Ace of Swords

New Horizons to Explore

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Today’s meditation was skipped.  Not for any particular reason but mostly just because… well, I didn’t feel like it. I know it’s not a good excuse, but it’s what happened.

Heaven & Earth Tarot - Ace of SwordsToday’s draw is the Ace of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of the seed like beginnings of new ideas, new ambitions, new knowledge, or new communication.  The key here is in the fact that it’s the sword suit, which deals with intellect, logic, communication, and ambitions… and an Ace, which is about the seeds of something new.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the moss-like drape of vegetation from the sides of the crown.  The book calls these “laurels”, although… they don’t look like laurel to me.

The reading that I did earlier this morning was about alone time, and making sure that I seek out alone time for myself even when it feels like a waste of time or some sort of frivolousness.   This drape of mossy “laurel” is a reminder to me of that healthy alone time that I need to make sure I’m getting enough of.

The seed of the ace is there to encourage me to look for new ways to get that alone time, new places to go and things to see, new trails to hike and locations to visit so that I continue to stay interested and eager to seek out that needed alone time whenever I’m able instead of losing interest and procrastinating on it.

DECK USED:  HEAVEN & EARTH TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What does your inner child crave that you’ve been ignoring?

Earth Bones TarotReading Summary:  You’re paying too much attention to feelings of scarcity (Five of Jars atop Ten of Petals Rx). Step up and take control (The Emperor) instead of doubting your intuition and emotional growth (Page of Jars Rx).

Take Away: Stability and validation concerning my emotions is what my inner child craves that I have been ignoring.  The thing is?  I honestly ignore my inner child as much as possible.  Maybe because it’s called my inner “child” yeah?  I don’t relate well to children and have a hard time relating to that term as I was never really much of a “child” even when I was one. 

That, of course, means that my “inner child” is quite repressed and neglected.  I only let it out to “play” when I’m feeling good, and considering how much time I spend in the slippery slide of depression, crawling out of that dark pit, or hovering right on the cusp of the pit at risk of falling in?  That’s not a lot of freedom for my inner child to get some air.   Right now (not surprising as I’m sliding down that slope of the pit) my inner child is feeling vulnerable and unsure of itself and, due to my trying to ignore the encroaching depression… invalidated.

DECK USED:  EARTH BONES TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I stop procrastinating?

5 Cent Tarot

Reading Summary: Take charge (The Emperor) and do one small little thing at a time (Temperance), and you will feel more nurtured and able as a result (The Empress).

Take Away:  Maybe it’s time to start doing a few orders a day, one cleaning task a day, take chores and things that need to be done in bite sized pieces… rather than putting them off to do in large chunks because it just feels like “too much trouble” or overwhelming.  That’s the major excuses that I have for procrastinating most of the time after all…. that it feels like “too much” or “too much trouble” or is just overwhelming for some reason..

DECK USED:  5 CENT TAROT

Enthusiastic Overburdening

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IMG_7781Today’s meditation was just under ten minutes long, and was a guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis stretches.

The topic of today’s guided meditation was about individuality.  It was about not just following your own inner compass, but marching to the beat of your own drum.

To be fair, I didn’t really relate all that much to the pep talk. I’ve never really had much of a problem with peer pressure or felt the need to conform to the norms and expectations of others outside of my extremely overactive work ethic in relation to my father’s voice in my head.   It was still a wonderful message, though, and one that I wish more people were comfortable with.  That is… individuality over conformity.

Traditional Manga Tarot - Ace of SwordsToday’s draw is the Ace of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of the seed of new beginnings in the area of one’s thoughts, ideas, intellect, communication, and ambitions.

What stands out to me in the imagery of this card is the woman’s posture, and the size of the sword and crown that she holds.   I know that in the image she is actually bowing to the sword and crown, but when I saw this image this morning… that is not what I saw.  Instead, it appeared that she was struggling to carry those items.

This seems like an awful amount of weight for the girl to carry, and she appears to strain under the weight.

The message here is about how much you take on… and only taking what you can sustain. It’s all well and good to be bombarded with great ideas all the time, but when you start too any of them at once, suddenly you find that none of them end up completed.

