (look at that pack sitting behind her) but also is preparing.

Today was the drive up north day, and this message was a reminder to make sure I had everything I needed for the trip.  That includes the new box of protein bars that has been sitting on the counter for almost a week, and a few extra bottles of water.   It means making sure I check the traffic before hand so that I can avoid the two accidents along the way that would have increased my drive time by at least two hours.  It means making sure I put my post office box key back in my wallet.

All of these things are things I did thanks to the reminder in this card this morning.

DECK USED:  NEXT WORLD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: How can I be proactive in expressing that I have these unreasonable expectations?

Anthro Tarot

Reading Summary: Don’t (Eight of Cups). This is your problem (The Tower) from your childhood (Six of Cups) that you need to deal with.

Take Away:  The expectation that was revealed in yesterday’s reading was unrealistic and narcissistic.   No one can know what I need without me telling them. None of the people in my support system are psychic.  Although they are all willing to step in and help when needed? None of them can predict when that might be.  That’s what communication is for.    The fact that I avoid reaching out isn’t their problem, it’s mine.  It stems from my childhood and is something I need to work on.

DECK USED:  ANTHRO TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: This Month’s Lesson / Next Month’s Theme

Big Things In Small Packages TarotThis Month’s LessonThe Emperor – I’ve had a couple of lessons this month, but the one mentioned here is that I am working on finding that balance between the new emotional depth I’ve discovered this year, and the authority and responsibility of life. Through most of the summer I have let my emotional growth take the lead, but now that it’s sliding into the fall, I need to start preparing for the upcoming holiday rush.  This month has been a lesson in finding that place of responsibility and control… while maintaining the new emotional openness and depth that I’ve been experiencing.

Next Month’s ThemeQueen of Cups – Where August was about finding a way to bring responsibility and control into the equation with my emotional growth, the Queen of Cups indicates that September’s theme will be about balance and stability in my emotions in a way that will work well with my responsibilities instead of against them.

DECK USED:  BIG THINGS IN SMALL PACKAGES TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Topic: Give a thought to what you want to attract or manifest before the end of 2020 and draw a card of confirmation.

Hero Analysis For the Future #79 MHA TarotWhat I want to Manifest – Super strong holiday season sales with lots of customers buying lots of expensive gifts from my online shops.

The Magician – You have all of the tools at your fingertips to make this happen. Even if there may be things that rise up to stand in your way, you have the tools and abilities necessary to defeat and/or circumvent these issues and continue on to your goal.

Keep your eye on the prize, because success is in your hands. It’s all up to you.

DECK USED:  HERO ANALYSIS FOR THE FUTURE #79 MHA TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I best help others at this time?

Tarot of the Dream Enchantress

Reading Summary: Bear witness (imagery in the Seven of Swords) to their pain (Three of Swords). Actively reach out with kindness (Knight of Cups), and give them something to be inspired by (King of Wands).

Take Away:  Although I am a good listener and always happy to be supportive and help others, I am not particularly skilled at “holding space”.   I am referring to that silent stillness of just sitting in silence with someone who is in distress or in pain.  I feel the need to fix things or actively help in some way.  I know that’s not always possible.

The cards here indicate that when these situations arise, it’s okay to both hold space… and provide hope and a sort of focus that can carry them through.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE DREAM ENCHANTRESS

Exploration and Discovery

Today’s meditation was skipped in sacrifice to the gods of work.  Essentially, I decided to put it off until bed time because I wanted to try and get my orders done a little earlier than normal.  You know…. so I don’t have to pull an all nighter, yeah?    So I did end up sacrificing a few things (like my meditation) in order to make that happen.

Next World Tarot - The SunToday’s draw is the Sun card, which is traditionally interpreted as a representation of joy and happiness and lighthearted fun.  It’s about successful endeavors and positivity.

No one specific aspect stood out to me in this card today other than the shining light in the sky that the girl in the picture reaches toward… and the fact that her shoelaces are untied (but tucked).

The laces actually bring back a memory.  For the first few months after I emancipated from my parent’s home, I wore my shoes like that.  Loose and untied with the laces tucked in out of the way.  I’d always wanted to wear my laces that way, but when you wear your shoes untied, there is a habit of scraping your heels on the ground (or you have to march in order to not do so).  My mother would not allow that, and thus it wasn’t until I was on my own that I tried it for myself.   Turns out?  The thunk of heels scraping with each step quickly got on my nerves as well.  Although this wasn’t the reason my mother objected?  It’s kind of funny that I ended up agreeing with her.

