5 Cent Tarot

New Horizons to Explore

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Today’s meditation was skipped.  Not for any particular reason but mostly just because… well, I didn’t feel like it. I know it’s not a good excuse, but it’s what happened.

Heaven & Earth Tarot - Ace of SwordsToday’s draw is the Ace of Swords, which is traditionally a representation of the seed like beginnings of new ideas, new ambitions, new knowledge, or new communication.  The key here is in the fact that it’s the sword suit, which deals with intellect, logic, communication, and ambitions… and an Ace, which is about the seeds of something new.

What stands out to me the strongest in the imagery of this card today is the moss-like drape of vegetation from the sides of the crown.  The book calls these “laurels”, although… they don’t look like laurel to me.

The reading that I did earlier this morning was about alone time, and making sure that I seek out alone time for myself even when it feels like a waste of time or some sort of frivolousness.   This drape of mossy “laurel” is a reminder to me of that healthy alone time that I need to make sure I’m getting enough of.

The seed of the ace is there to encourage me to look for new ways to get that alone time, new places to go and things to see, new trails to hike and locations to visit so that I continue to stay interested and eager to seek out that needed alone time whenever I’m able instead of losing interest and procrastinating on it.

DECK USED:  HEAVEN & EARTH TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What does your inner child crave that you’ve been ignoring?

Earth Bones TarotReading Summary:  You’re paying too much attention to feelings of scarcity (Five of Jars atop Ten of Petals Rx). Step up and take control (The Emperor) instead of doubting your intuition and emotional growth (Page of Jars Rx).

Take Away: Stability and validation concerning my emotions is what my inner child craves that I have been ignoring.  The thing is?  I honestly ignore my inner child as much as possible.  Maybe because it’s called my inner “child” yeah?  I don’t relate well to children and have a hard time relating to that term as I was never really much of a “child” even when I was one. 

That, of course, means that my “inner child” is quite repressed and neglected.  I only let it out to “play” when I’m feeling good, and considering how much time I spend in the slippery slide of depression, crawling out of that dark pit, or hovering right on the cusp of the pit at risk of falling in?  That’s not a lot of freedom for my inner child to get some air.   Right now (not surprising as I’m sliding down that slope of the pit) my inner child is feeling vulnerable and unsure of itself and, due to my trying to ignore the encroaching depression… invalidated.

DECK USED:  EARTH BONES TAROT

#ConnectWithYourDeckChallenge by E Roebuck-Jones
Question: How can I stop procrastinating?

5 Cent Tarot

Reading Summary: Take charge (The Emperor) and do one small little thing at a time (Temperance), and you will feel more nurtured and able as a result (The Empress).

Take Away:  Maybe it’s time to start doing a few orders a day, one cleaning task a day, take chores and things that need to be done in bite sized pieces… rather than putting them off to do in large chunks because it just feels like “too much trouble” or overwhelming.  That’s the major excuses that I have for procrastinating most of the time after all…. that it feels like “too much” or “too much trouble” or is just overwhelming for some reason..

DECK USED:  5 CENT TAROT

Battening Down the Hatches

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IMG_8568Today’s meditation was just over thirteen minutes long and was a guided meditation with interval timer for my piriformis stretching. 

The topic of today’s meditation was about gratitude and love, and how getting in touch with those emotions can create a sense of peace and calm when one is stuck in moments of chaotic thought or dealing with sensory overwhelm.

This is an interesting approach, as usually when I am feeling chaotic and overwhelmed, I pause to take a deep breath, or even a moment’s calm meditation… but I’ve never thought of really bringing in gratitude into the practice.  This is definitely something I’m going to need to try the next time I need to calm down from chaotic moments.

Bonestone & Earthflesh Tarot - Nine of WandsToday’s draw is the Nine of Wands, which is traditionally a representation of “standing guard” over what is important to you, setting strong boundaries, and having the courage and resilience to stand strong when one is being tested.