DECK USED:  TRADITIONAL MANGA TAROT

LionHart’s As Above So Below Challenge Prompt
Venus Question: How can I begin to do more of what I truly love?

Elemental Tarot

Reading Summary: Allow your emotions to play a part (Ace of Cups), savor them (Nine of Cups), and create that sense of homecoming for your emotions like what you already feel for your creativity (Four of Wands).

Take Away:  If I want to do more of what I truly love, I need to open up to my emotions more and allow them to have a more welcome and permanent place in my life. Right now I am still exploring them, but I’m not really comfortable with them.

By allowing my emotions to have the same type of value that I put on my creative spark, it will open me up to more opportunities for doing more of the things that I love.

DECK USED:  ELEMENTAL TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicsNov2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do I need to focus on for self-care for this new moon?

Catharsis TarotReading Summary: When it comes to dealing with your past (Six of Cups), take your time (Seven of Coins) on deciding what you want to deal with (Seven of Cups). Remember that it’s okay to set it behind you for now (Five of Cups), because sooner or later it will come around at a time you’ll prepared to deal with it (Six of Spears).

Take Away: What I need to focus on for self care this new moon has to do with leaving my past in the past for now. 

I need to accept that I’m not yet in a place where I can deal with these things, but that by setting them aside to wait, I will allow myself the time I need to sort through everything and pick where to start with better clarity later on when I’m in a better place.

DECK USED:  CATHARSIS TAROT

Heal & Transform November Challenge Prompt
Question: What physical daily habits or routines need reevaluated?

Dark Wood Tarot

Reading Summary: When I feel the tendency to tense up and hunker down (Four of Pentacles), this is not the time to retreat but rather it is a time to open myself up and share (Six of Pentacles) with Gideon what I’m feeling so that he can help me deal with things (King of Cups).

Take Away:  I’m not sure I would have considered this a daily habit, but it’s true that my natural instinct when I am feeling vulnerable or overtaken by emotion to curl into myself and “show my shell” like a turtle rather than dealing with those emotions or even bothering to give them a cursory examination.

The cards here indicate something I know, but that I need to be reminded of often as I try to change this well known habit.  It is a reminder to reach out for help instead of closing myself off… and specifically to reach out to Gideon for his help in exploring and understanding the emotions and triggers that cause me to try and close myself off in the first place.

DECK USED:  DARK WOOD TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What three to five qualities do I feel I want to embody?

Marigold Tarot

The Hanged Man – I want to be able to take in different perspectives and always seek a deeper understanding. The more perspectives I see, the more I understand.  The more I understand, the better person I become.

Page of Swords – This also means that I seek to be the perpetual student, always learning new things and exploring new ideas beyond my current knowledge base.

King of Swords – But at the same time, I want to be able to share my knowledge with others and inspire them to learn as well and expand their knowledge as they seek out their own answers.

Nine of Wands – I also desire to continue protecting and defending my personal values, and those things and people that mean the most to me. Sometimes this can feel like an uphill battle, but if it’s something I value enough to fight for… then it’s worth it.

King of Rings – I feel a deep seated need for stability and security, grounding and strength through a strong foundation beneath my feet.  I don’t mind moving slow at getting there, as long as I am making progress in the right direction.

DECK USED:  MARIGOLD TAROT

Not All “New” Ideas Are Good Ideas

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and was a quiet non-guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis stretches. I really just needed a little peace, and I felt that the guided meditation, or even a bit of music, would feel like a bit too much over-stimulation.

Tarot of Haunted House - Ace of SwordsToday’s draw is the Ace of Swords, which traditionally is a representation of new ideas, the beginning of educational pursuits, and ambition.

What stands out to me in this card is the position of the hand that is holding the knife. In this position, it is poised to press down and slice which indicates to me that this is a prime position for suicide.

Not all new ideas are good ideas.