Hell of a digression, right?   But maybe it’s not that much of a digression at all.   For what I see in those shoelaces… and in the message of this card today, is that you have to try new things to know whether they’re for you or not.   Discovering the things that make you happy and create joy in your heart is a process of trial and error.

Never lose the curiosity that fosters the discovery of new joyous moments.

DECK USED:  NEXT WORLD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: How can I help prevent myself from comparing my healing journey to someone else’s?

Odd Hand Tarot

Reading Summary: Everyone has lessons to learn in life, and most people don’t learn by just being given the answers (The Hierophant).  Use your empathy (Queen of Cups) and communicate in an open and welcoming way instead of in a closed format (Page of Swords).

Take Away: The indication here is that in order to prevent myself from comparing my healing journey to someone else’s I need to remember that everyone’s path is different.  Everyone’s experiences are different.   Two people can, in fact, experience the exact same event… and process it entirely differently… this experience it entirely differently.  Listen to others with an empathetic ear and keep your eyes and ears open to how their experiences differ from my own.

DECK USED:  ODD HAND TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: I Blame Myself For… / I Blame Others For…

Tarot of the Dream EnchantressI Blame Myself For – I blame myself for when my mind and thought processes become fuzzy and clouded (King of Swords Rx) which then results in me dropping the ball concerning my responsibilities and obligations (Two of Pentacles).

There are times when I seem to step into this “foggy” brain space that will last for a few days or even a couple of weeks.  It’s not depression, but rather just a lack of clarity and mental “crispness”.  During these times, I often end up making a lot of stupid mistakes and my time management skills become pretty dismal.  That in turn effects my juggling of all the different responsibilities on my plate.

I Blame Others ForFour of Cups and Wheel of Fortune (imagery based) – I blame others for my apathetic opinion of society. There is so much about the world that I accept with ease, but society is not really one of those things.

The reasons for this are many… and yet they all boil down to other people’s behavior… other people’s mentality… other people’s stupidity.  With every year that passes, I find myself less and less optimistic about humanity at a whole, and more disappointing in what I see in so many.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE DREAM ENCHANTRESS

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Focus on your third eye and draw a card in answer to: Where am I asked to follow or listen to my intuition?

Luminous Void Tarot - Ten of DiscsTen of Discs – My dreams are very much based in the stability and security that is represented in the Ten of Discs.  It is, without fail, my greatest focus, and although I have over time adjusted what I consider to be the definition of that stability and security, and my view of how to achieve it… the concept of stability and security remains my focus.

The thing is, though, that following your dreams is about more than just logic and reason… no matter how comfortable it is to fall back on these things. Sometimes you have to follow your gut to know what to do, and to know what’s right. These things can’t always be reasoned out, but instead have to be felt.

DECK USED:  LUMINOUS VOID TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What do I need to forgive myself?

Big Things in Small Packages Tarot

Reading Summary: Getting fucked over (Seven of Wands) sucks and its easy to internalize these bad experiences (Nine of Swords) and allow the experience to become a heavy burden (Knight of Pentacles Rx).  How you deal with these things determines whether or not you and your life stays in balance (Two of Pentacles).

Take Away:  The times I have been hurt by others, and I have chosen to internalize that hurt instead of placing the blame where it belongs… on them.  I have a habit holding myself culpable, even though the blame isn’t mine to own.  I need to release this blame.  Let it go.

DECK USED:  BIG THINGS IN SMALL PACKAGES TAROT

Hope Lives… Even In Darkness

Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and I was a little fidgety. I think it was because I got so much sleep last night that I ended up with a bit of excess energy trying to find a way free. Or maybe my body and mind just liked the hike so much yesterday that it was itching to go out for another one.   That is very possible as well.

Next World TarotToday’s draw is the Five of Pentacles, which is a representation of struggles, tests, trials, and conflicts in the area of one’s finances, resources, hearth and home, health, or manifestations.

The there was no one thing that really stood out to me in this card today, but what really stood out was the overall atmosphere.  All the buildings for sale and this girl sits with all her things packed up looking out at what surely feels like a wasteland at this moment.  In truth, the imagery really hit home considering the news that I’d gotten the other day about the possible fate of my own home.

I think sometimes we all have that feeling of the world falling apart around us.  When we’re in that moment, it’s hard to see that there might be a light down there at the end of the tunnel.  We don’t realize that we just can’t see it yet.

The message in today’s card is to not give up hope… even when things feel hopeless.  Even when things feel like they’re falling apart.   Don’t give up hope. This is just one more than that’s only temporary.

