Where My Perspectives Have Changed

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So, last month on  YouTube, MIRTHandREVERENCE did a video answering a subscriber’s question about how her practices and perspectives have changed over the 40+ years she’s been on her path.    I really like this question, and decided I wanted to share my own experiences concerning the differences between how I was raised, and what I practice now.

crossroads

I think that the biggest difference is the use of deity.   In my parent’s home, we had the God and Goddess of the Pagan’s wheel of the year.  We also had Buddha, Sanshin, and Quan Yin.   My father had a shrine, my mother had an altar, and there were small statues set out in reverence to these deities throughout the house.

I never really felt comfortable worshiping deities, and once I had left my parents home soon after I turned sixteen, I stopped.  That isn’t to say that I stopped my faith, only that my faith changed.  I did not personify my faith, but rather reach beyond the faces and “deities” to the elements and the energy of creation, evolution, and balance itself.   This is where my focus lies in my devotionals, petitions, and invocations.

Along that same line is the difference in how much worship and prayer is involved as a whole.   I spend less time on my knees in front of a shrine or altar, and more time within nature, bonding and appreciating it all.  I also do a good deal of my worship standing or active within nature.

Group gatherings.  Meh.

Growing up, my parents attended many group gatherings with like-minded folks.  They had circles and they had munches.   They sought out a pagan parenting mentor (who you know as Z) to assist them in guiding my sister and I along a similar path.

Other than with my sister?  I don’t worship with others.  I have no interest in sitting in a coffee shop talking about deity and ritual.  I don’t need others energies and intentions and motivations screwing with my spellcraft.  Just… not for me, I guess.  I suppose you could say that I just don’t “play well with others” in that way.

There is much that has remained the same in the separation of those fifteen-ish years, but above are the most notable differences that have developed over time to transition my faith from that of my parents into something that works for me alone.

 

Perspectives

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and ten seconds long, and focused on staying present and mindful in the moment as a way of developing better concentration and focus not jus in those moments but in life as a whole. Hi

Today’s draw is the twelfth card in the Major Arcana, which is the Hanged Man. This card, like all Major Arcana cards, is a “big picture” card rather than dealing with only one aspect of the human experience. The Hanged Man is my favorite card in the tarot, snd is a representation of taking s step back in order to gain a new perspective.

Today’s card is another push within the currently running theme concerning new perspectives where my family is concerned. I don’t see this as I would a stalker card, where I’m just not getting the message. Instead, the repeat themes using different cards feels more like reminders and encouragement.

I am doing my best to keep an open mind where they are concerned and not allow their past behaviors to influence my perceptions or expectations. This doesn’t mean I am leaving myself wide open to be hurt or abused, only that I’m trying to give them the benefit of the doubt.

#GrumpyWitchTag (non) VR to Yarrowen and Heather Carter

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I wouldn’t say I’m necessarily a “grumpy witch”, but I think the questions are more about the things you either don’t like or don’t connect with, rather than really being grumpy. This tag first came to my attention in Heather Carter’s channel, and then I forgot about it a bit until the other day Yarrowen also did a response to it.

pug

So here’s the questions and my answers to them…

1. Do you have a least favorite time of the year magically?

The second half of Summer.  I’m just not a fan.  It’s all about the heat, the lack of rain, the HEAT…. and, well, everything drying out and becoming crunchy.

2. Is there an herb that you don’t like working with or never seems to work in your practice?

No, although there are herbs and other plants that I avoid working with due to allergy issues.   Some of these include, but are far from limited to, juniper, alder, tobacco, marigold, linden flower (and lemon tree in general), and hibiscus flowers.   IF I work with these, I have to be extremely careful not to allow them to touch my skin or get near my face.  A flu mask, long sleeves, and doubled up latex gloves are a must, and sometimes eye protection as well.

3. Is there a stone or crystal that you don’t like working with or never seems to add anything to your practice?

Ugh.  I can’t work with nuummite.  It’s energy is too “heavy” and just drags me down when I come in contact with it.   That said?  My sister uses nuummite as a paperweight (with intention spellcasting) on her stack of little paper thin girl pad things?  WTF are they called?  Liners?   She uses them with those and swears by it.

Aside from that, I’ve learned a few lessons about where not to use certain stones because they are not suited to it (or I am not suited to their influence in that way of using them), but I it isn’t that I don’t like to work with them or don’t find them useful in other ways.

4. Is there anything that “bothers” you about your deity or your practice?

Um… well, honestly?   The shit that bugs me is that I just don’t have enough time to commit to it as I’d like.   That really doesn’t have anything to do with my practice though, and more to do with just being busy and overworked. I don’t work with specific deity, tho.

5. What do you do when a spell doesn’t work?

Review, reflect, revise, and try again.  OR…. evaluate if it’s something I really want or need in the first place, as sometimes when shit doesn’t work, it’s telling you that whatever it is is just not meant to be.