When I was younger I had a whole lot of suicidal ideation. In fact… I had a whole lot of suicidal urges. It wasn’t just ideas and it wasn’t just daydreams and it wasn’t just thoughts. It was an overwhelming urge that visited me again and again, whether I was in the middle of a clinical depression or not. It was something my brain would just not let go of, a longing I couldn’t seem to release.

I’d like to say that love was the answer to this issue, but it wasn’t. Things really changed for me when Prozac came into my life in my 20s, and slowly but surely, the urges began to fade… and then the thoughts followed suit.

Now, as I’ve aged, I’ve come to realize that my life is precious. I want to live a long life, and I want to enjoy every minute of it. And when the end comes, I’m going to be sad about that. These are the realizations that came and developed over time once the suicidal ideation was finally moved out of the way.

I can’t say that the suicidal thoughts don’t come back… because they do. Prozac helps keep me balanced and level, but it doesn’t prevent the occasional major depressive episode from sneaking in. During those times the world looks a lot different and the urges to end my life come back, and I have to remind myself that the depression is only temporary and an illusion. What I’m feeling at those times is a lie.

Not all new ideas are good ideas.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF HAUNTED HOUSE

LionHart’s #TheOctoberTarot #SeasonOfTheWitchChallenge Prompt
Question: Trick – What have I learned this month?

Grim Tarock

Reading Summary: This month I have learned that entertaining addictions (The Dark Lord) for too long leads to a deconstruction of stability and old values (The Tower).  But, you can counteract that with patience and moderation (Temperance) which then leads to reigning in chaos to your advantage (Nine of Citadels atop Knight of Chaos).

Take Away: This isn’t only about deck collecting, which I need to slow down on for a bit as it is a bit of a drain on the finances.  But there’s other addictions here too.  Issues with eating unhealthy foods, with retreating into myself, skipping my meditations, and not getting the time in nature and exercise I need.   All of these things boil down to the addictions and temptations that are, when allowed to go on too long unrestrained, unhealthy for me.  At the top of this list is my self destructive urge, as well, and that is also a problem as it’s what drives so many of my other bad habits and allowances towards excess.

Moderation (which I admit is not my strongest of skills) is the key to the whole mess, of course. With moderation, I can then get a reign on that chaos so ready to run out of control and bring it to heel and benefit me instead of becoming destructive.

DECK USED:  GRIM TAROCK

#DiscordTarotholicsOct2020 Challenge Prompt
Philosophical Question: Does one’s name influence the person they become?

Ludy Lescot TarotReading Summary: A name can absolutely be a factor in leading the way in one’s life (Eight of Cups), especially if someone is not secure in themselves and have stability in their life (Four of Wands). It’s something that we carry with us throughout our lives (The World). But ultimately, there is an uncountable number of factors that influence the people we become, and it’s just one of the many (Seven of Cups).

Take Away:  A person’s name can influence who they become, but it is only one in a vast number of influences that make up the whole of a person’s development, and a rather small influence at that as long as the person has a good foundation beneath their feet and a solid surroundings and home life to lean into so that such things don’t take up too much of their focus.

DECK USED:  LUDY LESCOT TAROT

#MysticStarChallenge October Challenge Prompt
Question: How do I nurture myself to strengthen my relationship with my Guides?

Curio Tarot

Reading Summary: Be kind with yourself (Queen of Cups), and pick a direction (Two of Wands) for your expertise to grow into (Eight of Pentacles). Keep hope alive in your head and heart, and work on your optimism (The Star).

Take Away:  Nurturing myself with kindness and working on my optimism are repeating themes in my cards, and things that I truly need repeated reminders to keep up on.  The center cards about picking a direction for my expertise to grow into is an interesting addition, and something I need to turn over in my mind for a bit.  It’s good advice, it’s just not something I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about.  I’ve so long been a man of many skills that picking an expertise and a direction… even while making excellent sense? Feels weird to consider.

DECK USED:  CURIO TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: What cards represent my spiritual best?

Da Brigh Black Tarot

Queen of Spheres – Grounded and deeply rooted within that grounding. Filled with creativity and nurturing manifestation, the need to create and bring to life those things that are only thoughts is in my soul whether it is through the growth of plants, artistic pursuits, or the creation of jewelry.