DECK USED:  NEXT WORLD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m plagued by anxiety.
Question: How is anxiety trying to help me?

Odd Hand Tarot

Reading Summary: My anxiety is trying to warn me when I become too confident (Six of Wands) in my security and stability (King of Pentacles)… so that I can make sure I’m seeing the path before me clearly and won’t end up tripping over anything along the way (Eight of Cups).

Take Away:  Sometimes when you get a little too comfortable in your current situation, you can forget to look ahead, and forget to keep in mind that hard times are sure to come again eventually in one form or another.  My anxiety is a reminder not to get so comfortable that I forget to look forward and watch my step.

DECK USED:  ODD HAND TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Do Spread #3

Magic TarotSeeds SownTen of Pentacles – Of the seeds that I planted in the spring concerning my emotional growth, what has managed to flourish and grow strong is that I’ve been able to find more a centered and balanced sense of fulfillment in what I have in the present and where I am in my life.

The Chaff Queen of Wands – Of those seeds that I planted in the spring, what has not flourished into fruition is that I didn’t get all of the creative things done that I wanted to accomplish this summer, such as the wood burning project. But that’s okay, and I need to let that disappointment go so that I can be “large and in charge” in other areas now that the fall is coming.

The Harvest Temperance – To prepare to reap the benefits of the seeds that have flourished, I need to make sure I’m practicing patience and moderation as I move into the fall so that I can give my harvest the best chance of coming to fruition.

DECK USED:  MAGIC TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot#ElementalChallenge
Question: What feelings serve me best explored instead of ignored?

Big Things In Small Packages Tarot

The Sun – Joy. This is a feeling that I struggle with feeling I deserve. Instead of ignoring it, though, it’s one that I need to embrace and enjoy more often.  Too often I push it away in favor of responsibility and obligation.

Three of Wands – The urge to turn down the troubled path rather than a healthy one is something I’ve always struggled with.  These self destructive urges are by their very nature… self destructive.  Ignoring them doesn’t make them go away.  Instead it’s important to sort through those feelings when they rise up, and figure out where they’re coming from.

Queen of Pentacles Rx – Self-indulgence as a way to deal with my emotions is another of my self destructive patterns. This is one of those unhealthy paths mentioned in the Three of Wands.  It’s just that we are getting into specifics.  This is about consumption. Like with most self destructive urges, it’s important to seek out why they have arisen rather than sweeping them under the rug.

DECK USED:  BIG THINGS IN SMALL PACKAGES TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I bring more joy into my life?

Anthro Tarot

Reading Summary: Make sure you have direction (Three of Wands), but at the same time don’t push so hard (Eight of Pentacles Rx) that it steals away your joy (Seven of Swords).

Take Away: The message here is not so much about bringing more joy into my life but allowing it to have space there so that it can flourish on its own.  When I push too hard towards the future and make myself work too hard towards goals I become too damned focused on?   It smothers out the joy in my life.   So it’s okay to have direction… but don’t go overboard.  Leave space for joy, and it will grow and flourish in my life all on its own.

DECK USED:  ANTHRO TAROT

I Was a Jerk

Today’s meditation was non-existent.  As anticipated, I pulled an all-nighter last night to get through my orders and get them out to be shipped today.  I then made the trip up north to check my mail and… god it was a long drive.  Even with J along to drive part of the way.

Getting home, even if I shaved a good hour off the trip by driving like a nutcase, all I could think about was sleep. So… yeah.  I slept.  A lot.  And there was no meditation.

Next World TarotToday’s draw is the King of Cups, which is traditionally a representation of a projective alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s emotions, relationships, creativity, and intuition.

What really stands out to me in the imagery of today’s card is the expression on the woman’s face in the picture, and the lotus that she cups in her hands. She’s seen it all, she’s been beaten down and yet still has the strength to keep going, and the compassion to hold space and gentleness for the delicate lotus.

There is empathy here, and that is something that I really lacked today.  I’m so sorry about being a dick and making you cry. I love you so fucking much and just because I was tired and riding a bit of an anxiety wave is no excuse for treating you badly or being a jerk. I love you.

DECK USED:  NEXT WORLD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling with boundaries in my relationships.
Question: What can I do to meet that need revealed in yesterday’s cards?

Monstarot

Reading Summary:  Own what you have done (King of Pentacles) with understanding (The Luminary) so that you can move forward (The World).