I think that I’m going to need to read the book for this deck in order to help me reconcile some of the artwork in the deck with the specific tarot cards that the imagery is placed on. I struggled a bit with the Ace of Cups… and this one, as well. I think that it will help to at least skim through the book in order to get a better feel of where the artist is going in connecting artwork to the cards.

What stands out to me the strongest in this card today, though, does actually fit with the traditional meaning of the Nine of Wands.  It is in the expression on the features of the figure among the leaves.  It’s an expression of determination that says “I will not stand down, and I will not falter”.

I guess that it is because he is “of the green” that I’m thrown off by the imagery here in contrast to the traditional meaning.  Which is fine, and usually doesn’t bother me but for some reason, in this deck, I feel the need for them to connect and make sense.

The message in today’s card is to remember what you’re “fighting for”.  What is it that’s important to you?  Are you taking the precautions and steps necessary to keep those things and people safe?  It’s time to examine what you’re doing in this area and ensure everything is where it needs to be.  (It’s also a reminder to renew my Nest subscription.)

DECK USED:  BONESTONE & EARTHFLESH TAROT

#DiscordTarotolicJan2021 Challenge Prompt
Question: What do you feel you deserve?

5 Cent Tarot 2nd EditionReading Summary: *Wincing as the cards go all ugly as they echo the negative inner narrative in his head.*

The more “in charge” I strive to be (The Emperor), the more anxiety and worry (Nine of Needles) I deserve to have clouding my judgement (Ace of Needles Rx) and creating confusion which keeps me frozen in indecision (Two of Needles Rx).

Take Away: Failure. Specifically, failure bred through my own ineptitude. 

I knew that in doing this reading there was a risk my negative inner voice would be given a loud speaker, but… damn.  I wasn’t really expecting it to be quite so ugly. Not that I’m not aware how ugly it can be but, I feel… exposed.

DECK USED:  5 CENT TAROT 2ND EDITION

Even Flow

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and focused on tolerance, which is a very fitting subject for today’s meditation considering the card I drew for today.   The meditation guided me through a breathing exercise while discussing how when you find that mindfulness of being centered in your practice, irritants in the environment cease to become disruptive aggravating irritants, and instead become simply another part of the environment around you, and you detached from an emotional response to them.

Temperance - Tarot of the Little Prince Today’s draw is the Temperance card of the Major Arcana. This card is a representation of…. well… temperance.  Duh, right?  Okay so what IS temperance then?  Temperance is moderation and self-restraint, and through those traits the creation of balance.

In order to create this balance, that self restraint requires a purpose, and that is the message of today’s card.  It is a reminder of my goals.  Not just of my goals, but of what I need to do (and not do) in order to achieve them. Sometimes my “addictions” can get the better of me.  Sometimes my emotions can get the better of me too. And, if I’m truthful, sometimes even my creativity and ambitions can get the better of me.

In all these cases, moderation is needed, and self restraint is required.  Otherwise, things fall out of balance, chaos reigns, and my world begins tumble out of control.

Funny side note?   Every time I see a Temperance card lately?   The chorus of the Pearl Jam song “Even Flow” starts playing in my head.

DECK USED:  TAROT OF THE LITTLE PRINCE

Bonus Reading – #TarotForGrowthDecember

Question: How can I improve my relationship with my body in the coming year?

The 5-Cent Tarot

Reading Summary: More exercise (Page of Buttons), preferably some of it outside (The Sun) is needed, but so is giving myself the rest that I need (Four of Needles). Take time to bond with others and take them on my journey (Three of Needles atop Three of Cups).

Take Away:  So, the thing that I have NOT been doing to up my self-care over the past year has been in the exercise department.   I know that to gain weight, I need to get back to the gym, because I need to build muscle in order to create that bulk I lack.

I don’t know why I’ve been so avoidant on this, but I do know that part of it is my discomfort with how lean I have become and…. a sort of self blame for all of that, even though I know a lot of it was from the cancer.   I need to forgive myself and involve others in my self-care to benefit from it the most.   And, as always… I need more rest.

DECK USED:  THE 5-CENT TAROT