Justice – My need for balance and fairness is an integral part of my moral compass.  I know that life is not fair, but I also know that even if the only fairness in the world comes from me?  I’m going to do my best to instill a level of fairness and balance into my life and, when possible, the lives of others as well.  It is needed.

King of Swords – My knowledge is extensive and diverse, and I have the ability to inspire others to seek knowledge on what inspires their curiosity as well. Leading by example, I delve into any subject that draws my interest and my focus, and although I am willing to share that knowledge with others, I’m also very much interested in pushing others to explore on their own as well.

DECK USED:  DA BRIGH BLACK TAROT

Picking Up A Previous Practice

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and I fidgeted through the entire process.   I had an idea for a new organization method for my decks, and honestly?  I just couldn’t calm down about it enough to do anything useful with those ten minutes of meditation.  I will try again tonight before bed.   Now that I have everything rearranged (again), I should hopefully be a bit less fidgety.

Tarot of the Sidhe - The Dreamer, Ace of SwordsToday’s draw is The Dreamer card (Ace of Swords), which is traditionally a representation of inspiration, new ideas, eureka moments, and mental clarity.

What stood out the strongest to me in the imagery of this card is the hands at the bottom.  Their positioning is probably supposed to represent the alchemical air symbol of an upright triangle with a line through it.  The thing is, though?  It looks an awful lot like the Hakini mudra (except that the pinky fingers are not bent in that mudra, so it’s not exactly… right.

Still, it’s actually pretty fitting, as the Hakini mudra is used for concentration and to boost the brain including memory, inspiration, and cooperation between the right and left hemispheres.

I see this card’s appearance today as a reminder of the benefits that including mudras into my medication can have.  This is an activity that I have really slacked off on over the past few months, but I think it’s time to start incorporating them into my practice again… and perhaps I’ll even start with the Hakini.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE SIDHE

#TarotForGrowthAugust Challenge Prompt
Topic: I’m struggling to move past trauma.
Question: Who can I turn to for help enforcing those boundaries?

Tarot Mundi In Minima Tarot

Reading Summary: Family and friends (Four of Wands) will step up to provide solid back up (Knight of Discs) when needed (The Tower).

Take Away:  Friends and family is the answer here.  It’s those that are nearest and dearest to me that I can depend on.  People like Gideon, my sister, Z, J, Ms B… these are all people that are a part of my inner circle of love and support and people that I can depend on to help when I need it.    The key here is in the last card in this spread, which is The Tower, and the deck’s way of stressing “when you need it”. 

DECK USED:  TABULA MUNDI IN MINIMA TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsAug2020 Challenge Prompt
Topic: Do Spread #4

Odd Hand TarotSeeds Sown – Ace of Pentacles – The seeds that I planted in the spring that have flourished have to do with finding a new balance between my responsibilities and my life.  This isn’t so much about the balance itself, which is still in the works, but the openness and willingness to make the changes needed and start upon a new path.

The Chaff – Strength – Those seeds that have not flourished are the ones that I plant every year and this year have chosen  not to encourage.  That is the tendency to push and shove and force my way forward with determination and blind focus. In the past I have done this to my own detriment again and again, and it is something that has been working for me less and less with each year that passes.

The Harvest – Four of Wands – Friends and family connections are going to be very important as I prepare to reap the rewards of my summer’s hard work. This card indicates I need to make sure I’m not just getting myself ready for the busy season ahead, but my those around me as well… both those that are here to help with that busy time, and those that are stuck waiting in the wings for the rush to end.

DECK USED:  ODD HAND TAROT

Lionharts #TheAugustTarot #ElementalChallenge
Question: How can I best provide help and support to my loved ones at this time?

Luminous Void Tarot

Reading Summary: When crap happens and they feel depressed (Five of Discs), be generous (Six of Discs) with my advice (The Hierophant) and my emotional support (King of Cups).