Take Away:  The need revealed in yesterday’s cards was about accepting the part that the past plays on our present and future instead of struggling against it.  Acceptance of this isn’t easy for me, but to meet that need head on I need to own my part in things and treat what has happened in the past with loving understanding and an open heart.  By not closing myself off to the influences of the past, I allow myself to move forward more smoothly into the future, and not end up stuck and stagnant.

DECK USED:  MONSTAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I best advance on what was revealed in yesterday’s cards?

Big Things In Small Packages TarotReading Summary: Allow others to help you in getting things done (Three of Pentacles) so you don’t end up stuck in place (Four of Pentacles). Their help will create the motivation you need (Knight of Wands) while taking off some of the pressure you’re putting yourself under (hot tub imagery in the Ace of Cups).

Take Away:  Sometimes, even the smallest of things can feel like it’s just too much.  That overwhelm can create stagnancy as you hesitate to move forward under the pressure that is real regardless of being all in your mind.  By inviting others in to help, it takes some of that pressure off of you, and allows things to move forward more smoothly, creating momentum in the process.

DECK USED:  BIG THINGS IN SMALL PACKAGES TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot#ElementalChallenge
Question: Fire, when I am ready and willing to create, where do I begin?

Luminous Void Tarot

Reading Summary:  Make the choice (The Lovers) to go with what is familiar and what you are well versed in (King of Swords).  When you conquer these things (Five of Swords), it will give you confidence and success (Nine of Discs), as well as freedom to enjoy life rather than feeling under constant pressure (imagery in the Nine of Discs).

Take Away:  Although new ideas and projects are always shiny and tempting, sometimes when you start on a creative path, it’s the familiar things you do well that are more in need of your attention and more beneficial to your goals.  These familiar tasks are the path to success, even if you have to go to battle to get there.

DECK USED:  LUMINOUS VOID TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What inspires me?

Hilda Tarot

Reading Summary: Collaboration in that I need someone to tell me when something is a bad idea (Three of Pentacles) so that my creative juices flow towards (Six of Cups) opening up to better methods (Nine of Wands Rx).

Take Away: I’m inspired by roadblocks.  I’m inspired by those that give me constructive feedback that allows me to search for answers and grow instead of shut me down.  Being open and not defensive with those that help provide me with this type of feedback stoke the creative fire within me that allows me to stretch my creativity and abilities.

DECK USED:  HILDA TAROT

Hyunta… Yeah, You Heard Me

Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and one of the harp strings meditations.  I had a bit of a problem getting still and staying that way.  I’m not sure why I was all fidgety today, but I just really struggled with staying still.  Not just in meditation either, but through my card drawing time, as well as the first hour or so once I finally sat down at the computer.

Next World TarotToday’s draw is the King of Pentacles, which is traditionally a representation of a projective alpha energy, personality, or person in the area of one’s finances and resources, home life, health, and manifestations.

This card screams hyunta to me. You’ve worked hard and  finally gotten what you so dearly have strive for and wanted, and now you’re stuck wondering… That was it? Is this it?  That’s all?  It’s a blend of both satisfaction, and keen disappointment.  (Actually, the term originates from that post masturbation glow of having stroked one out and achieved your pleasure but then being on the other side of it you find yourself feeling like something’s missing…. but the sense of accomplishment and disappointment is very similar.)

The message here in this card for today is that goals are something to aim for, but not something to kill yourself over as you try to get hit them. Because once you get there, then you have nowhere further to go.

This is why it is so often said that life is about the journey, and not a destination.

DECK USED:  NEXT WORLD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling with boundaries in my relationships.
Question: How does devaluing my needs harm myself?

Gypsy Palace Tarot

Reading Summary:  It’s self limiting (Eight of Swords) to my ability to get a fresh start in going after my dreams (Page of Wands), taking control out of my hands  so that I lose my way (The Chariot) along life’s path (The World).

Take Away:  Devaluing my needs creates a cycle of destruction that is directed at my autonomy. It influences both my ability to see clearly and make good decisions concerning the direction I want to go in, as well as my ability to actually control my trajectory as a whole on my life’s path. 

DECK USED:  GYPSY PALACE TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: Weed Out / Replace With

Tabula Mundi in Minima TarotWeed OutSix of Cups Rx – I need to let go of my fear that continuing in the path of allowing myself to have more rest and less burden is going to fuck up everything I’ve worked towards.  This fear is irrational and is not based in reality, yet my fear of shifting away from that mentality of being overburdened equals accomplishment and getting things done is holding me back from fully embracing my new path.

