affirmations

The Truth Seeker

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and forty seconds, and focused on gratitude.

The meditation was a discussion on how it is important to be grateful for what you have so that you’re not always feeling a sense of dissatisfaction in the present. There are always things to be grateful for in your life, whether it’s the big things like stability and love, or the little things like a cool breeze, toilet paper, or a glass of water.

Sometimes it’s important to sit back and contemplate on just how lucky you are, and be grateful for those things you have, rather than always focusing on what’s ahead and striving for more.

Today’s draw is the Queen of Swords, which is a strong (alpha) “feminine” energy, personality, or person in the areas of thought, communication, and logic.

The Queen of Swords has a very independent strength with a leaning toward truth and authenticity.

It is a “cut through the bullshit” card, and when I saw it today it reminded me of an incident yesterday at the gas station.

There was a man at the gas station while I was there that was begging for gas. He had a gas can and he was going around to the people both in the store and out at the pumps saying that he’d forgotten his wallet at home and asking if they could spare a gallon of gas so he could get home to grab his wallet.

I was actually going to give him a couple of bucks when I saw him asking someone on the other side of the pump for a gallon of gas and being turned down. But when the guy across from me at the pump refused him, he turned around and was extremely rude, cursing at the man with a “F you anyway, you effing jerk” among other abusive language of curses.

In that moment I decided that whether or not he was desperate for the gallon or so of gas that he was requesting… he didn’t deserve it.

If he was so very desperate for gas, I do not think he would’ve acted in that way. Yes, I was turned off by the rudeness of his actions. But, in truth, it was as if he showed his true colors, and those true colors indicated that he didn’t really need the gas enough to be courteous and polite.

If he was truly desperate, he wouldn’t have acted in a way that would cast him in such a bad light so that all could then see he is undeserving of what he’s asking for.

It was a scam. He was scamming people. It’s a simple as that.

The Queen of Swords is telling me that this type of inner reflection and search for authenticity is important. It’s important to look at things and see the truth beneath, instead of just whatever is on the surface and presented for you to see.

Sometimes that means waiting and watching for a while just to get the full picture.

Encouragement In the Face of Imbalance

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and twenty three seconds, and focused on the natural breath.

Most of the time when I meditate, I do yogic breathing. This means that my breaths are rhythmic and deep, with a full inhale to completely fill the lungs, then a full exhale until the lungs are empty before then repeating the process.

Today’s meditation was to focus on your natural breath, which I found oddly difficult to do. When I allow myself to breathe naturally without control, I find that my breathing is not particularly even, or very deep. And, like the observation effect in physics, it feels as if just by observing the natural breath (even as a passive observer), that the observation results in change.

Today’s draw is the Queen of Pentacles, which represents is a strong “feminine” energy, personality, or person that is both nurturing and practical in the areas of the physical world, money, and resources.

A lot of the times when I see a Queen card within a daily draw, it is a sign of praise for something that is happening or that I have accomplished. This is, of course, a very limited view and I believe that it is especially lacking in regard to today’s draw.

The appearance of the Queen of Pentacles today is telling me that, rather than having found a balance between work and home, it is something that I still need to work on.

I agree with that message, as I feel that I have had very little time with you lately. I’ve been so focused on trying to get back on track after the depression that had weighed me down for so long, and As a result I have been neglectful of you and your needs… and myself and my own needs where you are concerned.

The Queen of Pentacles presence in today’s draw tells me that I need to pay more attention to finding that balance that gives me the time and energy to work on my goals financially and otherwise, but also to spend time with you and nurture that “home” aspect of my life as well.

The Nest

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and twenty eight seconds, and focused on how people have a natural tendency to get stuck in their comfort zone and become resistant to trying new things.

I think that this is true for just about everybody, and there’s a reason that most people struggle with change. Myself included. The meditation was guided in encouraging the listener to open up to change now and then, rather than staying stagnant in one’s comfort zone all the time.

Today’s draw is the Nine of Cups, which is an representation of contentment, fruition, gratitude, and sometimes culmination and resulting consequences in the area of emotions, relationships, and creativity.