Take Away:  Honestly?  As much as I love to help people?  I always feel like when I give advice that it might be overstepping.  I mean, I know that the advice is decent and I have a lot of experience under my belt to base my advice through… and yet it always feels like encroaching? I’m relatively sure that this is not the case and just my own personal insecurities, but there’s always that worry of being seen as some sort of know it all. You know, not the good kind but the annoying kind.

Funny enough, you would think it would be the emotional support part of this reading that I balk at, but when it comes to those closest to me that I love and that love me? I don’t have a problem reaching out with a hug or some emotional support.  It’s probably one of the only scenarios in life where being emotionally connected doesn’t feel awkward or uncomfortable.

DECK USED:  LUMINOUS VOID TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I make the world a better place?

Pride Tarot

Ten of Swords – Show by example just how much you can survive.

Ooph.  Okay so this one is a hard one for me.  Not that I don’t share my struggles or that people aren’t aware of some of the things I have been through.  But if I were to list out all of the crazy ass shit that’s happened in my life…. or even just the ones that left scars on my body… it would sound like some sort of catastrophic “The Man Born With No Luck” B-movie or something. I have survived a lot.  A LOT.  But… it feels weird to put it all out there, which is sort of what you have to do if you want to show people by example just how much a person can survive and continue to move on from.

Eight of Wands – Send out into the world the positivity that you create. (imagery based)

This is something that I do regularly and love the most about my home business.  I love making beautiful things and sending them out to others to love and cherish.  I hope that every single piece of jewelry and other creation I make finds a home where it can brighten someone’s day… or many days, as the case may be.  I instill these hopes and that intent into each of the pieces I make.

Knight of Swords – Choose your battles wisely.

Sometimes we all pick battles we shouldn’t.  I think that’s a part of life and learning when and where to pick the battles that really mater and mean something.  To make the world a better place, it’s important to examine the battles you’re deciding to fight, and make sure they’re really worth the time, effort, energy, and emotion that you’re going to pour into them.  What is the motivation behind becoming involved?

DECK USED:  PRIDE TAROT

Developing Understanding

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IMG_3944Today’s meditation was just over ten minutes long and focused upon connecting with your inner voice and emotions, and allowing meditation to take you to a place of stillness that allows us to better hear that inner voice that can sometimes be so very quiet.

By stilling our mind and bodies, sometimes we are able to better connect with that voice.  And by using meditation regularly, we become more adept at finding that quiet stillness and sinking into it.   It allows that stillness to become a part of you.  A part of you that grows and develops over time until that inner voice is able to open up and become much louder, and speak to you more often.

Ace of Zephyrs - Ace of Swords - Stolen Child TarotToday’s draw is the Ace of Zephyrs (Ace of Swords) which is traditionally a card that indicates the seed of new beginnings concerning thoughts, intellect, and communication.

What really stands out to me in the imagery of this card today is the combination of vertical and horizontal eyes.  This speaks to me of multiple perspectives, where the green that leaks from the eyes and into the brain then speaks to me of absorption.

The message in today’s card is about learning.  It’s about allowing yourself to be open to new perspectives. Not just open to them but allowing them but allowing yourself to absorb and understand these perspectives, seeking new knowledge and new understanding in the process.

This is something that I seek out regularly.  Even if I can’t relate to the perspectives that I sometimes collect, I am always open to hearing them and they give me the knowledge to know what others feel and think and believe.   I think it’s important to be open to at the very least hearing other’s perspectives.   I think that you need to be confident enough in yourself and your own path that every perspective you hear does not end up adopted as your own, though, as well.

DECK USED:  STOLEN CHILD TAROT

#TarotForGrowthApril Challenge Prompt
Question: What lesson am I being taught at this time?

White Sage Tarot

Reading Summary:  How to provide a sense of stability (Four of Pentacles) and emotional security (Ten of Cups) while plotting a course forward (Two of Wands) that leads my loved ones through difficult times (The Emperor).

Take Away:  With everything that has been going on in the world lately, and the fact that we are in lock down together (my sister and I and our childhood mentor), there is a lot of uncertainty going on.  The lesson that the cards indicate I am learning at this time is how to create and provide that sense of security and stability for others, and lead them through times of uncertainty and struggle.