6. Have you ever done a meditation or astral work that did nothing for you?

I don’t do astral work, but I do meditate regularly.  And yes.   There are times when I just cannot manage to settle and focus for my meditation.  I wouldn’t say it does nothing for me, just that it doesn’t have the amount of a desired effect as I’d like.

7. Is there an element that just doesn’t work for you?

I don’t connect as strongly to fire or air as I do to earth and water.  I don’t really consider any of them not working for me though.

8. How do you get out of a witchy rut?

Usually?  I take a break and wait it out.   If I’m not “feeling it” I don’t do it.  I figure that it’s the universe’s way of telling me I need to take some time to let up and just relax for a bit.

9. How do you deal with life getting in the way of your practice?

The best I can?   I mean everyone has responsibilities and obligations to deal with.  Everyone has people that need our time and things that require looking after that have nothing to do with your practice.  It’s a part of life.   Like other parts of my life, I strive for balance.  Sometimes I mange it… other times, not so much.

Some of the ways I strive for balance is by trying to carve out specific time for different things, setting up methods of accountability (like this blog for my daily draw and Saturday check ins), and pre-planning/pre-working some of the things needed to prep for upcoming busy times.

10. When you have all of these negative feelings about your practice, what do you do?

I think I pretty much answered this in the eighth question.  I take a break and wait it out, or I may reach out to others for a different perspective to help me find balance a little faster if I think it will help.

 

Turning Over a New Leaf?

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes and twenty seconds long, and focused on the tone of our inner talk with ourselves.

The meditation specifically focused on questions that we ask ourselves, and whether these questions are fostering curiosity and exploration… or if they are self-defeating.

I think this is a good examination of our self talk, but I think it is limiting to consider only the questions we ask ourselves, instead of the inner discussions we have with ourselves as a whole.

The meditation was relaxing, and I even got a little bit of peace and quiet to do it by myself without somebody wandering into the room.

Today’s draw is the lovers card of the major arcana, which is a representation of choices, harmony, love and relationships, and the alignment of values between two or more parties.

The Lovers card is an encouragement to make the choice to give my family here a chance. Something has changed. There are still the occasional snide comment or ugly remark, but the lions share of the venom is missing compared to past experiences visiting this side of the family. Also missing are the sneaky, vindictive passive-aggressive tricks that used to be so common.

Whatever it is that made this change, I’m set a little off kilter by it and keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Today’s card is asking me to consider that maybe there isn’t another shoe. Maybe these changes are genuine and sincere.

This doesn’t mean I need to make up my mind right at this moment… but it is something to take into account and consider.

Choices… and Perspective

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I may have stumbled upon one of the new perspectives that my Self Care Saturday spread from earlier this week was referring to while I was in the shower last evening.

Fish

Sometimes in my mind I gripe about the shit I don’t like… as I’m sure most people do.  You know… not the people per se, but like the soft water in this house that has a weird taste and makes it fucking impossible to rinse all the conditioner out of my hair.

And then my mind kind of wandered on to thinking about my shower at home, which has much harder water and you come out of it feeling much cleaner.  And in the middle of this thought, I had a memory of when my aunt and cousin came to visit MY home for a while and how she had complained about my water being too hard.

And that got me to thinking…

Would I rather have her (or them) visiting my home?

Or would I rather be a guest in her home?

Her home.  Hands down, 100% completely her home.  That’s the answer.  I don’t like them in my home.  I don’t like any of them in my home. I don’t like them touching my stuff, putting ass prints on my furniture in odd places, or mingling their scents into the familiar scent of my home. I don’t like their energy mucking up my space, their dirty dishes, or their constant disturbances, or the need to feed them or entertain them.  I hate it.  All of it. I really do.

If coming here now and again keeps them from coming to my house?  It’s worth the discomfort.   Absolute, completely worth every little shred of the discomfort of being here.

And that is an entirely new perspective on visiting family that I hadn’t thought of before. So there you go… there really is gold at the end of the rainbow, you just have to dig in the mud to find it.

Taking Time

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Today’s meditation was ten minutes long and focused on taking time to step out of the hectic and rushed energy we surround ourselves with in everyday life.

It used the story of the tortoise and the hare as an example of how sometimes, it’s not speed but succeeds, but rather taking the slow and steady path.

This is something I often forget, and it’s an apt reminder for today, and a message that goes well with the card that I pulled earlier today.

Today’s draw is the Hermit card, which is a representation of retreat into the solitary, inner reflection, and soul searching. As a Major Arcana card, it does not deal with individual aspects of the human experience so much as with the larger picture.

I am finding being around so many people on a constant basis very draining. Today, my sister and I are being given the opportunity to go off on our own for a bit and have decided that after a visit to the only metaphysical shop in town, we are going to visit one of the local apple orchards for some quiet time.

Today’s card is an indication that it is time for a bit of alone time. I don’t find my twin to be draining on my energy, and I’m hoping that this solitary time with her will help me to recharge a bit.