The appearance of the Nine of Cups today is a reminder to be grateful for what you have now. With so much pushing and shoving forward in my drive to get things done, stay on track, and get ahead… Sometimes I forget that what I have right now is really pretty damn good.

Today, this card is a reminder to take some time to be content and what you have and be grateful for it, rather than always striving for more.

How Does Your Garden Grow?

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Today’s meditation was fifteen minutes and forty eight seconds, and focused on bringing mindfulness into daily life instead of just during meditation.

It discussed how easy it is to get distracted and overwhelmed during the day, and how taking a moment now and then to take a breath and pay attention to that moment and all that entails in the physical world can help in getting out of one’s mind and the constant wild turbulence that is often going on up there.

Today’s draw is the Two of Pentacles, which is a representation of duality, division, and openings in the areas of resources, money, and the physical world.

In the standard tarot, the Two of Pentacles has an image of someone in the process of juggling and looking slightly overwhelmed with an infinity wrapping around the juggled items. In the Tarot of the Hidden Realm, on the other hand, you can see that there is a much softer image portrayed, with a Fae watching over the growth of a plant.

I like this softer image. I like that it shows both the duality of the nurture and growth dynamic, but also how it shows that as the plant grows above the earth, so too do the roots dig beneath. It is a symbolic relationship, each needing the other to keep the plant healthy and happy.

In this draw, the Two of Pentacles is telling me that although I have a lot going on in my life, it’s also important to balance my self care into the equation.

This is something that’s not always easy for me to do because I get overwhelmed with work responsibilities, the running of my business, and all that that entails. I get too focused on pushing forward, and forget to pay attention to my own needs.

I need to remember that living a balanced and healthy life is not always about where I’m going and where I want to be, but also about where I am now… and how I’m doing now.

The Inner Child

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Due to spending the majority of what would have been my free time today with the police dealing with the break-in down in our gated garage, I did not get the chance to meditate today.

Today’s draw is the Six of Cups, which is a representation of memories, childhood, and innocence in the areas of emotions, relationships, and creativity.

This card has multiple meanings, as many of the cards in the deck do. But, it’s presence today is a reminder to get in touch with my inner child, where my joy in creation resides.

I have so many projects on the go right now, and so much to do. I’ve been feeling a little bit overwhelmed while trying to play catch-up from the depression that took so much of my time at the beginning of the spring.

The Six of Cups is a reminder that even though there’s so much to do, many of the projects that I need to work on our seated and creativity. These are projects that I should be looking forward to with an open heart, rather than trudge towards as if they are a chore.

A funny and fun coincidence… An excellent article offered in my NYTimes Smarter Living subscription this morning is “How to Revisit the Ghosts of Your Past“, which relates to another possible interpretation of this card.

The Return Trip

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Today’s meditation was about self-compassion and kindness. If focused on how when we look at our inner thoughts throughout the day the cycle around in our head, they are often berating and judging in nature.

The guided meditation was an activity focused on how to get better at being kind to yourself both during meditation and throughout the day.

Today’s draw is the King of Swords, which represents strength, authority, and a decidedly alpha energy, personality, or person in the areas of logic, thought, and communication.

He is… me. The me beyond the influence of my depression. As the King of Cups is so very much the “you” that I see and admire, the King of Swords is an embodiment of what you express admiration for in me.

That is my moral compass, my need for fairness, my logical mind, and my efforts at impartial examination of things from all angles I can reach before coming to a decision.

This card is a reminder of where I am returning to as I pull out of my depression completely and recover from it effects and lingering sensitivities.

In the time following a depression there is a period of rebalancing. A time when I am more reactive, more sensitive, and less likely to pay attention to all aspects of a situation.

During these times it’s all about following my instincts to keep me on track as well as in my interactions with others. Then, over time, my mind kicks back into gear and I settle back into I far more logical approach, while my instinct and moral compass whisper in the background.

The King of Swords is an indication that this transformation is in the process of taking place and I am on my way back to my own sense of “normal”. My own, very personal type of balance.