Replace WithPrincess of Disks Rx – Continue to work at embracing a releasing of “industry”.  It’s okay to take some time for yourself, and it’s okay to enjoy that time.  Own your ability to relax and acknowledge that the world isn’t going to fall apart if you’re a bit selfish with your time and attention by directing it towards the self and self care rather than the business or the greater good.

DECK USED:  TABULA MUNDI IN MINIMA TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot#ElementalChallenge
Question: What am I asked to create for myself starting this week?

Big Things In Small Packages Tarot

Reading Summary:  Get your shit together (Nine of Cups) and put your thinking hat on (The High Priestess) so that you can seize the reigns (The Chariot) and get moving at going after that new vision of the same dream (Knight of Wands).

Take Away:  The new vision of the same dream mentioned here is about my business, and about how I have been trying to restructure how I do things so that I’m not so overwhelmed and overburdened all the time. In order to accomplish this new version of the same dream, though, there’s still some work that needs to be done.  Especially as we now head toward the end of summer and slip into the time to prep for the holiday rush.

This prepping process requires planning, but it also requires a lot of doing… and it’s that dynamic that needs to be picked up and run with this week.

DECK USED:  BIG THINGS IN SMALL PACKAGES TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What is working for me right now?

Tarot del Fuego

Reading Summary: Taking things slow (Eight of Wands Rx) and letting my new emotional growth (Ace of Cups) have the time and space it needs to reconcile with my past and find the value in what has happened in my history (Ten of Swords).

Side Note: This is really interesting imagery for the Eight of Wands.  I understand the representation in the imagery, though.  The fact that sometimes?  Things just move too fast.

Take Away:  Although I fully accept the experiences I have been through, the new emotional depth I’m experiencing due to the growth I’ve been exploring this spring and summer has needed a bit of a reconciliation with those experiences. Because I closed all of these emotions off during those events in my past, I did not really emotionally process these things.  I understand that and the cards indicating that this process is both healthy and ongoing.

DECK USED:  TAROT DEL FUEGO

Self Care Saturday (On a Sunday)

These Saturday readings are (not usually) bearing in on any one thing or event in my life, as the question used is asking for a more general outlook. This is a self care exercise, and is not meant as a predictive reading… although that, too, happens on occasion.

The question is… What do I need to focus for self-care through the week ahead?

SCS

EarthTemperance and Eagle – This week is going to require a little more restraint and moderation than normal. Make sure that you are staying aware and observant of the world around you, and don’t close yourself off. Observation is key here. This is not a time to act… just watch closely.

AirNine of Swords and Bee – You are more effective than you realize. The beautiful things you make, and the ways in which you reach out and touch the world, have rippling effects of positivity that spread far and wide.  Don’t allow your anxieties and negative inner narrative to snuff out the positive influences you share with the world around you. Instead, focus on the joy and pleasure you get in the things that you do well.

WaterKnight of Wands and Elephant – Slowing down is such a recurring theme in the cards this summer, and here again it shows up to speak out about taking time and slowing down this week.  There is also, once again, the reminder not to close yourself off in the presence of the Elephant.  Make sure that you are directing your focus to those around you, rather than getting so wrapped up in your own interests that everything else fades off into white noise.

FireKing of Cups and Crow – Direct the lion’s share of your focus and drive towards spending real and valuable time with your loved ones.  Set aside superficial interactions and go for depth and meaning in the time you spend with those around you and your communications with them.  Express what lives within your soul with those you love through open communication, truth and honesty.

WaningJuniper Berry and Black Pepper – Although self awareness is an important quality to have, focusing too much on your negative qualities, self defeating tendencies, and self destructive urges is not going to be a good way to spend your time this week.  Set aside your fears and worries, let go of that negative inner narrative, and turn your focus in another direction.

WaxingFrankincense – As a few other readings have hinted at lately, now is a time of rebirth for you. You have already let go of so much of your old ways, and you are in the process of rebuilding your processes now.  Don’t look ahead, but move forward.  Train your focus on each step you make in the now, with the awareness that each step you make is a building block that creates the future’s foundation.

Take Away –  The theme for this week is to make sure that my focus and attention is being directed in the direction of my loved ones and not business struggles, financial concerns, or my own negative inner narrative.  Connect with those you love and allow them to give you  the support and boost you need in your life this week, just as you provide that for them in turn.  Be sure not to make any important financial decisions this week.  Watch and wait… gather information at this time and make your decisions later on down the road.

DECKS USED:  BIG THINGS IN SMALL PACKAGES TAROT