DECK USED:  WHITE SAGE TAROT

#DiscordTarotholicsApr2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: What is Divinity?

Marshmallow Marseille TarotReading Summary:  Guidance (Hierophant) towards living a better life (Judgement). Connection (Two of Cups) and stability (Four of Pentacles).

Take Away:  Divinity is the guiding light in the darkness that helps us learn to be better.  Better people. Better at the things that we do.  Better at making good choices.  It gives us the capacity to create connections both with others and with divinity itself, and creates within us a sense of stability that fosters our strength and moral compass.

DECK USED:  MARSHMALLOW MARSEILLE TAROT

 

Searching for Balance

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IMG_3239Today’s meditation was just over fifteen minutes long and focused upon relaxing with an open heart.   It included a lengthy body scan and guided relaxation before moving on to focusing upon opening up the heart chakra and directing caring warmth first to the self, and then outward to others you know, and then the world at large.

I’ve done this sort of meditation before and it’s very relaxing.  That said, I wasn’t particularly fond of the format of the meditation I used today.  It ended too abruptly for my taste, and the narrator was a bit too… measured and emotionless.

Ace of Swords - Hush TarotToday’s draw is the Ace of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of new beginnings, potential, and the planting of seeds in the area of one’s thoughts, intellect, and communication with others.

The imagery in this card makes me connect more to the energy of the Knight of Swords than the Ace, though. I see strength and movement and power.  I also can see vulnerability, though.  Although the unicorn is powerful and the girl is not shielded from the flying arrows and battle around her.   She clings to the mount, but she is bare of foot and without armor.

The message that I see in this card is about balance.  Yes, it’s important to go after what you want, but do not become so focused upon the prize that you forget you are more than just a knight… you are also a vulnerable in a nightgown clinging to a unicorn.  It’s okay to be soft.  It’s okay to be gentle and vulnerable .  It is possible to be both vulnerable… and strong.

DECK USED:  HUSH TAROT

#TarotForGrowthMarch Challenge Prompt
Question: How am I being invited to make space for rest at this time?

New Choice Tarot de Marseille

Reading Summary: All of this defensive energy (Seven of Wands) birthed by the present uncertainty (La Lune) is here to teach me (Le Pope) how to better enjoy my down times (Four of Wands).

Take Away:  Okay, so this is a crap-ass way to learn a new lesson, but I do understand.  I understand that I need to let up.  I understand that there’s nothing I can do now to protect myself from what may come.  Not in this instance.  I understand that I just need to sit back and wait.   The problem is… that is not in my nature. It goes against everything I have ever been. 

And that’s the point.  I have to learn something else.  Something new.  Something different. Even if I have to fight tooth and nail the whole way through the lesson to get there.

DECK USED:  NEW CHOICE TAROT DE MARSEILLE

#DiscordTarotholicsMar2020 Challenge Prompt
Question: How can I best improve in that area? (Built of yesterday’s cards.)

Luna Sol Tarot

Reading Summary:  Focus on my skills and those things under my control (Eight of Discs). Take time to plan ahead (Two of Wands), but not from a defensive stance, but from one of innovation toward the future (Page of Discs).

Take Away:  This is what I am trying to keep my focus on during this time. Because I am unable to simply sit and wait, I am trying to keep my focus on prepping for the future and planning for when things lift and settle again. I want to be able to hit the ground running when things get to a point where I’m able to do just that.  Instead of entertaining paranoia and catastrophizing worry… I need to keep my eyes on what I can do instead of what I can’t.

DECK USED:  LUNA SOL TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I use my senses to tune into my intuition?

Les Métamorphoses du Jour Tarot

This is about doing what I’ve been doing. It’s about not allowing uncertainty to throw up walls that my intuition is then muffled by.    This isn’t about my  other senses, as I had thought that it would be.  I thought that the cards would speak to me about the five senses of smell and touch, hearing and taste and sight.

Instead, this is about allowing my intuition freedom from the walls that muffle and contain when they rise up in order to protect myself from the unknown.

DECK USED:  LES METAMORPHOSES DU JOUR TAROT